You And Me:
Jane's eyelids fluttered as a familiar shadow stretched over her, blocking the dim red light of the sunset as it filtered in through the open window. As the detective's sleep-blurred vision began to clear, she saw a beautiful face hovering a few inches above her own. For once, she didn't mind being woken up by a visitor.
Slowly, Maura Isles leaned closer, pausing for just a moment before taking the plunge and pressing her lips against Jane's. For one brief second, all of the discomfort and frustration melted away from Jane's body. Maura tasted like warmth and lipgloss and something sweet, a taste Jane was used to and had learned to enjoy. The seated woman let out a soft groan when her sometimes-lover pulled back an inch, just enough to give Jane room to breathe.
"How is your exit wound doing?" Maura murmured a breath away from Jane's lips.
"Hurts a little."
"And your stomach?"
"That hurts too," Jane mumbled, not protesting as Maura leaned in to nuzzle her cheek. Despite the clinical mask she wore on the job and the cold perceptions some of her coworkers had of her, Maura could be a very tender and emotional woman.
"And your love life?"
The detective smiled softly. "Could be better." Maura took the joke for what it was and gave Jane another brief kiss before turning on the light beside her bed. The sunlight would be gone in another few minutes. "Nice dress," Jane said, allowing herself the luxury of admiring Maura from the top of her head to her fancy wedged shoes.
"You like it?" The medical examiner stepped back and did a brief turn-around to give her friend a full view of the knee-length, summery dress. "This is the first time I've worn it. Wearing cheerful clothes tends to boost my mood." So did visiting Jane, but Maura decided not to mention that.
"I do. A little fancy for a hospital, though. You know that I think you look just as sexy and sophisticated in scrubs."
Maura took the compliment in stride and stroked the side of Jane's face. "How alliterative. I just came by to say hello. I spent all morning in the autopsy room."
"Did you meet with Mr. Weaver?" Jane asked. "God, that guy nearly gave me a heart attack."
The medical examiner nodded. "As a matter of fact, I did. He seemed satisfied with the limited information I was able to give him, at least for the moment."
"Have you heard back from the lab about Rose?"
Maura debated whether or not to say anything, but eventually decided that the bored detective needed to get her thrills somehow. She deliberately tried not to think about the 'thrills' she had given Jane the previous night. "Yes. I believe she overdosed on some medications she was taking, but don't tell anyone I actually came to a conclusion before officially releasing the results of the autopsy."
"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." Maura stepped closer to the bed, reaching behind Jane to adjust her pillows. For once, the detective allowed Maura to mother her without too much protest, although she did give a small, frustrated eye roll. "Tell me more about the autopsy."
"Well, she had several times the recommended dosage of Raloxifene in her system. It's a drug that influences your hormones in order to slow or prevent the growth of breast tumors."
"So you think the Hospital messed up?" Jane propped herself up on the pillow that Maura had adjusted, feeling surprisingly comfortable, if a little anxious.
"Maybe," Maura said, "but you know how much I hate drawing conclusions too soon. Raloxifene is the kind of drug they would prescribe to someone with breast cancer, but hospitals measure out the doses they give their patients very carefully." Jane seemed unconvinced. "Everyone makes mistakes, even doctors and nurses," she insisted.
"What other explanation is there? Aside from somebody trying to kill her deliberately..." The brunette paused. Something... something about this whole situation wasn't right. Her detective instincts had never led her wrong before. "You know, that would be a really sneaky way to get rid of somebody," she said, voicing her brainwave aloud. "Say you think your wife, or your mother, I guess, is dying. You're waiting on your inheritance, right? Then she starts to get better. If you greased the wheels a bit and got your hands on some of the same stuff they use to treat cancer... make it look like an accident..."
Maura felt a pulse of sympathy for Jane. Her poor friend was obviously under a lot of stress if she was coming up with wild ideas like that. "Well, it would make a great story, Jane, but I think you're letting your imagination run away with you. Killing your wife or mother in the hospital is even more farfetched than a doctor or nurse giving their patient the wrong dosage."
But the more she thought about it, the more Jane's strange little theory seemed to whisper at the back of her brain. There were two separate SERMs in Rose's toxicology report, and they weren't a pair that was often prescribed together. The levels of Raloxifene in her system were several hundred times over the usual dosage. Doctors and nurses measured things incorrectly once in a while, but how often did they miscalculate by that much?
Besides, the behavior of Rose's son had been very peculiar, and he had been so insistent on receiving the results of her autopsy as soon as possible, even going so far as to threaten Jane.
"Think about it, Maur," said the detective. "Something feels fishy to me. I swear I'm not just watching too much TV on bedrest."
Although she still had her doubts, Maura had to admit that Jane had a point. This entire situation was definitely unusual. Besides, even if Jane was wrong, it couldn't hurt to investigate further.
"Maybe I can smuggle your laptop in here." Jane's doctor didn't want her hunched over a computer doing work while she was supposed to be recovering, but Maura knew Jane would find some way around her restrictions with her help or without. It was much easier to just give in. "I have a feeling you'll need to do a little research."
Jane gave Maura a grateful smile. Although she wasn't ready to subscribe to Jane's theory yet – and the detective fully admitted that it was a crazy-sounding theory – her friend was willing to back her play. Maura was always reliable that way. Kind, helpful, funny, sweet... well, not always sweet, but she could be when she felt like it. She could also be a pain in the ass.
"I've been doing some thinking, Maura..."
The medical examiner perched delicately on the side of Jane's bed. She began massaging the detective's shoulders, loosening the knots behind the wings of her shoulder blades. "That's good. About what?"
"About..." Jane didn't feel comfortable enough to use the word 'us', even though it had a lot of bearing on what she wanted to say. "You said the other day that you have strong feelings for me, and you don't know what they mean."
Maura nodded her head, and then realized that Jane couldn't see behind her. "I do. I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable. The last thing I want to do is add any stress to your recovery."
"Well..." Jane had been tossing her mother's advice over and over in her mind. As much as she hated to admit it, Angela Rizzoli was right about most things. Besides, for some reason, having her ma pester her about a girlfriend seemed much less annoying than having her ma pester her about a boyfriend/future son-in-law. She wasn't ready for the girlfriend step, not nearly, but she didn't want Maura's cards to sit on the table all by themselves. She had to play her hand eventually. "My feelings for you are changing too. I don't know what that means yet, and it's kind of uncomfortable... oooh, right there. That feels really good," she groaned as Maura's thumbs dug in to a particularly sensitive knot.
"My room mate in college said I had magic hands," Maura informed her.
"I know. So, we can keep the status quo right now? I don't want to stop being your friend, and I don't want to stop the benefits part either. But maybe we can agree to revisit this discussion a little later? After we've had some time to think."
The medical examiner smiled and continued rolling the pads of her thumbs over the knot behind Jane's shoulder blade. "Of course, Jane. I thought we already agreed to that."
"Yeah. I guess I wanted you to know that your feelings, whatever they are, don't upset me. They might even be a good thing. We'll see."
Maura had sporadic bouts of social awkwardness, but she was also very smart, and she was very in-tune with Jane's emotions. This was a huge step for her friend, and Maura accepted it for what it was – Jane's first tentative overtures towards the idea of a relationship. "Does it bother you?" she asked on impulse as she considered the fallout that both of them would have to deal with if they ever did formalize their relationship.
"Does what bother me?" Jane asked. She leaned her head back, groaning with pleasure as Maura's small but strong hands worked along her neck and began rubbing her scalp. "Umm, that feels amazing."
"Being with a woman sexually." Maura was careful to avoid the term 'lesbian'. She had learned the hard way that Jane had very negative reactions to that word. She wasn't homophobic by any means, but hated being labeled. As far as Maura knew, no one in Jane's social circle was aware that she had ever been with a woman.
Jane thought about it for a moment, and then decided to answer honestly. "Yeah, it does. First of all, I grew up learning it was wrong. I have no idea why my Ma seems to be all gung-ho about wanting me to date you."
Maura laughed. "You don't give your mother enough credit, Jane." She pressed a kiss to the top of the detective's head.
"Then there's the whole butch cop thing. Lots of people, especially ones that don't take the time to get to know me, just assume I am. I don't like that. What do they know about me? If they ever found out that we were sleeping together, or that I was sleeping with any woman, it would just confirm all the awful things everyone has said about me since grade school... I'm a person, you know? I don't want one little word to erase the rest of me."
"I think I understand. If I came out, I would be the fashionable medical examiner who just happened to be bisexual. If you did... you would be the lesbian cop. It would come before everything else when people looked at you."
"Exactly." Jane sighed. "To be honest, I don't know what I am. Definitely not straight, though. I thought I might be bisexual, or maybe just attracted to you, but lately..." the brunette's voice trailed off. The thought was too dangerous to finish, even in her mind. "Can we talk about something else? This is heavy stuff."
Maura stopped her massage of Jane's scalp and let the detective recline against her. She was touched by how comfortable her friend seemed to be with touching her, being near her, especially during such an awkward conversation. A few weeks ago, Jane would have been too nervous to let Maura hold her like this. "Let's say your theory about the murder is right, and I'm not saying it is," she added cautiously. "How would we go about proving it?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?" Maura teased. "You're supposed to be the detective."
Jane rolled her eyes. "I'm a detective on bedrest."
"You're still the best detective I know." Jane was too good at concealing her emotions to let a blush show on her face, but she did feel a little warm at the compliment.
"Can you get Rose Heissman's medical charts?"
"Already done. That's why the appearance of Raloxifene in her bloodwork was so strange. It wasn't listed."
"Then there was definitely a mistake. We're going to have to figure out where that medicine came from. That should lead us to our killer, and if I'm right, it's Mr. Heissman or Mr. Weaver. My money's on Weaver."
Maura still wasn't sure, but she decided that letting Jane pursue her little off-the-clock "murder" wouldn't do any harm... unless someone else found out about it. "Jane, I don't think you should mention this to anyone else just yet," the medical examiner said. "Wait until you have more than a series of coincidences."
"Right. Once I get my first lead, then I'll say something to Korsak and Frost. For now, it's just you and me."
'You and me.' Maura liked the sound of that.