Author's Note: Thanks a million for my wonderful Beta's: Rebecca, Lóide, Rachel and Owen, who gave me their time, pointers and thoughts and general awesomeness to make this chapter as good as it (hopefully) is. I love you guys.

And my readers are welcome to show them some love in the reviews :))

Chapter Six

November practically flew past Lea and it was a good month, work was great, her first movie "New Year's Eve" came to the cinema's around the world and she was in New York for press for that and in LA for the red carpet premiere; the first red carpet of a movie she took part in outside of glee. And the only person prouder of her than herself was Darren.

Darren who had made sure almost all her male glee colleagues went to the premiere with him too. He told them it was to support her but she knew he also used them as a distraction, to pull the focus away from him, of how people would see it if it had only been him coming out for her.

She'd thought it was completely ridiculous, especially since she'd asked Jon to be her date. Her best friend had known about Darren from the start, even before Dianna and had just chuckled a bit when Lea whispered to him on the way to the premiere how Darren would show up with an armada of decoys.

She worked hard to hide her unease at Darren's eager efforts to hide their relationship from the world as if it was a bad thing and while it was nice to have all her guys there, it still left a bitter taste behind knowing the prime reason for their attendance was Darren's prying.

He was slick enough though, by Naya's annual Christmas party Dianna and Cory were still the only people of the cast who knew.

Now as that particular night got older and more alcohol infused she actually managed to get him to kiss her under a mistletoe – in the kitchen, far away from everybody, he'd double checked with over-the-shoulder-looks as if he were a cheap imitation of James Bond. She felt triumphant because any kind of intimacy out in the open was a tough thing to get around with him – the time back at the swimming pool being an absolute one-off as he would not tire to state.

Still he kissed her in Naya's kitchen and got lost enough in it that neither of them noticed Chris in the doorway before he stage-coughed most obnoxiously.

He was wearing bright red lipstick and a smug grin.

"I so knew it", he said, getting new wine as if nothing odd had happened and then left again.

Darren was of course freaking out and Lea would've been annoyed that he mostly blamed her for their exposure, hadn't she been too ridiculously happy that Chris knew to care. Chris was one of her best friends and she hadn't been a fan of keeping such an important part of her life a secret from him.

Because being with Darren was important, if not the most important thing in her life the way it was, mostly making her happier than she ever remembered being, blissful even. Sometimes when she walked through LA with the biggest grin on her face she wondered if she might start soaring any minute, walking on air as she was.

They finished glee for the year and most of the bunch was headed for New York City for the holidays. Lea was of course going home and Darren would be there the whole time to rehearse for his first gig on Broadway. He was already so nervous and excited for it, he could spend hours upon hours not talking about anything else, she loved it.

And she was looking forward to spending time with him.

Christmas in NYC was magical and the whole flight they shared with Cory, Chris and Matthew, she could only think about how when he had finished his benefit concerts and she had done a TV appearance for a Bravo show and Inside The Actors Studio (she could hardly warp her head around that alone yet,her , little Lea So-Farty on ITAS? She was freaking out) – they would have almost three weeks of the winter break to be together.

Her first two days back in her home town she spent with getting ready for TV, then doing these TV interviews and spending time with Cory and Chris before they were both headed home for Christmas.

After a late night out with Cory she met him again the next day for coffee and a light lunch and she tried hard not to talk about Darren too much, about how excited he was, about how his rehearsals were starting and about how much he loved the city – just to not bore her tall friend with it but he was patient sit through hours of her praising her boyfriend with no complains, even discussing with her, what celebratory gift she should get him for his Broadway debut.

They met some fans like they had the day before and Lea linked arms with him once more, faintly remembering their agreement – on how they would amp up the rumors a little bit, how they should be seen together a little more frequently and hugged him extra tight when she said goodbye to him, making him promise to give his mother all her love and to call some time over the break.

She smiled on her way home, happy about her bear-y Canadian friend who was going to such great lengths to help her out, happy about being in New York City, happy about being alive and well and in love and resolved to watch some movies on the couch and wait to maybe hear from her boyfriend if he was not too busy.

Lea almost had a heart attack when she walked into her living room, merely wanting to put her bag down when she found Darren sitting on her couch, fidgeting with the label of a beer he'd helped himself to from her fridge.

He was looking up at her with an unreadable expression but never saying hello. Upon seeing him, she jumped back, startled, her hand flying up to her heart in shock.

"Jesus Christ, Darren. You scared the shit out of me", she breathed, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I thought I'd make use of this", he said, nodding towards her spare key on the table, she'd given it to him so that he could let himself in over the holidays.

She was happy to see him but for some reason she was cautious, there was something in the way he looked at her that made her feel uncomfortable, like something ugly was lurking around the corner, waiting to jump at her any moment.

Beneath his tight features, she could tell that he wanted to betray no emotions but she could still see that he was hurt and possibly angry. If with her or in general and why, she had no idea. But that was gonna change all too soon.

"Where have you been?", he asked her like he didn't want to hear the answer at all and she had a vague idea now where this conversation was headed and she didn't like it.

"I had coffee with Cory...he left for Canada, he says Hi", she replied dutifully, hoping Darren wouldn't take it the wrong way. Still, something told her Darren was past the point of taking anything the right way at all.

"Why?", he asked incredulously.

"What do you mean, why?", Lea asked back, crossing her arms defensively, "Maybe because he asked?"

"Yeah, of course he did", he huffed, "And I bet he asked you to walk him to his hotel in the middle of the night..and oh, I don't know. Come up maybe?"

His voice changed, and had a darker quality to it. One she'd never heard from him; accusatory and sharp. Was this really happening? Was he really throwing her a jealous fit?

"No", she said but didn't really know to what. She couldn't puzzle together how he knew about her and Cory's nightly walk.

"What no? You mean you didn't walk away into the night with him after dinner because that's what Chris told me, thinking I knew. But I didn't because you never told me", he'd gotten louder and had sat up straighter, his neck vein starting to pound dangerously.

Lea knew now that she was on the hot seat and it made her momentarily angry. He had absolutely no right to put her on the spot like this, implying God knows what when she never even did anything and thought nothing of it.

"I didn't tell you because there was nothing to it! And like what, should I text you every time I cross the street with someone?", she was still kind of smiling, a mix of her reaction to the absurdity of his uncalled for prodding and the ghost of her general good mood her boyfriend was sworn to diminish.

Instead of answering her rhetorical one, he jumped to his feet and shot a new round of his own scoffed questions, like, "When did you get home last night? Why didn't you call? Why couldn't you fucking tell me that you were sneaking around town with Cory?"

"We weren't sneaking around anywhere", she took a step forward, her features falling apart at his adamant tone, angrier by the second at how angry he was, "We took a walk after dinner while the others went for drinks and ended up talking for about an hour and I didn't call because you had a show and fuck, Darren, you didn't tell me to call you either"

There was not a shred of her chipper feelings from earlier left and a part of her just wanted to turn back time and never enter the apartment at all.

"No, I didn't", he said bitterly, "but maybe you could have still called me or texted – or tweeted but no, you already had to tweet a stupid picture from sunset which was – big surprise – from the same place Cory posted a pic yesterday? Do you think that's funny or something? To just flaunt it in my face like that? That he get's to see you and you can't wait to let the world know? Or am I not worthy your attention while he's here?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", she exclaimed, unable to stomach how this strange, angry, jealous man was the same guy as her attentive, funny, adorable, kindhearted, ever-patient, devoted, gentle and considerate boyfriend. This version of him was new. And she wasn't sure she'd ever wanted to meet him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", he shot back, moving around the table, stepping in front of her.

"I didn't do anything", she said, barely containing a scream of frustration, "We went to the pier for drinks with Ryan, all of us and we took a picture of the sunset and like, fuck you, because I'm just doing what you want me to do and I won't let you trample all over me for that"

"Doing what I want you to do?", he repeated mockingly, something vicious swaying along in his features that broke her heart, "How would I want you to fool around with another guy?"

The portion of her brain that was still analyzing the situation was aware that the desperate spark in Darren's eyes gave away just how much of this was rooted in his own insecurity but her own anger was slowly but steadily over-powering her senses. And he'd about broken the last straw...fooling around with another guy?

How dare he? He must know that she would never ever fool around, she was outraged that he was able to doubt her so much, to assume she had such little integrity, to think she would be leading him on if she had feelings for someone else, to imply that she was double-timing him without blinking.

And why now? He was with her at the New Year's Eve premiere when Ashton Kutcher was pretty much all over her and he hadn't even acknowledged it, why was hanging with Cory any different? Why did he feel so threatened and why wouldn't he just believe her?

"How would I want to watch you all over a fucking 7ft giant who will never love you like I do?", he said, his raised voice oddly contradicting his words, "..Because I fucking enjoy it so much; being made to look like a runner-up jerk-off"

"Good gracious, you fucking asshole", Lea exploded and gave him a push with both her hands, this was it, he'd taken it one step too far, she was shrieking now, every bit of self-control out the window.

"A fucking decoy, Darren for fucks sake, that's what I was doing, fucking being suspicious with Cory so people will leave you alone. Leave us alone, just like you wanted. You said it was a good idea, you said people would buy it when it was Cory. You sent me to him, asking him to be a part of our smart little scam but don't forget to tell him who's boss, 'go and tell him, Lea, tell him how you're my property now'. So that's what I fucking went and did all while spending time with a friend, thank you very much, I'm still allowed to have friends aren't I? Or did I miss the memo where that's suddenly not okay too? Because Cory is my friend, Darren, my friend, and if you would take some time to really get to know him, instead of always side-eying him like he's gonna take away all of your toys with his freakishly tall hands you could be his friend too and wouldn't have to feel so fucking threatened all the time and maybe, I don't know, fucking start to trust me"

She'd retreated from him but was still speaking, a salve of sharp words unloading on him like he had had it coming all along. She saw him squirm a little the few times she brought herself to look him in the eyes for emphasis. She knew she was drawing it all darker than it really was, that she wasn't exactly being fair to him but being fair was the last thing on her mind right now.

Frankly, now she didn't care if he wasn't happy with what she had to say, if it went against something they'd originally agreed or hurt his pride, pointing out that he must feel somehow insufficient next to Cory for whatever weird reasoning.

But he had decided to blow up like that, he had decided that now was the time to be an unreasonable jealous asshole, he had decided to display just how much he was not able to believe in her feelings for him and he had no hope for sympathy as she continued to voice all her piled up anger.

"And you fucking want people to think we're with other people, I'm just doing what you want from me and for you to get down on me for that is just fucking pathetic. If you can't stand it to think people will put me and Cory together why don't you come forth, huh? Am I so embarrassing to you or what? Or do you trust me so little that you rather wouldn't make it official? Is that it? You think we won't last anyway so why bother? Because I could fucking do without all the secrecy, I would be happy if people knew that I'm with you, I am not ashamed of this. I want to be with you, I am proud to be with you. Even like this, fuck! I swear, just say the word and I'll put Perez on the phone and you can tell him yourself. But you won't do that, will you? No, you don't want that. You're the one who won't even hug me properly anymore in public, not me. You're the one who keeps us hiding in the shadows like criminals, you're the one who acts like all that will come out of us in daylight is hate and regret, that isn't me, I didn't start this. You did. So fuck you, Darren, fuck you"

With that she turned around, drained and hollow, like a leaking balloon and she was about out of the room when Darren called after her.

"I'm taking Mia to a benefit", he spat out spitefully, a sense of desperation to his words and she was pretty sure he was sickly happy getting back at her like that.

"Fine", she said, not daring to turn around, she didn't want to see that look on his face, ever, imagining him looking at her, happy to cause her pain, was enough to make her eyes burn. She wondered if he had even heard to a single word she said – heard and not just listened like it didn't matter what she was saying because he already had an opinion.

"And I don't know, maybe take her to dinner after", Darren kept going, crueler than she could bare at the moment, "and then a little stroll through the city, sneak around for a bit, post a couple of twitpics, that kind of stuff"

"Leave", she muttered, careful to keep her voice steady, desperate to regain some sort of composure while her chest seemed to be contracting, imploding into a million little specks of hurt, anger and disappointment, she had never fought with him before. She never knew what punches he could throw. They hit hard. And she hadn't expected him to get back at her.

Normally she went all over people when she was pushed too far, leaving behind burnt soil and silence. Darren was not silent, he came back to kick her in the groin.

"Get out", she whispered, still not louder than before, just wanting to be somewhere else, to stop the madness before they would both say things they couldn't take back.

"What?", he asked, like he hadn't caught what she'd said and she could feel him coming up behind her.

"I said leave", she repeated, louder now, the words trembling from her lips and the schemes around her started to blur through her tears, "Get the fuck out of here"

Darren said nothing but he also didn't move, which was the breaking point for her and she turned around, kept her eyes fixed on his shoulders and pushed him, screaming, crying and yelling.

"Get out", she yelled, "leave me alone", and she pushed him through the living room, out into the corridor and out of the door. She met no resistance. Darren might be a naughty fighter but he would never touch her. Somehow this didn't make it better.

Because she wanted him to react, wanted him to say something, wanted him to apologize, to tell her he was only joking and he knew about Cory and that she was right and he was just messing with her. Or to hold her by the wrists and tell her to calm down, restrain her in a tight hug until she could breathe again.

But he did no such thing and she couldn't breathe.

He let her kick him out without a word, just a hard face and thin-lined mouth as he stumbled for the elevators, not even turning around once more, to look at the mess he was walking away from.

"And you know what, fucking think if you can be bothered to come back at all or if you want to be with someone you don't have to fucking hide", she cried after him out of sheer uncontainable frustration into the hallway.

She threw the door shut with all her might before blindly running to her bed, crying into her sheets, feeling like someone had ripped her heart out and now she was left to bleed to death. What had she done? What had she said to him?

What if he really didn't come back? What if he had a great time with Mia and decided he wanted to be with her again? If he chose the easy-going Bohemian over her, the over-dramatic Diva, the clueless one, the one who wanted more from this relationship than he did maybe? The one that called him out on his bullshit? What if he wanted convenience? She was everything but convenient, everything about her, everything about their whole relationship really.

What if he thought she had broken up with him? She hadn't, no. She didn't mean to. His behavior was stupid and out of line but the thought of loosing him was unbearable. They barely just got together. Two months? Two months of unreal happiness, endless nights and bright shiny days with the best an in the world to her eyes? Two months only? Had her right to luck already expired?

It just couldn't be all she would get. It couldn't be.

In a rush she ran through the apartment to get her phone out of her bag, fumbling clumsily with her wet fingertips, failing to unlock it and then took it back to her bedroom, rethinking.

She wouldn't call him. What would she say? No way on earth she would apologize because she had done nothing wrong.

'Hey, I love you but you're still wrong, I hate you right now but please don't leave me?', no, that was not going to hold up.

But maybe he would call her?

Of course he didn't and Lea couldn't seem to find a way to calm herself down, she cried for hours, waiting, unable to move away from her bed, before finally the pain and exhaustion took their toll on her.

She had fallen into an uneasy sleep before the sun had set over New York that day.

Yes, in case you were wondering, I'm totally leaving you with a cliff-hanger.