A/N: As I mentioned last chapter, this chapter has some Arthur and Alfred moments. I know that the anime made their interactions really fluffy but ehh, my Arthur is insane. Who says he has to be straightforward about his feelings when he already has America? He can say one thing and do another. Why? Because he's freaking England and no one can question his Arthurcentrism.

Editing this chapter with my friends was hilarious. Credits to Codename Chester for helping my fairytale and making it epic and for Codename Minerva's critical eye and helping make Arthur creepier (and for being the thesaurus lady she is).

Warnings: Language, historical inaccuracy, potential OOCness, Canadian spelling, weekly updates, more creepy England, slight verbal abuse, odd fairy tales, drama, etc…

Characters: USA, and England. Mentions of fem!Canada and France.

Pairings: Dark!UK x US. Yeah... I can't explain the relationship this chapter.

Slight Fem!Canada x USA. How I do this is bizarre.

Slight Fem!Canada x UK. You might see it better under a microscope at 1000x magnification.

Word count: 3070

Disclaimers: Last time I checked, I still didn't own Hetalia. I'm sure that I don't own it now. And I want to own a cat (If you find Japanese bobtails and Irish folds just hanging around, contact Minerva via smoke signals. Or an interpretive dance video uploaded onto YouTube).

White Lies and Strange Fairy Tales

Were fairy tales ever supposed to be this grotesque?

When Arthur arrived at his colony, the Dominion of New England, he was in a foul mood. The trip so far was horrendous, to put it mildly. The time it took to travel through the bleak landscapes would blacken anyone's mood. His foul mood was further exacerbated by the fact that the revolution was beginning to take a toll, physically and mentally, upon him. He approved of the revolution since he ardently despised the bastard he had to acknowledge as his liege. Yet at times it felt as if his body was being ripped apart, and he could only curse and grit his teeth against the pain. There was also the bloody war going on simultaneously. Arthur adored bloodshed; there was no doubt about it, but the pain lessened the joy of having his bloodlust sated. The sole highlight of trip was stumbling upon the meek colony. The encounter had aroused his desires to grasp, to conquer, to dominate everything graced by the sun.

The carriage abruptly stopped, jolting Arthur out of his ruminations. They had arrived at their destination.

Before exiting the carriage, Arthur mentally prepared himself for his visit with Alfred. It was apt to say that Alfred was a sweet, naïve, and adorable boy. Being around the brat sickened Arthur. How he abhorred the innocence surrounding the boy. It made him want to taint the boy, wanted the sky blue eyes to darken. How he desired to push the boy to the brink, and make it so that Alfred was so desolate, so broken that he threw himself off the cliff into abyss. The sole thing Arthur appreciated in Alfred was his loyalty. His loyalty to the Empire made Arthur proud to know that at least some people enjoyed his company (unlike his accursed brothers who were laughing at his misfortunes. They would be dealt with soon enough though, and most definitely would blood be spilt. Oh, how he loved the metallic tang of the crimson liquid).

Exiting the carriage, Arthur critically surveyed the grounds. Nothing seemed amiss. He nodded to himself briskly in satisfaction. Using his ivory cane as a means to steady himself (damn his aching leg), Arthur slowly walked to the door with his head up high.

Curse that mangy, wrenched beast. Daring to gnaw at my leg and ruining my trousers. The first thing I'll do when I acquire the girl is to shoot that accused thing. Its blasted head will make a nice mantelpiece, and I'm sure my hunting dogs will enjoy devouring its carcass.

When Arthur had managed to subtly limp his way to the door, a servant automatically opened it for him. They had expected him to arrive sooner but understood why he was delayed.

The servant quickly took Arthur's coat and cane and asked if there was anything he needed to retrieve from the coach. Arthur coolly replied in the negative, stating that his luggage would remain on the ship since he did not plan on staying past high noon. He received a brisk nod and a quick bow from the servant who then whisked his articles away.

Glancing around the entrance, Alfred was nowhere in sight. Usually the young colony would jump on Arthur the moment he entered (in which he would then be scolded for not showing respect).

"Little whelp should be honoured that I'm visiting him instead of my other colonies. He should have scurried to welcome me," he muttered under his breath.

Arthur unsteadily walked to the one place where he knew Alfred would be- the backyard.

Sighing to himself, Arthur thought 'He better not have ruined my rose bushes like the last time or he'll earn more than just a few thorns up his backside.' The elder nation stopped at the backdoor and slowly turned the knob to gently open the door.

As expected, Alfred was there.

The young nation was running around, his white nightgown (very similar to the one she had, Arthur thought) fluttering with each movement, trying to catch a butterfly.

"Hey! Wait up! I'm not going to hurt you!" The child yelled. "I'm not scary at all so let me catch you!"

With a leap, Alfred caught his prey. Its wings crumpled in his hands and it stilled.

"H-huh?" He examined the butterfly, "W-why won't you move?" Tears began to form in his eyes. "Are you okay? I was supposed to c-catch you a-and w-we... together a-and play"

The butterfly didn't move but Alfred couldn't accept that. Taking Alfred's tenacity, and the futility of it, into consideration, Arthur quickly stepped in so he wouldn't have to deal with anymore tears.

"Alfred, stop your pathetic sniffling. You are a nation, so act with some dignity befitting that fact and cease being such a snot-nosed brat."

"Arthur!" Alfred sniffled, yet at the same time looked thrilled to see his caretaker.

The young colony quickly smeared the remnants of the bug all over his frilly frock in a sad attempt to clean his hands; he would not be touching Arthur anytime soon with those filthy things. Upon closer examination, the frock wasn't pure white like hers was. It was far from clean, as the thing was covered in fresh grass stains, mud, something oddly resembling thorns from his bush (why how dare- must keep calm or I'll ruin my chances), and newly acquired stains from a now long forgotten bug.

Alfred always had been good at forgetting what he was doing when Arthur was around. This only made the elder nation smirk at how important he was to the naïve thing. But Arthur was not here to commend this. Far from that.

"Alfred, I see you have ruined my rose bushes that I carefully took care of. You know full well how I do not tolerate you smashing the petals in your silly games."

Alfred could only look down. He knew crying would not solve anything. That was the first thing he learned from Arthur. The second was to be more mature (but Alfred knew that Arthur wouldn't even try to enforce this rule yet until the first thing he was to was achieved. Too bad for Arthur that Alfred wasn't very keen on getting past that).

"I'm sorry," he sniffled.

"And?"

"And I promise not to do it again."

"Do you know why you won't do it again?" Arthur never missed an opportunity to instill respect into any of his colonies.

"Because it's improper and heroes don't make people sad."

"Incorrect. You better get that-" an idea suddenly struck the Englishman's mind. Acting bashful to cover his sentence up, Arthur quickly changed the direction of his sentence. "One cannot be a hero unless they are valiant and risk their lives to protect those who need help, you know."

This utterly shocked the colony. Arthur had never (never ever) approved of Alfred's desire to be a hero. He would always wave it off as immature, but here was Arthur telling the young nation how to be a hero. This made the colony jittery with excitement.

"Really?"

"Of course. I would tell you more on how to be a hero but... I feel you're just not ready."

"Not ready? I'm ready. Look! I am ready!" He attempted to do a handstand and promptly fell onto his back.

"I don't know. With what has been going around in the Thirteen Colonies, I feel I cannot trust you with this."

"What do you mean, Arthur?" he said, standing back up.

"I feel worried that you might betray me," a lone tear fell from the Englishman's cat-like eye.

"Don't worry! I will be loyal to you and even if my people aren't happy with you, I'll make them understand that you're a nice person."

How adorable. And easy to manipulate too.

"Promise?"

"Promise!"

"Hmmm," Arthur mused to himself, "I suppose I can allow this to pass just once. It is that Roman Catholic's fault that this mess started so it's only fair to allow a little chaos spread." He began to darkly chuckle to himself.

"Arthur!" Alfred desperately yelled for attention. He never liked it when England did that.

"Yes?" Drawled Arthur. His mind was still clouded by fits of insanity and burning desire.

"I heard that you were leaving later today."

"Oh?" Feigning an apologetic look, Arthur quickly replied, "I'm sorry I can't stay longer. Things are not going well. I would love to spend more time with you but I feel like I won't be able to for a while. I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I'll wait for your return. You always come back!" The young boy beamed.

"Of course I do. I enjoy travelling here to meet you." The lie slipped smoothly from Arthur's silver tongue. He despised visiting his clingy colonies. Only the frog did that and his way of controlling his colonies was too expensive. Colonies were supposed to produce capital. Their purpose was to serve the empire and its desires. Nothing else.

"You're the best, Arthur!"

"Thank you."

"Hey Arthur, mind reading me a story before you go?" His ocean blue eyes averted from Arthur's emerald ones while a small blush bashfully crept onto his skin.

Her eyes were much darker and her skin fairer.

"Of course I will. I'll get the maids to clean you up a bit and I'll tell you a story in the library."

"The library! You never let me go there!"

"It has been a long time since I saw you last so I thought that I would give you a treat."

A treat indeed for me if everything goes as planned.

Double doors opened to reveal the library, a magical world in Alfred's eyes.

It served as Arthur's study whenever he visited. At all other times, the room would be locked, at least until Alfred grew up.

Thick books covered the shelves that made up the walls in the room. An antique desk with an ornate chair stood prominently at the furthest end. The window behind the desk flooded the room with light, giving the room a magical feel.

Arthur leaned back in a large leather armchair with a distinct noble air about it. Alfred enthusiastically bounced upon the matching footstool. This time, there was no book in the man's hand which confused the child greatly.

"Arthur, I thought you were going to tell a story!"

"I am, so just sit down lad."

"Where is your book?"

"You don't always need a book to tell a story. Now, no more questions."

Once upon a time, there was a young knight, Prince Alfred.

"Hey! He has my name!"

That knight had an elder brother named King Arthur.

"And that's your name!"

King Arthur had recently been having troubles with the neighbouring nation to the north. There would often be land disputes between the two nations, each one worse than the last. Borders changed with such frequency that living in one country one month and in the other the next became normal occurrence for some.

Both nations wished to increase their territory to benefit their people. This was what the King of the South, Arthur, thought until one day...

Arthur's scouts stationed in the North came back with a disturbing report. The neighbouring nation was ruled by a cruel, old warlock King who went by Francis Bonnefoy, who abused his citizens and imposed heavy grain taxes on the peasants, effectively starving them. Francis had stolen power from the last King by kidnapping the princess and locking her away in the highest tower in the castle. The current tensions between the North and South were the all the warlock's construction.

"No! Arthur has got to do something!"

"Patience, Alfred. Patience."

At the realization that the wars could be ended by taking care of the Warlock, Arthur dispatched his army to lay siege to the enemy capital and free the princess. Leading the South's army was none other than Arthur's brother, Alfred.

Alfred had great potential for strength. He knew his assignment to save the princess would be very dangerous, but he unwaveringly trusted his brother, and a hero would never back away from saving a damsel in distress.

"Alfred better get his princess back!"

The nation to the north was different than the one Alfred was used to. It was colder and snowed there for much of the year, but the knight would not let that get to him. He had to defeat the evil warlock and save the princess.

There were countless battles leading up to the siege of the capital. The smaller northern army was beginning to look battered. Their defence was pitiful in the face of the might of the northern army.

Leaving the clearing of the city to the rest of his army, Alfred took it upon himself to slay the evil warlock and save what would be his princess.

Alfred threw his grappling hook made of spider silk (the royal weavers had made it for just this occasion), over the battlements' wall and climbed to the top. He vaulted off the wall and onto the soft grass the courtyard, which was deserted save for a maid who shrieked and ran when he hit the ground. The night was beautiful. The only sounds that could be heard were the cicadas in the garden and the muffled yells of his men taking over the town. The prince kicked down one of the doors leading into into the castle, and tried to get his bearings to head towards the centre of the castle where he knew the Great Hall would be. The hallways had tapestries depicting orgies on velvet and silk, which muffled the echo of his footfalls as he ran down one of the main arteries of the castle. Abruptly, the hallway ended in a hall which at one end had the doors to what Alfred assumed was the Great Hall. He pushed open the door and stepped into the opulent yet oppressive room where the Frog sat on his throne of skulls in all his gaudy glory.

"Release the princess, you filthy scoundrel!" shouted Alfred, taking a step forward and drawing his gleaming sword, Emrys.

"Hon hon hon," the warlock chortled, "Why should I? The princess and this kingdom are mine! Now turn tail before I'm tempted to turn you into a frog and eat your legs!"

"Scum! I shall not rest until this kingdom is free from your wretched clutches!"

"Since you insist, I suppose I have no choice," replied Francis , and he morphed into a vicious ochre dragon.

The dragon exhaled his sour gaseous breath and clacked his teeth together to produce ignition. The blue-tinged flames surged towards the knight and the Prince could only fling himself behind a pillar for protection. Being burnt into a crisp was not how he hoped this day would end.

The flames ceased as abruptly as they had begun. Alfred pulled away from the now warm pillar and dashed to the other end of the room while the dragon inhaled again. He had seen a small rope from the other end of the room, and hoped that it was what he thought it was; a chandelier cable, attached to the grand crystal chandelier on the ceiling.

The dragon saw what he was about to do, but it was too late. Alfred sliced through the rope and the chandelier fell towards its destiny, smashing into the dragon's head with a dull thump and a tinkle. Francis fell, stunned, to the floor.

Alfred ran towards the struggling warlock, sword streaming out behind him. With a war cry fit for the gods, he plunged Emrys into the dragon's breast. The warlock screamed and was forced back into his natural form before he fell to the ground, dead. As proof of his victory, Alfred lopped off Francis's head and stuck it onto the end of one of the ceremonial spears in the room. He propped the new decoration up against the throne to show the Northern King's supporters who the real leaders of this land should be; the Southerners.

It was now time to free the princess. Alfred ran to the top of the highest tower, along the way wiping his sword on the obscene tapestries. He came upon the last door in the tower and ripped it open. He was awed at what he saw there.

Her golden tresses cascaded down her back and her mauve eyes, initially filled with fear at the door flying open, were as warm as the sun. The young knight was smitten. He had found his damsel.

"Who are you?" Her voice was melodious, and matched her appearance and stature completely.

"My name is Alfred and I am the knight who has fought evil beasts to see you to your safety."

"For that, I thank you but I must ask you something. Did you come from the south?"

"Yes. Our nations have battled for too long, and I hope that you will bring peace to our feud."

"I hope so. From what I can see, you have gone through much hardship. Thank you for everything."

The princess gracefully moved towards the knight and gave him a peck on his forehead.

The knight sputtered at such sign of affection. He quickly took the maiden's hand kissed the back of it.

"It is my pleasure…"

"Madison. I am Madison."

"I see. The pleasure is mine, Madison."

With the rescue of the princess and the defeat of the warlock, the wars concluded. The two nations were forever joined after that by a bond of marriage, creating one of the most powerful kingdoms the world had ever seen. As for the prince and princess, they lived happily ever with Arthur reigning benevolently over the entire continent.

"That was an amazing story, Arthur!"

"Of course it was, I only tell the best. It's such a shame though," the elder nation sighed.

"What is?"

"The colony north of you. The poor thing is living under that horrid France's rule."

"What?" Alfred screamed, "You mean that my damsel needs help?"

"She does. You'll be able to save her, won't you? Just like the Alfred in the story."

"Of course!"

Arthur lifted Alfred up and stroked his sandy-blond locks, a cruel smirk adorning his lips.

Marvellous. Simply marvellous.

For the remainder of his stay and on the voyage back home, Arthur's thoughts were in a state of chaos.

Things were beginning to fall into place, just as the threads began to fray.

A/N: The hero has found his damsel in the distress. I wonder if she'll approve of her self-proclaimed hero. My Alfred is messed in a disturbing yet innocent way. I really need to stop doing that to characters. Like seriously.

Next chapter, I'll try to sum up King William's War as best I can though it might end up being some huge chapter. The war's intention is only a build up of course. Fun things will happen during the signing of the treaty. Fun indeed... unless you're a certain someone.

I might as well all warn you that the next few chapters may be like that but that's how things roll. I do feel sorry for the lack of Mapletea, but you'll get what you later.

I'll try to clear some things here if it wasn't too obvious from the story:

1. Due to the Glorious Revolution, there was a collapse of the Dominion of New England and the overthrow of the Province of Maryland's government. The governor at the time was Edmund Andros and many law implementations, especially those concerning taxes, were not liked amongst the people.

When news reached of the overthrow of James II, the colonists of Boston revolted on April 18, 1689. The Dominion of New England then dissolved back into their previous forms of government.

2. The Roman Catholic Arthur was referring to was James II. His religious tolerance and his religious beliefs were not well-liked amongst his subjects. The Bill of Rights passed in 1689 prevented any Roman Catholic to ascend the throne or royalty to marry one.

3. In case if any of you were wondering about Alfred's age, he's still not of the age to wear men's clothing in this time period. He's around the age of 4 and usually boys would be breeched when they are the age of 5.

Madison is about the same age of Alfred.

If there are any mistakes, feel free tell me.

There won't be an update for this story next week. It'll take some time before I can complete the chapter. Instead I will be releasing a JapanUK oneshot. Feel free to read it if you want.