A/N: I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review and add this story to your alerts and/or favourites. I really appreciate it.
This chapter includes a little bit of Lanie and Martha.
Disclaimer: not mine. I'm just borrowing them for fun.
(Updated version - spotted a few errors)
Chapter 5 - You could be happy
"I brought Vodka. Lots and lots of Vodka." The petite ME greeted when an unusually disheveled Kate opened the door. Lanie quirked an eyebrow as she quietly perused her friend. "Damn girl, if I knew you were gonna look like this, I would have brought Tequila as well." Her tone was light, but the words were laced with concern.
The tall detective only returned a small smile and gestured for her friend to step inside. "Thanks for coming, Lanie."
The two women silently made their way to the kitchen. Kate silently retrieved two glasses and silently filled the two glasses, occasionally wiping at her red-rimmed eyes. Lanie, on the other hand, was busy scrutinizing the dark-haired woman closely.
She looked positively dreadful – sloppy ponytail, yoga pants, oversized NYPD hoodie, red eyes, pale face. This wasn't Kate Beckett.
Something was terribly wrong.
Once she had a glass in her hand, Lanie was ready to start talking. "Alright, spill. What's got you asking me to come over at ten on a Friday evening?"
Kate pursed her lips, fixed a blank stare on a spot on her kitchen counter. She absently made a mental note to clean her oven the next day. Finally, her eyes lifted to the meet her friend's. "I've messed up, Lanie. Badly." Her voice was soft and carried a vulnerable tremor.
Lanie watched her carefully. "How so? Did something happen with Josh? Did you break up?" She asked, taking a sip of her drink. She had the nagging feeling, however, this had nothing to do with the dashing doctor.
Kate's mouth quirked up sardonically, but slowly shook her head. "No. It's Castle."
"Oh..." Her brow furrowed. Why did she feel her inner alarm bells go off? "What happened, Kate?"
Kate slowly let out a breath, briefly closed her eyes before facing her friend again. "I slept with Rick."
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Martha Rodgers knew her son. Sometimes she knew him better than he knew himself. Hell, she knew even before he did that he was in love with a certain dark-haired detective. She knew when something was brewing. Knew when danger was on the horizon. And she knew from the moment he had gotten the idea in his head to follow Kate Beckett across the country, that trouble was on its way like a gathering storm. Dark and ominous. She just... knew.
Call it a mother's intiution.
She felt for her son: he was hopelessly in love with a woman who was not ready to take that leap with him. A woman who was bound by fear. A woman who was selfish with her own heart. Unfortunately, Richard was not the most tactful person. He was impulsive and passionate and all-consuming. He wanted everything and gave everything in return. The older woman, however, was not so sure that the younger woman was ready to expose herself so eagerly. No matter what her son offered in return.
She found him in his office... cleaning. She immediately knew that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.
"Richard, darling," she greeted hesitantly, knowing that this was his coping mechanism, that he was trying to distract himself from something. Or someone.
He only turned around and smiled faintly in acknowledgement, before returning to his task of rearranging the books on one of the bookshelves.
"What are you doing?"
"Just..." He shrugged. "Reorganizing." He let out a heavy sigh. Martha carefully moved closer to her son. He seemed like a caged animal ready to take off any minute if startled. However, when Martha spotted the bloody bandage around his hand she gasped and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.
"What happened to you?"
"It's... nothing... The glass cabinet got in the way of my fist." He tried to smile, but his eyes betrayed his true feelings. He was miserable and in pain.
Light blue eyes snapped up to meet his cobalt pair in surprise. She didn't say anything. She knew. Wordlessly, she led him to the couch of his office and untied the make-shift bandage he had put on his hand an hour before. Martha Rodgers may be many things, but she was a mother first and foremost. She had been responsible for taking care of him. She had been responsible for tending to his wounds. She had been responsible for protecting him.
But she couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't shield him from the utter devastation that was heartbreak.
They had been silent for a few minutes while she removed the bandages. The silence was overwhelming. Her mind was focused on her son. His mind was focused on her.
"She doesn't love me." His voice was quiet, ragged, hopeless. The usual musical tone of his voice was now flat, monotone and... inanimate. He was staring blankly at something on the wall.
Her heart broke, shattered at his words. Her suspicions had been right. She briefly closed her eyes, pain flooding her as it must have her son. 'Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone.'
For a moment, Martha Rodgers felt blinding hatred course through her. For a moment she hated the woman who was doing this to her son. She hated the woman who couldn't see what was right in front of her. She hated the woman who had ripped Richard Castle to pieces.
She gently pulled him in for a warm, comforting embrace. "Oh Richard."
Yes, for a moment Martha Rodgers truly hated the love of her son's life.
Kate Beckett wasn't only breaking his heart, but a mother's heart as well.
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"You did what now?" The ME exclaimed. She was shocked, utterly shocked. This was the last thing that she had expected to hear from her best friend.
Lanie would be grinning impishly if she hadn't noticed Kate's crestfallen expression. She would have said 'about time!' if Kate hadn't blinked away tears. She would have danced around if Kate hadn't lowered her head and let out a shaky breath.
So, instead of doing all of the above-mentioned, Lanie moved around the kitchen island and wrapped an arm around the other woman. "Kate, honey, when-"
"In L. A. I slept with him when we were in L. A. On Royce's case.," Kate said, stepping away from her friend.
"Oh." Oh. The strange behaviour of the two after L. A. now made sense; there had been a level of tension between them that Lanie (and the boys) just couldn't quite pin down. Now she knew why. "Okay, so judging by your reaction, the sex must have been really bad. Which is kinda hard to imagine with Writer Boy," she said in an effort to lighten the mood. Kate let out a watery laugh and shook her head.
"If only it was bad."
If only.
The petite ME lifted an eyebrow. "Ah, so how good was it, Detective?"
Kate's mouth quirked up briefly, her fingers fiddling with the stem of her glass and her eyes absent-mindedly fixed on a spot on the wall. "It was... great. Perfect. Beautiful," she responded softly. She paused for a moment. "It was the best ever." The utter sadness and vulnerability with which the words were said, stopped Lanie from making a comment.
Something else happened. This wasn't just about L. A. Something must have happened recently. The realisation hit her - tonight.
"Kate, what happened tonight?"
The detective looked at her friend, pursed her lips and tilted her head upwards. "I ruined everything." She fixed her eyes on the white ceiling, blew out a breath and waited a few moments to gather her thoughts. "You know, I kept telling myself when we got back that it was a mistake. And it was." She turned to look at the other woman. "I'm not a cheater, Lanie and Josh doesn't deserve this..."
Lanie had to bite her tongue not to point out that being in love with another man is already a form of cheating. It was emotional adultery. And Kate Beckett was sure as hell guilty of that. But rather than point that out, she let the detective continue.
"Castle didn't say anything for a week and I sure as hell wasn't going to bring it up, so I did what I did best and ignored it. Buried it. Convinced myself that it didn't mean anything. A few days ago, Castle confronted me about it and we kinda got into it-"
"Wait, that wouldn't happen to be Tuesday, would it?"
Kate nodded her head.
"Mmhmm, I knew something was off between the two of you. Okay, so you got into it?"
"Yeah. I told him that it was a mistake and that I was sorry."
Lanie let out a sigh. She resisted the urge to shake her head in disapproval. "What did Castle say?"
Kate sighed and rubbed her forehead. "He said that he understood. But he was hurt. I could see that it hurt him."
There were a few moments of silence. "And tonight? Something must have happened, right?"
Kate smiled bitterly, feeling tears starting to sting her eyes. "He came by... with flowers." She gestured to the flowers on the kitchen counter. She waited for a moment, willing away the emotion. Willling away the nagging regret. Willing away the mistakes that she had made. "Lanie, he told me that he wanted us... That he loved me." Kate turned to look at her friend who stared at her with two raised eyebrows.
Everyone knew Castle loved her, it was not a surprise.
"I told him that we couldn't. That I was with Josh."
Lanie hesitated for a moment. "Does Josh know?"
Kate's eyes snapped to hers. "No."
"You gonna tell him?"
"I don't know," Kate responded quietly.
"What do you mean you don't know? You planning on staying with the man?" This was ridiculous. "Girl, you and Castle-"
"Lanie, there is no Castle and me... There never will be."
That was it - time to smack some sense into the woman.
"And why the hell not? Kate, that man loves you. He loves you. It's plain for everyone to see." Kate was shaking her head. "And you love him too." At that, she locked eyes with her friend.
"I can't risk it."
"Bullshit, Kate. He'll be good for you. You two would be great together... You could be happy."
Silence descended for a moment with Kate pinching the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb. She was starting to develop a headache. Finally she looked at her friend again. "Lanie, I don't want to risk our friendship, our partnership on something that might end up in flames... I just can't trust him with my heart. You know what happened the last time I tried to-"
The ME was shaking her head vehemently, starting to feel anger bubbling up inside of her. Her friend could be so damn stupid sometimes!
"Let me tell you something about that man that you seemingly don't get." Kate was taken aback with the sharpness of her friend's tone. "He would turn the world upside down for you. He would do anything you ask of him." She paused for a moment. "Girl, I love you, I really do. And I'm your side all the way, you know that... But this time, I'm on his. All. The. Way."
Kate's brow furrowed in surprise. "Lanie-"
"Na-uh, Kate. He's my friend too. And you're messing with him. You're stringing him along. He's madly in love with you. Hell, he's been in love with you for ages and purely out of respect for your relationship and out of concern for your happiness, he's tried to keep his distance. Oh, don't tell me you didn't know about how he feels. How long has it been since he's seen any one, mmm? How long has it been since he even just went out on a date?
She paused for a moment, her expression softening.
"He's been waiting for you to give him a chance, Kate... You want my opinion? If you don't feel the same way or if you're unwilling to take the risk - cut him loose. Let him go. To keep doing this to a man who is willing to do anything, anything for you, is just cruel."
Tears were blurring her vision. "Lanie, he's my partner. I don't want to lose him."
Lanie cocked her head slightly and gently conveyed the harsh reality. "Honey, you might have already."
Kate went numb as the realisation hit her - she may have lost him. She may have just lost her best friend, partner, one and-
And this time it might be for good.
A/N: Well, I'm not entirely happy with this. It just feels a little... forced. I don't know. *Shrugs* I brought in the part with Martha just to create a break in Lanie and Kate's conversation and show what has happening with Castle at the same time. There will be more of Alexis and Martha's reactions later on.
Please review and tell me what you think. I could really use your opinions on this one. Especially with regards to Lanie - was she authentic and in character?
Thanks for reading!
I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes.