Nothings bigger than love – chapter four
"Sawyer baby come to mama" Peyton said sitting in the rocking chair in her daughter's bedroom. The sun was trying to break free from the clouds; Peyton laughed and then yawned as she looked down at her energetic baby running around in front of her, she so wanted to know where Sawyer got her endless supply of energy so that she could tap into that because she wouldn't lie, she had loved her sleep when she was younger and didn't have Sawyer and while she was certainly getting used to the early mornings she wasn't adjusting as well as she would have liked. "Sawyer" Peyton had gotten up and let Lucas sleep in for a bit longer, she knew it wouldn't be much, probably about twenty minutes but it was the thought that count and he would most certainly do the same for her. "If you don't come to mama, mama will have to come to you" she said as Sawyer looked over to her and giggled "Right that is it I'm going to get you" Peyton said getting up from the rocking chair with a smile on her face ready to chase her daughter, Sawyer made a break for the door, looking back mischievously at her mum but before she could get to the door she was stopped, with a look of surprise she looked up to see what had stopped her , Her father's legs stood between her and the door, Lucas looked down at her with a smile still looking groggy from waking up. Peyton took this opportunity to get to the little girl and tickle her before hoisting her into the air and resting her on her hip.
"Good Morning Baby girl" Lucas said kissing Sawyer's forehead "And Good morning Baby Mama" he said before going in to kiss her on the lips, he was interrupted by his daughters hand between his and Peyton's mouths, Now Peyton was giggling "I thought that they weren't supposed to be creeped out by parents kissing till later"
"Oh No, It is always gross" Peyton said smiling and kissing her daughters hand, Sawyer's hand moved then to rest on Peyton's shoulder as she nuzzled into the space between her mother's neck and shoulder.
"I might just have to try when she is not looking" he said again going In to kiss her, this time he got the kiss but as he pulled away the doorbell sounded, making them both look at each other in confusion. It was the sort of the look that they got when anyone visited because well no one ever planned or promised to visit, they were taking road trips most of the time and friends and family knew that and planned to meet them somewhere on the way, so a ring of the doorbell was shocking to them on the best of days. "Who visits us at six in the morning?"
"Your drug dealer" said Peyton with a laugh "If it's Dan send out a *CAW* and we will head to the panic room"
"You stay here and crack jokes and I will go and get the door" he said smiling and walking out of their daughter's bedroom
"Daddy is getting the door baby" Peyton said bouncing the little girl up and down as she continued to stay connected to her mother
"Peyton it's for you" he yelled up the hallway from his spot in front of the visitor in the doorway.
"Who could it be?" said Peyton while Sawyer unattached herself from her mother's neck and looked up towards her mum curiously. Peyton walked to the front door and looked at the petite frame in the doorway, she was blonde and even though Peyton hadn't seen her in a very long time she instantly recognised her "Jenny?" she managed to get out as a surprised look appeared upon her face as the girl in the door nodded "Little Jenny Jagielski oh my god. It's Jenny Jagielski like Jenny, baby Jenny"
"Can I please come in?" the teenage girl worked up all her courage to say, she had made it all the way here and while she had remembered the stories her father had told her and recognised her from the pictures she so wished that when she had seen Peyton a flood of memories of her with Peyton would all of a sudden materialise and she would recognise her not from the pictures but the memories she herself had, but she couldn't.
"Of course you can" Peyton said before practically throwing Sawyer at Lucas, the moment she saw Jenny all the memories she had shared with the little girl materialised, she had missed this girl, often wondering how she was and who she was, but she had felt ashamed the last time she had left Jake and Jenny in Savannah and she had remained too scared to send an email or pick up the phone, she so wanted to, to check up on Jake and the girl that she absolutely adored, so she walked towards the girl just wanting to hold her so that this seemed less of a dream but as she got closer the blonde burst into tears and that vulnerability took Peyton back to when she was a teenager, and she brought the girl into a tight hug "You're okay, It's all going to be okay" she soothed, those were the words in high school that she would never believe but so desperately needed to hear. Lucas walked past his wife and shut the door behind them before pointing to the hallway and indicating which direction he was heading in, Peyton nodded already drawing her attention back to Jenny. "Do you want to talk about it?" Peyton asked and as the words left her mouth she felt Jenny pull away
"I shouldn't have come here" she said as she got out of Peyton's hold and stepped backwards towards the door.
"Don't be ridiculous, come sit down with me" she said with an understanding yet concerned smile "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to" she knew herself that she wouldn't want to talk about her problems when the idea of expressing them was forced upon her.
"Okay" she said as Peyton lead her to the couch, she sat down and Peyton sat down next to her, putting a supporting hand on Jenny's leg.
"Where is your dad honey?" she said before Jenny began to cry again and then all of a sudden she started telling Peyton exactly why she was there, like the mention of her father had knocked down that wall that choked her words.
"Next week my mum is getting married to this guy Josh, he is really nice and I really like him but my mum and dad have been getting along lately and I just thought…" she said before her words again got choked up.
"You thought that they would get back together again" Peyton said in a questioning tone as the girl nodded at her
"It was just upsetting me and I didn't want to tell them because I was afraid that they would laugh at me and all my dreams would be crushed, but they were getting crushed already and I just couldn't take it so I got out the phone book and looked for all the Peyton Sawyers, but none of them were you, so I called my grandparents in Tree Hill and told them that I would really like to get in contact with you but that I couldn't find you in the phone book and they told me that you had married Lucas Scott and that you had left Tree Hill however they didn't know where you had gone and that I should call this Haley chick, So I did and I told her who I was and she got really excited which was weird" that statement made Peyton laugh because she could imagine it exactly "So I grabbed my mums bank card and brought a train ticket and well that's how I got here"
"Wow, you have been on a little adventure then haven't you" she said with a smile "Does anyone know you are here?" she asked all of a sudden concern hit her like a brick wall
"Well it is mum's weekend and she is so preoccupied with wedding stuff so I told her I was going to spend the weekend at a friend's house, and of course dad thinks I am with my mum"
"Your dad is going to absolutely freak when he finds out that you are not where you are supposed to be"
"Please don't tell him, I don't want him to know that I am upset cause he will take it to heart, Plus he will be upset that I didn't confide in him, so please, please don't tell him" she pleaded
A sudden realisation hit Peyton and even though the words hurt to come out she knew that she had to ask this question "How do you even remember who I am?" she said it and by the look of hurt on Jenny's face she knew that she had worded it wrong "I mean" she said beginning to clarify what she actually meant "The last time I saw you, you couldn't have been more than two"
"Dad misses Tree Hill immensely, you can tell just by looking into his eyes, it is right there staring at you, and so his eyes would light up and he would get all excited when I asked him to tell me about it, about his life there, about the people he knew. So we would sit down and he would tell me all these Tree Hill stories, mainly about you, he would even show me these pictures that he had. And I loved it so much, when I was having a bad day I would wish that I was in Tree Hill with my grandparents and my dad and Peyton Sawyer, You know he would always tell me about how much he missed you and how much he had loved you" she said looking straight at Peyton, this girl wasn't shy about any of this stuff, she said it as though it was fact, that she knew it all but not from the stories her father had told her but as though she had lived it herself, the stuff she was saying was so close to moving Peyton to tears "I used to ask him why he didn't call you or visit you when I was staying with mum, and he just said that at a certain point the mystic of Tree Hill rubbed away and he knew that life had to be lived and that he had to let you live yours now." She said it which such certainty and Peyton listened as tears ran down her cheeks. "Once when mum and I were fighting I told her that I wished that she had of left me in Tree Hill with you and my dad because then at least I would have a proper mum, she practically turned fireball red and called dad, yelling at him to come and pick me up before she killed me" Peyton wanted to laugh at that for those years that Nicki had attempted to make her life a living hell, but she remembered that Jenny had said that Nicki and Jake were getting on better she thought that if Jake could forgive Nicki for all the stuff that went down that she should do the same. Jenny was finished talking, she had let a sufficient amount out and now she was waiting for Peyton to respond, and Peyton knew this but just was speechless, Jenny picked up on this and changed the subject "So it that your baby?"
"Yeah that is my daughter Sawyer, she just turned one the other week" Peyton said with a smile
"She is gorgeous" Jenny said also smiling before she let out an enormous yawn
"How about you crash in my spare room, No one your age should be up this early" Peyton said as Jenny nodded, Peyton helped her up from the couch and walked her up the hallway
"So who is Haley?" she asked as she followed
"She is my sister in law and my husband's best friend, we all went to high school together and she still lives in Tree Hill, she used to work at Karen's café with your dad"
"Is she the brunette?" Jenny asked going back in her mind and remembering the photos that her father had shown her.
"Yeah, she adored you" Peyton said remembering back to the days when Jenny was a baby in Tree Hill, they reached the red door and as Jenny head in she turned back around to Peyton
"Do you miss Tree Hill at all?" she asked
"Every single day" Peyton said with a smile
"It's in your eyes as well" Jenny said before thanking her for the room and shutting the door.
X-x-x-x-x-x
Peyton paced up and down the living room and kitchen area, back and forth, back and forth. Lucas tried to talk to her but she was so fixated on her own thoughts that she didn't even notice. At some point Lucas had handed Sawyer to Peyton and left to do some odd jobs just out of the town that they were living in but throughout it all Peyton just continued to Pace. Peyton finally decided what to do, and without even a flinch she picked up the phone and dialled Jake's number, she hoped that he hadn't moved or changed the number, she sighed a small sigh of relief when she heard his voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello it is Jake" For a moment she just listened to the silence, too afraid to speak a word, it had been so long since she had last heard his voice. "Hello" he repeated and this time she finally worked up the courage.
"Hey Jake it is Peyton" she swore she heard his breath catch on the other end of the receiver
"Wow! Long-time no talk" he said and she could tell that he had a smile on his face, it was so funny that you could have not been romantically involved with someone for so long or even speak to someone for so long yet know their mannerisms so intimately, She forgot the severity of the situation and found herself smiling. "Jenny will be so pissed that you called when she was at Nicki's, she is completely and totally fascinated by you" she felt herself gulp out of instinct
"Speaking of Jenny, well umm" she said attempting to keep the courage that had made her call him in the first place.
"What is going on Peyton?" he said and by the tone of his voice she could tell that he was confused and concerned at the same time and that all the way in Savannah his eye brows were arched.
"Look I don't know where you think Jenny is but…"
"She is at Nicki's" he interrupted
"Actually" Peyton let out a nervous giggle and she knew that he could tell it was one because of his tone "She is in my spare bedroom Jake"
"Doing what?" he said with a laugh, not knowing what was actually going on at this very moment
"Sleeping"
"What the hell is she doing in Tree Hill?" he said his tone all of a sudden getting very serious
"Well actually I don't live in Tree Hill at the moment, Lucas and I…Not the point Peyton not the point" she said attempting to get herself back on the right wave length "She showed up on my doorstep this morning saying that she needed a break"
"Did you invite her?" he said practically ignoring what Peyton had said
"What? No Jake I didn't" she could hear the anger in his voice
"Then why would she be there? It's not like you have had ANY contact with her since she was two"
"Jake none of that matters, Stop yelling, No amount of it will change this weird scenario we are in right now. All I know is that your daughter, who by the way I have missed and thought about pretty much every day since I left you two in Savannah and who I adore with all my heart and by the way you were the one that sent me away, I was ready to marry you" Peyton's cheeks were red hot, she had all of sudden been thrust back into high school, she was so happy with Lucas but it didn't mean she couldn't get worked up about this "I loved you both so much, and I felt so guilty for just leaving and I hated myself for so long for not being there for that girl Jake, but it wasn't my place anymore" she recognised she was so off topic "I mean All I know it that your daughter is in my spare bedroom and I thought that I would be considerate and call you even though she asked me not to"
"Peyton" he said with this vulnerability in his voice as though he was taken aback by her sudden outburst.
"You know what, you deserved to know so I have done my duty so goodbye" she said, she couldn't really work out why she was so irrationally angry
"Peyton"
"What?" she snapped
"Where are you?" he said clearly as though he had been emotionally drained by all of this
X-x-x-x-x-x
Jenny woke up in the spare bedroom; she stepped out of it and headed towards the noisiest part of the small beach home which happened to lead her to Sawyer's nursery. Peyton was sprawled out on the floor as Sawyer sat on top of her, Jenny was all of a sudden mesmerised by the idea of how Peyton Sawyer was with her when she was as young as Sawyer and it made her crave that closeness again. Peyton finally realised that Jenny was standing in the doorway; she had been relieved after her conversation with Jake but now for the second part of that conversation.
"Hey Jenny did you sleep well?" Peyton asked lifting Sawyer off her as she began to stand.
"Yeah I did" she said matching the smile on Peyton's face
"This is Sawyer, Sawyer this is Jenny she used to be as small as you were and very special to mummy"
"Thank you for letting me crash here" she said not letting herself react to it all until she was in some sort of private space
"Don't thank me yet, I called your dad" she just let it out, it seemed like the best way.
"You what?"
"He needed to know where you were and that you were okay"
"He thought he knew where I was and everything was fine"
"And then what? What happens when they found out that you weren't at that sleepover"
"I trusted you. I shouldn't have come here" said Jenny storming out of the room
Peyton turned to Sawyer and looked at her in the eyes "And I thought your tantrums were bad"
X-x-x-x-x-x
To be continued.