Hey guys! Ashley here. I'm happy to see that some of you guys are liking this story! I would just like to apologize in advance of how sad this tale is going to be. I'M SO SORRY ;A; but yeah, this chapter's a little cute so I figured I'd bring you all up just to bring you down again. Because I'm horrible like that :I. The BreadstiX scene here is based on the 3x04 "Pot O' Gold" episode, but not entirely. I pulled some stuff from the show, but just know that this story is completely AU (but this is FanFiction, everything is AU anyways lulz). So, enjoy! :)

I fell asleep that night, in Brittany's hospital bed. She spooned me, wrapping her arm around my waist, and I felt warm and safe in her embrace. I found myself pulled into the dream world, pulled into flashbacks of events that brought warmth to my heart.

"Are we dating?"

Brittany looked up from her spaghetti and meatballs in my direction, making my heart jump and my face warm. Okay, that question was really blunt and out of nowhere, and I sort of blurted it out. But it was a question that had been eating at me for weeks – months even, ever since we lost nationals. It was now a new school year, and I was still unsure if Brittany and I were dating.

We had been through so much. We started off as just the best of friends that liked to occasionally hook up. I was fine with our relationship. At least, I thought I did until I started feeling weird about her somewhere in junior year. I eventually found myself confessing my love for her, something I realized was the reason for all my hate and anger for everyone. But then I was forced to watch her be with Stubbles McCripplepants for months, even after I told her I loved her. She insisted she loved me back, but I was pissed when she wouldn't break up with fucking Four-Eyes. I can't say I wasn't ecstatic when the pair broke up, but that was because the dickhead called Brittany stupid. He was lucky I didn't push his wheeling ass down a bunch of stairs.

But now Brittany and I were together. Right? Ugh, that was what confused me. We never officially said we were girlfriends. We just continued to act the way we usually act, just with feeling involved. How funny, I used to think it was best with no feelings involved. But I was so wrong. It was way better with feelings.

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked me with a confused expression on her face.

I looked away, suddenly finding myself too shy to explain. What the hell, since when was I so shy? Damn Brittany, always bringing out the worst in me. Or perhaps it was the best in me. Whatever it was, Brittany was the only one who could pull it out. It was like she had some kind of superpower or something.

"I mean…us. Is there an us? Like, are we…girlfriends?" I finally looked at her, her sparkling sapphire eyes full of life.

Her thin pink lips extended into a smile, and my face felt even hotter. I must've been blushing like crazy, which was gross to me because I didn't usually blush. Unless I was around Brittany of course. Oh man, my stomach was feeling sick because of those stupid butterflies.

Her hand slithered over to mine which was resting by my untouched plate, and her long skinny fingers touched my caramel skin affectionately. The air was feeling pretty heavy at the moment, and I was pretty sure I was going to suffocate and die. But if I died I would never find out the answer to my question. I needed to know, damn it.

"I thought we've been together all the time silly," she told me, stroking the top of my hand with her thumb. I bit my lip, wanting to smile but I couldn't seem to. My heart was trying to rip out of my chest, and my ears were getting deaf from the pounding sound of war drums. Her answer was exactly what I wanted to hear, but my body was going insane because it wasn't sure how to react. My love for her increased greatly, I knew. But just how happy I was to hear her answer?

"Well…um…" Fuck, I couldn't even speak. I looked away in hopes that I could remember how to speak English by not looking at her, but it still didn't work. Damn it!

I heard her giggle. "Sannie, we're girlfriends. Relax."

I looked at her, my eyes suddenly watery. Her smile faded as she saw my eyes moistening, and she was afraid that I was hurt by something she said.

"Why are you crying?" she asked me with a frown, her grip on my hand tightening.

Finally I smiled, and her frown straightened out.

"I'm just…really happy," I told her. I wrapped both my hands around her one hand, and I wanted to kiss it. I really did. But I wasn't out yet, and I didn't want publicly out myself just by kissing the hand of my wonderful girlfriend. People in Lima were such homophobic bitches. I wasn't ready to come out yet, and probably would never be ready until college. Lesbians went to college all the time right? At least I'd be more accepted in whatever college I was planning to go to. Though honestly I wasn't even sure where to go for college.

"I'm happy too," Brittany said with a slight nod, her smile even bigger. There was a pink hue on her cheeks, the kind that I always found so adorable. A tiny laugh escaped my lips, and I released her hand before I really did end up kissing it.

"San?"

"Yeah Britt?"

Her smile went away and instead she bit her lip and looked away, like she was afraid to ask me something. I blinked, taking a guess on what she was about to say but waiting for her to spit it out. She should've known to never be afraid to ask me or tell me anything, I didn't blow up at her like I did with most people.

"Why don't, y'know, tell other people about…us? And you, mostly you…it's not good to keep all this inside." Her thumb lightly tapped on the table as she spoke, and she still didn't make eye contact with me.

"Britt, I told you already…"

She nodded, but then shook her head. "I know, but…we're seniors now. It's not going to matter if people find out this year, right?"

I shook my head in response. I told her countless times that I wasn't ready, and if she was going to push this then it was going to be a problem. Did she not see what happened to Kurt when he was outed? Years of bullying and being made fun of, he was the ultimate loser at McKinley. That was what would happen to me if people found out. I'd be damned if I let that happen to me in my last year of high school. That was not the way to go out with a bang.

"Britt, this is our last year. Our last year to be what we've made people believe we've been our entire school lives. I'm not ready, okay? But I promise when we graduate I'll come out to my family, and then we can be as open and free when we're both in college, okay?"

She frowned, which made me frown. How was she not happy with my answer? Graduation was only a few months away! It took years for us to be what we were now, she could manage a few more months. Unless she was frowning for a different reason.

"I don't think I'll even go to college, San."

I tilted my head to the side and gave her a what-the-fuck-are-you-talking-about expression. Who was this Brittany? The Brittany I knew was optimistic about everything, so optimistic I sometimes felt I would vomit out sunshine just from being in her presence. But she was putting herself down?

"Brittany Susan Pierce, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

She finally looked at me, and even though those beautiful sparkles were having at it in her gorgeous gems, there was sorrow in there somewhere, hiding behind the sparkles. No, my Britt-Britt wasn't going to think like this. She was going to college, and I was going to make sure of it.

"I'm already starting to fail all my classes, San. I might never even graduate."

I couldn't say I was outstanding with my grades either, but both my parents were rich so I didn't really care. I didn't have to push myself education-wise if my parents were able to support me if I failed. But Brittany's parents weren't my parents, there was no way they'd be able to pay for a super expensive college. Even then, though, if Brittany failed all her classes she wouldn't be able to get that diploma.

"Get a tutor," I found myself saying. A tutor? Who the hell in McKinley was selfless enough to help someone else?

"A tooter?" Brittany blinked in confusion. "San, I only did cocaine once and that was because I thought it was sugar. Plus, how is that supposed to help me?"

I covered my mouth and let out a laugh, completing disregarding the fact that she just confessed to me that she snorted cocaine one, and shook my head. "No silly, a tutor. Like, a person who helps you with your school stuff."

Brittany looked away for a moment, as if deep in thought. I sat there, looking at her thinking, wondering what the hell was so complicated about getting a tutor. Then again, it was Brittany, and she was simpler than most people. But that was okay, I loved her the way she was. She was what was right about this stupid, cruel, disgusting world. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. People would kill to be as happy and innocent as she was.

She finally looked at me with widened eyes. "That's a great idea San! But it has to be someone smart."

I rolled my eyes. "Well duh, getting a stupid tutor would do nothing for you."

She tapped her chin with her finger, looking through all the possibilities of a tutor. "I could always ask Mike, or Tina, or…"

She was definitely naming them because they were Asian, which made me want to laugh. I raised a hand to silence her, and she obeyed, her thin lips forming a smile.

"Just go to school tomorrow and see who you want," I told her, and she nodded in agreement.

I think we were pretty much finished with dinner, even though I didn't really touch my food. I looked for the waitress so she could give us the check, and when she was in my view I made a hand gesture that look similar to writing a check so she could get the hint. The old hag got the idea and went off to go get it, and when I looked back at Brittany there was a confused look on her face.

"Aren't we going to dine n' dash?" she asked.

Usually we did dine n' dash, and it was a wonder how the hell we got away with it every time. It was the same waitress every time, too. Maybe it was an old lady thing, forgetting everything ever five seconds. What was that called? Al Zimers? No that sounded more like a person, how the hell do you…okay just forget it.

I smiled at her. "The man always pays on the date."

She giggled, and it made me let out a short chuckle.

"Mister Lopez?" Brittany giggled some more.

"That doesn't mean I'm the butch one though, just so you know." I pointed a defensive finger at her, but I still smiled. Me, Santana Lopez, a butch? I would never chop all my hair off, my name wasn't Quinn Fabray. Speaking of Quinn though, she turned into a fucking psychopath this year. Oh well.

"I love you, Santana."

My heart once more tried to rip out of my chest, and the heat was not only on my face but all over my body. Especially my sweet spot. It was weird to be turned on after having someone tell me they loved me, but it was Brittany Pierce, for God's sake. I would be worried if I wasn't turned on in her presence.

Her smile stretched, and that must've been because my face was so red it covered every inch of caramel skin. I gave her a pearly white smile, and told her what both she and me wanted to hear.

"I love you too Brittany."

But as I said this, there was something in the back of my mind. A voice, a voice that sounded a lot like Brittany's.

"Tell them about us," it spoke. "You're not ashamed of us are you? You're ready, aren't you? Love, love, love. You love me, why not tell the world?"

"I'm not ready," I told the voice. "Britt, I'm not ready. Someday, I promise. Give me time. Please."

Please.

I woke up suddenly to complete darkness. What time was it? The only noises heard were the sounds of breathing from both Brittany and me, and the beeping of the EKG. Stable heartbeat, good. The last thing I wanted was for her to die while I was in her embrace.

She was going to be okay, I knew she was. She was Brittany Pierce, the cure of any ailment. Her smile could stop world hunger, her dancing could resurrect the dead. She was the one bit of happiness in this world. She didn't have cancer, she couldn't. Mike was wrong, so wrong. He was going to do those tests, and they were going to come out negative. My wife was not sick, she was as healthy as anyone could be. I told myself this, I assured myself this.

So then why did I suddenly to sobbing silently to myself?