Author's note- Thanks for the reviews guys. Decided that I'm just going to continue the sequel inside this one. So this is the end of Part one. Part two will be up in a couple of days.

Chapter 3- Until I don't Love you Anymore

I will lie beneath the sky
'Til I don't love you anymore- Linda Eder

To clear my head I walk through the gardens of the Kuchiki compounds but it only makes it worse. My memories return to the times in Hueco Mundo and uncontrollable shivers rake through me. I hold myself watching the waterfalls only seeing the cero going through Kurosaki's body over, and over again. I force myself to head back, knowing the only cure for my horrible thoughts is to see his face and to hear his voice.

To my surprise, he's sitting on the steps. I stop just in the shadow of the moon. He's leaned back on his hands, looking up at the stars with his head thrown back. His legs spread, his body relaxed. I wonder what it is he's thinking of.

It's hard to imagine that everything that happened in that dreadful, nightmarish world was real and then to look at him now. This child, teenage boy becoming a monster of a man to defeat those creatures.

To kill Ulquiorra.

"Inoue?" My name off his lips makes me shiver and I step closer to him now.

"Just taking a walk, Kurosaki-kun." I answer his silent question. I stop when I am just a few feet from him at the bottom of the steps.

"I was wondering if the stars are the same here as they are in our world. I never looked."

I look up too. I hadn't thought about it either.

My thoughts aren't on the stars though no matter how long I stare at them. It's on the battle fought with the emotionless Espada that I couldn't comprehend. Ulquiorra's words effect me constantly and his search for understanding. The way the Espada played with Ichigo's feelings. Wondering as I wondered why he went so far to get me back. They couldn't grasp human friendship.

Friendship. Ichigo's friendship is something to cherish.

"The moon," I whisper. "It's the same as it was in Las Noches." My body tightens upon remembrance. 'Watch man to whom you entrusted all your hope is about to die.'

"Is it?" He breaks into my turmoil. "I don't remember the moon."

Along with the never-ending night, the barren wasteland, Kurosaki's dead body and liveless eyes and the hollow that over came his body, the moon is far from my memories. And the Espada that wanted desperately to become a man. I could never forget him either.

"He was one man I wish I hadn't had to fight." I hear him whisper. "The Espada. They all seem," He hesitates to say it but I know what he thinks.

"Like lost children."

He catches my eyes. I had met too many not to know. Every single one of them had a sad story behind them and I wonder what life had been like if someone had just taken the time out to care for them. If they had had at least one friend in their life, perhaps things would have gone differently for them. "Ulquiorra was different. He wanted to understand me."

Ichigo grins now and throws his head back up to look at the stars, his leg wobbles in rhythm, "I think he was in love with you or something."

It's a playful remark. One I'm not use to. Perhaps even, if I pretend, I could sense a bit of jealousy in his tone. "He was confused." I go on to explain, trying to overthrow my delusion. "He didn't know why you came so far for me. And I couldn't explain it because I didn't know why either."

There is a stiffness in his body now that wasn't there before and the leg that was mindlessly moving stops short. He snaps his head up at me with knitted brows and there is hurt upon his brow. "You're my friend. Of course I'd save you. You think I'd let you die?"

"I let you die." The response tenses in my throat and even as I say it, tears prick on my eyes. "Ulquiorra shot a cero through your chest. And I was there and I could do nothing to stop it." My body quakes and all the pain that I've withheld since that nightmare of a day releases down my cheeks. I hold myself and I cup my mouth to keep the sobs from escaping my lips. It's so terrible that I'm allowing him to see this pitiful display but there is something that I've needed from him since that atrocious day.

Forgiveness.

It takes so long before his hand reaches out for me. By then I'm ready to collapse. I take it and fall upon the step between his legs, dropping unceremoniously against his chest. For so long I've held myself back from ever touching him because I never wanted to cross any boundaries or lines between us. I never wanted to shame or embarrass myself. But since I plan on having my final say tonight I don't care anymore.

Even as I lay against him crying, I shutter against his touch. He rests his hands upon my shoulders, a place a friend unsure of how to comfort might put. His check is against the top of my head. The smell of him is what I've only caught wisps of. Now I take deep breaths to calm my 'weeping'. The texture of his body so hard and compact but when he relaxes I fit perfectly against him. I love it here.

"I'm sorry, Inoue."

My eyes shoot open wide.

Here I am indulging in this moment of finally being in his arms, and he's suffering over my words. I've hurt him and I'm completely ignorant of it. It's not as if I hadn't meant them but being in his arms, it had just slipped my mind.

I pull away to punish myself, "No, No, Kuroski-kun. It was my fault. I need you to forgive me."

"Forgive you?" He questions as if it's absurd.

"I could have done more. I should have trained more. I shouldn't have gone in the first place. I went to protect you and instead you got killed because of me. It was all my fault. I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I just wanted you to be safe."

He doesn't respond at first. The position we are in is awkward and to any on-looker I'm sure we would appear as lovers. I'm weirdly placed between his legs with my elbows resting on his thighs. Considering though that most of the time Kurosaki is nearly two feet taller than me I say we are almost even so my head isn't tilted back in a painful position. His hands have fallen behind him again, holding himself up so he didn't strain his back. It was a nice couple position. If we were actually a couple.

"That's why you left. To save me?"

"Why else?" Would I get a better chance? Keep going, you fool. "I love you, Kurosaki-kun."

The words that had been so utterly hard to say before came out so easy and now I can't believe I had made such a big deal about them. I want to say them again and again and never stop but I want to hear what he has to say.

I'm met again by silence as he takes it in. I don't know what he's think because his eyes are in shadows staring down between us.

It's hard for him to start to speak, "You're one of my best friends-"

"No," I cut him off desperately. "Not like that. I love you more than that. More than anything, Kurosaki-kun." My cheeks beam red because I know he can feel the tremble of my body. I must appear so weak right now but I don't care. I said it and I couldn't be happier.

His silence only makes me wish to further my point. What I wanted to do when I had left him before Aizen. To kiss him. I couldn't do it while he had slept because I wanted him to want it too. It wouldn't have been fair otherwise.

My hand lifts, shaking as it is. It rests against his cheek and finally his eyes lift to mine. "I love you." I whisper again because just the sound of it strengthens me. I lean in, not wanting to close my eyes but doing so out of instinct and knowing that our lips are just centimeters away from touching. My breath stops, my heart beats frantically and I wonder if...

...this is the moment where he turns away from me and my whole world is shattered.

Turn me away, Ichigo. You're in love with Rukia. So stop this. Break my heart swiftly and quickly. Just walk away and don't look back as I crumble. Do me that honor. I won't hate you. I can't hate you. I love you too much to hate you. Don't feel sorry for me. I knew a long time ago that Rukia was the one for you. I have been living off foolish dreams. So don't even apologize. Because it's not your fault.

Then our lips touch.

"Ukitake-taichou, is it necessary?"

"You know him better than any of us, Rukia-san." He speaks with a pleasant smile but somehow I believe my brother has gotten to him.

For the past hundred years of my life, my brother hasn't taken any interest in my life but the moment Ichigo comes in he suddenly seems interested in everything. And since I lost Kaien, Ukitake has been smitten with finding someone else to keep my mind occupied.

"As you know, Ukitake-taichou, I plan on getting married shortly."

"Yes, Yes. I apologize for giving you such an important mission in lue of your wedding but I'm afriad you're the only one Ichigo listens too. I have a feeling he'll fight this more than anything else. I know I would, if I was losing my reiatsu."

My eyes drop. Must they use that against me? I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about what pain Ichigo will have to endure. I don't want to know how much suffering he will experience. Not being there had been my intention. A pathetic cop-out.

Now they are forcing me to. I would be lying, though if I said I wasn't thankful.

I bow my head, fighting no more. "As you wish, Ukitake-Taichou."

What will Renji say when I tell him? Will he look at me with eyes of understanding? Or will it be distrustful or even contemptuous? So early in the beginning will he start to resent me for my feelings toward Ichigo?

I know I must go to him first. I owe him so much that hearing it from anyone else is unacceptable. I find him on the training grounds and call him over. He doesn't smile in greeting. Ever since yesterday he has stopped smiling altogether. "They have given me a mission. I will go with Ichigo and watch over him until he loses his reiatsu."

His eyes drop to the ground. I look away. That's not at all what I wanted. I want to know what he's feeling. I want to know if it's anger, if its hatred, if it's sadness. I won't be able to do anything about it but at least then I won't be so disconnected from him.

"Why?" He questions.

"So he doesn't get himself killed."

He shrugs. "Anyone can do it."

He fights it like a child. At least it lets me in on a little of what he's feeling. I strengthen my back. "That is my mission."

He sticks his hand in his pockets and throws his head back with aggravation finally catching my eye, glaring, "How long?"

"I don't know."

"Fine." That is how he leaves me. I stare after him but he doesn't look back. He joins his friends who he smiles for and I can even hear him laugh. I wonder how long it will be until I can make him laugh again.

By the time I get back to my compound Ichigo and the others are ready to head out. There is nothing that I need because I have stuff still at Ichigo's house. He sees me and I smile. He reciprocates it but it's weak. He knows his fake happiness doesn't work with me but he tries anyway.

Will we talk about Renji and I? Probably not. Ichigo and I don't really talk about much. We fight about stupid things, 'beating around the bush' as humans say, until it escalates to violence and all our anger finally escapes.

But we don't talk.

Yet I feel this is something that won't be fixed easily and it is something that will alter our friendship if it is left unattended. Then again, I could just be making a big deal about it over nothing. I tend to do that sometimes.

Inoue steps up to me before I make it to his side, "Kuchiki-san."

"Inoue." I greet forcing a smile.

She bows her head, perhaps finally feeling bad about what she said to me the other day. "I want to say, umm. Congratulations. And I would like to be there for your wedding. If that's okay."

I nod, "I would like that." Patching up our friendship would make me happy. Inoue is a wonderful person. It's not her fault we both love the same man. She beams at me and turns to Ichigo who is standing by waiting for his turn to say goodbye. She blushes for some reason before taking her leave.

With his hands in his pockets he ventures up to me, refusing to meet my eyes. "You're not getting rid of me yet." I hurry out to stop any sickening sad moments. His gaze fastens to mine. "Ukitake-san wants me to go to the human world for a short mission. So I'll be leaving with you."

Instantly a sarcastic remark leaves his lips, "Going to mooch off my family some more?"

"Your family loves me. More than they love you."

He makes an exasperated sound through his nose and goes on some rant that I don't pay attention too.

I get to be with him for a little while longer. I swear after that, I'll leave him then.

Forever.

End of Part 1. Part 2 Will be up in a couple of days. Thanks for your reviews guys.