Whooo boy this is a long one, and a part of it is a big first for me! So that's why it's taken so long. I keep finding things I wanna fix and change and rewrite so if I don't just put it up now it'll never go up! Hope you gents enjoy it anyway, even if there's more I'd change (but there's always more I'd change) and let me know what you think
"Holy shit dude." Sam exhaled, looking adoringly down at his corndog before ripping off another massive bite, "I've never tasted anything so fucking good."
Dean chuckled leading them away from the food stand and to a nearby bench. Dean subtly helped lower Sam down to sit, his brother pulling the baggy sweatshirt away from his body before carefully following him down. "Well then don't hog it all, gimme a taste." He ordered grinning at his brother as he slung an arm over his shoulders.
Sam turned slowly to Dean before hesitantly raising his food out in offering, a strangely blank look on his face. Dean leaned down to take a bite, his eyes way and distrustful, trained on Sam, before his brother punched it up into his face smearing globs of ketchup and mustard all over his lips and cheek.
Sam snickered under his breath, "Tastes good, huh?"
"Oh I'm gonna kill you Sammy." Dean threatened shaking his head before he grabbed the back of Sam's neck and yanked him forward, crashing his lips into his own. Sam protested with a quite squeak and resisted for all of two seconds before the bustling carnival and the smearing sauces melted away into the background and he smiled into the kiss, relaxing.
Dean cracked open his eyes, looking down at Sam's genuinely happy smile, and took a moment to once again appreciate how grateful he was that they were finally out of the house.
The past week had been hell for both of them: a bedridden Sam was in no way fun to be around – for any period of time let alone every free hour of the day. And anytime Dean hadn't been training for his new job, he was with Sam – waiting on him, talking to him, entertaining him, calming him down, cheering him up…it had almost become as much of a job as the hardware store, only worse because that thought made him feel guilty as hell.
He hated watching Sam suffer, he did, and that was basically what the whole week had been for him, he knew that. But after a few days of being on the receiving end of his suffering, being bitched at and complained to and cried over, he was finding it hard to remember who to direct his anger at and who to feel sorry for. Because it hadn't been Sam's fault that he'd been difficult this week, but Dean had lost sight of that a few times, and the guilt ate at him.
But he was putting all that behind him now, it didn't matter. Sam's spirits had lifted a thousand percent just being let out of bed and the carnival had him on cloud nine. Dean was letting the week go from his mind, ready to enjoy this time with the Sammy he'd missed like crazy and bask in the feeling of freedom.
"Dean," Sam whispered as he pulled away, "People are staring." He informed with a small lingering smile as he leaned his forehead to his brothers.
"I couldn't care less." He shot back bringing his hand up to Sam's neck, "We're finally free of that house for the night - you're out of bed, I've got a job…I'm happy as shit dude. And I wanna celebrate."
"Good. Me too." Sam agreed pushing back up into Dean's mouth and licking away the rest of the sauces with gentle, open-mouthed kisses. Dean hummed breathlessly across Sam's cheek, his hand moving up to comb through Sam's hair. He gradually moved his lips down Dean's jaw to nip at his ear, sucking roughly on the lobe.
"Okay…I wanna celebrate, all for that," Dean began a little breathlessly, stifling a groan as Sam's lips moved to suck at the sensitive skin over his pulse, "But if you wanna celebrate like this, we need to move it to the car. Pronto."
Sam chuckled into the crook of Dean's neck, "As much fun as that sounds, we came here for the carnival. Don't know about you but I wanna finish my corn dog and kick your ass in a few of these games." He explained grinning challengingly at his brother even as his expression screamed of sex - his pupils still lust-blown and his cheeks still flushed. Dean was tempted to take him right there, but the words Sam had said slowly began to filter through his mind and register and eventually he nodded his agreement.
"Yeah, we'll see about that little brother." Dean said ruffling Sam's hair as he stood and grabbed Sam's hand to help him stand. He didn't even let go as they started down the crowded pathway toward the games.
"Oh dude, look!" Sam exclaimed, his hand clamping down around Dean's as he pulled them to a stop, "There's a gun game!" He said gesturing across the grassy divider to point out the stand he had spotted. The smile on Sam's face as he turned to Dean was filled with so much hope and excitement he was ready to agree to play with barby dolls so long as it kept Sam happy. Damn he loved that smile.
Dean leaned forward and collided into Sam's lips, belatedly registering his actions as his hand snaked around the back of his neck and back to keep him balanced. He gradually pushed them off the sidewalk and into the grassy alley between two games as he continued plundering his mouth. Sam gasped into the kiss, his hands coming up to thread through Dean's hair, his thigh quickly sneaking up to press into Dean's crotch.
Dean moaned low and loud directly into Sam's ear as he pressed him firmly up against one of the walls, his hands rubbing down his back and into his hips, gripping firmly before letting go.
"Fuck, I love that smile Sam." Dean whispered through his own grin as he chuckled into one of Sam's pecs, shaking his head slowly.
Sam huffed a laugh, "Is that what that was for? Jesus, I'll have to smile more often."
Dean laughed again, lifting his head, "No dude, it was the smile." He explained, trying to keep his tone light even if he was serious, "The one you get when there's nothing you're worried about, nothing you're angry or sad or scared about, even if it's only for that second." He shrugged looking sheepishly at his feet as he dropped a hand from beside Sam's head, backing away a little as he realized how mushy the conversation had just gotten. "I don't know man, you just look happy. And I don't get to see that so purely often," Dean smirked up at his brother, "Sorry I attacked you. We can go play your gun game now."
Sam grinned so hugely his cheeks hurt; he couldn't even help it, "Don't be sorry Dean." He whispered, "It was fucking hot, love it when you get all aggressive and possessive," He breathed a soft laugh coming up to press himself against Dean again, nuzzling into his neck, "And I love that you know me well enough to know my smiles."
"Course I do Sammy. Know everything about you." Dean stated simply.
Sam looked down almost bashfully before shaking his head and grinning wider, "You've gotten a lot sappier in your old age Dean Winchester." He said quietly, teasingly before glancing up under his lashes.
"Oh come on man," Dean retorted pushing off of his brother with a helpless smile, "That's low." He chortled, "Let's go, I need to kick your ass at this game and win my balls back."
Sam laughed throwing his head back before heading over to the stand with his brother. Dean handed over money and their ID's, as you had to be sixteen to play, and watched the moving targets in the background, getting a feel for how everything worked.
He shot a sideways glance at his brother and smirked, seeing the smug look on his face as he too watched the silly metal targets move around the back and pop out in various places.
"Okay boys, everything looks good," The carnie said handing back their ID's and placing a Beebe gun on the counter, "who's up first?"
Dean stood there and looked at Sam expectantly before gesturing to the game, "Ladies first, sweetheart."
Sam cocked a brow tilting his head to the side, a small smile playing at his lips as he turned and faced the counter. The carnie was still standing before him, looking between the two boys confusedly before seeing Sam was up and focusing on him.
"Okay man," The guy said, condescension all over his tone, "now I don't know if you've ever held a gun before, but-"
Sam picked it up confidently and placed it snugly against his shoulder, holding it level and pointed at a target to the side of the carnie, "Yeah, I think I'll figure it out."
The kid shrugged and backed away, "Suit yourself dude. You've got thirty seconds to hit as many targets as you can, you get over ten shots, you get a frog, get over twenty, you get a teddy bear, you get over forty-five, you get a panda." The boy said gesturing to the stuffed animals around him. There were seven pandas stuffed in a back corner and they were enormous, and Sam instantly wanted one.
Sam turned to Dean and smirked all-knowingly, raising one brow quickly before turning back to the game. Dean laughed under his breath and shook his head, feeling an odd sense of giddiness swelling up in his chest at the sight of Sam's confidence. Another thing he'd been missing lately.
"Okay, ready?" Sam nodded and lifted the gun again. "Go!" The carnie ordered and a buzzer sounded as the clock against the back wall started counting down the seconds.
Right away a shot fired followed quickly by a second and third as the gun moved precisely around to aim at the different moving targets. But, as Dean studied what was happening a little closer, he saw not many of them were actually hitting…the targets.
There was a scoreboard off to the side to count off how many shots had hit, and right now, after twenty seconds, Sam had gotten twelve.
Shit.
Dean's heart rate spiked and his fists clenched as he mentally rooted his brother on, hoping and praying with everything he had that Sam's luck would turn around, that he'd get the feel for the gun, that the targets would stop moving and get in front of the damn Beebe's.
By the end of the game though, Sam had only won a teddy bear with a measly twenty-two hits.
Double shit. Sam should've broken the record for this stupid game; Dean's heart was sinking, just knowing how hard this would hit his brother. Dean hadn't even considered how his knew weight or the break from guns would effect Sam's shot, but obviously it had.
"Alright, twenty-two. Not bad." The carnie congratulated dully as he pulled a teddy bear from the line of stuffed animals.
Sam took the toy and backed away from the counter muttering a quiet, "Thanks."
"Alright, next!" The guy called looking around until he spotted Dean in the small crowd of people gathered to watch the players. He waved him over once they made eye contact, but Dean held up a finger to hold him off for a few seconds.
"Alright Sammy, twenty-two's good man-" Dean tried to encourage enthusiastically but was cut off abruptly by him.
"Dude, please don't." He said, his voice quiet and completely dejected. Sam shook his head, looking to the grassy ground under his feet before turning up his gaze, unknowingly shooting Dean his soulful puppy eyes. "Just…win me a panda." He muttered before walking around him, signaling it was time to go up to the counter.
Dean sighed, wishing he could burn the stupid stand down for ruining Sam's rare good mood. But he forced his anger down and approached the carnie who handed over the Beebe and wasted no time starting the buzzer again.
Dean didn't want to make it obvious that he was missing some of the targets for his brother's sake, but he did, not wanting to rub it in his face that he was no longer the shot he used to be, or in turn, the hunter. It had already been a conversation they'd had, an insecurity Sam had admitted to on more than one occasion, and he didn't want this stupid game to be the reason he started thinking about it again.
So he missed by only an inch or so on the ones he didn't hit, making sure that it wasn't apparent, and ended up with forty-seven hits by the time the buzzer sounded again.
The carnie came back out from his blocked off side of the stand, laughing, "Dude, that was freakin' incredible!" He gushed as he moved his step stool to reach up for one of the giant pandas.
Dean nodded giving him a half-hearted smile as he received his prize and quickly left, not wanting anymore praise for a feat so small.
"Alright Sammy, what next?" Dean asked, trying to put excitement in his voice to get Sam back into his own enthusiasm.
"I don't know Dean, you probably don't wanna be lugging that thing around all night. Let's go put it in the car." He suggested calmly, his voice flat but not obviously sad or disappointed. It was clear he was trying to brush off what had happened and continue on with the night. He didn't want pity - that was apparent.
"Yeah, alright. Then maybe we could get some ice cream. I saw a stand on the way in that looked good. Or maybe some kettle corn, or a funnel cake. Man, we gotta get a funnel cake, those things are the shit." Dean enthused as they made their way back to the car. Sam remained quiet, only giving him small, crooked grins when appropriate, but they never looked genuine and it ate at Dean.
Eventually they made it to the car and instead of waiting for Dean to throw in the bear and leave again, Sam climbed into the passenger seat and shut the door behind him. Dean watched him questioningly, waiting for an explanation, but Sam had his eyes closed and his head resting against the back of the seat almost as soon as he was in. So Dean made his way around to the back door and threw in the toy before joining Sam in the front.
"What's up Sammy?" Dean asked, but it sounded like more of a quiet demand to be talked to.
"Why did that happen Dean?" Sam asked softly, not opening his eyes or lifting his head, he looked so tired.
"Sam, it's been a while since you've touched a gun, almost over five months now-"
"It's been the same for you Dean. And you were missing those on purpose, your aim clearly hasn't been affected at all."
Dean silently cursed himself for being so see-threw and sighed heavily. "Sam, your body's changed a lot in the past five months. Your balance is off, your hands are a little swollen, I'm sure stuff is starting to ache too. I don't know man, you learned your way around a gun when you were…" He took a moment to search for the word that he wanted, but found he really didn't know how to explain without sounding like an ass.
"Not fat?" Sam supplied flatly.
"No!" Dean cried. Sam's words exactly what he'd been trying to avoid, "Sam, come on, that's not what… I just meant, you learned how to shoot when you were built a little differently is all. It's not a big deal: your aim, and everything else that's been effected, will go back to normal once you…" He gestured vaguely to Sam's stomach, but right away realized that it was a pretty stupid thing to do. He should've finished with damn words: have the babies. Why couldn't he say that? – have the babies! It's what he meant!
"Aren't fat anymore?" Sam offered again instead, just as flatly.
Okay, he deserved that.
Dean sighed again, feeling incredibly defeated and increasingly irritated, "Have the babies, Sam. Once you have the babies. You're not fat, you're not fat, you're. Not. Fat." He emphasized getting fed up with the constantly needed reassurance. "You're pregnant." He stated bluntly, "I know you don't like hearing it out loud, but its true Sam. You're carrying twins, our fucking twins. And frankly, its pretty damn offensive hearing you constantly complain about your body changing when the only reason it is, is because our healthy kids are growing!" Dean ranted heatedly.
"I feel like all I hear is you complaining about them: giving you hormones and making you bigger and changing what you eat and making you sick and turning you into a girl." He panted, "Why can't you just appreciate them? I thought we said before that we'd stop fighting this and accept it, appreciate the gift that it is! Why can't you do that?" He asked accusatorily, his voice growing louder and more frustrated as he finally let go of the pent up anger he'd been holding back this week. It actually felt good to get some of it off his chest, and he almost wanted to keep going until he finally turned and looked at Sam.
Sam, who had been the innocent bystander in all this since the beginning, who now looked so utterly devastated, broken and crushed, Dean wanted to rip his own heart out and set fire to it. The hurt glossing over his eyes, the shocked set of his open mouth and upturned brow…one look at his brother and he wanted to take it all back. He needed to take it all back, because he slowly realized exactly what all had just come out of his mouth, and he hadn't meant any of it.
Oh god, he wanted to erase the last minute, just scrub it out of their lives and press the delete button; because Sam would take his words to heart for the rest of his life, and there was really nothing Dean could say now to make him believe he didn't believe it.
He'd just taken out his frustration at not being able to help Sam, on Sam! With harsh words and pent up anger that he really hadn't meant to direct at him, using his own insecurities against him. He'd taken everything out on the entirely wrong person, the one person that he truly never wanted to hurt. The one person he'd been fighting to protect this whole time, he'd just crushed him.
Sam suddenly realized he was staring at Dean, probably recognizing that he was showing every emotion through his eyes alone right now, and swung his head down to look at his lap. His bottom lip caught under his teeth and his face pinched slightly as if in deep concentration, but Dean knew better. He was trying not to cry. Really hard. And Dean could knee himself in the balls twenty times right about now.
Dean's mouth opened and snapped shut a few times, flailing in his desperate regret to figure out something to say. But ironically his brain was scrambling around too fast to come up with anything at all. So they were silent for an achingly long time while Sam tried to compose himself and Dean tried to think straight before finally Sam spoke.
He glanced up at Dean quickly, trying to smile a little to let him know he was alright, though his eyes were bright with tears, before looking back down again, the smile slowly dying from his face. "You're right Dean." He said softly, his voice rough as he tried overly hard to keep the shake and cracking out of it, "I'll try to stop complaining." He relented - completely submissive - his voice scratchy and thick with tears.
Dean stared dumbfounded a moment, unable to believe his brother wasn't ripping his head off right now. He should be ripping his head off right now! He should be yelling and defending himself and his right to complain about whatever the fuck he wanted in this fucked up situation because he had that right. But instead, he did this. He curled up and gave in?
It made Dean feel like the lowest piece of shit on the face of the planet.
"Sam, I," Dean started desperately, his voice high and strained, "No." He said, dejecting Sam's whole response completely, "Don't…please don't say that, man. Don't just give in to my idiot ass like that!" He ordered, his voice growing louder again before he saw Sam move away from him, closer to the window, and calmed his tone again, "That - what I said, it came out all wrong. I-I had no right to say any of that, Sam. I have no idea what you're going through with this, but God sure as hell knows I'd be complaining 24/7 if I were you, dealing with everything you have to." Dean shook his head, leaning closer to Sam to grasp his forearm lightly, "Sammy, I didn't mean what I said, I swear. I've told you before plenty of times how proud I am of you for the way you've handled this, for how strong you've been, those weren't lies, I promise you. That I meant.
"This was just, I don't know…. I've been stressed out Sam. Getting the new job and thinking about you this week - trying to figure out some way to help you while you were stuck in that damn bed…there's just been a lot on my mind, and a lot that felt out of my control the past few days. It's really just been driving me kinda crazy." He admitted, desperation rushing his words, "But I took out my frustrations on you, and that's inexcusable but that's all that was. I'm sorry Sammy, I didn't-"
"Dean." Sam quietly interrupted, taking a long moment for a deep breath, leaving Dean waiting anxiously for him to continue, "I'm feeling a little tired, I'd really like it if we could go home now." He said just as softly, his voice a mere whisper of a breath, but now less hurt and submissive and more just…dead.
Damnet Dean had really fucked up.
He sucked in a quick breath to say something more but soon released it, knowing there was nothing more he could say, especially right now, to make Sam believe him.
So they drove home, in complete silence, both still wearing their bright, neon green bracelets from the carnival – a strangely sad reminder of a night that had started out so perfectly, in nothing but careless laughter, and ended in silent tears.
Tears that Dean could see shining on his brother's left cheek all the way home.
Dean was so beyond furious with himself by the time they made it home that he couldn't physically get himself to move from the car for at least ten minutes after Sam had left. He simply sat there, listening to nothing but his own berating thoughts and trying to figure something he could say to fix this.
It was already eleven, he knew Bobby and Meyer were asleep, but he was almost tempted to go wake one of them up and explain what happened so they could comfort his brother. Because at this point, he was sure anything else he said would only make things worse.
But after a minute of debating that idea, he let it go, figuring he couldn't allow himself the luxury of shoving his problems off on other people: he'd done this, he needed to be the one to fix it.
So with heavy feet and an anchor for a heart, he dragged himself from the car and went inside, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water before going straight up to their room. Sam was unsurprisingly lying on his bed facing away from the door, curled in a ball on his side and clutching his pillow like a lifeline. He looked too small for his frame in that bed, too broken for his usual confident stature. And he had caused it all.
Dean stood in the doorway for a minute, studying his brother, wondering where he should go and what he should do, feeling too utterly helpless and small and stupid to move before eventually pulling himself together again and making a decision. He headed over to the nightstand, put down the water and, throwing caution to the wind, boldly climbed right into bed with his brother, curling up around his back and holding him protectively to his chest.
"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam muttered distantly, his voice still small and emotionless, even though the sound of his plugged nose suggested otherwise.
"Sammy please," He begged, his heart braking at the sound of his brother's voice, "Even if I say I'm sorry a thousand times, I know you won't believe me so just please, let me stay here tonight." Dean whispered reverently, "Let me hold you, and…make this up to you. However I can. I'm such a fucking idiot but please, give me a chance to show you how much I love you. How much I swear to god I didn't mean it."
Sam let out a trembling sigh and relaxed in Dean's arms, done fighting him before he turned over to look at his brother, rolling his shoulder into Dean's chest.
Dean loosened his hold on Sam to let him move, but almost immediately regretted it, hating what he saw on his brother's face: tear tracks shimmering on his face, his lips parted and red, puffing out in short breaths and his eyes still so full of aching pain, Dean almost couldn't stand to meet his gaze.
"Dean," Sam began in a whisper, his tone different this time, less dead and more desperate. He looked as if he were about to go on, his eyes dancing back and forth between his brother's and his mouth hanging open, but he stopped and dropped his stare once again, gnawing on his bottom lip with that concentrated look.
"God damnet man," Sam continued, his voice gaining some volume as he shook his head and moved away from Dean, "Get off." He demanded pushing more roughly than necessary at Dean's chest and hand, lightly stroking across the bulge of his belly. Dean complied dolefully and moved back a few inches so no part of them touched anymore as Sam propped himself up on his elbow.
"You…. Fuck, man, I feel like I can't even explain this to you anymore." Sam said quietly and mostly to himself, frustration evident in his tone before he took a breath and started again, "Dean…you were the one person in the world that I felt I could tell anything, for as long as I can remember." Sam said shakily, his voice thick and off key, as if trying to keep the appropriate emotions out of his tone, "And even though that was tested, going through all this, I still went to you. Even if it felt like when I did I was just burdening you with more of my crap.
"But after, what you said…I feel like - like I can't do that anymore. Like I can't come to you, like I lost the right somehow." He shook his head looking down, causing a few more tears to break loose, rolling rapidly down his already wet cheeks, "I can't go to you with whatever's on my mind anymore because now it's like I…just found out that all this time I've been confiding in you with my - my problems and insecurities, you've been thinking in the back of you're head just, 'shut up Sam, quit complaining.'" Sam explained, pausing every few seconds for hiccupped breaths and sniffling as he continued to fight his tears.
"And I know that you know I've felt like a burden since this whole thing started, keeping you from hunting and our regular life and traveling and whatever because you feel responsible to take care of me…but then, you said yourself, that I shouldn't feel like that." He said, his voice rising as if trying desperately to prove a point. He paused briefly and his face crumpled for just one second before he sucked in another breath, holding back a sob and exhaling slowly and shakily, regaining his composure, "Said you were proud of me and whatever…and now I feel like its all been a lie. That you've been getting fed up with me and my complaining all this time and that maybe I was right all along about think you wanted to leave. Maybe you'll leave now man, I don't know-"
"Sam." Dean cut in urgently, not being able to take hearing any more of that and finally getting his brother to look up at him. He knew he had his own tears falling from his eyes now and saw right away when Sam noticed them, the quite shock on his face. "How-" His voice broke and he cleared his throat, "How could you possibly get all that from one stupid thing I said? Do you really have that little faith in me? I love you Sam, more than anything in this whole fucking world and you think from one stupid lapse in my shaky self control, one blow up of irrational anger, that everything I've said through this has been a lie?" He asked incredulously, his brow crumpling over his watering eyes as another small tear clung to his cheek and rolled.
Sam looked at him with subtle hope in his leaking eyes, wanting so much to believe his brother's words and cautiously allowing himself a little room to do so as Dean scooted forward on the bed again, coming closer until they could feel each other's body heat, near but not quite touching.
"Sammy I'm so sorry for what I said, okay?" He said tilting his head down to rest his forehead against Sam's, "I'm even more sorry for how hard you took it. But please don't ever think you can't talk to me, please. It would kill me if you started keeping things from me now." Dean choked out, his voice coarse and cracking through his shameful tears, "'Cause it's always been just you and me man, that's how it is. Don't change that now cause I was an idiot."
Dean took in a deep, slightly quaking breath and went on, "I promise, you can bitch or complain or scream or cry to me all you want, whenever you want - I swear I won't judge you and I never have." He promised, sincerity dripping from every word, "I only said what I did because I was aggravated from this week and I kept saying the wrong thing in the car, trying to make you feel better but only making you feel worse…and I just blew up. I took that anger at myself out on you and it was horrible and pathetic and one of the stupidest things I've done in a while, but you have to know I didn't mean a word of it." Dean vowed, looking deeply into his brother's eyes, making sure he knew every word was earnest.
Sam took only a few seconds to soak in his brother's speech before he leaned forward to rest back on Dean's forehead and nodded, closing his eyes, "Okay." He whispered, the word emanating understanding and forgiveness, "I believe you." Sam sighed, "Please don't do that to me again."
Dean's heart sank but he nodded quickly anyway, brushing a hand down Sam's face. "Never Sammy. I'm so sorry."
"'S okay." He whispered, backing away from Dean a moment later to scrub a hand down his face, getting rid of his tears and sniffling to clear his nose as much as he could, "There's something I have to make sure you understand though…" Sam began, making Dean tense in fearful anticipation, "I don't resent our babies because they're making me bigger, I don't. It's frustrating dealing with the side effects, but I don't blame or resent them for it at all, I swear. I love them, more than I think anyone understands. I just…hope you know that, even when I complain."
Dean sighed, looking sorrowfully at his brother again and hating that he'd ever made him question that. "Of course Sammy, I do." Dean swore, nodding, "And I get it, how you feel about them, too. I feel the same way." He alleged, taking one long moment to look into Sam's finally dry eyes, and lean in to kiss him, just chastely touching their lips together for a second before pulling back and doing it again. Sam still couldn't breath through his nose so Dean made sure his mouth wasn't occupied for more than a few seconds at a time, but pecked him with openmouthed kisses before moving down his cheek, kissing and licking away the salty remnants of his tears.
Sam sighed softly in contentment as he relaxed back into the bed, Dean hovering half way over him and tracing every inch of skin at his neck with his tongue and teeth and lips. Sam scrubbed a hand through Dean's short spikes, scratching his nails lightly across his scalp and drawing a soft, whispered moan from his brother, relishing in the sound.
Dean bit at Sam's collarbone in turn, eliciting his own echoing groan before he lifted his head, looking into Sam's bright eyes, lit with lust and smoldering desire, and moved his free hand up and down Sam's side, brushing at the sensitive parts of his ribs and hip on every pass. Sam shivered and jolted at the touch as little shocks of pleasure shot their way through him and Dean's mouth fell back down to the other side of his neck, nibbling at his ear.
Sam gasped softly and gently arched off the bed as Dean's fingers stilled on one pass at Sam's waistband and tentatively dipped under, slowly caressing the beginning of the soft curls nestled around his cock. But Dean slipped his hand back out a moment later in favor of unbuttoning his brother's jeans and removing them completely, pushing himself to sit up and move down the bed, slipping off the end to stand.
He grasped the legs of Sam's jeans and started tugging, slowly inching them past Sam's hips before getting them loose and sliding them off. He quickly tossed them to the floor and pulled off Sam's socks, looking over his brother's less-clothed form with wanton eyes and rapidly working his own jeans and boxers off, his socks following. Dean threw off his shirt a moment later and climbed onto bed with his half clothed brother, sneaking his way up between Sam's spread legs and descending toward his mouth, gently pushing their lips together once more.
Sam's breathing was labored just watching Dean undress in front of him, but seeing him climb down the bed to straddle him, naked, feeling every muscle moving in precise rhythm under all that taut, bronze skin - it was hard getting his lungs to work with how fast his heart was pumping in his chest now.
"Fuck Dean," Sam whispered, worshipfully staring at his excited green eyes, "I love you." He breathed, hardly audible as he ran the tips of his fingers down Dean's face, over his closed eyes and parted lips, down to curl around the base of his neck and pull him forward. He moved him down enough to get his lips by his ear, breathing softly into his hair, "I forgive you." He whispered tenderly, his voice soft and clear, as if sharing a vital secret.
Dean exhaled heavily into the pillow by Sam's head, tightening his hold around his brother and rolling his hips down into the heat of his body, "Ah, God, Sammy. I love you too. Thank you." He whispered soulfully, every inch of his heart poured into the statement as his chest tightened and swelled with the overwhelming gratitude and nagging unworthiness at being forgiven.
Dean pushed the feelings away for the moment and focused on Sam as he started a slow, sensual rhythm rolling his dick down into Sam's groin, reveling in the shared heat and friction and gripping his back as he held him close, rocking their bodies together. "Oh God you feel good Sammy." Dean sighed, turning his head into Sam's neck, dipping his tongue out to lick the salty sweat that had begun to gather there, "Missed you."
Sam groaned low in his throat as he pushed up against Dean's cock, wishing his boxers were off now so he could feel him, "You too, fuck Dean you too. Please…get these off." He said under his breath, snaking a hand down to tug at his underwear frantically.
"Okay baby, okay." Dean hushed pushing up off his brother to scoot down, "I'll take care of you." He pushed Sam's legs up to get them out from under him, placing his feet on his chest as he pulled at the waistband and tugged them down his legs.
Dean sighed blissfully looking down at Sam, running his hands up and down the sides of his thighs and breathing heavily as he looked over his brother again, taking in the new coveted sight. Sam's cock, thick and beautiful and hard as rock for him, bobbing against his still covered belly and leaking precome into the fabric as it twitched in anticipation for what was to come.
Dean placed Sam's feet back down on the bed before moving forward on his knees until his bent legs were straddling Sam's ass, his brother's legs still propped up and now draped over his own. The position pressed Dean's balls to Sam's ass and he rolled into the contact on instinct, leaning forward to rub their cocks together, bringing Sam's legs up with him.
"Ugh Dean, shit," Sam moaned bringing his hands up around Dean's back, his blunt nails carving into his flexed muscles, holding on for his life as their bodies continued rocking together, gently moving the bed with their momentum.
"Sam, baby." Dean breathed into his ear, clutching him tighter as he thrust down into him particularly hard, their dicks aligned just right for the perfect teasing friction. "Sammy, I-" Dean slowed down, swallowing his words as he caught his breath, keeping his mouth close to Sam's ear.
"Fuck…I want you, wanna feel you, in every way I can," He breathed meaningfully before backing up, his eyes intense as they bore into Sam's and his hips still gyrating into his brother's: slower, gently.
"I want you inside me, Sam." He whispered against the skin of Sam's cheek, ducking his head as his soft voice broke in and out, his breathing unsteady and erratic. His nerves were on fire with anticipation and fear and lust and love and thousand other things he couldn't name.
"Dean," Sam began, his breathing harsh but steadily slowing as they stopped moving against each other, "Are you – are you sure? I mean I don't – I've never…" He stopped to breath, "Never done that before." He stuttered uneasily, excited by the prospect but fearful of the real thing, scared he'd mess it up or look like an idiot, fumbling around without a clue of what to do.
"Neither have I." Dean shook his head gently, a droplet of sweat dripping from his nose to Sam's chest, "We'll figure it out together." He shrugged smoothly, "But only if you feel comfortable, Sam, I really don't want to pressure you into anything. If it's too soon, just say the word and you know there are plenty of other things we can do. But if you want to, and you feel ready, I want to." Dean said softly, his elbows on either side of Sam's head as his hands caressed through his hair, giving him time to think.
Sam looked into Dean's eyes, which were studying him reverently, looking at his lips and nose and his own hands moving through his damp locks, and decided he'd never feel more ready for this than he did right now. He knew for sure that the only other person he'd ever want to share this with was right there in front of him, being as gentle and loving and patient as ever, and decided right then he wanted this just as much as Dean did.
Sam leaned up and kissed him with every ounce of passion in his body, pushing his hips up into Dean's again and using his legs, hooked around Dean's back, to pull himself up and slide, getting the friction he desired.
"Yes Dean, I want to. I want to know every inch of you…bury myself inside you, be connected to you in every way I can be." Sam whispered heatedly, the intensity of his desire poured into every word, "I want to make love to you." He breathed, his voice tapering off at the end until it was nearly silent, but Dean heard anyway and groaned awe-fully, nodding his approval into his brother's chest as they continued swaying into each other.
Dean closed his eyes, clinging to Sam, his lashes brushing against his brother's skin, before he moved to take one of his nipples into his mouth, sucking gently before biting down and tugging. Sam jerked up against his mouth, his hands coming down to hold Dean's head in place as he cried out softly in surprise, muffling his following breathy moans into Dean's hair.
"Okay, okay stop, m'not gonna last if we keep doing this." Sam whispered, breathing a shaky laugh before Dean slowed down and sluggishly lifted up.
He smiled at Sam softly, dazedly nodding, "Yeah, good idea." He paused a minute, looking at Sam's oversized black t-shirt still hanging loosely around his frame, before running his hand through Sam's sweaty bangs and pushing them out of his eyes.
"Sam," He whispered, his voice whiskey-scratched but quiet in the room, "I want all of you for this." He admitted, moving his hand to Sam's shirt, running his fingers along the seams, "You get every part of me, I think I should get the same." Dean voiced gently, knowing how sensitive the topic it was.
Sam eyed his shirt uneasily before looking back up to Dean, "Sammy, you're so fuckin' beautiful no matter what you do, you know this," He said running his hands over Sam's stomach, "doesn't change that, not for me. I've told you before so please, let me see all of you. I need all of you if were going to do this." He pleaded softly, still rubbing warmly at Sam's clothed stomach.
Sam's heart rate sped up slightly before he sighed and relented, nodding as he propped himself up on his elbows. Dean helped him sit the rest of the way up and move back against the pillows for support, still straddling his lap.
"Lift your arms brother." Dean requested gently, his voice deep in his chest as waited for Sam. And he did, though hesitantly, looking straight at Dean before his brother took the hem of his shirt and slid it up over him and off his arms, throwing it over the bed.
Dean looked over the tan torso he'd seen a million times before and studied all the new changes he'd missed since the last time he saw him. Sam's chest was still wide and built, his pecs hard and shaped with muscle, but the slim waist that it once tapered into was almost gone, replaced with his now even rounder belly, and the hips that once jutted out from his flat stomach were now nearly hidden, tucked away under the growing children inside.
"Fuck you're incredible Sammy." Dean said running his hands over his brother's distended stomach lovingly before falling forward again and into Sam's lips. Their tongues massaged and stroked and battled, sending thrills and sparks straight to their cocks and teasing them both to the point of physical pain. Dean finally had enough after a few intense minutes and pulled away, breathing heavily into Sam's mouth as he deliberately took one of Sam's hands in his own and pulled it up to his lips, never taking his eyes away from him.
He kissed each fingertip worshipfully before slowly descending the warm depth of his mouth around three of them. Sam gasped quietly and arched under Dean's weight, spreading and flexing his fingers in his mouth, knowing exactly how all the wet warmth felt surrounding his dick – the thought driving him mad.
Then the realization of what he'd be doing with his now wet fingers slammed into him, almost making him come on the spot as he groaned lowly, arcing under Dean as he sucked hard one last time before pulling his hand out.
"Ready baby?" Dean asked quietly, his lips still brushing lightly over his fingers.
"Should be asking you that." Sam replied, his voice soft and gravelly, the undercurrents of his nerves clear in his tone.
"I'm ready," he nodded confidently despite the shake in his shoulders.
"Me too."
Dean gave him a shaky smirk before dropping his gaze, sucking in a short breath to speak softly, "Sammy, I…just…wanna make sure you know - this will hurt a little at first. For me, I mean." He explained in a near whisper, lifting his eyes to his brother's again, "And I know it will, it always does, 'specially for people who've, ya know, never done it before, but I'm ready for it. So if I flinch or something, don't be surprised, and don't stop. It'll just take me a minute to adjust and then we'll keep going, okay? It'll be good once I'm used to you, I promise. Just don't stop, alright?" He asked, hoping he hadn't just scared his brother out of doing this.
"I don't wanna hurt you Dean." Sam whispered, sounding all of five years old again as he looked up to his brother anxiously.
Dean's brow crumpled as he smiled sweetly down at his fearful-looking brother, "Don't be scared." He whispered, comforting somberly as he ran his hand down Sam's cheek before tightening his grip on the back of his Sam's neck reassuringly, "Sammy, I didn't tell you that to scare you out of doing this. I just wanted you to be prepared, so you won't freak out in the middle of it and want to stop." He explained gently, "Because I want this, Sam. I want you, in every way possible, and I don't want anything to get in the way of that." He explained and once he was sure that Sam was okay again, swooped down to catch his lips.
Dean spared a few extra seconds to enjoy the feel of his brother before backing away and re-wetting his fingers, slowly letting go of Sam's wrist before sitting up on his knees, lifting himself from his brother's lap.
Sam's breath stuttered out of him in a deep groan as he watched Dean lift his hips, allowing him access to the most personal place on his body, trusting him completely and letting himself be vulnerable to experience this with him. Sam coveted that more than anything.
He lifted a hand to grip Dean's right pectoral, gradually moving his palm up and over his shoulder to bring him forward, making him rest on his hands on the headboard above him and staring up at him one last time before focusing on his task, hoping beyond hope that this part of it wouldn't hurt Dean.
Sam leaned forward and kissed his brother's taut stomach, feeling the muscles ripple under him as his hand moved between Dean's legs, giving his dick two hard tugs before moving further down, brushing over his balls until he found his crack, sliding his wet fingers along the crease. Dean grunted at the contact, his head tipped forward, watching Sam intently as he worked.
His deft fingers spread Dean's cheeks until he was exposed, slowly gliding forward to circle his clenched hole. "Relax," Sam breathed against Dean's belly, kissing him again, dipping his tongue in his belly button before licking at the head of his cock.
Dean's breath released in a rush as he curled in on himself, his stomach tensing at the little shock of pleasure that shot through him. And then his muscles slowly began relaxing under Sam's massaging finger, "That's it big brother," Sam cooed, smirking when Dean gasped at hearing the words before groaning lowly, his hand fisting in Sam's hair. There was something about the dirty-bad-wrong of hearing those words in the middle of this that just set Dean off.
"Fuck, yes Sammy, damnet. Feel so amazing." He grunted out as Sam's slick mouth began kitten-licking his cock, trying to keep Dean relaxed as he gradually pressed his forefinger into him.
Sam backed up an inch and looked up to Dean, his hair disheveled and sweaty, his eyes lust-blown and wide and his intent gaze questioning as he continued pushing his way in. Dean was so turned on by the mere sight alone he thought he might die of a heart attack right there on the spot.
"It's okay Sammy, feels fine. Keep goin'." He encouraged breathlessly.
Sam circled his finger around, slowly beginning to pump it in and out of him and soon, Dean started rocking back into it, his hips and abs brushing along Sam's cheek every time his hips pumped forward and fell back.
"Alright Sammy, you can gimme another." Dean slurred, his voice fucked-out and raspy as his head ducked down onto his forearms folded over the top of the headboard to peer down at what Sam was doing.
"It's dry now," Sam whispered glancing back up at Dean as if asking what to do before lowering his head and slowly working himself out. He brought his hand back to his lips and wet his second finger, Dean watching with concentrated desire before Sam sighed into Dean's skin as his hand went back down. His other stroked up and down Dean's side as he worked in two fingers this time, feeling only a little more resistance.
Dean just grunted and pushed back into his hand, forcing him in, "Shit Sam," Dean yelled in a whisper, throwing his head back, "Oh fuck, the…the tips of your fingers, push them against, right there-"
Dean's words broke off into a desperate, keening moan as Sam did as he was sort of told and watched Dean's expression crumple into fervent pleasure as he continued massaging what Sam could only guess was his prostate. Dean grunted every time Sam's fingers passed over that spot, pushing up into it roughly after stroking it lightly, driving him absolutely crazy.
"Sam, Sam." Dean begged, "Okay. Enough, stop. M'gonna…gonna come. You gotta stop dude."
But instead of pulling out or stilling his movements like Dean asked, Sam roughly worked in another finger, knowing the burn of a quicker stretch would stave his brother off for a while. Dean jerked in surprise before crying out softly, looking down at his brother accusatorily, "Sam," He protested lightly, moving further up on his knees, trying to get away from his brother's hand but Sam just followed, continuing to force in his finger in until he reached his last knuckle.
"Well, your not gonna blow now." Sam said grinning a little up at Dean who stared down at him with mild irritation, "And I've got three in," He said, his voice seductively low and coarse as he wiggled his fingers inside of him, emphasizing his point and cutting Dean off before he could dwell on what he'd done or reprimand him for it further.
"Oh shit," Dean hissed as Sam began playing with his prostate again; he hunched his body forward as crashing wave after wave of pleasure scrambled his brain and coursed through his already spent body, wracking his bones.
Sam was looking intently up at Dean again as he pumped his hand in and out of him, that tense, burning heat surrounding his fingers - he couldn't imagine finally being submerged in all that. His cock jumped on his belly every time Dean moaned or jerked or tensed, basking in the sight of his brother coming apart under his hands so beautifully.
"Sam, I'm ready." Dean announced, slipping his head further down his arms to look at his brother, "God I wanna feel you, can't wait to be filled up with you baby." He said moving a hand down to caress Sam's sweaty, flushed cheek, his eyes closing again as Sam's hand subtly shifted inside him. "Pull out Sammy, lemme get you wet." Dean whispered dipping his thumb in just barely between Sam's parted lips.
Sam huffed a quick breath, slamming his eyes shut at that prospect, his lips closing around Dean's finger as he gently pulled his hand out.
Dean hissed quietly as his inner walls were pulled and Sam removed his fingers, wondering briefly if there was any kind of lube around. As he glanced down at Sam's thick, easily eight-inch cock, he knew spit probably wouldn't be enough to keep him from tearing.
"Um, actually Sammy," Dean whispered tenderly, sitting back on Sam's lap, "I'm gonna get some lotion from the bathroom, make things easier on us." He smiled warmly at his brother before hopping off the bed and rushing to the bathroom, quickly returning with a bottle of unscented lotion and setting it beside them.
He squirted some onto his hand and rubbed his palms together, warming the cream to put it on Sam.
"Dean, I'm a lot bigger than three fingers," Sam said tentatively, watching his brother's hands rub together quickly, "I'm gonna hurt you." He whispered, grasping Dean's wrist to stop him.
But Dean just gently took his wrist from Sam's grasp and moved toward his cock, slowly spreading the generous amount of slick cream over his painfully hard member and ignoring his apprehensive words for now, distracting him. Sam gasped and one of his legs twitched up on instinct, holding his brother closer as his stomach tensed, hunching his body forward "Dean," He keened breathlessly, his back slowly bending to arc gracefully off the headboard, still trying somewhere in the recesses of his incoherent mind to protest.
"It'll be okay Sammy." Dean breathed against Sam's lips, "I want this." He swore as he finished lathering him and pulled his hand away, "You want me to ride you, or do you wanna be on top?" He asked under his breath against Sam's cheek, moving down to his neck to nip and lick at the salty skin.
"Up to you." Sam said breathlessly, his nerves jumping as they got closer and closer to actually doing this and suddenly, he was immensely grateful for how comfortable and how well they knew each other, unable to imagine how this could potentially go if they didn't.
"This is fine if you're alright, I kinda don't wanna be in control of this one." Sam admitted, running his hands down Dean's shoulders and down to his hips, holding him lightly for his own comfort. Dean nodded in understanding and gave him a small smile before bending down to push his lips to his again, forcing them open and sneaking out his tongue, dancing it across the sharp edge of Sam's teeth as his hand moved down to begin stroking himself, preparing himself for the next step.
But Sam soon swatted his hand away and took over, pumping him languidly, teasingly and making sure to keep him desperate and somewhat distracted. Dean though, even through his dizzying haze of lust, managed to open his eyes and peer down to seek out Sam's cock, taking it in his own grip and lifting himself up onto his knees, guiding the tip to his slightly worked hole and holding it there.
Dean was thankful for Sam's continued distraction, but at the first real nudge of Sam's cock, he clenched down instinctively, blocking Sam from any chance at breaching him. Sam groaned at their contact but felt Dean's obvious resistance and slowed his breathing to talk.
"Shh baby," Sam whispered deliriously, having been too close to the edge for too long to be thinking completely clearly, "It's just me." He coaxed, focusing his bleary eyes on Dean, "Breath and relax, it's okay." Sam soothed, running his free hand up and down Dean's tensed stomach muscles. He stopped his ministrations for a moment though and turned to the side, stopping Dean from going on as well, and squirted another glob of lotion into his palm, rubbing it over a few fingers.
He found Dean's exposed hole again and rubbed the lotion against him slowly, getting him used to the feeling again, trying to get him to let go. "Relax," Sam breathed again, continuing to run his other hand over Dean's stomach and cock and gradually, Dean started breathing more steadily, his muscles slowly unwinding.
Dean took quick advantage of the opportunity and guided Sam's dick back to his hole, letting his body weight lower him down as Sam began jerking him again, more steadily to keep him as relaxed as he could. Dean held his breath as he felt about an inch of Sam slip into him, stopping immediately once the ridge of his head slipped past the first tight ring of muscle.
And the burn was there. It hurt a lot, like he expected it to - Sam's cock was nothing to laugh at - but he'd been prepared for all of it and it was manageable. Especially with Sam still stroking his dick, albeit a little unsteadily now, as he bit down on his bottom lip, trying hard to stifle his moans through his heavy panting. Watching Sam succumb to his pleasure like that made just about anything bearable.
"God fucking damnet, Dean. You're so tight…never…never felt anything…" Sam panted drifting off as he lost himself in the overwhelming sensations of slowly being buried in Dean's body. "Incredible." He finished on a breath before crying out quietly into the crook of Dean's neck as he dropped down another inch.
Dean was huffing as hard as Sam was, his legs shaking with the effort of keeping himself still and raised a few inches above Sam's body, hovering over him. His hands that'd been resting on his own thighs suddenly shot up to Sam's shoulders to keep himself balanced as he began to slip farther down, unable to hold himself up anymore but unable to take anymore either.
"Shit," he hissed, grinding his teeth as he balanced himself, slowly wrapping his arms around Sam's neck and grounding himself as he accommodated the new depth and stretch, trying hard to keep himself steady and focus through the fiery ache and sting.
Dean's arms slapping down onto Sam's shoulders shook him out of his blissful daze, making him immediately aware of Dean's pain as his eyes shot open and he looked up at his brother's pinched grimace. Sam caught his breath with one gulp of air, his heart rate spiking as he saw Dean struggling with the stretching burn, with his ability to stay upright, and panicked. "Okay Dean, hang on baby, let's lay back, it'll make it easier on your legs." Sam whispered hurriedly, rubbing Dean's back and thighs, trying to get him to focus on him.
But Dean shook his head, still panting pretty hard but obviously still coherent, "Need to bottom out first." He breathed back, "Can't move like this, it's okay, m'alright, just need…a sec."
"Dean," Sam started to argue, needing to help his brother before eventually realizing he really couldn't and opted to simply stay completely still and trail his fingers over Dean's skin, lightly pumping him and waiting anxiously for him to adjust. Soon he noticed his brother's breathing suddenly change, slowing down to deep, steady breaths before he was slammed with another coursing flood of pleasure as Dean lowered a few more inches.
Sam's breath punched out of him in a great whoosh before he growled lowly, clutching at Dean with every ounce of strength he had, focusing harder than anything on not bottoming out for his brother. Sam's hands ran jerkily down Dean's torso, stopping at his hips to hold on tight, using every ounce of will power he had to restrain himself. He took a few calming, stuttering breaths and whispered, "You okay?" as he turned his head to kiss Dean's flexed forearm shakily, noticing his brother trembling as he kept himself up on Sam's shoulders.
Dean's scrunched eyes slowly opened before he dropped his weight quickly, keeping his gaze locked with Sam's as he suddenly bottomed out, finally resting his legs and relaxing his arms. "Holy fuck," He cursed, ducking his head, his hands squeezing Sam's shoulders as he breathed heavily, focusing on relaxing and adjusting through a rush of pain that had his eye blurring white. Sam watched him worriedly trying to focus through his own overriding pleasure to make sure his brother was okay, rubbing his arms up and down Dean's torso and whispering quiet reassurances as clearly as he could.
"You…are fucking…giant, Sam." Dean breathed in between pants, punctuating every word carefully as he huffed a gentle laugh, trying to catch his breath as he held himself completely still on Sam's lap.
"Sorry, sorry baby, don't wanna hurt you. But fuck, shit…it feels good on this end." Sam whispered back keeping his shaking hands trailing over Dean's sweaty skin, hoping to soothe his pain in any way he could. Dean laughed shakily again before giving a slow, experimental rock of his hips, hearing Sam suck in a sharp breath, feeling his hands stop their calming trail over his skin to claw at him, chocking out a desperate sound deep in his lungs. Dean groaned at the same time, "Jesus, I swear I can feel you all the way up in my chest." Dean whispered before smirking lightly at Sam's reaction.
"Oh God Dean." Sam praised, his head falling forward onto Dean's chest as his dick was tortured in all that scorching heat, just squeezed and held completely still inside, bottomed out for what felt like centuries. He wanted to flip Dean onto his back, slide out of him and slam back in; the tease was unbearable.
Dean let out a long, deep growl as he finally put Sam out of his obvious misery and lifted a few inches before sinking back down quickly, feeling Sam's dick ride over his prostate and fill him up in a way he didn't think was possible. It finally felt good.
"Sam, Sammy, Jesus," Dean groaned, the sound animalistic and frantic, "Ah fuck, I'm full. So fucking full," He keened, whispering in awe as he lifted up again and crashed back down, eliciting a quick and sharp cry from Sam who hurriedly stifled the sound by biting down onto a chunk of flesh in Dean's chest, clawing his nails into his back.
"Oh fuck, Sam, fuck." Dean blathered unintelligibly as he wrapped his arms back around Sam's shoulders, cradling his head to his chest with a hand tangled into his hair, the other squeezing his shoulder as he picked up a gentle rhythm and began rocking his hips, lifting and sinking down onto Sam's cock over and over, reverently.
Sam thrust up into Dean every time he came down, his knees brought up behind Dean and his arms wrapped around his back, clutching at his shoulder's from behind as he brought his hips up to clash into Dean's again and again. Sam's body curled in on itself and wrapped tighter around him as they picked up their rhythm, slamming into each other harder and harder as their intense pleasure grew.
A new curse fell from Dean's lips every time he bottomed out for the next handful of thrusts before he muttered, "Close Sammy…fucking close. I can feel you everywhere, fuck God you're everywhere." He muttered dazedly before pulling his head up from where he'd let it rest tipped back to meet Sam's bright hazel eyes, "I love you. So fucking much." He declared softly, rocking sensually over Sam's tensed body and studying his pleasured grimace before leaning forward, never losing his pace, and plunging toward Sam's lips. He brought a hand up to cup his cheek, holding him in place as he slowed his rhythm slightly, focusing on the kiss.
Sam took advantage of the break in their intense, rough pace to push at Dean's shoulders and topple them backwards until Dean was on his back, staying inside of him as they tumbled gracelessly to the bed.
Dean moaned as the jostling shoved Sam deeper into him, reaching places inside he didn't know existed, and then took a second to catch his breath, holding onto Sam with a death grip.
"You okay Sammy?" Dean asked breathlessly, rubbing his hand down Sam's stomach.
"Perfect Dean. Never felt so fucking good in my life…so alive." He whispered before tugging himself out slowly, letting his head fall into Dean's collar bone before he slammed himself back in, just as he'd fantasized doing before. And he wanted to scream through that pleasure, but somewhere in his head he knew Meyer and Bobby were still around, so once again he bit down into Dean and whimpered feverishly into his skin, letting go of a few harsh sobs of pleasure as he clutched to Dean.
"Shit," Dean cursed, "Easy Sammy," He cooed stroking his hands through his brother's long hair until he released his jaw, panting.
"Sorry," He breathed, "Sorry, fuck…it's hard being quiet." Sam explained shaking his head before pulling out again and shoving himself back in, starting up a new rhythm grinding his teeth roughly.
Dean groaned, rumbling deep in his chest, "Yeah," He grunted as Sam's hips came flush up against his ass, "Know what you mean. Fuck," His hand clawed at Sam's back again, scrambling for purchase as he felt a familiar, but shockingly intense wave of heat flood his lower belly, "'M close Sammy." He sobbed before biting into his own white-knuckled fist.
"Oh Jesus fuck," Sam ground out pounding into Dean faster and faster, their skin slapping together obscenely in the otherwise quiet room, "Me too. I'm there Dean, fuck I'm there." He whispered before ducking his head into Dean's chest, his hips stuttering, losing their rhythm before he threw his head back and slammed in two more times, coming harder than he ever had in his life as he filled up his brother with his seed.
The friction of Sam's belly and his own rubbing over his dick, the feel of Sam's heat filling him up, watching the tortured expression of Sam's face as he came - mouth opened in a silent scream and nose scrunched, eye brows drawn close together - had Dean's balls tightening painfully up into his body before shooting his load more intensely than he thought possible, marking both their bodies with more of his release than he'd ever given at one time.
Sam's hips continued jerking unsteadily as he rode through every upsurge of his orgasm, his breath stuttering out of him as he finally ran out of breath, grunting sharp groans and whimpers as his head dropped down to nuzzle in Dean's neck.
Dean kept his teeth clenched tight around his fist, trying not to break too many layers of skin as he kept himself from screaming out, riding every wave of his high till it faded a little and then relaxing his jaw, dropping his hand and holding onto Sam frenziedly as they both finished.
Sam gripped Dean's shoulders and rolled them until they collapsed on their sides so he could relax, not being able to lay on Dean because of his belly, but wanting to stay inside his brother as long as he could, savoring the feeling and committing everything to memory.
Dean moved with Sam without question, still holding onto him as tight as he could with whatever energy he had left, and kissed him on the forehead, leaving his lips lingering there as they relaxed into the bed and indolently recovered.
A few minutes passed and their breathing had mostly returned to normal, their bodies still sapped of energy but completely sated and relaxed in each other's arms.
"It would sound really cliché to say 'that was amazing' right now, wouldn't it." Dean stated quietly, still speaking against Sam's sweat-slick forehead, "Besides amazing doesn't really cover it, does it."
Sam shook his head scooting closer into Dean's embrace, his spent and completely over-sensitive cock moving uncomfortably inside Dean's clenched hole. Sam hissed in a quite breath before stilling again in Dean's arms.
"No it doesn't, not even close." He agreed as his hand slowly began stroking up and down Dean's bareback, down to his ass and up to his neck, drawing goose bumps up into his damp skin.
Sam sighed, "Fuck, I'm gonna fall asleep if we don't move soon." He relented regretfully, "I can't imagine what would happen if Meyer or Bobby came in, or how your ass would feel tomorrow if we stayed like this all night." He chuckled lightly, ducking his head under Dean's chin to snuggle closer to him.
Dean nodded his full agreement, "Seriously," He breathed, "Don't wanna think about either of those things." He chuckled running a hand through Sam's hair and down his side to rest against his belly.
"Alright, then, I'm gonna pull out." Sam whispered backing his head away from Dean's chest to watch his brother's face, making sure that was okay. Dean nodded brushing a fingertip down Sam's face. Sam kept his eyes on Dean making sure nothing he did hurt him as he slowly pulled his hips back, keeping his hand firmly against Dean's side, wincing as his dick twitching painfully, slipping free. As soon as he was out Dean released the small breath he'd been holding and loosened his death grip on Sam, relaxing again.
"You good?" Sam asked lightly, still looking up at Dean as he opened his eyes.
"Never better Sammy." He promised, looking back into his eyes for a few stretching seconds "And I truly, honestly mean that." Dean whispered ducking his head down to kiss Sam once more, tenderly on the lips, showing every ounce of his love and devotion through that one humble touch.
"Thank you," Sam whispered into Dean's lips once they broke apart, "for sharing this with me. Trusting me enough." He said, his voice deep and hoarse in the silent room.
"There's no one else Sammy," He breathed back, "No one else in the world I could ever give this to."
Sam closed his eyes, feeling so much love and contentment and satisfaction swelling up in his heart he thought it just might explode right in his chest, and smiled gratefully against Dean's lips.
"I love you."
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