A/N Thanks for the reviews, the alerts and the favourites I love you all. Sorry about the wait L. Hope you like this chapter.

Hardship and Tears 3

The sunlight is streaming through the gap in the curtains. It creates a beam of soft light across the living room floor which ends at the couch. On the couch lays two people who have remained in the same position for most of the night. A writer and his muse are bathed in soft sunlight, both still dead to the world. He lays on his back and across his chest lays his muse. Her head rests in the crevice between his shoulder and neck, her hair fanned out like a halo. Her right arm is draped across his chest, her fingers entwined with his. Her back lays flat against the back of the couch, she lays in the gap between his body and the cushions. Her right leg rests between his, the blanket lays half on them half on the floor. To anybody else they look like a normal couple just sharing a embrace, but to those who know them they would say this is the beginning of a wonderful thing. They would say this has been a long time coming, three years of pent up sexual tension, three years of holding each others gaze, three years of morning kisses (coffee), three years of finishing each other sentences, and three years of the word always being passed to and fro. They would say they have know from the beginning that this would happen. They would say that they are happy that she has found someone who appreciates all the aspects of her, even the broken ones. They are happy that he has found the one who he will spend the rest of his life with. They are happy that she has her one and done. They will say all of this without even knowing about the embrace or the words spoken the next before. They will say this even though it may of not yet fully happened.

He starts to stir, his brow furrows and relaxes again. His fingers twitch but keep their grasp on hers. His head goes to the side and burrows in her hair. He takes a big inhale and then releases a deep exhale. His eyelids flicker but for now remain closed. The clock ticks, the number reads 7.30 am, for her this is late but for him this is early. His other hand grasps at the blanket for a second then releases it. She shifts slightly against him but she is still deep in slumber. His eyelids flicker again at this movement, this time they begin to open. As they open the remnants of sleep can be easily observed. He slowly lifts his head up and looks down his frame. A smile adorns his face when he notices the person laying across him. His grasps on her hand tightens slowly, he doesn't dare wake her yet. At this point he is happy enough to watch her sleep, he lowers his head again. His face resting back in her hair. He breathes in, the aroma of cherries is present, he loves that smell it's so her. He would be happy to just lay here forever with her wrapped up safe in his arms. He knows that it wont be long before she starts to stir, he is unsure of how the mornings events will pan out. He hopes that they will have that talk, the talk that has alluded them for three years. The talk of their relationship, their love for each other. He doesn't know if was in a dream sequence or reality that he heard her whisper those three magical words. The three little words that will change his life forever, hell for the better. He is afraid that if he approaches the subject first that she will run, that the hole in the wall of her soul that he has made will be filled. He glances at the clock it reads 7:45 am, it is far too early and as they have not had a call about a murder, he deems it safe to go back to sleep. He shifts slightly, rearranges the blanket to cover them and lets the sandman take him back under.

She woke up with a shiver, however she was unsure if it stemmed from the cold or from the reality of realising who she was laying on. The blanket now lays completely on the floor. They have not actually moved that much from the position they were in before. Their hands still lay on his chest entwined. Her leg still lays in between his, his face is still buried in her hair. Her eyes are roaming the scene before her, her mind is trying to process what is happening, her heart is fluttering at the feeling of been this close. In her head she was not ready for this, but on this particular morning her heart ruled. Her heart that was warmed by the feeling of been snuggled up to him. Her heart that wanted this to be how she woke every morning albeit in a bed not on an uncomfortable couch. Her heart that believed him to be her one and done, her everything. Every day that passed meant that her head was slowly losing the battle with her heart. Her head was the rational side of her, it thinks of the things that may go wrong. It thinks about that the fact that she may end up hurting him or vice versa. She doesn't move from her position if anything she snuggles closer when she notices he is still asleep. Her mind goes back over the previous night's events. She remembers how upset he was when she found him at her door, how heartbroken he appeared. She tries to over analyse the fact that in his hour of need he seek'd her out. Rather than spend the time with his family he came to see her. She didn't know if to feel guilty that he had left his family to see her or if to be happy that he had trusted her with this. Her heart tells her to go with the second option. She remembers those three little words being spoken again for the second time. Her head is freaked by this, her heart is content.

She lays there for feels like forever, debating whether to move before he wakes or if to stay and see what transpires. A couple of seconds later the decision is made for her, a soft but husky voice speaks out.

"Morning Kate."

She automatically tenses at the use of her first name, he has been doing that more often than not lately. She can't decide if she likes it or hates it. The huskiness of his voice also takes her by surprise, it sounds so sexy. She feels his thumb slowly slide over her fingers, caressing each one as it goes. She wants to draw her hand back, but her attempts to move are futile. It's like there is a force holding it there and to be honest with herself she likes the feeling of his soft touch. She raises her head just enough that their eyes meet. She becomes absorbed in his deep blues, they show her all of him. It's her turn to speak and the sleep affect has got to her voice as well.

"Morning Castle."

The tone and texture of her voice sends a shiver down his spine. He would love to wake up to that greeting for the rest of his life. He notices that even though he felt her try to get up before, she has not actually moved from his grasp. They have been awake for a least ten minutes and she is still there. He wants to sequel even though he knows that it is not very manly. Sadly she then untangles from him, she pushes her self up to a sitting position using her hands on his chest as leverage not that he minds. From there she stands, he looks at her with a confused face, is she about to run. She simply says…

" Castle I'm not going but mother nature calls."

This makes him chuckle and he responds as she walks towards the back of the apartment.

"I'll make us some pancakes while your gone."

He stands at the entrance to her kitchen, he has only ventured in her a few times but he knows where everything is kept. That is the thing about being a writer it makes you a stickle for detail. He heads to the cupboard nearest the sink and pulls out the frying pan. He turns to get the ingredients out of the fridge when his eyes land on a picture stuck to the door. It's a picture of Kate with her arm around her father's shoulders. They look so happy in the picture, and that makes his chest feel tight and restricting. He has to take a couple of deep breaths even these burn deep in his chest. He wishes that he could have had this kind of relationship with his father, which in turn reminds him of what lead him to Kate's apartment in the first place. Tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes, he leans and places his forehead on the cool surface of the door. He doesn't want to cry not again, he cried enough yesterday. He takes slow breaths and fights back the tears. Once he has composed him self again, he reopens the fridge and takes out the milk, eggs and butter and sets to work.

As he starts to flip the pancakes over he hears the bedroom door click open and the sound of soft footsteps quickly follows. He hears her walk into the kitchen behind him, he quickly swipes the unshed tears from his eyes with his sleeve and turns to face her. He is taken with the site before him, she has taken a quick shower while he was in here. Today she is on call so therefore she is casual dressed in a white t-shirt which has frayed seams and a beautifully intricate design on the front. It fits her like a glove, the shirt is low cut so he can see the top of the swell of her breasts. Her legs are encased in a pair of tight fitting dark blue skinny jeans, that fit her perfectly. Her hair is down, the curls sitting on her shoulders, her feet are bare. He doesn't realise that he is staring until he smells burning and Kate coughs. He quickly averts his gaze and diverts his attention back to the slightly burnt pancakes. He hopes she likes them a little crispy.

They eat breakfast in a comfortable silence, neither wants to be the one to approach the subject that hangs over them like a dark cloud. Instead they are happy to just sit there, although they do catch each others eye line every couple of minutes. When this happens he smiles and she blushes. She flashes back to the case when her apartment blew up, he made her pancakes then as well it was just a shame she didn't get to eat them. She takes the time to study him, his hair is your typical bed head and it looks adorable. The shirt he borrowed is crumpled and still as tight as it was last night, she can make out the outline of his chest. She looks up at his face and notices he has got slight stubble present. How she would love to run her fingers up and down his cheek and let his stubble brush on her hand. His eyes show remnants of sleep and tears. She can tell that he has been trying not to cry, it must of happened while she was talking a shower. Her heart breaks a little to think that she was not there to comfort him again. She could ask him about it but she doesn't want to push him for answers. She wants to give him the space to discover everything on his own. Just like he did for her during that sniper case, she will still be there for him in the background like he was for her. If he needs her for support he will reach out and she will be there waiting with a warm embrace and a shoulder to cry on. She has finished her pancakes and it appears he has too. She catches his eye line again and he speaks.

"So Kate what are your plans for today?"

"Well as long as I don't get called in, I was thinking of taking a stroll around the park. It seems to be a nice day out there, seems a shame to waste it."

He gives her what can only be described as a beaming smile.

"You care for some company?"

" You not going to see Alexis this morning?"

His smile falls, and now she feels like she was too harsh with that line of questioning. However within a second it reappears on his face.

"No she text me this morning to tell me she was going to school. She said I quote that she needed a bit of normalcy in her life after last night. That and the fact that she hates missing school. I told her I will see her when she gets home tonight and we will have a chat about events and that I loved her. So I am free till then and I don't really want to be on my own if that makes any sense. I don't want to be left alone with my thoughts for that long, I don't want to think about it. So therefore would you like some company?"

This is what she means about not pushing him, giving him the space to talk about it without pressure. To be honest she doesn't want to be alone today, even though what is happening between them scares her she doesn't want to leave him alone.

" Okay Castle you can come with me I suppose."

She gives him a little wink before picking up her plate and heading over to the sink. She places it in the washing up bowl and goes to turn. However what she doesn't expect is the fact that Castle has also got up to put his plate in the sink. She turns and finds her self face to face with him, so close she can feel his breath on her cheek. She should back away but she finds her self frozen to the spot. She has no control over her limbs at this moment so all she can do is stand there. She loses her self in those beautiful blue orbs, she doesn't see his little smirk, she doesn't notice him leaning in and she definitely does not notice the hand he has placed on her back. He has her exactly where he wants her he knows that and he is powerless to stop himself. He leans in further and she still seems to be oblivious to the outside world. He knows that this will either get him slapped, shot or punched, but he has wanted to do this again for such a long time. He gently touches his lips to hers in the faintest kiss, she doesn't respond back good or bad so he feels a little bit braver. He leans in again and their lips meet with a bit more pressure. This time he does get a response and it's not one that he expects. He braces him self for a onslaught of pain instead he feels her right hand weave it's fingers into the whispers of hair at the nape of his neck. This time it's her who leans in, her other hand lands at his waist and pulls him too her. Her right hand tilts his head down slightly to make up for the small height distance without her heels on. Her lips crash into his and she bites gently on his bottom lip with her teeth. This causes him to tangle his hand in her hair and he deepens the kiss. He feels brave again and he brushes his tongue across her top lip and she moans into the kiss. This is all the encouragement he needs, one of his hands slips up the back of her top skin to skin. Her tongue comes to join the cause and they fight for dominance. Every ounce of pent up sexual tension and every ounce of love is poured into this kiss. She knows that this is breaking every rule she has ever made about Rick but he is now standing inside that wall she has in place to guard her from everyone. Finally after what seems like hours but in reality is just a few minutes they break the kiss for air. Her hand is still caressing his neck while his is still burning form the heat radiating from touching her bare back. Their foreheads are gently touching and they are looking each other in the eye.

"That was breathtaking."

" I know."

That is all she can reply with right now she is still trying to catch her breath.

"What happens now?"

He asks her, and right now she has now idea.

A/N please don't hurt me for ending on a cliff hanger :). How will it go from there? Please review I means a lot when you do.