Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, un.
FlamedraSeer7213: I will be attempting drunken speak again!!
Pom-Pom: What she said…
Too lazy to write anything for reviews, so thank you anyone who reviewed!
Sasuke had managed to run all the way to the hidden stone village. "I'm hungry…" Sakura complained, rubbing her growling stomach. Not wanting to argue, Sasuke walked to the nearest restaurant, which just happened to say "Bob's Town Bar and Grill".
Two figures swaggered out of the village's bar, more drunk than they were before.
"Aww man you da best!!" Sakura patted Sasuke's back heartily. Sasuke shook his head rapidly. "Na, man, you da best!" He replied, attempting to walk. An adult noticed them and shook her head scornfully. "Drunkards…" She had mumbled, getting the same responses from the two, "Heeye! I'm nosh drunkosh!"
Both of them settled down on a curb. "Peep." Sakura peeped. "Peeppeep." Sasuke peeped back. "I can peep better than you!" Sakura challenged. Sasuke shook his head.
"You can't peep better than me. I won the nashunal peeping contust!"
"Wha nashunal peeping contust?"
"… I dososh know…"
"Yea, wha wash we talking bout?"
"I tink it wash weashals!"
"Oh like youse bruthor!"
"Oh yea! Like Itashi! I forgosh about tat…"
"You idijit! Itashi is youse bruthor!"
"Whaeva…"
"Hey… do you know what Itashi makes me tink of?" Sasuke asked, slightly sober now. Sakura shook her head. "No wha?" "Weasels."
"Weasel? Haha! That's a funny word!" THUNK. Sakura blinked and looked at her friend, who was now face down in the pavement and hey was that BLOOD!?
In The Hospital
"How's my teammate!?" The pink haired Kunoichi had pinned one of the nurses to the wall and demanded to see her teammate. "Sakura, put her down, you're scaring her." She whipped around to see an irked Sasuke with a large white bandage wrapped around his forehead.
"Sasuke! Are you all right!? Does it hurt!? I'm sorry! I'm really extremely so-!" Sasuke silenced her with his patented death glare. "Let's go." He gruffly mumbled and grabbed her arm and started dragging her out of the hospital.
"Uchiha." Sasuke kept his death grip on her arm and continued walking. "Uchiha!" No response. "Uchiha Sasuke!" He sighed and turned around. "What?" He asked impatiently. "Would you tell me what's bothering you? Why the hell did you bolt out of the hospital!?" He glared at her. "That is none of your business." Sakura managed to pull her wrist out of his grip, much to the surprise of the younger Uchiha, and replied harshly, prodding his chest with every word.
"Yes it is ahou! (idiot/moron) You, Uchiha Sasuke, are my partner on this mission. It is my responsibility to make sure you are okay, both physically and mentally!" Sasuke looked stunned by her actions. "You got it!?" He let out an unintelligible mumble. "Good, now, tell me what happened to make you so mad."
"I guess they did all the standard stuff for wounds, cleaned it and wrapped it up." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Then they decided to have some fun, thinking I was out and all." "What did they do?" He straightened his lips into a thin line and continued. "They stuck a thermometer up my ass."
"Pfft!" Sakura's cheeks had puffed up in a vain attempt to keep her laughter in check. Sasuke reddened with both anger and embarrassment. "Sh-Shut up! Why do you laugh at my pain!?" He snarled. "It's FUNNY!" He sulked, "Sadistic…"
Rumble.
Both Sasuke and Sakura frowned. "Rumble?"
Rumbling and the sound of stamping feet.
"Oh shit…" Sasuke mumbled under his breath.
Squeals
Slowly both of them turned around to face possibly the worse force in the entire world.
FAN GIRLS FROM THE PREVIOUS VILLAGE
"SASUKE-KUN!!" Sasuke grabbed Sakura and started running towards the nearest inn. "SHIT! CRAP! DAMMIT!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE INNS IN THIS TOWN!?" He cursed in his mind, while his eyes frantically swept the street looking for an inn. "I'm going to get glomping, kissed, hugged, and possibly even raped if I don't find a- INN! Yes! Creator of tomatoes I kiss your feet! Or whatever helps you walk!" He kicked open the door and started ringing the bell multiple times.
"Yes, can I help you sir, or are you just here to break my bell?" The innkeeper was tapping his foot impatiently. "A room with two beds please!" Both of them demanded. The man frowned. "We only have one more room, and there's only one bed." A huge brick fell on them. "Only one…" Sakura thought, "BED!?" Sasuke also thought. He dragged Sakura over to a corner and they whispered furiously to each other.
"This is the only way!" "What if the fan girls-" "Shhh! We have to do this! Maybe then they would stop bothering us." "You know very well that they will not." "Yes!" No." "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "Won't they find it suspicious that we're arguing one minute and then happy like a married couple the next?" "No! They are dense!" "You were a fan girl yourself once. Are you implying that you were dumb?" "Yes! Yes am I!!" "…" "Hmm? You alive?" "…very well. We'll accept this room."
They ran back to the innkeeper and slammed their hands on the bell. "Yes?" He asked impatiently, eying the now broken bell. "We'll take it!" Both of them said firmly. The innkeeper turned over the key to them and started weeping over his smashed bell.
In The Inn Room
Tap. Sasuke tensed up. Tap. He narrowed his eyes into narrow slits. Tap. He clenched his teeth. Tap. Sasuke started shaking with rage. Taptap. Sasuke turned around to face Sakura. "Would you stop that extremely annoying tapping!?" The tapping stopped and Sasuke turned around. There was silence before.
TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP. "AUUUUGGGGHH!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT TAPPING I AM GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND STICK IT ON A POLE!!"
Nighttime
"Come on! We agreed on this!" Sasuke whined. "No, you'll rape me in my sleep." Sakura replied firmly. "Sakura-chan…" He whimpered for probably the first time in his life.
She crossed her arms and glared at him. "N-O means no Uchiha." Sasuke sighed and got up. "I guess I'm going to have to use this…" He pulled open the shades. "How do you expect to get rid of these people?" He pointed at the window area where now the fan girls were now. Sakura sweat dropped.
"Well we could…"-