Timeline: Right after the last chapter

Rating: R for gore

Chapter 16

The Survival Instinct

"The jigsaw piece that I cut from my subjects was only ever meant to be a symbol that that subject was missing something. A vital piece of the human puzzle. The survival instinct." -Jigsaw, Saw II

"A lot of shit could go wrong, Amanda. In fact, I would be stunned if nothing went wrong. John's a lunatic or an idiot, or both."

She couldn't get Mark's condescending nagging out of her head. She wanted to smack him, even though he wasn't really lecturing her at the moment. That particular argument had taken place days before. One of many they'd had over the course of several weeks. Amanda couldn't help but hope that it wouldn't be the last. Her side ached as she forced herself to keep going. A sharp spasm of pain attacked her abdomen as she panted for air. It was one of the spots where a needle had punctured her. Her body begged for respite, but her will was too strong to oblige. Daniel was the one who nearly collapsed to the floor, tired and defeated.

Weakling! Her mind accused. Now it was John she heard, his voice echoing as though he were just a few feet away, telling her about natural selection, how humans have lost their edge, lost their instinct for survival.

"This is survival of the fittest at it's finest moment," John chuckled.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! she mentally chanted, silencing the raspy voice.

"Come on!" Amanda yelled, refusing to permit Daniel to give up just yet. She tugged his arm, pulling his exhausted body upwards.

"God damn it, get on your feet!" Amanda yelled. She yanked his shirt again. He reluctantly dragged on. At the pace they were going, Xavier would soon catch up with them. Her heart pulsated harder as the fear generated more adrenaline within her. Then her breath caught in her throat, and her ferociously beating heart nearly stopped for just a moment as they approached a very familiar door.

Amanda could hear Adam's muffled screams against the plastic pressed against his face. She could see the vaporization against the material, the evidence of his last breath. His corpse remained behind that door, and every part of her wanted to turn and run the other direction, even if it meant certain death.

How's that for a survival instinct, John?

Instead, she heaved the door open, exposing them to the disgusting stench of the bathroom. She flipped the light switch. The bulbs flickered on asynchronously, one row of florescent lights coming to life almost immediately after the previous row, like the introduction of a grand theater performance. Only instead of a star entertainer, the lights revealed two lifeless bodies, deprived of proper burial, decaying in the repulsive bathroom that was in a state of decay itself. The sight of them wasn't as horrifying as the smell. It was the furnace trap all over again. Amanda choked on the stench, then mustered up the strength to close the door. Daniel glanced around the room in absolute horror and shock. The blood soaked floor, the rusty saw blade, the tape recorder, and the shards of mirror scattered all over the floor reminded Amanda of that dreadful day. Their voices echoed in her head, as loud as if they were still alive in the room with her. She covered her mouth to suppress a scream.

My name is very fucking confused, what's your name?

He doesn't want us to cut through our chains. He wants us to cut through our feet...

Oh my god! Lawrence...No! No! Don't...

Daniel, completely oblivious to the screaming voices in Amanda's head, backed against the grimy wall and collapsed. The hacksaw appeared in his peripheral vision. His desperate and confused eyes lit up with hope for just a second.

"Amanda...I have an idea," he choked. Before he could fully explain, they heard Xavier's foreboding stomping as he tread towards the door.

"Pretend I'm dead," Daniel said. "I'll do the rest." He slouched beside the pipe opposite Amanda. His head leaned against the cold steel. She looked at him and thought that his face seemed pale enough to convince someone he had died.

Xavier's twisted laughter proceeded his entrance into the room. He staggered inside, his equilibrium becoming more distorted as time passed. He was as unbalanced as a gambler's checkbook. He leaned against the wall for stability. He waved the knife around. It served as a morbid greeting and a silent reminder of his power over them. The nonverbal threat made Amanda's shiver with fear. She felt paralyzed and freezing, as though her spine had been replaced with an icicle.

It took all her courage to look up at Xavier and whisper, "He's gone."

"It doesn't matter," he said, shrugging indifferently. "All I want is the number on the back of his neck. And then yours," he said, pointing the blade at Amanda.

They had come to a dead end. She was just going to be another corpse in the bathroom after Xavier finished with her. She wondered briefly if John would give her a proper burial or leave her in that room to rot with everyone else as just another failed test subject.

No! I won't fail!

She imagined Xavier gutting her like a hunter's wild game for the sheer sadistic enjoyment of it.

Keep him talking, Amanda. Make a deal with him. Anything to delay the inevitable.

"You still don't know your own number. How are you going to get it if I don't tell you?"

He looked dumbstruck for a moment. Then he turned around, looking for the mirror that Adam had smashed to pieces months ago. He touched the wall in disbelief. Then he glanced at the knife in his hand. He descended the blade behind his head, groping around the back of his neck.

No. No, he can't possibly...

Xavier stood up straight, looking towards the ceiling, bracing himself for what he was determined to do. He looked like a man praying to God, if only the omnipotent being hadn't given up on him and everyone else in the house of Jigsaw long ago.

Then he reached behind his head again and buried the knife into the back of his neck. The edge of the blade had weathered with time, so he had to apply more pressure to force it through the skin. He screamed as the pointed tip penetrated him deeper, yet he knew he couldn't stop until the skin was completely removed. He couldn't think about the ramifications of cutting too deeply and killing or paralyzing himself. He needed the number, that single digit that would play a role in saving his life. The tip of the knife burrowed into his open wound as he ripped the last piece of epidermis away, freeing the flimsy chunk of flesh that he needed. He gave Amanda a malicious and self-satisfied smile. He looked at the number and tucked it in his pocket.

Amanda tried to scoot backwards, but she was already pressed against the wall.

Game Over, Amanda, she thought. As he walked closer towards her, she instinctively darted away from Xavier, not caring if he got to Daniel first, just listening to her body's instinct that urged her in the direction of self-preservation.

Apparently Daniel was in tune with his own instincts, because he kicked Xavier in the leg as Amanda distracted him. Caught completely by surprise, he bend over, trying not to collapse. The poison pumping through his veins muddled his reaction time drastically. Before he could retaliate, Daniel had already grabbed the hacksaw and lifted it towards his neck. With one quick swipe, he sliced Xavier's throat. He fell to his knees, trying to apply pressure to the wound. The blood spewed out like a hole in a hose going full blast. No amount of pressure could cease the blood flow. It squirted everywhere. He grabbed Daniel's shirt with his bloody hand in either a futile attempt for help or revenge. Daniel shirked away, backing into Amanda, who was clutching him in panic and shock. She could feel Daniel quiver with fear and tears that streamed down his face as he watched Xavier collapse, and then flail helplessly on the ground, twisting and writhing in pain. A dark red puddle of blood formed around the gash in his throat. He stopped moving. His arms went limp at his side. His head fell back against the floor with a thud. The shock wore off of his face and his expression became relaxed and neutral. His mind descended into nothingness forever. If an afterlife existed, Xavier had now gotten on the waiting list for hell.

Daniel stood splattered in the blood from Xavier's fatal wound.

"What have I done?" Daniel whimpered. He dropped the hacksaw on the floor and looked at Amanda for answers. After a long pause in which she tried to gather her senses, she turned Daniel away from the newest victim of this house and towards herself.

"You did what you had to in order to survive. No one can blame you for that," Amanda said, attempting to provide some comfort.

I know the feeling...she thought, remembering her own game in the reverse bear trap.

"I...I cut his throat," Daniel said, still in denial. His conscious fought to understand what he'd just done. The gravity of his actions sunk in. His eyes darted around wildly, as though he had just begun hearing the voices that Amanda struggled to ignore. Everywhere he looked, blood and human remains reminded him of the blood spewing out of Xavier's throat in his final moments.

"Daniel, it's not your fault. He didn't follow the rules."

"Fuck the rules," Daniel yelled. "The psycho that put us here doesn't care about any rules. He just wants us to kill each other! And we just gave in..."

"He wants us to survive!" Amanda said. "Why don't you understand? It's a game. He's trying to help us!"

Her body stiffened in repressed anger. She could feel her words, body gestures, and facial expressions giving her secret away, but she couldn't help but defend him. It was all she knew. The thought of slandering John, of calling him a murderer and forsaking her creed for even a moment, would be surrendering to the possibility that Daniel was right. The possibility that everything she'd now devoted her life to was a lie, that John was a sinner under the pretense of a savior, and that she was no better. Daniel's accusations were wrong because to Amanda, they simply had to be.

"Help us?" Daniel said. His eyes quickly surveyed the carnage around them, and he shook his head in response, as though trying to shake away Amanda's words. He instinctively backed away from her. He opened his arms to emphasize their surroundings like a real estate agent at a showing. His gesture begged her to explain how she could justify her response.

"We have a chance to survive this. To walk away changed. Grateful. Redeemed.," she said, paraphrasing her idol.

"Did they?" he asked, shifting his eyes from Amanda to the bodies on the floor.

"They had a chance," she said. Amanda's head tilted defiantly as she spoke, daring him to disagree.

"Quit defending this jerk!" Daniel yelled. They stared at each other. Xavier's blood had not even finished oozing out of his body, and they were already turning against each other. He had left an aura of fear and mistrust in his demise.

"You don't know if they had a chance!" he said. "How could you possibly know? Unless..." he said, his voice trailing off, the silence an accusation in itself.

"How did you know where to find the recorder?" he said.

"What?" Amanda's hazel eyes bulged with surprise.

"In the first room. The room we woke up in. How did you know where the recorder was?"

"I...I stumbled across it," Amanda stuttered.

"I think there's more to it than that. Jonas was on to something. Why aren't we sick, Amanda? Why aren't we coughing up blood? Why did you instantly know there was a room under the safe?"

Amanda never anticipated an interrogation from meek, quiet Daniel. Her mouth gaped open stupidly like a fish. She couldn't offer a single answer. Paranoia festered inside of Daniel. Her eyes darted to the hacksaw still within Daniel's reach. As though reading her mind, he scooped it up. Fueled with adrenaline and panic, Daniel clinched the handle with so much force that the loose rust ingrained itself in his skin. He held it up menacingly at Amanda. She leaned against the dirty wall. Slime coated her arm, but she didn't notice until she felt herself slipping against the unctuous surface. She clutched one of the pipes to prevent herself from falling on top of Zep's rotting corpse.

"Amanda, I want the truth!" Daniel yelled.

Liar! You're a liar!

She heard Dr. Gordon screaming. She shook her head, mentally blocking out the auditory hallucinations that escalated in volume every moment, drowning out Daniel's demands and Amanda's stream of thoughts.

"Daniel, please," Amanda said. "Don't...don't..."

Her side throbbed with pain as she began hyperventilating. It felt like the needles were swimming through her veins, tearing apart her insides. The man who hurt her died, but the suffering he inflicted on her lingered. One of Amanda's hands gripped the pipe tighter, both to steady her body and her nerves, while the other clutched her side. Her eyes darted from the hacksaw in Daniel's trembling hand to his hardened face, then her eyes swept over to Xavier's body. She realized for the first time that she'd survived Xavier's rampage, but she had no idea what Daniel was capable of.

"Daniel," she whimpered, tilting her head to the side and pleading with her eyes like a wounded animal. She held up her hand to show Daniel the blood from the holes in her body.

"You were there. You saw how helpless I was. How can you even think about suspecting me?"

Daniel sighed deeply, his shoulders rising and falling as he shook his head.

"I don't know," he said. He lowered the hacksaw and dropped it onto the floor. It clanked against the tile.

"I'm sorry," he said. He stood there looking as helpless as she felt. Amanda looked down and sighed in relief. Then she heard a gasping sound, followed by the sound of choking. For an instant she imagined it was just another memory invading her mind, but when her head darted upwards, she saw Mark restraining Daniel in a choke hold, a syringe in one hand aimed at Daniel's neck, while the other arm held him pressed against Mark's chest, so he couldn't turn around and see his face. Daniel initially struggled, trying to pull out of Mark's grasp. He clawed at Mark's arms, inflicting nail marks in his skin. Eventually he succumbed to the drug. His body twitched and jerked, then he sank against Mark's chest, collapsing in his arms. Amanda gasped.

"He wasn't going to hurt me!"

"Relax," Mark said, holding Daniel's limp body upright as he spoke. "It's just a sedative."

Amanda sighed. The shock of Mark's presence waned quickly.

"You carry those syringes around in your pockets like they're tic-tacs."

"No," Mark chuckled, "John sure does though. You have to admit they come in handy sometimes."

She winced in pain. Mark looked concerned, his attention immediately shifting from Daniel to Amanda.

"What are you even doing here anyway?" Amanda asked.

"Saving you," he grumbled. "I expected a little more gratitude..."

"You could have been caught!" she said. "If Daniel hadn't been looking at me when you walked in..."

"Unbelievable," he said. "I risk my life to come to your aid, and I get a lecture instead of a thank you."

"Well, you're a little late to be the hero." She nodded her head in the direction of Xavier's body.

"Damn. What happened to him?"

"Daniel found his inner survival instinct," Amanda said, smiling through the pain.

"Won't Eric be proud," he said, shaking his head. He hoisted Daniel's body over his shoulder as though he weighed nothing. He was going to carry him out effortlessly, like a towel draped over his shoulder.

"I'm going to take Daniel to the car. Do you need me to come back to help you?"

"No," she said, grimacing both from physical agony and the thought of asking him for a favor, thus revealing how weak and helpless she felt.

"I'll take that as a yes," he said with a smirk. "I'll come back." He turned around and began walking towards the exit. Amanda gazed around at the bodies. Zep's gaping mouth emitted a nightmarish silent scream. Their voices still reverberated in the damp atmosphere.

You're too late!

I have to go get help, or I'm going to bleed to death...

Are we gonna be okay?

I wouldn't lie to you.

"Wait, don't leave me in here!" she shrieked. Mark stopped in his tracks. He looked around the bathroom and nodded his head in understanding.

"Okay, I'll take you out and leave him here for now. Not like he'll know the difference." He laid Daniel down on the ground, carefully positioning him away from all the blood and corpses. Mark walked towards Amanda. He flinched in surprise when she clutched him tightly, wrapping both arms around him to support herself. She buried her face in his shoulder to block out the horrors surrounding them. After the initial shock wore off, he placed a hand on her back. He remained gentle, wary of pressing against her wounds and causing her even more pain. She murmured against his neck. He couldn't decipher what she was saying. It sounded like a "Thank you," but he couldn't be sure that wasn't just wishful thinking. Then the tingling sensation on his neck from her whispering was replaced with the moisture of her tears.

"Let's get out of here," he said. Mark slipped a hand under her thigh and lifted her up, sliding his arm under her knees and the other beneath her shoulder blades.

"Put me down!" she shouted, but didn't attempt to resist. Nothing seemed worth the effort. "I asked you to help me, not carry me like I'm a baby or a crippled."

"But you are a crippled," he protested."And a baby."

"Shut up," she groaned. He smirked. Her little tantrum amused him. Mark glanced at Dr. Gordon's foot.

"Would you rather I put you down and let you limp out of here? It would take longer, and it would be more stressful on your body."

She wanted to continue arguing. It felt familiar to be bickering with Mark, and thus comforting, but she realized he had a legitimate point. The mere thought of climbing up the stairs seemed impossible.

"Fine. I'll let you carry me out, but no gloating. Now, or later."

"Thank you for complying...finally."

"At least now you get to play the hero," she muttered as Mark carried her out of the horrific room that had been the source of more than one haunting nightmare.

She pulled herself closer to him when they approached the steps, fearful that he would accidentally drop her. They remained wordless the entire way to the car. Once they approached Mark's vehicle, he eased her out of his arms and helped her get on her feet. She leaned against the fender as he reached for the door handle. He glanced at her. She was filthy and sweaty from her adventure. He tried to keep a straight face as he said, "I should really lay down some newspapers or sheets before I let you in..."

She smacked his arm.

"Jerk! Being nice to me didn't last long! Glad to see you're back to being your usual infuriating self," she said. She tried to sound playful, but she meant every word. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter.

"Get in. I'll just douse the interior with Febreze later."

She smiled. It felt good to be teased again. Now that she escaped the house, everything looked brighter. Hope was no longer a futile dream. Mark turned around to reenter the house for the unconscious teenage boy that was still laying among corpses in the grotesque underground bathroom.

"Mark," she called. Her mere voice calling out to him brought him to an immediate halt. He turned around in her direction.

"Yes?" he said.

"I didn't really think I was going to see you again," she said. She bit her lower lip. "I'll glad I did."

Amanda's checks turned a bashful tint of crimson. Her words brought an instant smile to his face. Mark wasn't sure what he should say, so he opted not to speak at all. He trudged back towards the house, mentally wary of having to return to the bathroom to retrieve Daniel. Once he disappeared into the house, she thought about what she had said and cringed, feeling stupid and impulsive. He hadn't even dignified her with a response. Maybe he thought she was irrational because of the trauma she had just endured. Then she remembered his smile that wasn't twisted with sarcasm or self-superiority. It wasn't the smug smile that had become his default expression anytime he teased or ridiculed her. This time, he flashed her a pure and genuine smile. She visualized that brief moment of tenderness over and over again in her mind. The repetition and the warm feeling it generated within her eased her into sleep before Mark returned with Daniel.

Author's Note: Special thanks to Kalika Barlow for editing this chapter. Thank you SO much! It really helped me. Did you hear that everyone?

*Amanda voice*

"She helped me."