Thanks guys for the reviews and Liz for the misspelling of the title ;).

This is kind of short, sorry but the next chapter is pretty long so I think i made up for it.

Part 2

Chapter 1- My Life Inside Your Heart

I know you hurt

But I can help you if you can

Take my hand

And we'll live inside the dreams we left behind – Rise Against

Blaring my music is the only thing that keeps me sane. Kon scampers along the floor putting away my clothes that have been on the floor the past couple of days, talking to Rukia in his irritating nasally voice of his while she pretends to listen. I act like I'm concentrating on my math work sitting on my bed, with my back against the wall. It's a position I've taken time and time again over the course of several months in front of the closet, using my thighs as my desk while facing Rukia. She uses her own legs to work on some stupid drawing, leaning over it, her hair tucked up tight around her ear as she scribbles away. Every now and then she gives a "Oh?" And a "Uh huh." to Kon but I can't hear it, I only know this by the so many days of routine.

Over come by a sudden need to be annoying I remove an earpiece, "What dumb thing are you drawing now?"

A glaring eye peaks up at me, "I'm not showing you." She bites back.

"Well, why not?" I fight though I should be thankful. The hideousness of her drawings are sometimes frightful.

"Because," She thinks of a good way to hurt me and then smiles triumphantly, "it's for Kon."

Kon screams in delight but my temper rages at the thought and I throw my math book on the bed and jump to my feet. "For that stuff-animal, are you kidding me! He's not worth the cotton that fills him!"

Kon trying to hug her as she leaps from the closet only manages to get stepped on, "Least he can clean up after himself! You can't even do your own laundry!"

"It's a girl's job"

She balls a fist and goes to hit me. I'm surprised she stopped because I prepared to block her hit. Guess that's why I didn't sense her heal pounding my toes. "It's a girl's job to beat the crab out of a stupid boy!" She pushes me in my curled position as I tend to my injured foot and I fall onto my bed but I grab a hold of myself as I race after her. She goes out the door and down the hallway.

"I've got other things to do than put stupid clothes away!" Yuzu opens the door to her bedroom but I ignore the call of my name.

We stumble down the steps and pass through the kitchen where Karin sits watching TV and eating a late night snack.

"Always excuses! You're so full of excuses!" She hollers back whipping on her coat and slipping her boots on.

Then the door slams and I don't follow after her.

"Nii-san?" Karin questions. "What's the matter with Rukia?"

What do I say?

Rukia is going to marry someone else but we can't talk about it so what we do is argue about stupid little things in placement of that to help deal with it because she knows I'm in love with her and she's not in love with me?

"I didn't put away the laundry."

"You should you know."

I shrug. "Don't tell me what to do. Go to bed. It's past your bedtime."

I hear Karin leave, grumbling. I turn back to the door. I should go after her. Why did Rukia leave? We always argue. Why can't we argue? It's better if we argue. How can she run away from me? Can't she even face me? Is she mad at me?

I don't mean to love her. It's not like I want to. I've tried to stop. I've done all I can to stop. But no matter what I've done nothing has made it go away. Even knowing she'll marry Renji, I can't make it stop.

My back hits the wall. I owe Rukia everything and all she wants from me is friendship. If I don't stop this, I'll destroy what she and I have. What a way to pay someone back. What kind of person am I?

The door opens and my heart frantically jumps as I stand straight with widened eyes.

Only to find my father there with a smile on his lips, "Ichigo, greeting me with such a loving gaze-"

"Shut it, old man." Stuffing my hands in my pockets, I start to head back to my room.

"Won't you even share a meal with me?"

"Hell no."

"Will you explain what had Rukia so upset?" My body tightens at the bottom of the stairs.

Putting my foot on a stair I reply, " I didn't put away the laundry." I hurry to leave but my father rushes his words.

"You're mother was human."

I lean back against the bannister. So what, I want to reply. I'm not human. Not completely. Not yet. I still have my reiatsu. It's not gone from me, not all of it. My hands clench in my pockets.

"And I was a Shinigami. We made it work. And so can you."

I scoff and turn away, bounding up the steps. Stupid old man. He didn't get it. Yea, it could work, that's probably true. If you're a nobody Shinigami and a nobody human and Central 46 didn't have you locked on target. And it could probably work if you both loved each other enough to make it work. But too bad everyone in Soul Society knew exactly who I was and too bad Rukia didn't love me.

Going back into my room, Kon made damn well to make me realize why having Rukia around was so much nicer then not. He bothered me instead. My hand was down his throat all too soon and even his growling and cursing didn't stop me. I felt bad about it but at least it was quiet when it was over and his body lay still with the bead beside it. I dropped upon my bed and flung an arm over my face wondering how long she'll stay away.

The phone rang then and my hand dropped on nearly breaking it in the process just to make it shut up. On the screen Inoue's name and a dancing bear came on.

My hand dropped to my chest as I stared up at the wall for minute then quickly I flipped it open and put it to my ear. "Ah."

"Kurosaki-kun. I wanted to remind you about the test we have in Hoshi's class tomorrow. It's on Chapter's Twenty-five through thirty three."

I smile in spite of myself, "Thanks, Inoue."

It's silent for a moment. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm actually about to go to sleep."

"Oh! Sorry!"

"It's okay. I'm just tired. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Okay. Good night, Kurosaki-kun."

"Good night. Inoue."

The phone falls from my fingertips and on to the floor. Guilt swallows me whole and I turn from the closet and face the wall.

When I'm so in love with Rukia, why did I allow Inoue to kiss me?

I don't know. I don't freaking know.

I think about the kiss and the only thing I can think of is sex. Stupid teenage hormonal sexual drive and there stupid ridiculousness. She's beautiful. She kisses amazingly. And when her breasts were pushed up against me I wanted nothing more than more of her.

Even thinking of it now, I want her. But for nothing other than what it would be.

Then guilt fills my belly and a wave of sickness makes me want to gag. Inoue confessed her love. She's in love with me. I took advantage of it because I was feeling sorry for myself. Rukia doesn't love me but at least someone out there does. She's in as much pain as I am in. She understands what I'm going through. I could learn to love Inoue. With time. It wouldn't be fair but what in this world is fair?

I sound like a monster, don't I? I feel like one. I wonder if that hollow inside me is fucking me up worse than what I already am? Or maybe I'm just a typical teenage boy who just needs to get laid.

It's tiring, just watching him. When she's around he's upbeat and normal, when she's gone, he's downcast and depressed. He switches back and forth like it's easy and I know better. It's taxing. I can see it. Why doesn't she just leave? She going to leave anyway so why doesn't she do it now? What is she waiting for?

She's on a mission I know. I shouldn't be insulting her. Rukia isn't doing it on purpose. But how long does she think Ichigo can go on like this?

When she leaves, I can help him. He'll let me in. Last time I was too afraid to try but this time, after the kiss we shared, I'm not afraid anymore. Even if he tries to push me away, I'm going to fight. I'm going to pick up the pieces and I'm going to stay with him day and night until his broken heart is glued back together.

I know he's in love with her. He may not understand why he kissed me but I do. There's a part of him that likes me. We're best friends and we can develop that friendship into something more if given the chance. So all I need is for Rukia to finally disappear.

I sound mean, don't I?

My feelings this past week have been ripped into shreds. I thought once we left Soul Society, Ichigo and I could start something together. My dreams took me farther than I should have let them. Rukia had not been in those said dreams.

In school it's wonderful. He catches my eyes all the time. He'll stand next to me when our friends are around, defend me at any given chance, more than once our hands or our shoulders will brush against another. Those are the moments I hold onto and try to keep in mind because when Rukia comes into the picture, I simply stop existing.

At times, I think it's just my depression and self-doubt getting the best of me. Then Tatsuki comes stomping over to my desk kicking at the air and cursing so badly it makes me blush. "Who does that bastard think he is!" She screams, trying to whisper.

I hang my head. It's not something I really need to hear but it's something she constantly wants to talk about. I go to speak but she cuts me off as per usual.

She cracks her knuckles. "I think it's time he needs to remember my little warning."

I panic and grab her wrist, "Tatsuki-chan, no." Surprised she looks down at me with wide eyes. I smile for her, "It's okay."

Tatsuki pities me and sits beside me, holding my hand, "Orihime, you don't deserve to be treated like this. You guys were just in the middle of a conversation and he saw her and he just took off. It's either her or you, it's not both."

"Then it's her." She looks shocked at that but I could only smile. "I've waited a long time. I can wait a while more. But it's still her. It might always be her. I've taken that into consideration and I've decided to accept that. I love him, Tatsuki-chan."

She doesn't seem to like that and whatever she has to say after which I don't pay attention to. I've already made up my mind. Rukia is his first love and perhaps his soul mate. I will always be second choice. I've decided it's good enough for me. As long as I can be with him.

After the kiss, the way he stutter and stumbled trying to get away, apologizing like a typical virgin teenager I couldn't help giggling at him. I was his first kiss. Do you know how amazing that is? I got to be his first kiss. Rukia can be his first love, fine, but what does that mean, how does that compare to a first kiss. I will always be what he compares all other kisses too. And if he ever kisses Rukia, guess what? For at least a fraction of a moment, he will think of me.

I have gotten farther than I ever thought I would because I haven't given up yet. And I won't. Even with her around, I will not give up on Ichigo. I will chase after him until the ends of the earth if I must. I have told him I loved him. I have gotten a kiss from him. Now the next step, is a date.

I bite my lip in thought. I will have to be pushy. I don't like it. It's not who I am. But I'm young, time changes us all.