Chapter Twelve: Gamechanger

"It's all up to Jesse now," Dr. Hendrickson tells the – well, he doesn't know quite what to call them. They act like the boy's worried parents, though he knows they have no relation to him. He can't quite figure it out but in the last few years, he's decided he cannot try and figure out the weird relationships that patients are involved with; after a patient asked him to try and smuggle in a Shetland Pony as his proxy, he's stopped asking questions. "It's sheer force of will, now."

"Jesse has a lot of will," Walt inputs feebly. And he knows that the young man does; probably more will than he himself has. Which is why it's always been mind-boggling to Walt why Jesse is so insistent upon settling in his life. Jesse's not bright, Walt is convinced of that, but he has a certain level of creativity and determination that could make him a success at pretty much any career if he'd just bothered to, well, apply himself.

Apply yourself, Jesse, Walt tries to transmit the message into his young protégé's head somehow. This one time, apply yourself.

"Jesse? Can you hear me?" Walt calls aloud. "We're waiting for you. We need you. Come back, Jesse. I know you can do it."

"Not so fast," a voice cuts in before Gus can continue. Jesse turns and it's Jane, who's standing behind him with her right arm raised to point accusingly at Gus, and she is flanked by Donald and Gale. "You have no right to influence his decision." She glares at Gus, steps forward and puts a protective hand on Jesse's shoulder.

"What do you want to tell me?" Jesse asks Gus, looking back at the man and meeting his eyes. He needs to know, he's sure he can bear the worst now. He's lived the worst.

"Let me tell you something about Walter White."

Beep – beep – beep – beeeep – Jesse's heart monitor begins going wild, and Walt and Skyler find themselves shoved outside of the room, only able to watch through the window, a silent movie, as they shock Jesse's heart, before one of the doctors runs and shuts the blinds.

Skyler swallows hard, pumps a fist – she knows, if only from watching too many episodes of House and St. Elsewhere while sitting in the empty carwash and perhaps pretending to ring up non-existent customers – that shutting the blinds is bad, shutting the blinds is always bad –

Will this be Walt within a year? Will they be shutting the blinds on him?

She almost doesn't notice when the blinds are raised again, until the doctors walk out, like Jesse's a car that just needed an oil change and now it's over and it's fine so we can just –

Is this Walt? Will this be Walt?

It scares her more that she doesn't know what would be worse – Walt like that, or Walt as he is now.

"Let me tell you what Walter White did…" Gus begins, but he's cut off by a right hook to his temple that seemed to be out of nowhere. Jesse sees that it's come from Donald Margolis, and he feels himself go slackjawed as he stares. He's not sure whether he's more surprised that Donald had the balls to punch Gus or that people can punch each other in purgatory.

"That's my daughter's boyfriend you're talking to, you piece of shit," Donald snarls, and Jesse is still gaping at the scene when Jane steps up beside him.

"Don't listen to a word he says!"

"Walter White…" Gus starts, even as he turns towards Donald, who runs up against him and tries to tackle him. Gus isn't even fighting, he's just kind of resisting and not letting himself be taken down, seemingly more focused on what he's trying to say than the fist that keeps flying in his direction. And Mike, Mike is just watching, with an unreadable look on his face. "Walter White…" Gus starts again, and there's two more words after that but Jesse can't hear them because Jane's yelling in his ear.

"Walter White loves you," she cries out, and Jesse knows what Gus was going to say, if not the exact words (though he can see the man's lips move), he knows the gist, and knows those words are true but that Jane's are, too. "Gus is a poison," she continues, and moves to stand between Jesse and Gus. "You don't belong here – you have to go."

"How?" Jesse asks desperately, because his sight is spinning and he feels sick to his stomach, he wants to lie down, and he still doesn't know – stay with Jane or with Gus or with Mr. White who did this – this thing he has somehow always known –

But now Jane's stalked towards Gus too, trying to help her father knock him over, and Jesse looks for Mike.

"Is up to you, kid," is all the P.I. says.

And then Jesse feels his hand taken in another's. Gale's.

Brown eyes look into blue.

"Ready to go back?" Gale asks. Jesse swallows and looks back. "She'll be here when you're ready to come back."

"Gale, I'm sorry," Jesse breathes.

"It's okay. Gus lied to me. He never said that he would hurt Walt in any way. We were both his pawns." He squeezes Jesse's hands tightly. "Close your eyes and will yourself back to Walter White. To Andrea and Brock. It's going to hurt – but I've got you. Just focus."

Jesse closes his eyes and he concentrates on Mr. White with every last bit of energy he has. What follows is what Jesse imagines prisoners being executed on the electric chair must feel.

Worse are the voices that begin to echo in his head:

"I woke up, I found her, that's all I know."

"Please don't do this – you don't have to do this."

"Jesse, it has to be you."

"You've signed my death warrant is what you've done!"

"I woke up, I found her, that's all I know… All I know… All I know…"

He clings to Gale's hands and doesn't let go.

Walt and Skyler are on either side of Jesse when he bursts awake, sits up and screams out, "GALE! Shit!"

But when Walt grips his hand, comforts, "Jesse, it's okay, I've got you," his breathing slows gradually, and he blinks.

"Mr. White."

"That's right, Jesse." Walt tries not to let on that he's trying desperately to catch his breath. "Welcome back."