I'm SO sorry it took me like, a month to write this chapter. I was suffering from severe writer's block, but I finally managed to pull through and complete this chapter! So sorry for the wait guys! And not only do I have this chapter up, but I'm also working on a new fic as well! Yeehaw!

And also guys, I have a tumblr! mrsnayamarierivera[dot]tumblr[dot]com. Come down and say hello! :) Enjoy!

Quinn Fabray knew about us.

Shit!

I hadn't gotten much sleep since she found out, the fear of my secret being exposed ruining my desires to sleep. Was she going to tell on us? It'd been days since she found out, and I hadn't seen her since. That stupid pink-haired bitch, was she going to try shit?

When she found out, all she had done was smile after making her comment and walked away, leaving a half-naked me and a heated up Brittany in the icy November weather under the bleachers. Paranoia reached a whole new level with me, and I was sure Quinn was going to rat me out. After all, we hadn't been friends since last year, and she got all fucked up in the head after Finn screwed her over for that stupid Jew.

I was so fucked, everyone was going to find out.

My hands were shaking as I searched for my needed book in my locker. School sucked now as I was almost pissing myself looking to see if anyone was giving me dirty looks or talking behind my back. So far it appeared that no one knew my secret, but maybe people were playing me. I was going to die, oh my God.

When I closed my locker, I jumped at the sight of a smirking Puckerman leaning against the locker next to me.

"Jesus Puck, don't fucking pop out of nowhere like that!" I snapped.

The smirk didn't disappear from his face. Oh shit, did he know?

"So jumpy Lopez, relax."

Oh God, he knew didn't he? His smirk was giving me a heart attack.

"What do you want Puck?" I rolled my eyes, trying to pass off that I was perfectly calm but my racing heart would've said otherwise.

He suddenly snapped his fingers and spun around so he was on the other side of me. His look wasn't that of knowing something, but rather…victorious. Like he won something. Did he finally find a new fuck buddy?

"Guess who's Quinn Fabray's latest lovuh?"

I grimaced. Ew, Quinn and Puck? Well wait, no that couple actually made sense. Both punks, both total losers. Wow, it was a match made in hell. But since when was Puckerman interested in someone like Quinn? Did the whole bad girl image turn him on? Yeah. That made sense.

"Ugh, you and Quinn? Gross."

The smirk disappeared from his face. "What's wrong with that?"

I was going to be brutally honest with him. "Sorry Puckerman, everyone knows Sam and Quinn are meant to be."

Now he looked pissed. Did he want to fight? I had no problem with that. I was going to have beat the shit out of his girlfriend anyway since she found out about me.

"What the fuck, Santana?" He was being defensive, which just told me that he knew I was right. "Sam and Quinn are over. Quinn dumped his ass for Finn."

I laughed. "Is that what you think? Oh Puck, you're so fucking retarded." I sympathetically pat his shoulder, a cruel smile on my face. "There was a legitimate reason why Quinn went with Finn, but hey, guess there's no point in talking about that." I began to walk away but Puck suddenly grabbed my arm, a little rougher than I would've wanted but I expected it.

"Santana, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Everything I was saying was bullshit of course, I just wanted to attack Quinn before she attacked me and told everyone I was a lesbian. It was better to at least hit first, right? She really did leave Sam for Finn, the dumbass, and I didn't even know if Quinn still had feelings for the thick-lipped blonde. I only knew from Sam's end, as it was obvious that he still wasn't over her. But I wanted to start a fight, just 'cause.

I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing, but I was still grinning. This was getting to be really fun.

"They still love each other Puckerman," I told him, telling a half-truth. "Quinn just has a horrible habit of dropping things that make her happy. She's a spoiled rich white girl, after all."

Puck's face hardened, and his dark eyes looked like they were going to shoot lasers at me. I was sure I succeeded with putting the idea in his head that his girlfriend was possibly cheating on him emotionally. Good, if Quinn was going to fuck up my life the least I could do was fuck around with hers.

"Keep a close eye on her Noah." I only said his first name whenever I was mocking him. "Just saying." I shrugged and finally walked away, leaving Puck to think about what I just said.

I didn't walk too far down the hall when Brittany appeared at my side, a smile on her face. I could never really tell if she smiled just because she saw me, or that she just liked to smile. Either way, her smile made me smile, and the butterflies started to kick in.

"Hi!" she said cheerfully.

"Hey."

She held out a piece of paper and waved it excitedly.

"Guess what I got on my special ed math test?" Her smile grew, and she held it up to my face so I could see the grade.

A C-plus.

"Oh my God!" I jumped up at her success, and I immediately pulled her into a hug. Of course, I wanted to kiss her – or better yet, drag her into a corner and reward her the Santana Lopez way - but the boundaries of being a closeted lesbian kept me from such affection. She was going to get some later though, I planned on it.

"I know! I'm so happy that tooters do something other than just help you snort cocaine!"

I laughed, choosing to not correct her. "Well Miss Pierce, I'm very proud of you."

Her eyes sparkled like mad at my approval, and I fell in love with her all over again. Falling in love felt awesome, especially when the person loved you back. I was so happy to be hers.

She decided to push it a little and pecked me on the cheek, but I wasn't upset. No one would think anything more about a kiss on the cheek. But damn it, I wanted so much more at that moment.

"So you're not going to be mad if Artie keeps tutoring me?"

My stomach pulsed with anger at the mention of Stubbles, but we already had an argument over this and I knew I needed to calm down. I didn't want to lose her because I was being totally stupid and jealous, even if she was too good for me. I forced a smile at the moment, so she could at least believe I didn't have a problem with it.

"If he keeps making sure you have grades like that, I'm perfectly fine with it."

She hopped up and down excitedly, and I could tell that she wanted to kiss me just as much as I wanted to kiss her.

Quinn was going to tell everyone anyway. Why not?

No, not yet. I wasn't going to push myself out of the closet. And plus, I wasn't even sure Quinn was going to out me. Though I guess I should've thought about that before I decided to mess with her new relationship. Oops.

"I have cooking class now, so I'll see you later?" She squeezed my hand lovingly, trying to substitute it for a kiss.

I smiled. "Of course."

Normal couples would've kissed each other goodbye, but we simply nodded at each other, just imagining us being openly affectionate and kissing each other. Why the fuck didn't God make me a guy? Shit would've been so much easier.

Brittany turned to leave, and I just stood there to watch her. I had gym, I was in no rush.

The back of her head was just as cute as the front.

But then the perfect image was ruined by the appearance of a wheelchair fucktard rolling right in front of Brittany and smiling at her. Ugh, that look in his eyes. It was disgusting. Could he make it any more obvious that he was still into my girlfriend? At least I knew Brittany wasn't into him like that, she saved the looks of admiration for me. I had no reason to be jealous. She was mine.

I still didn't want to witness this scene though. I quickly turned around and rushed down the hall. Did I seriously want to go to gym? Nah, I would definitely cut.

As I turned the corner, I saw a group of football players hunched up together by a few lockers. I paid no mind to it at it first, and just walked by, but when I heard the banging noise of something being hit against a locker and the cry of a familiar voice, I turned around.

Was that Kurt?

"C'mon faggot," said one of the football morons, Karofsky. "Fight back for once! Stop being a typical fag!"

Shit, I had to do something.

"Go away Karofksy. And tell your band of meatheads to piss off too!"

"Oh, Hummel grew some balls!" A bang sound.

I immediately ran over and pushed one of the assholes away to get to Kurt.

"Hey dickwads, leave him alone!" I yelled, turning to face all of them and shielding Kurt. Kurt had to deal with their shit everyday, especially since he first came out. Unfortunately what he was going through was the exact same thing I feared would happen to me if I ever came out. Surely Brittany understood that?

Karofsky smirked. "Oh, hey there Santana. What's a fine thang like you doing here?"

Okay, gross. "You did not just say 'thang'. Please, leave retarded-sounding gangster words to Biggie Smalls over there." I gestured at Azimio, whose cocky smile disappeared immediately at my rather racist and insulting remark. I was Santana fucking Lopez, what did you expect?

"Oh c'mon baby that was unnecessary," Azimio muttered.

I raised a finger at him. "Don't call me baby. Please."

"Anyway, get out of our way Santana, we're not done with Mr. Faggot over there," Karofsky said.

I crossed my arms and straightened up so he knew that I wasn't going to budge. "How about you fuck off Karofsky? Or do I have to rip you a new one?"

Karofsky took a step forward, and his hand twitched like he was about to use it. Was he about to hit me? Really? What a pussy, hitting a girl. I almost dared him to. I burned into his skin with my gaze, daring him to make a move. And he was going to, I could tell. His hand twitched again and his mouth opened to say something, but someone else's voice behind him was heard instead.

"Hey! Leave my brother alone!" The voice of Jigglyboobs McJiggleson.

Finn grabbed Karofsky from behind and pulled him away from Kurt and me, putting his fists up like he wanted to go all Street Fighter on someone. It was fucking hilarious, and I couldn't help but let out a laugh. Finn looked at me for a moment, confused at what I was laughing at, but his eyes went back to Karofsky.

"Oh look, it's Butt Boy's gay twin," Karofsky growled.

Finn's face was as red as the zit on Karofsky's forehead - gross - and he looked like he was constipated with fury. It was always fun watching him get pissed, he was like a two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum.

"Shut up Karofsky!" Finn pushed Karofsky, but then Azimio jumped in and grabbed Finn. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, so I just stood by Kurt to make sure that he wasn't harmed.

"Yo Finn, calm the hell down and stop helping out Homo over here!"

Karofsky just stared at Finn furiously, and Finn seemed to calm down for a moment. I could tell that he still wanted to punch Karofsky, but considering he was greatly outnumbered it didn't seem to be a good idea to start a fight.

"Get off me man," he yelled at Azimio, shaking him off. He stepped backwards so he was near Kurt and me, and he stared at each football player individually to make sure they didn't try anything.

I decided to chime in. "Well if you guys have had enough gay bashing for one day, I'll be taking Kurt to a non-asshole zone." I grabbed Kurt's arm and began to pull him away.

Karofsky took a step towards us, but Finn mimicked him by stepping closer to him. He was definitely willing to start a fight if Karofsky was going to continue being a dick, and I didn't want to be around when that happened. Well, I kind of did but I didn't want Kurt to accidentally get hurt because of them.

"Leave it Karofsky," Finn demanded.

Finn was giving us a head start, so I pulled Kurt away and down the hall. I wasn't going to bother looking back, it was deadly silent behind us and I'm sure it was because Finn and Karofsky were having an intense stare-down. Good for them.

"Thanks Santana," Kurt told me quietly, looking down at his feet. I smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

"Any time. I just can't believe it's our senior year and they're still being assholes."

Kurt bit his lip, and even though he wasn't looking at me I could see his eyes beginning to water. Oh no, I couldn't handle him crying in front of me. I always felt useless when someone cried in front of me because I never knew what to do.

"Hey," I told him, stopping him and lifting his chin in my finger so he was forced to look at me. "Don't cry."

Me telling him not to try just caused him to break down and sob. Damn it.

All that I felt like I could do was hold him, so I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug. Why the hell was he deciding to cry right now? Couldn't he go to Berry or someone else who was able to handle this kind of thing?

"Sometimes I really wish I never came out Santana," he cried into my shoulder. I patted him lightly on his back, not really planning to let go of our hug.

"Don't say that Kurt," I told him, but I was lying because he really shouldn't have. He was perfectly fine until he came out, and now every day was hell for him because of that. Exactly why I would never come out.

"No, it's true. Everyone here is so cruel, and they don't even know me!" He pulled away from me and wiped his eyes. "I know I should be happy that I'm able to be myself, but I'm so afraid all the time."

I ran my fingers through Kurt's hair sympathetically. Holy shit, it was soft. If Brittany felt a chunk of this she would never let it go. Gay guys have such pretty hair.

"No Kurt, don't regret what you did," I was talking out of my ass now. But if lying made him feel better then whatever. "You're brave. A lot of people here are just a bunch of pussies." Like me. "You have no idea how many people would kill to be just like you."

Kurt smiled at me, his bright blue eyes moist but no longer running. But the way he was looking at me almost made me want to tell him that I was one of those pussies. That I was the complete opposite of him. Artie and Quinn were the only ones who knew about us, what's one more person going to hurt? Kurt was gay, he would understand me.

But I couldn't tell him. Artie only knew because he used logic. And Quinn only knew because she walked in on me and Brittany. I never thought of telling anyone. So I kept silent.

"Thanks so much Santana," Kurt told me. His eyes were looking less puffy now, which meant he wasn't going to cry anymore. Good. "I'm sorry that I call you Satan behind your back."

What the f-. I squinted my eyes at him, but I decided to not pursue the subject. I was trying to be nice and he was lucky, so I would let him off the hook this time. "Just…go," I muttered.

Kurt gave me one last smile before walking away. I followed him for a couple of steps until I stopped by a corner, and I leaned against the wall with my arms crossed. I couldn't help but watch Kurt as he walked away. Even after he nearly had his face pounded into he still walked with such grace and confidence. I admired him. He was what I wanted to be.

And I was sure he was what Brittany wanted me to be as well.

"Wow, look at Santana being a saint."

The voice was behind me. I turned around and came face-to-face with the world's largest pink-haired STD.

"Quinn," I muttered. What was she doing here? And how much did she see?

There was a cigarette in her hand – a lit cigarette at that – and she blew out a puff of smoke before smiling at me. This new Quinn was really gross, even for my standards. I preferred it when she was a clean, innocent Sandra Dee who was repulsed by the thought of sex before marriage and was as tight as a latex gimp suit. Now I'm sure she had every STD known to man and was probably looser than I was.

"You've been full of surprises lately Santana," she told me with a smirk. Was she trying to say something?

"Same with you, Q. I don't know which is grosser, the fact that you're now addicted to Marlboro or you're letting Puck inside of you on a daily basis." I grimaced.

She laughed and inhaled more smoke from that little white cig of hers. It was traumatizing just watching her. I smoked a lot – something Britt didn't really approve of – but it was completely different watching Quinn do it. It just…it wasn't right.

"I guess you can say I found myself," she told me as she exhaled smoke.

I rolled my eyes. "This isn't finding yourself Quinn. This is you having a mental breakdown because you can never seem to let yourself be happy."

The smirk vanished from her face immediately and was replaced with a defined frown. Oh, that hit a nerve, she looked pissed. I smirked instead. If she wanted to fight I had no problem with it.

"Says the one who's too scared to even tell Kurt that she's in love with another girl."

Oh hell no. I gritted my teeth and stomped over to her so I was only a few inches from her face. "Shut the fuck up Quinn."

She inhaled more smoke and blows it in my face, making me cough and wave it away. I had no problem ripping her stupid Pepto-Bismol hair out of her fucking scalp.

"I'm not here to attack you Santana," she said quietly, but she was still smirking which confused me.

"Then what the fuck are you here for Q? You're no longer relevant in my life since you shut me and the entire glee club out."

Her smirked weakened but not because she was hurt. She was trying to get serious.

"You're hurting Santana," she whispered. She dropped her cigarette and stepped on it with her biker boot to put it out. "Now I understand why you've been like this all these years. You've held everything inside and as retaliation you attack everyone."

I stepped away. "Don't fucking act like you know me Quinn."

"But I do San. I've known you for four years. Don't think I don't know you."

I pointed an accusing finger at her. "If anything it's you that doesn't know you. Figure yourself out first before accusing me of being a bitch because of these internal feelings you claim I have."

Her hazel eyes looked away for a moment, and I could tell she was seriously thinking about what I said. I didn't even know her anymore. She'd been fucked up ever since she broke up with Sam - even though everyone thought it was after she broke up with Finn, but I knew better than that because she was crazy for breaking up with Sam in the first place – and she was this new nicotine addict that was just…ugh, gross.

"You're fucking crazy for letting Sam date Oprah," I continued. Her bottom lip twitched. I hit a soft spot.

"Sam likes Mercedes now," she told me coolly. "He deserves better. I'm happy for him."

I let out an obnoxious laugh. "You're kidding me, right? He might be a nerd but he was good for you Quinn. I don't know what's with you and ruining everything that makes you happy but –"

"I didn't come here to talk about me and Sam, Santana!" she snapped.

"And I'm not here to talk about me and Britt," I snapped back.

She opened her mouth to say something else, but she was so mad and frustrated that all she let out was a groan. "I give up, Santana. You're impossible to talk to." But look who's talking? God. She turned around to leave, but she looked back and said something before she walked away.

"Just know I'm not planning to tell anyone about you and Brittany, okay?"

Well, that statement actually made me feel like shit and regret fell on my shoulders for what I told Puck. Even when she was bat-shit she was still my friend to an extent, and as usual I repaid her by being an asshole. Now, as she walked down the hall and out of sight, I could only hope that Puck wouldn't bring up Sam in conversation.

Fuck.

"So you want to have a baby, Brittany?" Quinn asked Brittany after they finished going through her bucket list.

Brittany nodded enthusiastically, and I bit my lip.

"Well." Quinn smiled and looked directly at me. There was sadness in her eyes but there was also plea in them. "I think that's a great idea."

I had to break the gaze. I looked at the door. If I looked at Quinn any longer I would end up crying. I couldn't believe she was on Brittany's side.

I couldn't deny Brittany this wish. It wasn't fair to her. It was her bucket list for God's sake. I admit, I was being selfish on my part because I didn't want to deal with the kid after Brittany's death. But if Brittany wanted it, how could I say no?

I didn't want to do it. But it had to be for her.

I looked in Quinn and Brittany's direction, and now they were both looking at me. Blue and hazel eyes. Staring right into my soul. Please Santana, they told me. Don't stop us.

I couldn't. I needed to do this.

I swallowed hard. Even my heart was telling me to do this for Brittany. It ached on purpose to push me to say the words. Say them Santana, my heart pleaded. For Brittany. For you.

"I guess we'll have to figure out how we're going to make this work."

That was the closest I'd been to making Brittany's eyes sparkle again.