Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.
FlamedraSeer7213: Hello! Didja miss me?
Pom-Pom: -flatly- Not much.
FlamedraSeer7213: What happened to you!? You look terrible and… squished…
Pom-Pom: If you must know, I got run over by a Pink Rolly Chair today.
FlamedraSeer7213: A WHAT!?
Pom-Pom: -grits teeth and repeats the sentence- A Pink Rolly Chair.
FlamedraSeer7213: Are-Are you okay?
Pom-Pom: -glares- Yes
FlamedraSeer7213: Cheer up; you're starting to sound like Sasuke.
Pom-Pom: Hn.
FlamedraSeer7213: Sasuke wanna-be!
Pom-Pom: -pulsing vein-
FlamedraSeer7213: Whatever, onward with the fic!!
Pom-Pom: I AM NOT A SASUKE WANNA-BE!!
FlamedraSeer7213: Yes you are so NYAH!
Pom-Pom: …Hn.
FlamedraSeer7213: -snickers-
Merridaine: I do such evil things to people sometimes.
disownedbunny: Gee, thanks.
UrTrOuBleSoMe90: Heh, heh?
rainingblood666: I know it does, but yes I do try and make sense sometimes.
FinalFanasyFreak1234: Thanks!
KaIKaI01: I haven't had a cookie for so long! –shot- Okay maybe I had one today…
Shadowkeeper113: I know I said that!! It's just so addicting… Your stories are too!!
Kenya: Tee hee
Stara Slashtail: OMG! Don't explode!! I don't have any paramedics nearby!!
"The third symptom is…" Sasuke could barely hear what the doctor had said over the pounding of his heart. "The urge –explicit- your female partner." Sasuke nearly threw himself out the window after she said that. Sakura blushed. The doctor stared at them as if they were crazy.
"Well then, Uchiha, we should stay in this fine village tonight, shall we?" Sakura asked Sasuke. Sasuke glared at her from the floor. "If I could move again, I would be stomping my foot on the floor madly."
"You don't have a choice Minor-Boy."
"STOP CALLING ME MINOR-BOY!!"
Sakura tried to smack her hand on his mouth, but ended up smacking his eyes, causing him to snarl in pain.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?"
"You're in no position to talk."
"You just smacked me in the eyes!"
"…"
"Ha! Can't say anything now can we!?"
"…Shut up Uchiha."
"Ha! You can't- OW! Release me!! PAIN! EAR!! OW!!"
Sakura grabbed him by his ear and started dragging him to the nearest inn. She slammed her fist down the bell, so hard that she smashed it. The innkeeper raised his eyebrow at her. "Yes, how may I help you?"
In The Inn
"No Sakura! You are not going to-YAAAAAARRRGHH!!" Sakura threw Sasuke at one of the two beds in the room. Luckily for Sasuke, she didn't miss and he landed on the bed, facedown. "Sakuwa… Thrn me awound!! I-I ca't breethe!!" He mumbled into the linen sheets.
Silence…
"Sakuwa? Din youu nof heaf me!? I ca't breethf!!" Once again there was not response. "Oh fufk…" Sasuke mumbled, before passing out with exhaustion.
Sakura was not in the inn, but outside, walking the streets, in deep thought. "I thought… that I didn't like him anymore…" She narrowed her eyes. "Why did my heart skip a beat in the forest…?"
Flashback
"Haruno! My-My foot! It's not listening to me!!" Sasuke yelled from the forest floor, after falling from the branches.
Sakura jumped down from the branches and looked at the Uchiha lying on the floor, holding his leg for all it's worth. "Does it hurt?" She asked; a hint of concern in her voice.
Sasuke shook his head, "No, it's just… completely… numb… I can't feel anything all." Sakura frowned and picked up his foot. "Try moving it." Sasuke attempted to. Nothing happened.
"I think that Senbon was poisoned." He remarked, frowning when his foot didn't move again. She snorted and started walking away. Desperately, Sasuke held out his hand. "Wait! Wait! Sakura, I need you!!"
Sakura turned around, "Wha-What did you say?" Sasuke turned a bit pink, "I mean, I need your help…"
End Flashback
She shook her head, "No, he needed me to help him up, nothing else!! No, nothing else." Her face paled with horror as a voice that she thought she had gotten rid up popped up.
And how can you be so sure about that?
She narrowed her eyes again.
You! What are you doing here!? I thought I got rid of you!!
Eh, I was tired, so I went to sleep.
For five freaking years!?
Hey, the bed was nice and soft!!
…Whatever…
You still like Sasuke-kun!!
I stopped using that name years ago… where were you?
One word, BED
…That seems slightly reasonable…
You're still in love with Sasuke-kun!
Didn't I tell you-?
You are!!
How did you cut me off!?
Nyah!
…
You sound like you've picked up a couple of Sasuke-kun's traits! Staying silent, have you mastered the weird wind that blows whenever Sasuke-kun is standing alone?
Shut up.
You can't tell yourself to shut up!
Yes, and I just did. You sound like you've picked up his slowness!
Are you insulting him? Inner Self or not, I will get angry at you!
…Wha-What!?
THE POINT IS-!
Do you have to scream so damn loud? I can hear you!!
Testy, testy. Fine, the point is, you still like Sas- er… Uchiha-san!
…Hn
Are you using his word now? You do sound like him!!
I'm shutting you off now.
WHAT!? You can't do that! I'm y-!
Sakura shut out Inner Sakura without letting her finish what she was saying. She sighed and decided to head back to the inn.
Back At The… Inn of Course
Sakura walked to the door and was about to open it, when she heard Uchiha screaming at the top of his lungs.
"MOVE SQUIRREL!! MOVE!! LEFT! NO THAT'S RIGHT! RIGHT! NO THAT'S LEFT!! OMG! DOOR! DOOR!!" There was a loud slam as Sasuke hit the door. Sakura knocked on the door, ever so gently. "Uchiha? Are you okay?"
There was a pause and Sasuke answered. "Yes, I'm very peachy, how are you?" "…" Sakura decided to stay quiet. "No, I'm not okay, I can't move my body, the squirrel was supposed to roll me to the bathroom and my face is now, quite squished."
"Could you attempt to get your squirrel to roll you away from the door? I need to take a shower and make something to eat." There was another pause, and then Sasuke answered smugly. "Only if you can give me a sponge bath."
There seems to be a lot of silence going on. Finally Sakura gave a sigh. "Okay, fine Minor-Boy. But what happens in the sponge bath; STAYS in the sponge bath!!" "Okay, just hold on. OY! SQUIRREL! THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!"
After Ten Minutes
Sakura finally got inside and put Sasuke on the bed again. She pointed at him. "Okay, get this straight Minor-Boy. Your poison has three symptoms. This is the first one. The second one, I WILL treat when it comes. The third one… I will tie you down to the bed."
Sasuke tried to nod, but ended up smashing his forehead into the floor. He tried to move his arm, but no such success. He sighed sadly and replied. "Hn."
Sakura crossed her arms. "What does 'Hn' mean Uchiha?" He turned his head. "Hn means Hn. There, simple." Sakura belted him in the head. Once again Sasuke tried to move his hand, and once again there was no such success.
"This Hn means yes. Okay Haruno!? Now, thanks to you, I see two of you!!" She waved her hand. "Eh, it's nothing."
Sasuke was speechless for a minute, but then turned his head and said acidly. "Fine! If I die because of you, I'm going to send you a card to my funeral. Do you know what it's going to say!? It's going to say, "IT'S YOUR FAULT" in big red letters!!"
Once again, she shrugged and waved her hand. Sasuke sighed. "Shikamaru was right, woman are troublesome."
In Konoha, a certain black haired person sneezed and went back to watching the clouds.
Sakura crawled in front of him and let out a very loud, "HN!" Sasuke blinked with surprise and then narrowed his eyes. "Hn." he replied, in a challenging voice.
"Hn."
"Hn."
"HN!"
"Hn!"
"Hn."
"Hn."
"Hn!!"
"Hn."
Thus began the furious exchanges of "Hn". Sakura sounded angry. Sasuke sounded nonchalant. Sakura sounded nonchalant. Sasuke sounded angry. The weird thing was, they could actually understand each other.
Two Hours Later
"Hn."
"Hn!"
"Hn."
"Hn… Oh, could we stop, this is ridiculous!"
Sasuke smirked, "Then I win." Sakura sighed. "Fine, you win." Sasuke tried to punch the air with his fist. His arm twitched. She stood up and stretched, getting rid of the kinks in her spine, and Sasuke took this opportunity to check her out.
Starting at her head, his perverted smirk grew larger and larger and he moved down. One word flashed through his head which was now filled with … things. "MINE… mine!!"
Sakura blinked at the drooling Uchiha who was currently gawking at her breasts. She crossed her arms angrily. "Just what do you think you are doing!?" Sasuke blushed and gave a small "Tch" of annoyance.
"Aa, I'm going to take that shower now." She stood up again and started heading towards the bathroom. "MY SPONGE BATH!!" Sasuke demanded, wishing that he could slam his fist into the ground.
She came out, holding a comb and pointed at Sasuke. "Patience is a virtue Minor-Boy."
"I AM NOT MINOR-BOY!!"
"If you're not Minor-Boy, then you're Hentai-Boy you ecchi!"