I think I've gone crazy lately with all these ideas for flashbacks lol. It looks like there's going to be at least one every chapter the way my mind is spinning with possibilities right now, I hope you don't get tired of them! This chapter has taken some time to write for two reasons. One is because I had a lot to do at school, can hardly wait for christmas break, and the other reason is that I was unsure of how to proceed with Jack. The only time we really got to see him angry and pissed, other than the deleted scene where he is teased by Bobby, is when well you know, right before the scene "who shall not be mentioned" is. Seems like he has a bad temper when someone insults his family and when someone makes a move against him. I'll work with that. Hope you like it and thanks for your support.
"Bobby? Where is...?"
Jack turned his head to the side and his eyes locked on the still form of Bobby, laying in a hospital bed next to him. Angel and Jerry was by his side then, Jerry gripping his hand hard and Angel turning his head back so their eyes met.
"Jack look at me"
Jack blinked, his eyes locked on Angel's, surprised by the tone of his voice.
"You need to be calm okay. You have to stay calm, otherwise you might have another panick attack. Remember that, no matter what I tell you now okay?"
Jack nodded, to stunned to say anything.
"Do you remember what happened?"
Flashes of red raced behind his eyes. Pain. Snow. Red snow. Blood. His blood. Bobby's blood. Bobby. He tried turning his head to look at Bobby but Angel's hand kept his head still. He felt his breathing speed up and his hands clenched.
"Jack look at me"
He obeyed, the strength in Angel's voice overriding the voices in his head screaming at him.
"You need to calm down. Listen to me. Do you trust me?"
Jack nodded shakily and tried to force his hands to unclench.
"Breathe"
Jack did, trying to steady his breathing and slow it down, the way Bobby and Evelyn had taught him. When Angel was satisfied he relaxed his grip on Jack's head but still held on to him so he couldn't shift his gaze from his eyes.
"You need to listen carefully okay. Do you remember?"
Jack nodded, tears filling his eyes.
"Good. I know your scared Jack but try to stay calm and I will tell you everything, but you need to stay calm, can you do that for me?"
Jack nodded again.
"You were shot in the shoulder. Bobby is shot and he's in a coma" A gasp escaped Jack and the tears escaped leaving a wet trail down his pale cheeks.
"But he's still alive Jack and he needs you, we need you, I want you to close your eyes now and focus on breathing"
Jack did as he said, trusting Angel to know what was best. This continued for a couple of minutes before Jack opened his eyes again.
"You calm?"
Jack nodded and tried to sit up. Angel and Jerry saw what he was trying to do and hurried to help him. When he was sitting up he slowly turned his head to look at Bobby. Angel and Jerry watched carefully, searching for any sign that he was going to break down again. For a long time he just stared at Bobby, weeping silently. The tears continued to run, but no sound came from his lips. He tried to move his legs off the side of the bed so he could stand up, Jerry held on to him when he swayed, his legs felt weak. He took the short steps forward until he was next to Bobby's bed, then he dropped to his knees on the floor, leaning his forhead against the side of Bobby's still arm, and didn't move, the tears continuing to run silently, the pain in his heart almost to much to take. He felt his soul, whose very presence he had doubted existed so many times before, scream in anguish. He felt it now, like he never had before. He felt his brothers presence at his back and they sat like that for a long time.
"I hope he dosen't get pissed we didn't call first" Jerry murmured as they made their way to the bar. They were in a club in New York where Jack's band was scheduled to play tonight. They hadn't told him they were coming. Of course that was Bobby's idea.
"Why would he? We just want to see our little brother spread his fairy wings and fly, he can't get mad about that"
Trust Bobby to break it down so gently.
"Yeah this will be awesome, I can't tell you how long it's been since I've seen pepole who isin't wearing weapons" Angel ogled a woman walking by wearing a short skirt.
"Don't you mean scantily clad women looking to flaunt themselves?"
"Scantily clad women... Well sorry grandma if I made you feel uncomfortable" Angel mocked Jerry.
"Can you two shut up for a second and order me a fucking beer while I look for Jack or what?" Bobby snapped.
A beer was suddenly placed before him by the bartender who winked at him. The bartender was a middle aged man with an apron that said 'why would you want to kiss a chef when there's bartenders?' Bobby reared back but the bartender didn't even notice, having already moved on and was serving some other people. Looking over at Angel and Jerry he saw that they were laughing at him while nursing their own beer.
"Shut up" He snapped.
The light changed and all eyes turned to the scene where they spotted Jack standing in the center, his band around him. All lights dimmed except for those directed towards the stage, and you could almost taste the excitement in the air.
"Good evening"
Jack's voice was his usual deep husky sound and the women in front of the stage went crazy. Angel laughed and clapped his hands like a mad man when he caught sight of the women cheering for his baby brother. They moved forward to see better and ended up rather close to the scene but off to the side. As they watched Jack sang and played, the crowd cheering and singing with. When two girls behind them said that they were sure that Jack could do even better things with his mouth than sing all the brothers grinned and shot a look behind them at the giggling girls.
"Alright one last song for tonight"
Jack's words were met with a chorus of 'No', but he just shook his head and explained that there were other bands that waited for their turn, smiling all the time. His brothers stared at him, wondering where this sudden confidence had come from, they had never seen Jack look so free.
"Alright then, I wrote this while thinking of my family, so this one's for them.
Bobby, Jerry and Angel all tensed.
Jack closed his eyes and lifted his guitar high in the air before bringing it down slowly and immediatley started playing, the sound as thrilling as it was sad. He turned his head to the side and opened his eyes, finding his brothers. He had felt their eyes on him.
If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question
Jack's voice was hoarse and deep, his sweaty hair falling down close to his eyes. His blue eyes was locked on his brothers who stood off to the side staring at him. He closed his eyes.
And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
He opened his eyes to stare out at the crowd, his body moving with the music, swaying slightly.
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He glanced at his brothers again.
If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets
And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
His body moved on the stage, he leaned down over his guitar and up again, blue eyes dimmed and in another world.
And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome
His voice was a mixture of anguish and longing. The voice of someone who had only wanted a home, the home he longed for now, to not be alone. For so long he had been trying to make his way home.
As he whispered out the last lyrics the crowd was silent at first before going wild. They cheered and screamed, and looking over at his brothers he saw that they were clapping wildly and whistling. He smiled at them, a genuine happy smile and they had never been more proud than they were right then.
Jack sat on the floor, his head still pressed against Bobby.
"Keep your arms up, protect your face"
Jack groaned.
"I'm trying Bobby"
"Well try harder! The punks you meet on the street is not going to go easy on ya you know"
He let out a sob.
"Don't worry Ma, I'll take care of Jackie"
Bobby ruffled his hair and he glanced up at him, a look of worship in his blue eyes.
It wasn't fair. He never got to keep anything. Everything was taken from him.
"Bobby please"
"No Jack, this is no joke. I'm going to show this guy what it means to fuck with a Mercer"
"But..."
"No fucking buts, you better tell me where he is right now"
Jack was silent but Johnny G was approaching Bobby and Jack tensed. Shit.
"Bobby"
"Johnny G"
"Looking for Dan?"
Bobby leaned against the bar and Johnny did the same while Jack remained seated on one of the tall chairs along the bar.
"How did you know?"
Johnny G glanced at Jack and obviously decided that it was better to side with Bobby on this one.
"Threw him out yesterday after he was messing with Jack here, I told him to get the fuck out. Phone was dead yesterday so I couldn't call ya, but I was on my way to give ya a ring just now when I saw that shithead sniffing around again. I didn't kick him out since I figured you wanted to have a chat with him"
"You thought right Johnny. Thanks man, I owe ya"
Bobby's grin was was unpleasant to say the least.
"No worries, he's out back taking a smoke"
Bobby's grin spread and Jack shivered.
"Johnny can you keep an eye on Jack, and give him something to drink. Like a coke" He added when Jack's eyes lit up.
"Sorry fairy, maybe if you'd have told me about this yourself instead of word getting around I would have bought you a beer, now you'll have to make do"
Jack sighed and fixed Bobby with a pleading look.
"That's not going to work Jackie. Here hold this" he handed Jack his jacket "stay here til I get back, don't move an inch"
"Bobby, I'm 17, not a kid!"
"Shut up Jack"
Bobby exchanged a look with Johnny and then went out the backdoor. Jack was thinking about following when Johnny set a glass of coke in front of him.
"Not a good idea kid"
"Why did you have to save me?" Jack whispered.
Jack sat alone in his room crying. He heard the door open and felt Bobby sit down next to him. He reached around and pulled Jack against him, hugging him while Jack cried into his shirt.
"Bad first day at school?"
Jack cried harder, clutching Bobby's shirt in his hands.
"Don't worry Jackie, I'll take care of it".
Jack had stopped crying and was just leaning his head against Bobby now. He didn't have anymore tears left, he had cried so much and what did it help. It hadn't done him any good. He had cried for Evelyn, the sweetest woman he had ever known, but she was still gone. Dead and buried. He had cried for Bobby, but he already knew it wasn't going to make a difference, it never had before. Life was cruel, that was just the way it was. For a long time that was all there was, but things had changed and he had changed along with them, he had a family that loved him, and a place to call home. For a brief second he wondered how their house looked like now, last time he saw bullets were flying everywhere. He tried to push that thought of of his head. Instead he looked down at his oldest brother and wondered how things went to hell so fast.
Across town Johnny G had just received word that Bobby and Jack Mercer had been shot and that Bobby was in critical condition. Filling up a shot he downed it before filling it again and doing the same. If he had heard right, and he usually did, Bobby had been shot while protecting Jack with his own body. It didn't surprise Johnny. He knew everyone of the Mercer brothers well, since this was their favorite bar to hang out at. He knew how protective they were of each other, and he had witnessed many fights, usually between Bobby and someone else, but the other brothers had been involved in more than a few too, sometimes all of them had been involved. That usually meant someone called the cops and that bottles flew, and people, along them the Mercer brothers were taken away in cuffs. He sighed, shaking his head. Bobby had always been protective of his family, but anyone could see that he was even more so with Jack. While Johnny poured himself another shot he remembered a night a few years back...
Jack had been at the bar alone, something that didn't happen to often and he'd ended up in a fight with another guy there. Jack had won and broken the other guy's nose before Bobby arrived to pick him up, curtsey of a call from Johnny. Bobby took one look at his brother and the guy on the floor before slapping Jack on the back and telling him to finish his beer as they were going home, congratulating him on a punch well thrown. The guy on the ground groaned, and Bobby glared at him before telling him to shut the fuck up before he finished what his brother started. Then they were off and the guy with the broken nose had joined his friend at the bar, pressing napkins to his nose.
"Fucking prick" his friend muttered.
The injured guy nodded, making the blood drip on his shirt even more.
"Should jump him when we get the chance"
Johnny decided that a friendly warning was in it's place, even if it wasn't necessarily friendly, or well meaning.
"That be stupid"
"What do you know of it?" The uninjured one sneered "Besides, I didn't mean the older dude, I meant the kid, or maybe both"
Johnny thought he sounded surprisingly cocky since he had just watched his friend get the shit beaten out of him, and for a second wondered if he should let them sign their own death warrants. Though he knew that the cops were just waiting for a chance to put Bobby in the slammer and figured he owed him enough to try and make life a little easier for him.
"That would be a big mistake boys"
He continued stacking up glasses while they watched him.
"And why's that?" The cocky one asked.
"See that chair over there? The one with the rag in front of it?"
Johnny gestured down the bar and the two guys looked.
"Yeah what of it?"
"Used to be Dan's favorite spot"
"Who the fuck is Dan?"
"Exactly" Johnny's tone was cold.
The guys exchanged a look with each other and leaned forward a little. Johnny looked up and shifted his glance between them. He saw that the cocky one was a little unsure now, the other one had finally managed to stop the bleeding and his eyes were wide.
"You mean that he" he lowered his tone, as if Bobby would somehow hear him "killed him?"
Johnny didn't answer.
"Come on man tell us, what happened to that Dan guy? Did they have anything to do with it?" He gestured to the door where Bobby and Jack had exited.
Johnny stopped what he was doing and looked at them shrugging.
"Few things are certain in life, but there are some things that are. That is one of those things"
"What do ya mean? What is one of those certain things?"
Johnny's old eyes turned sharp and he pinned them with a serious look.
"Mess with Bobby Mercer and your fucked. Mess with Jack Mercer, well then your screwed"
"This one's for you Bobby" Johnny downed his shot.
Jack was still and for once his mind was quiet. Looking down at his brother he was struck by how vulnerable he looked. That was a word he was certain no one had connected with Bobby Mercer before. It didn't fit him. He had always been so strong, had always protected him... Jack carefully traced the bandage covering Bobby's chest with trembling fingers. For the first time since the shooting he thought about Sweet. He had sent his goons to kill them, and he had almost succeeded. Would he come here to finish what he started? Jack looked up at Bobby's still face and felt rage settle over him. This was his family. The only one he had ever had. Evelyn was gone, nothing could change that. She would never smile at him again or stroke his hair. Bobby was in a coma for protecting him. Jack tried to swallow the bile rising in his throat. He gripped Bobby's hand, memories shifting behind his eyes. He felt so very, very cold. His hand trembled and he gripped Bobby's tighter, holding onto it like a drowning would a lifeline. Something was racing in his blood and it took a few seconds for him to realize that it was hatred. It was burning him with it's intensity. This was his brother. Jack's mind clouded over, he tried to take a deep breath but it didn't help. He couldn't feel anything other than that fire in his veins, his blood boiling. He stood up, legs protesting and shoulder hurting but he leaned over Bobby, resting his forhead against his brothers and closed his eyes.
"I'll make you proud"
I think I have to stop talking so much about how and what the chapter is going to be about since it never turn out that way anyway lol. If you want I really think you should listen to the song Jack is singing in the flashback to get the right feeling, it's "One of us" with Joan Osborne.