Author's Note: Thank you so much for your reviews! Also a huge shout out to Lóide once again, who is helping me tremendously with this story, gives gracious reviews and is just overall a total rockstar. Mind you though, I didn't have a grammar beta on this one, so there will be errors.
Sorry in advance.
Chapter Seven
Lea woke up when her bed shook slightly under her and she felt dizzy but too tired to turn towards the source of the sudden movement, she just heard two dull thuds on the hardwood floor, of light shoes carelessly being dropped and then there was more movement as the duvet was lifted and jeans clad legs rubbed against hers and an arm closed around her torso.
She was numb for a moment, before a million contradicting feelings spread inside her like a wildfire.
The first thing she felt was relief; it sent a chill down her spine after feeling hot with worry and regret, fearing he would never come back, fearing she'd ruined their relationship forever, fearing he wouldn't speak to her ever again. But now he was back and his arms were holding her tightly, his breath warm on her neck and his scent all around her.
Just to have him so close sent a jolt through her body, the familiar electric shock he elicited with every touch, his fingertips brushing the fabric of her shirt over her stomach and the way his light stubble crazed her skin. Everything seemed heightened all of the sudden because she suddenly felt complete again. Whereas before she'd cried herself empty, dulling the pain, all her emotions hit her with full force anew, like she was only half a person when he wasn't there. It settled her as much as it worried her.
She was not supposed to feel like that, not supposed to only be whole when he held her, not supposed to be her proper self just with him present.
She furrowed her brow at that notion when, a second later, she felt indescribably angry, all her fury from earlier flooding her body, flaming up her chest now, causing an uncomfortable sensation of feeling her lungs shrinking together, taking her breath away, while at the same time it felt like her skin would burst, all of those feelings pricking through her, wanting out like needles through every pore.
She wanted to move away, to scream at him how he even dared to touch her, to throw him right out and make him leave the key. To not be so dependent on him, to feel like she was in charge. She wanted to be angry enough to drown out her relief, wanted to be proud and loud and demand her freedom, her right to be treated with care and trust. She wanted to yell at him for making her feel like this but she couldn't open her mouth. It felt glued together, heavy with the lack of air, like she was sinking into the ocean with her feet in cement.
When she smelled the faint note of woman's perfume on him, jealousy was added to the potpourri of confusion and her head was immediately filled with images of him kissing Mia somewhere in an alley, promising her to come back to her, it made her stomach contract into tight knots, making her nauseous.
Once again she felt inadequate, not good enough for him and an unreasonable part of her thought to just turn around and sleep with him, touch and lick and kiss all over his body, proving that she could make him feel better than anybody else, showing him how good she could be for him.
She yearned to be just what he wanted, scolding herself for it simultaneously because that's not how she saw herself or the kind of woman she thought she was.
Still it was the truth, she wanted to be his, fully, wanted to be all he needed, wanted him to be perfect for him even if it meant giving up herself, molding herself into just the person he would want and couldn't live without.
Fear took a hold of her too eventually, afraid that he was letting her down easy now, that he was not sorry, that he was gonna break up with her and go back to his ex-girlfriend or that he'd just decided she wasn't worth all the hard work.
She wanted to scream that she was worth it, that he should fight for her, that she would make it worthwhile in the end, that she promised him the world and the moon and the stars if he just didn't leave her. It was pathetic.
There were too many emotions for her exhausted, shaken body and her blood-shot eyes; she'd fallen asleep crying and could barely open them, her head felt vacant and hollow, not able to reflect and digest all her different feelings anymore while her heart seemed to thrive into every kind of impossible direction at the same instant and so she just stayed unmoving, barely breathing in his arms, too weak to move away, too weak to move closer.
Like too many birds kept in a tiny cage, her feelings went rioting all through her and it was a miracle that she wasn't already crying just with the excessive demand, everything clouded additionally with every time their skin met, when his nose nudged her skin and his every breath that washed over her. She felt so utterly lost in her love for him while at the same time reaffirmed in all that she was, pushed up against him. It was a complete paradox.
She hardly knew herself anymore this very moment, all idea of self-image and self-worth contorted by the fear of loosing him but still painfully aware of all she wanted and desired, of the million contradicting wishes and needs that cursed through her, each and everyone involving him in some way; she knew what she wanted as she'd always done. She just didn't know if it was healthy.
When he finally whispered down her neck, she could barely hear him over the blood rushing through her ears, her body trying to get her beaten brain to function again.
"I'm so sorry", he breathed, "I'm a giant asshole and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"
He repeated this for about a minute, she lost count at sixteen "I'm sorry"s and while he apologized, he scooped closer to her, snaking his free hand under her head, cradling it, moving her towards him in a way that she ended up flush against him.
Having him so close should have made her feel appalled or resistant, protesting the proximity; a strong independent woman would throw him out, kick him, beat him away. The woman Lea thought she was would not take it, would not accept the apology, even if uttered a million times, not before he'd proved himself again, not before every hint of anger towards him had disappeared.
Instead, she found herself getting oddly collected, he literally pulled her together, held her in place so she could think properly. She wanted to fight this but even though she could think in larger capacities now, coming back to her senses in his firm grip, she wasn't able to gather the urge to move away, to set a boundary or build a wall between them – or just around her heart to not have it so bare in his hands, completely at his mercy.
"I'm so sorry", he said again and then he was quiet for a while, giving her a chance to say something.
She let it pass, still not able or willing to scold him but also unsure which of her other feelings she wanted to express. The knot in her brain and stomach was only slowly coming apart.
"I was unreasonable and I gave you so much shit and I felt like a bitch the entire night", he whispered when he was sure that she had nothing to say yet, the fact that he said "bitch" not "jerk" or "asshole" made her smile for an instant, beside herself lighting up at this so very typical use of words for him, "And when you said I shouldn't bother coming back I was determined to prove you wrong. I wanted to show you that I could stay away, that I could have a good time even though we just had a fight and I thought 'Fuck Lea' but the second I stepped into the elevator, I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I still had to smile for the cameras and not annoy Mia with my death wish and I just couldn't keep it together. I'm just trying to say that I feel like shit and I've been miserable all night and I would've gotten pathetically drunk and leave you alone but then I couldn't even think of a bar I wanted to go to, I just wanted to come back to you and make it okay. So how can I make it okay? Lea? Can I make it okay?"
To underline his statement, he snuggled even closer, his face lining her neck now, his forehead nudging her earlobe and she felt him take a deep breath, ragged at the end and it sounded like he was biting away tears.
She breathed with him out of a reflex, her rhythm falling in pace with his, the most organic process, just clicking into place with him, like two key pieces of a machine, a cog wheel set into regular, steady motion.
She tried to put her thoughts in order as they breathed together and wanted to answer him before he started crying because that would decidedly be too much for her. If he started crying she would turn into human Niagara Falls.
"I...", she muttered quietly and for a while that was all that left her lips, overwhelmed with the simple task of speech, "...I thought you wouldn't come back"
So that was it, she knew it only when she said it; that the relived part of her was the strongest part, the part that was over the moon that he had returned to her, that he cared enough, that he had bothered coming back. The pathetic part of her that admitted she was at a place where she was only whole with him at her side.
Yes, she was also angry and jealous but she did not have the power yet to let them win over her devotion to him. She eased into him further as she came to accept that truth.
"I couldn't stay away", he choked, holding back a sob audibly making her wonder if he was this close to crying because he was relieved too, happy that she hadn't thrown him out and let him touch her, "I thought I should give you some space but I couldn't..I'm so sorry"
Maybe he was just as needy for her, maybe just as dependent, maybe it had eaten him alive as well, the time they'd spent apart, only hours that felt like years, wondering and hurting in relationship limbo.
"I know you are", she murmured, because she believed him that he was sorry, the sentiment transcending through ever motion they made together, like it flowed through him, into her as if they were linked with more than just their bodies.
He hugged her tighter and Lea realized that he didn't expect her to apologize; he didn't think she'd been wrong and that fact sent a wave of love through her chest, throbbing enough for her to finally turn around and pull him against her, burying her face between his shoulder and chin, one hand clasped over his chest, one hand with a firm grip on his neck. His scent filled her nostrils, hitting her with a sense of home, a whiff of cinnamon and anxiety and suddenly it was Darren again.
Her Darren, her gentle, caring, considerate and nearly perfect boyfriend, enveloped in his embrace, not seeing him but sensing him, smelling him, feeling him towering over her, sheltering her, she knew him again, found him to be safe again.
The heavy weight was lifted up from her, she floated up to the surface and felt secure, she had him back and she stopped worrying, stopped wondering if she wasn't good enough and stopped worrying that she loved him too much, lost herself or compromised herself because something that felt so right couldn't be wrong.
She was right the way she was, he was a part of her, his love was her constant – it was nothing out of the ordinary that she would feel lost and broken without him. That was the world she lived in now, that was who she had grown to be.
"You're still an idiot", she mumbled against his skin releasing every ounce of muscle tension she still held, welcoming him back, finding her equal footing with him, albeit completely melting into his arms, surrendering to the feeling of wholesomeness he gave her.
"I know", he said kissing her temple, "I'm sorry about the Cory thing, I trust you and I believe you, I know he's your friend and I would never come between that and I will make an effort to be his friend too"
"Okay", Lea nodded, now feeling save to elaborate at least a little, "And I get that you're jealous, I understand, I died just knowing Mia got you for herself tonight, got to go to an event with you when I can't and it makes me angry and I understand how you feel towards Cory. I get jealous too"
"I thought about you all the time", he said, his breath running over her forehead and hair and his chest vibrating with the bass of his voice, "And a part of me really wants you out there with me, I want to take your hand in public, I want to mark my territory but I just can't yet. I can't put us out there. Mia gets hate mail because people just assume she's with me and I would never keep up the front if she wouldn't keep insisting that she's okay with it. I don't want you to go through that, I don't want people to drive us apart. I know they couldn't but they will try"
"And I love you and I want to make this work, I just want a little more time to really build us...a foundation, you know? Something solid that we can fall onto when things get rough and they will get rough. We're so blissful, we're so new to this and we are fragile. Not because I don't love you or you don't love me but because this is a new thing. At least it's a new thing for me and I'm terrified, I've never depended on someone so much, being with someone has never been so essential to my happiness, to my whole persona and I can't loose you. I can't risk this for anything and I know you are disappointed and you are tired of waiting but just please, please trust me too, give us a little more time. We need to be a rock once this hits, not a blossom, okay?"
"You just want us to make it", she whispered because it made sense if you looked at it from that angle and naturally protecting what they had was the utmost priority, the most important thing to guard and shield, "I get that"
"But you know, I thought, maybe on New Year's Eve...we can tell the others and then everyone else on glee, I think we can risk that", he offered and she knew it dragged at him, he was struggling to take that step, to involve more people, but she took the perspective gladly; at least at work they wouldn't need to keep it quiet anymore then.
"That sounds really good", she replied, trying not to sound too triumphant, knowing how it would make him feel cornered once they told them, that he would feel vulnerable and even more guarded than before.
"I love you", he said and kissed the top of her head, obviously happy that she could agree with this compromise, "and I'm sorry for being a fucking asshole"
"I love you too", she hummed, feeling like the world was alright again, everything back at its place, "And it's okay, just...just hold me, alright?"
He did as he was told and Lea closed her eyes, falling asleep in his embrace while her anxiety faded, replaced by a stillness and calm she'd never really appreciated before.
You only know what you got until it's gone, was the last thing she thought before drifting off.
oOo
The next time she woke up was in the morning when Darren left for another long day of rehearsal. He kissed her gently on the cheek and whispered that he loved her and that he would be back at seven or eight and left the apartment. She smiled as she went back to sleep.
When she woke up for good a consderable while later she could barely move. She'd slept in the same position all night, wrapped around him and even when he left she didn't move, staying close to where the sheets smelled like him.
She winced as she moved her head and her hand found her cell on the bedside table.
"Mom?", she muttered when her mother picked up with her usual chipper greeting, "Can we go to the spa today? I feel like I've been hit by a truck"
Her mother quickly said yes and two hours later they met at their favorite downtown spa, ready to be relaxed.
Lea was bouncy, despite looking like death. Even though she had slept deeply, her eyes where underlined with dark shadows and her skin was almost pale, something that made no biological sense. Every now and then she remembered the fight and her features would falter but she quickly found her way back to her happy place, the memory of his arms around her, of his whispered I love you's in the air.
Edith, her Mom, met her in front of the Spa and hugged her tightly, not failing to notice that her daughter looked slightly different.
"What happened? You look like you had a rough night", the woman asked worriedly as they walked through the empty lobby towards the reception desk.
"Darren and I had a huge fight", Lea answered openly, not keeping secrets from her mother, ever, "But we reconciled, he came back in the middle of the night and apologized like seventy times"
"And you forgave him?", Edith whispered before greeting the young woman behind the desk, booking a full five hours for the long treatment; massage, sauna, thermal bath and sound meditation.
"Yes", Lea nodded almost serene as another girl led them to the closed area where they could get changed.
"What was the fight about?", her Mom asked, looking around to make sure they were alone.
"He was jealous of Cory", she said, "because I saw him so much yesterday and the day before and I got mad because he has absolutely no right and reason to be jealous and to distrust me like that and then he took his decoy-girlfriend, his ex, to some event to get back at me. But he came back and he apologized and he loves me and it's alright"
Her Mom raised an eyebrow, her forehead wrinkled. She had only met Darren twice in passing when they hadn't been together yet and Lea knew that she was fond of him, even if they had never really spoken and apparently Edith had troubles imagining an ugly, jealous side to Darren – just as Lea would've, had she not seen it in action.
"Why hide you then?", she asked, truly her daughter's Mom.
"That's what I was so upset about", Lea repeated, "but he explained to me how he sees it, how he wants us to have a solid foundation, a firm ground to stand on before we let the world know, so that the nay-Sayers can't possibly hurt us anymore..and that's what I want too, so we are on the same page now"
"Well it seems to be working, word on the street is that you're indeed with Cory", her mother remarked, putting her white robe on, "Everybody asks me about him and I always say 'Not to my knowledge'"
"Well, we're kinda...um..okay, I know this sounds bad but Cory and I are kinda playing it up, like..Darren and I think it can only work to our advantage if we..kinda push things into a certain light", she admitted sheepishly and felt found out and embarrassed doing so, she still didn't like that whole thing much but it was what would keep her and Darren safe from exposure until further notice, "We've always been close and I asked him if he would do me - do us - the favor and he's been very kind about it and the media buys it and people on set are convinced they have us figured out and Darren and I are safe. Nobody even suspects a thing"
"You just don't seem to happy about it, that's all", her mother said after a while of studying her features closely.
"I'm not", Lea revealed freely, "but it's what's best. Sure I want to walk hand in hand down the street with him but right now, it's just not in zje cards yet and we're not at a place where we're about found-out, as I said, no one even thinks to put us together, we've kept it on the down-low pretty well. So we'll keep things like they are. Except we might tell people at glee once he comes back from How To Succeed. We will definitely tell everyone who's at our New Year's Eve party. I don't want to spend the night worrying about being close to him. I don't want the rest of my year to be like that. It's just that I can't loose him, I can't be without him, I need him and I love him and so I will do what he thinks is best for us"
Edith glanced at her from the side and Lea thought she almost seemed bewildered, maybe at her neediness, her open declaration of an almost dependent state but she chose to not dwell on this notion too much, she didn't want to think about it anymore.
Her mother seemed to notice this and changed the subject as they walked through the corridor to the massage room, "I can't wait to meet his parents properly, they seemed so nice at the movie premiere"
"You're gonna love them", Lea promised, "They're amazing, warm people"
"Oh Lea", Edith said pausing, hit by a thought, hand on the doorknob to the Spa room, "Jenna's coming too at New Year's?"
Lea nodded.
"Then you should tell her about you and Darren right now", she advised and then added explanatory, "She won't be happy learning it with the rest, you've been friends for so long"
oOo
Lea called Jenna the first thing as she came home. The Asian girl picked up the phone at the fourth ring, voice enthusiastic and bubbly. It reminded Lea oddly that life outside her and Darren's bubble was still the same. That although they had had their first fight and she had learned many new things abut him and herself, things she had been afraid to admit, the outside world was still just how she'd left it and kept turning like nothing had happened.
"Hi", she said, "I just got back home, God, I love New York"
"Haha, yeah, don't we all", Lea chimed in, "D'you have a minute?"
"Sure", Jenna said and Lea could hear her walking through dim traffic, dragging a wheelie bag behind her, causing the typical clacking sounds of wheels on concrete.
"You and Michael are still coming over for New Year's right?", Lea started, earning a curt affirmation, "So there's something I need to tell you, and I should have told you a while ago but couldn't"
"God, Lea, that sounds scary, is something wrong?", Jenna asked, the sounds of her bag had ceased and were replaced with mum voices and the occasional foreign language being shouted across heads with the occasional understandable 'Taxi' calls in between.
"No, nothing scary", Lea assured, "Just something I'd wanted you to know but couldn't tell you until now. It's..um..it's that my boyfriend will be there on New Year's Eve too"
For a second it was quiet at the other end and then Jenna's voice quipped a little higher.
"Boyfriend?", she asked, "Are you back with Theo or what?"
"No", Lea answered, wondering if she could just say it bluntly, too used to disguising the truth and giving vague answers, "But it's someone you know"
"Broadway or glee?", Jenna asked and she seemed to like the guessing game, becoming all animated suddenly as a car door slammed shut.
"Glee", Lea said.
"Cast or Crew?", Jenna shot back, "This is fun"
"Cast", Lea had to agree, this was quite fun.
"Cory", Jenna said, terribly sure of herself.
"No"
There was a pointed pause, the dark haired girl had not been expecting that – the prompt silence told Lea as much.
"Sure it is", she argued after a while, "Come on, it's totally Cory"
"No, it's not, I swear", Lea said, head shaking uselessly because there was no one there to see it.
"Hmm...then it's Mark"
"No", Lea smirked, "Though I think I'll invite him too, he seems a little pissed at Barcelona"
"Oh God", Jenna exclaimed, she hadn't even listened to Lea, "It's not Darren, is it?"
"Well...", Lea thought this would do as confirmation..and it did.
"Shut the front door!", the girl said in genuine surprise, "I thought you weren't interested in him? How long?"
"Since West Side Story actually", Lea revealed and met silence again and now she was afraid Jenna would be disappointed that she hadn't told her earlier.
"Wow", Jenna merely said, "I had no idea. But it sort of makes sense, he was always all over you and then suddenly he wasn't anymore..Why didn't you tell me?"
"We want to keep it on the DL, we might tell glee in February but we won't make it public-public for a while", Lea said, "I just wanted to let everyone know who's coming to the party so we don't have to worry about exposure"
"Who else knows?", Jenna asked, "I bet Dianna does"
"Yeah, she does, Jon and Cory", Lea affirmed, "And Chris but he found out by accident, he walked in on us kissing at Naya's party"
"Wow", Jenna repeated, "So Chris kept this secret well – normally he makes all these little hints and jabs when he's in on one"
"No, he didn't even talk to us about it, he just said 'I so knew it' and never spoke of it again – except at Bravo, he nearly gave us away then..on national TV no less"
"How?", Jenna asked, excited with the prospect of a good story.
"We were talking about how we'd joked that Darren and I are secret siblings, that we look so much like the other and then Chris said that would be weird because it would be such a Luke and Leia thing and I hardly noticed at first but then I was like, 'Shit Chris, do you even know what you just said?'"
Jenna laughed at the other end, "What did you say?"
"I don't know, I think I said 'Haha, right' or something dumb like that, I couldn't really think and then I just hoped the moment would pass fast which it gladly did but that was a scare, no one picked up on it though. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you so that you're prepared and I'm happy that I finally could and I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner, I hope you're not mad"
"Nah, it's fine", Jenna said and Lea could hear her even and casual smile through the phone, "But it's juicy news now, I think it's cool, you guys make a cute couple, Naya is gonna feel so acclaimed when she finds out"
"Come February", Lea reminded her and Jenna hurried to agree, "So I'll see you on the 31st at the latest?"
"Sure", Jenna said, "But wow, that's really some news..and are you happy?"
"Ecstatic", Lea answered truthfully, "I love him so much, it's unreal, we had a fight yesterday and I thought I would die"
"Oh", Jenna gasped sympathetically, "But it wasn't too bad, was it?"
"It was quite bad and it was our first real fight ever", Lea mused, the whole thing seeming more like a distant memory each time she talked about it, "I was scared I'd lost him but he came around and I think we came out stronger"
"That's good, every couple kinda needs to find their way into fighting, Michael and I dodged every kind of conflict at first and we really had to get ourselves together to fight some stuff out, I think it's never good to harvest hard feelings until everything implodes completely", Jenna said, "It poisons the relationship"
"You're right", Lea agreed and was glad that Jenna understood, "Are you free tonight by the way? Dianna and Harry wanna go out for dinner"
"Aww, I'm going out with the fam", Jenna said regretfully, "But you guys have fun, is Darren coming too?"
"Probably, depends when he gets out of rehearsal", Lea answered, organizing her kitchen table neatly.
"Does Harry know?", Jenna asked curiously.
"No", Lea sighed, "and I don't think we'll tell him yet, we're also in a public place so there won't be any display of affection anyway"
"Yeah..you know that was probably the thing that irked me if I think about it", her friend mused on the other line, "That he doesn't cling to you as much as he used to and that you're always all over everybody but never over him"
Lea scoffed a laugh, "Ha! He doesn't let me. Plus if I would start on him in public with the whole girlfriend thing I couldn't be stopped"
"I'd mount him like a lioness", Jenna imitated Lea's voice followed by giggles of the two, "What does that even mean?"
"What can I say? He's so irresistible", Lea said in an old-movie kind of over the top voice and added a stage-sigh for fair measure.
Jenna cooed then and after they'd exchanged their usual end-of-call-friendliness, Lea put her phone on the counter and smiled at how well this had went. She was once again wholeheartedly thankful to be blessed with such a perfect, understanding, patient and easy-going, loyal friend as Jenna.
oOo
Darren barely made it to hers in time to get ready for dinner. She was already dressed and about ready to go when he popped into the apartment, kissed her quickly and hurried to the bedroom to get changed, slipping into one of his shirts from the stack she'd borrowed from him to sleep in.
"How was rehearsal?", she asked touching up her make-up in the corridor mirror.
"Fantastic", he called back happily, "I only flubbed about half of my lines instead of two thirds today"
"Oh you'll be fine", she laughed affectionately, knowing he always gave himself copious amounts of crap for getting lines wrong. It was endearing.
"I know but they still look at me like I'm this huge risk", he muttered in a way that she almost couldn't hear him two rooms over, "I just wanna show them that I can do this, that they didn't hire a total slob"
He stepped into the corridor in his new shirt with a scrunchy face that disappeared for a second to make way for an appreciative gasp at her outfit; a black satin blouse with skinny blue jeans but went back to scrunchy when he remembered his trail of thoughts.
"I want to do the thing justice, it's still fucking Broadway, man", he said and scratched the back of his neck, walking towards her as she put slim silver earrings on.
"You will honor it alright, babe and you're gonna be amazing", she said, extending one hand to grab him and pull him behind her, "I'm still bummed that I can't be at your opening night"
"I'm very very glad you can't", he huffed and earned a pointed glare from her, her lips a thin line and he smirked, leaning his head against hers as he closed his arms around her waist and looked at them in the mirror, "I'm gonna be sick with nerves just knowing that my family is there, if you were in the audience I'd probably die"
"Oh come on", she scolded and nudged his head.
"What? I just want to get into the flow of it a little better, I rather appreciate it that you're gonna see it a little later", he said, "I just want to make you proud"
"I already am proud", Lea declared, "You're amazing and you work so hard and your performance will be nothing short of amazing, I'm sure they won't wanna let you go anymore at all"
"Or they'll kick me out with rage for ruining their multimillion dollar production", he kept on going.
"You shut up", Lea ordered and leaned against his chest, studying their reflection for a while.
They looked rather perfect together like this, him in his dark blue shirt, curly black hair mingling with her soft brown, his hazel golden eyes gleaming at her, alone enough to make her melt. His hands were folded over her stomach, hers finding their way to them, entwining their fingers.
"We're okay, aren't we?", she asked looking for a final confirmation that their fight was over and done with for good.
"We are", he whispered, "I'd say we're even more than okay"
"You're right", she agreed, reluctantly weaseling out of his grip because they were getting late, "We're fabulous"
Thirty minutes later they arrived in two separate cabs – Darren had taken his after leaving her apartment five minutes earlier to walk a few blocks away from it – at a sweet, little, under-the-radar Sushi Bar in the Village. Dianna met them smoking outside and Harry joined them just as she threw away the butt. They all hugged each other, Darren and Harry sharing one of those hand-shake-one-harm-bear hugs before walking in and taking their reserved table at the back, shielded from most windows and potential curious looks from other guests.
Harry grilled Darren on Broadway and before their dinner was served, Lea had already filled Dianna in on their fight and make-up in a short and hushed conversation the men wouldn't have been able to catch if they tried.
In this setting, with the great food and animate conversation Lea had no effort to distract herself from the fact that she couldn't be closer to Darren, or ruffle his hair like she wanted to, she was content and joyous just the way the evening went. Her sushi was exquisite and they laughed heartily between bites at little memories and stories of their past year at glee.
In the end, Lea and Darren wound up actually sharing a cab after a rather clumsy act of improv theater specially for Harry about how they were both going into the same direction and they could might as well split the bill. Lea was still sure the tall guy hadn't picked up on anything as they said goodbye.
Dianna hugged her extra tight and asked her to call so they could talk a little more en detail and Lea promised to do so the next day.
Darren payed the whole taxi bill eventually even though he had the driver let him out two blocks earlier, just to be safe. She rolled her eyes slightly but let him have the extra caution if it made him happy.
He almost beat her to her front door too, meeting her by the elevators, a little red and panting.
"I had a wonderful night", she said and he smiled at her, glancing around quickly to make sure no one was coming around the corner and kissed her quickly, before taking the stairs.
Lea felt good, mindlessly smiling to herself, the scars of the day before already just a faint shadow. She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that there would need to be a time to sit herself down and decipher why she needed him so much and how good or destructive that could potentially be but at that moment she was just happy.
Happy she had Darren, happy to spend her first Christmas and New Year's with him and happy as a clam when he wrapped her in his arms that night and touched and kissed all the world around them away once more.
Author's Note: The next installment will be Christmas and then New Year's afterward. That's all I have planned out so far and we'll see what happens in the real world, to see if I can build my following chapters around that or maybe have it end after New Year's. There will definitely be a hiatus because no Learren is happening right now so I have nothing to build up on after New Year's. You should check my tumblr to be up to date on the process of this story. My URL is: jackpotgirl DOT tumblr DOT com.
Now I have a question which I would love you to answer in your review, should you be as awesome as to review: Would you like to have the Christmas chapter in Darren's POV or would you find a change in perspective weird at this point? Would you like to explore his head for a change or do you feel content in Lea's?