Disclaimer: All JR's –as always, she deserved the credit, not me. ^^
Rating: Pffft, no idea. It's slash-ish. I'm just gonna say mature, just in case!
A.N: I loved writing about the greenhouses in this. I will try to bring them back here at some point.
Warnings: Slash. Depression. Un-betaed work, haha! Just, generally not for easily offended eyes.
Beta: Recently beta-ed by the wonderful moonlight—kiss (tumblr name) Thank you!
3.
The next day when Severus took them to the greenhouses, he showed Harry around the more lethal plants before settling him down near the herb garden. Here Severus could get some work done and not worry about Harry getting swallowed by a Tubular Mite or a Smiling Tulip when he wasn't watching.
"Did you see any plants you like, Harry? We could put one in our room."
"Are there any Walking Ivies here?"
"Ah, no. They get a little vicious if you indulge them too much."
"Oh."
"I do have some Sleeping Ivy. It wanders around too, but keeps its feet in its pot."
Harry smiled slightly. "Yes. That would do."
Severus carried Harry and their lunch basket to some herbaceous grass. It smelt like Basil, but purred slightly when you passed your fingers through it. Harry enjoyed stroking it more than he enjoyed the food, but he did pick at a sandwich without any prompting from Severus. It was a silent affair, but much of Severus's life had been so. It was ironic that having Harry there was the loudest his house had ever been.
"I don't know how to say thank you." The words were quiet, but still wonderful; especially as the first set that Harry had decided to come up with himself.
"You don't need to; all I need from you is to get better."
Harry nodded slightly, small rapid movements, and then started to cry. First, silent tears fell, which he tried to rub away, but then he was suddenly sobbing and gasping. Severus pushed away their lunch and hugged the boy. Harry collapsing into the man in return, gripping the cloaked figure and crying into the soft material.
It hurt, acknowledging he was hurt. Coasting along in detachment was okay because if you're not really there, you don't remember anything. He thought he'd just come back a little bit, tell Severus that he was grateful, and fade away again. It didn't work. Now he felt betrayal and sadness crawling up his stomach. It clutched at his heart and built up like a stone in his throat, chills running like ice from his breath down through his blood. Harry felt heavy. The weight of what he was attempting to confront crushing his frail defenses. He collapsed further into Severus' arms. "Why does it make me feel so cold?"
Severus knew this was catharsis. He could feel the repressed emotion rolling off of Harry in waves. The small frame was shaking violently in his arms as large sobs tore from the vulnerable body. It was horrific to bear, but alas a glance of Harry's recovery. Emotion this deep would hopefully root the young saviour to the present.
Severus took Harry back inside, forcing some cooling water down the rasping throat that had now stopped sobbing but instead gasping for air. Sleep was now needed, sleep that would help heal and repair Harry. Severus wasn't naive; this sudden awakening would at first do more harm than good. Harry would be facing what he buried away as it was deemed too horrid to face. He would survive though; he'd survive if it was the last thing Severus managed to accomplish.
Harry was there, just reclusive. The only times Severus was sure that the small brunette wasn't reliving his memories was when he read. Byron placated the boy, allowed him to find peace. Severus was still yet to conclude why, but it worked.
It wasn't always bad. One morning Harry told him he enjoyed gravy soaked into mash potato. They had been eating it ever since. The best part was the subtle smile Harry gave him when Severus announced his pleasure in knowing so. Severus had never been one for praise and affection, but he could see it doing wonders for Harry.
"I don't like meat very much," Harry murmured over his meal. It was lamb with their dish of choice: potato and gravy. Severus cast an enquiring look over at Harry's frame.
"One could see. Did you ever make the effort to find the proteins elsewhere?"
Harry shook his head, while purposely pushing the cooked flesh to the edge of his plate.
"There are many replacements; nuts are a brilliant source... I could even venture to muggle London to see if they have any alternatives...?"
"No!" Fear shot up Harry's spine, Severus was going to leave him?
"No? You don't want to try alternatives? Perhaps I could just find a meat you enjo-"
"No, I mean... Don't go."
Severus nodded, "Of course, we will make do with my larder... It's always more exciting to cook from scratch anyway. Especially now I have someone to feed my concoctions to." Harry smiled tentatively at this. Good. Fear avoided. Harry had become clingier of late. Since he began to openly register his surroundings, he made a point of keeping Severus in them at all times. When the rigid potions master sat close enough, Harry even went as far to clutch hold of his robes.
All of this, the good and the bad, was promising for Harry's recovery. What wasn't was his trembling. Harry had still not been able to keep warm, relying on charms and cloaks to keep at a reasonable temperature. And even then, Severus could see the small boy shaking from the cold. At first it was worrying, then it was concerning... Now it was terrifying. Severus had little choice than to face what was staring in front of him. Harry had been cursed with Deamoninterror.
It shouldn't have been surprising. The few cases recorded (and there had been only a few cases, as only few Dementors actually existed) had all bred from innocents that had been forced to bare the Dementor's breath. Harry had also carried out the tasks needed to cursed. Killed a human soul – no matter how evil, Voldemort was still human, and still possessed a soul – betrayed by his familiars; there was barely a mind in Britain that couldn't be accused of that. And, unfortunately, he had nothing to hold onto... No family, no close friends. No loved one, the only person Harry had was Severus...
He'd have to tell Harry, it was what the boy deserved. The young saviour had been kept in the dark even when he was the one who was expected to prevail. It would be unjust for Severus, whom he hoped Harry trusted, to also hold back such vital information.
A.N: Yes.. I made up a curse. I've decided that that is how Dementors exist. ^^. OH, and you ask how someone can kill a human soul AND be innocent to bare a Dementors breath? Well that's the point.. It's so rare that not many people get it!