Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, literally or figuratively.
FlamedraSeer7213: Fu fu fu… do you think I update too late?
Pom-Pom: Ask the reviewers.
FlamedraSeer7213: Hn, mean.
Pom-Pom: We have a question for you dear reviewers today!
FlamedraSeer7213: What do you think should be a side pairing?
Pom-Pom: Because of my persuading, there will be some dirty parts in this story…
FlamedraSeer7213: -sweat drops- Please vote Minna-san and enjoy the story! I made this chapter a page longer as an apology for making you wait so long! The next few chapters will have at least 3,000 words! There's a lot in this chapter. We've got Inner Sasuke coming out again, fan girl confirmation, acting, and a fiancée.
Pom-Pom: FlamedraSeer7213-san thinks that the story should start getting a little more serious rather than the common slap stick humor. Therefore the story will get a little more serious, but there still be more funny parts and serious. This is one of them more… hehe… ones that meet my demands… No hentai… but lots o' lime.
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"Blah la" is talking
"Blah la" is thinking/talking mentally to Inner Selves
Blah la is inner self talking
AN is… Author's Note
AMN is Author's Muse's Note
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Ninaleoliona: Yay! I thought I got all my funny stuff sucked out by writer's block!
MagicFlames: Yeah, my story alert, any alert didn't come to my e-mail either.
SakuraUchiha4: Sasuke is really out of character in this story yup.
velvettears81969: I'll try writing longer chapters. …It'll be hard, but I'll try!
Fieran: Glad to see that you're reviewing!
Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Got it, updating now!
dong-chan-mei: Hmm, Sakura may not be that innocent after all.
la la laaa :3: -grins-
tiffanylicis: You'll see what happens in this chapter.
petite.ina: The feared cliffhanger!
Chrissymissy: Thanks!
Artemis 85: I will update!
Chiaki: Let's just say that I was on the verge of being eaten alive by writer's block. Yes, power to the drunks! –sneezes-
goyankeesbooredsox: Yup, they always have to make some kind of a comeback.
Kage Mistress of Shadows: As much as I wish to torture Sasuke, please keep in mind that this is a SasuSaku story. I'll try and make Sakura annoying him to the brink of insanity, but that's the best I can do.
Aly: Yes, I'm sadistic, so sue me :P. Thanks!
WhITe DoRiAn: I forgot to add that Sasuke really isn't on the poison, cos… well it's nearly done.
Michiyo: Continuing
c-Chiaki-c: Here's the next chapter!
mexicanchica: Updating.
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"Well we could…"
Sasuke leaned forward to listen to Sakura's 'devious' plan. "We could tie you to a tree outside and let the fan girls maul you until they are happy." He narrowed his eyes and glared at her. Sakura gave a nervous chuckle. "I was joking you know." "You better have." He replied.
"I have an idea." Sasuke pronounced. Sakura raised her eyebrow. "Oh really? What would that plan be oh mighty Uchiha prodigy?" He crossed his arms. "Are you going to listen or not?" Sakura chose not to reply. "Okay, fine. I'll tell you anyway." He continued. "We could make two clones, push them outside and force them to start kissing in front of the girls." Sakura smirked. "That would be a good idea, except…" "Except?" "Our clones disappear the minute they touch." Sasuke frowned and turned away from her.
"Aww… what will our little Uchiha think of now that his plan was rejected?" Sakura taunted in his ear, failing to notice the devious little smirk starting to spread on his lips. Quickly, he grabbed her wrist. "Wha!? What are you doing?" "Something I should have done before." He pulled her to window, where all the fan girls had a perfect view and opened it.
"Konbanwa Minna-san!" He greeted everyone cheerfully. "What the hell is he doing!? Is the poison getting to his head!?" Sakura stared incredulously at the Uchiha who had a death grip on her wrist. "Do any of you know what a fiancée is?" One of the fan girls raised her hand. "Yes?" Sasuke picked on her. "It means the person who you are married to?" Sasuke shook his head. "Wrong! That's my wife." Another girl raised her hand. Sasuke picked her. "It means that you're going to dump her." Sasuke frowned. "Wrong!" The girl frowned. "But Sasuke-kun, you would only announce this with us if you only would split up with her. If you're not, then you're retarded!" Sasuke stroked his chin with his remaining hand. "Hmm… Interesting. What's your name?" The girl grinned. "Kagurazaka Hikaru." Sasuke dropped his hand. "Okay. Kagurazaka Hikaru, shut up!" Everyone around her giggled.
Sasuke cleared his throat. "A fiancée is someone who is engaged with me and is going to marry me soon." He pulled Sakura over to the window and pointed at her. "This is Haruno Sakura. Everyone say Hi to Sakura." Everyone waved and boomed a "Konichiwa Sakura-san!" He turned to Sakura. "Sakura this is everybody. Say Hi to everybody." Sakura sweat dropped. "Konichiwa Minna-san." She politely muttered. Sasuke grinned. "Now that we have all been properly introduced, onward with the subject. Now, I think all of you already know, I have a fiancée." The fan girls squealed and nodded. Sakura looked at him completely flabbergasted. "He had a fiancé? Why didn't I know this!?"
He cleared his throat again and continued. "I have attempted to keep that a secret and have failed… rather badly…" He frowned at the huge mass of fan girls below. "But, I have been able to succeed keeping her identity a secret. And yes, it is a HER." A few groans were heard from below and about ten people left the fan crowd. Sakura twitched. Sasuke rubbed his temples in frustration. "The only reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm going to tell you who my fiancée is today."
He first reached into his pocket, pulled out some black sunglasses and put them on. He then pushed Sakura in front of him. "Everyone, you've met Sakura-chan hn?" Everyone nodded. Sasuke smirked and pulled back Sakura next to him. "Sakura… Hold out your right hand please." "What the hell is he talking about? There's nothing on my right hand." Confused, she held out her right hand. All of the girls below gave a collective gasp. Sakura looked down at her hand, there was nothing on it.
But the girls were gawking at it like it was the holy jewel or something. She finally realized what had happened when one of the girls said, "Look at that… gem…" She quickly snapped her eyes to Sasuke, noticing that he had put on the sunglasses to hide his… Sharingan! She narrowed her eyes. "Hm, so that's his game huh? Then I'll just play along."
She blushed for no apparent reason. "Oh Sasuke-kun…" He turned his sunglassed glaze to her, a small blush instantly appearing on his cheeks. Inner Sasuke was having a field day.
She is so cuuuuteee!!!
…
You're just speechless because of her cuteness!
Wha-!? I AM NOT!!
You're blushing; therefore you think she's cute.
……okay so she is a little cute…
She's so cute you just want to fling her onto your bed and do the things that they do in Ichi Ichi Paradise!
NO! NO I DO NOT!! ...You pervert...
You know you wanna.
I do not.
Uh-huh.
Uh-uh!
Yes, you do.
No I don't!
Aww look at that you're getting flustered!
I am not flustered!
You are so flustered you don't even know that you're flustered.
…I hate you…
I love you too sweetie!
"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's voice snapped Sasuke out of his argument with his inner self. He looked at her cute self. "Oh screw this!" He pulled off his sunglasses and grabbed Sakura by the waist. "Sasuke-kun? What are you-?" "Listen up!" Sakura started but Sasuke interrupted. He pointed at Sakura and tightened his grip on her waist. "She's my fiancée, so back off!"
The silence was absolutely deafening. Sasuke didn't know how silence could be deafening, but that seemed to be the only word that could describe the silence. So he endured the 'deafening' silence, waiting for some kind of response from either Sakura or his fan girls. He got none. He frowned. "Whoever said that silence is golden must have been on crack."
It took Sakura a full five minutes to comprehend what had just happened. "The act Sakura! THE ACT!! He was just helping you out! Now you help him OUT!!" She squealed. Sasuke immediately snapped out his waiting… status and looked at Sakura somewhat frantically. "Sakura-chan? What's wrong? Did you step on a splinter? Did you hurt your leg? Do you have a headache? Does your stomach hurt? Do you want me to rub some caramel on your thighs?" Sakura looked at him like he was crazy. "Why would you need to rub some caramel on my thighs!?" Sasuke frowned. "I said that? Wow, I didn't know that."
Sakura then smiled. "Aww… you care for me so much that you say things without knowing it! That's so cute!" Sasuke blinked. "What are you talking about?" She held back the urge to punch him so hard he would see stars. "Oh Sasuke-kun, you're so cute!" She hugged him and hissed into his ear as soon her face was out of sight from the fan girls. "I'm helping you with your little act you bastard! Act along!" He inwardly winced. "How the fuck could I forget about such an important thing!? Well… then to put my acting skills to the test."
We could say that the Uchiha's acting skills absolutely sucked. "I love you very much my dear Sakura-chan." He said in monotone, no passion whatsoever. As a matter of fact he sounded like he wanted to leave. Sakura inwardly frowned. She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the view of the window. A few of the fan girls groaned. Sasuke looked at her confused. "Why you'd do that? It's rude to the-" Sakura cut him off by firmly planting her lips on his. His eyes widened in surprise. She slid her tongue over his bottom lip. He allowed her entrance, but he before he could do anything, the kiss ended. "If you want the rest of that kiss, let's do this correctly, okay?" Sasuke smirked, now he was interested.
Both of walked back to the window. A couple of the fan girls looked suspicious of them. "Why did you guys run away?" One of them demanded. Sasuke glared at her and crossed his arms. "I'll have you know that we didn't run away. I was just enjoying the taste of my little cherry blossom here." Sakura flushed at that comment. "Minor-Boy sure knows his dirty talk…" The fan girls were apparently thinking the same thing as they all flushed as well. He smirked at the silence. "I take back my comment on who ever said that silence was golden. He's an absolute genius." Sakura decided that was when she should come in. She leaned against him ever so slightly. All the fan girls squealed in protest. Sasuke then slowly put an arm around her shoulders and gave a small squeeze. A couple of the fans stopped protesting and some awed while others started yelling in protest. Sasuke shot them a scathing death glare. Everyone shut up.
Well almost everyone. One girl was brave even to stand out of the crowd. "Sasuke-kun! You can't marry that fucking whore! She's probably not even your fiancée!" Sasuke froze and pulled off his arm from her shoulders. He then spun towards the girl. "You." He hissed, putting in as much malice as he could. "What the fuck is your name!?" The girl winced and stood there now shaking visibly. "I asked you a question and I expect you to answer!" He spat out after a few moments of silence. Even Sakura seemed to be shaken a bit. "I guess he can act extremely well if he's put up to it… But still… why is my heart beating so fast?" She shook her head. "No… It's probably because I was shocked…" Sasuke was still glaring like a basilisk at the poor girl. "Answer me!" He demanded. "Kusaki Saonji…" He gave a smug little smirk. "It seems that we're getting somewhere now. I want to show you something so pay attention, because I won't show you again." She seemed to brighten up in an instant and was now looking intently at Sasuke.
"Sakura, come over here." Confused but trusting the Uchiha, Sakura walked over to him slowly. Being an impatient person, he once again grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest, finally wrapping his arms protectively, almost possessively around her, lacing his hands together at her back. Saonji's face turned red in anger. Sasuke smirked once again, "If she's not my fiancée, then why would I do this?" "Because we're acting…" Sakura answered the question in her head. The girl seemed to read her mind. "BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY ACTING!! YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO NERVE TO KISS HER!!" Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.
This girl is really getting on my nerves.
Shut up, almost everything gets on your nerves.
Hn.
Can't even say a word to defend yourself now huh Uchiha?
You shut up, I'm trying to think and thanks to you, you're breaking my concentration.
You never even had concentration to begin with, being so busy staring at Sakura-chan's cleavage.
Wha-!? How dare you accuse me of such impure actions!
Stop trying to sound so innocent, I'm you and you are me remember? I have the same thoughts as you.
Hn, yours are more perverted.
That may be true, but nonetheless we still think the same things.
…
Speechless at a time like this hm?
Sh-Shut up.
Anyway, this girl is annoying you huh?
Did you figure that all out by yourself?
Hn, if you want to make her leave, prove her wrong.
Uh?
Prove her wrong by kissing Sakura-chan in front of her and everyone else.
A dark red blush covered Sasuke's cheeks as soon as Inner Sasuke said that. Uh…
Come now! Look everyone's looking at you weird!
Sasuke turned his attention to everyone. Saonji seemed to be smirking triumphantly. Sakura was acting her part and looked worriedly at him, although he could detect a what-the-hell-are-you-doing-minor-boy-get-back-to-reality look in her eyes being heavily disguised. "So what is it Sasuke-kun? Are you going to kiss your 'fiancée'? Or will you date me?" A disgusted scowl had way to Sasuke's face instantly. "Why would I want to date the likes of you when I have Sakura here?" He blurted out harshly. "Well that was rather… blunt…" Sakura winced at Saonji's crestfallen expression. Sasuke smirked. (AN: he seems to be doing a lot of smirking here huh?) "Hn, you're not even worth my time." He dished out even more emotional abuse at her.
Sasuke then grabbed both of Sakura's shoulders. Saonji paled. "No… Sasuke-kun… don't tell me that you're going to do it…" She pleaded. Sasuke looked down at the female in his hands. He started to lean down slowly. Sakura, knowing what he was going to do, closed her eyes. He angled his head a little bit and pressed his lips to hers. The fan girls just practically died right there.
After about five (AMN: heated) kisses from the Uchiha to the Haruno, every last fan girl had left the premises, Sasuke was looking rather smug, and Sakura was literally radiating pink off her body. "Well… well…" Sakura was trying to say something but wasn't doing too well trying to say it out. Sasuke frowned, "What is it? Spit it out." Sakura opened her mouth to speak when there was a loud bang at the door to their room. Sasuke clenched his teeth and he walked pass Sakura to the door. She heard him hiss out softly, "Dammit, don't they ever give up?" Sasuke reached out to open the door knob, Sakura's eyes widened and she dove for him.
"Oof!" Both of them went down to the floor. "Hey why did you –mmmmffgghh!!" Sasuke started, but Sakura placed a firm hand over his mouth. "Shh…" She whispered into his ear, her hand still on his mouth. "They're listening for any motion detection. If they sense any, they'll break down the door and in order for them to leave, they have to see us in a…" She turned a deep shade of red. "Sug-Suggestive position." Sasuke blinked at the amount of information being thrusted at him, processing it in mere seconds. The door was being hit again, this time so hard that it nearly fell off its hinges the first time.
"Crap!" Sakura cursed. "Do you have any plans Uchiha?" "Mmmffgh hgggnmmh dejaaamm!" Sasuke couldn't say anything do Sakura's hand being firmly placed on his mouth. Sakura blinked. "What was that you said?" "Mmmffgh hgggnmmh dejaaamm!" He repeated. She looked at him. "Oh I'm sorry!" She quickly removed her hand from his mouth. Sasuke took in a couple of deep breaths, shooting venomous death glares at Sakura. "So Sasuke." He noted that she said his first name, not his last. "What's your plan, I couldn't hear it over… my hand…" Sasuke inwardly snorted. "I said, lets just go along with your plan and be in a suggestive position. From my experience, those fan girls aren't very smart, unlike some former ones from Konoha." Sakura's cheeks flushed a little bit. "So if we look like we're doing something… naughty, they'll probably leave."
Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What if they don't leave? Then what?" A minute smile pulled at the corners of Sasuke's mouth, resulting in something between a half smile and a smirk. "Oh I've gotten that taken care of, so don't worry." She gave him a confused look. Another bang hit the door at was on the verge of giving in, probably only being able to hold two more hits. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "I have to treat this as a mission. I will not accept failure." (AN: Typical Sasuke) The minute second the door wasn't being attacked, he grabbed Sakura by the waist and flung her onto the bed, flying after her.
Keeping his eyes on the extremely breakable door, he shifted his weight onto his left side, which was on the mattress and not Sakura. In the few seconds he had left, he hastily explained his plan to Sakura, who was still a little dazed from being thrown on the bed. "Sakura. Pay attention, I won't be able to say this again. As long as they stay outside, I'll keep as much distance as I can for the time being, but the minute they come in, that's all out the window. I won't hear any cries or protests, you know that already. If we fail this…" His lips straighten out into a thin line. "You might be returning to Konohagakure alone." Sakura gulped visibly.
Finally the door gave and went flying into the room, hitting the windows and shattering them. The girls started to pile into the room, some gasping at the sight of Sasuke on Sakura. "Time for the plan to commence." Sasuke thought as he slowly leaned down to press his lips to Sakura's, forcing himself to close his eyes, closing their distance. Sakura didn't squeak, scream, or bite his tongue that had somehow gotten into her mouth, but closed her eyes as well.
Half of the fan girls had left the room alone on this act alone. A few had gone in close to see if they were actually kissing. Sasuke felt eyes on him and Sakura. "I guess I'm going to have to go to plan b. Dammit, Sakura is going to beat me to hell afterwards…" Ungluing his lips from Sakura's, he started to place slow kisses on her neck, starting downward. Sakura turned completely red. The fan girls ran out of room, crying. Sasuke sat up after they left, looking content.
"Well… Well…" Sakura was trying to say something again, but was having trouble again. Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "What is it now? Come on say it." She turned away from him, her face red. "That was… that was… great acting." She finished, turning around and facing him again. He didn't say anything, but he stood up and went into the bathroom, popping his head out. "Sakura." She looked at him. "Maybe one reason why my acting was so good was because I wasn't acting." Sakura's eyes widened. Sasuke shrugged. "But then again, I could be wrong." He smirked and pulled his head back into the bathroom, leaving Sakura to her thoughts.