Thanks to everyone who reads this story, and a special thanks to you who leave a review and tyell me what you think, it really means a lot :) I've been thinking about writing a chapter who is a flashback, and only that, no present time at all. Which is what I am going to try and do now. I realize that you probably want the story to move forward, but I want to explore the brothers and especially Bobby and Jack's relationship a bit more first. I promise we'll get to the meet ;) I don't own four brothers.

Years ago Jack would have run away at the sight that greeted him when he returned home. Or maybe he wouldn't have, since running usually meant harsher punishment, more humiliation, more pain. Running was for those with hope, those who still thought they had a chance of escaping.

It's not like that now, he told himself. And it wasn't. He knew that. Still, he couldn't stop the thoughts that came and went. Like clockwork they showed up during the day, during the night, whenever he was most unprepared, and sometimes when he knew they would come. It didn't matter that he was safe now, sometimes he still flinched, like he waited for the hit that never came. The nightmares still came, not as often, but often enough for him to want to avoid sleeping. Then when he finally slept they were there, taunting him, making him cry, making him weak again.

He knew they understood. He knew they loved him. As hard as it was to understand how they could, he knew they did. They just couldn't understand why he didn't value the life he had fought so hard to keep.

He wanted to turn around and walk away, but he knew they wouldn't let him. He knew they had seen him now from their spots outside the backdoor. Bobby saw him first and Angel noticed him tense and looked in the direction his eyes had taken. Bobby stood up, waiting. Jack thought he looked like an animal waiting to spring, his muscles tense. When he came closer Angel also stood, a concerned look in his eyes that made Jack look away. He stopped a few feet away from them, waiting.

Neither spoke, and Bobby grew more and more angry as he took in the state of his little brother. The rumpled clothes, the messy hair (more so than usual) and the bloodshot eyes. Under their eyes he swayed slightly, and that made Bobby react. When he spoke his voice was low and dangerous, a sure sign that he was pissed as hell and about to snap.

"Where have you been?"

Jack's only answer was a shrug that only served to make Bobby's hands clench and his eyes tighten to slits.

"I asked you a question. Where have you been?"

Angel shot a look at Bobby before looking back at Jack who still refused to meet their eyes.

"Jack..." He tried to keep his voice calm, sensing that Bobby was too angry and too worried right now.

"Do you know what time it is?" Bobby cut in.

Jack didn't answer, just continued staring off to the side, what he was seeing was anyones guess.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

The anger in Bobby's voice made Jack turn his head to meet his eyes. When their eyes met Bobby took a step forward.

"Your high" It was a statement, not a question, but Jack answered anyway.

"So what?"

Angel inhaled sharply even though he knew the moment he had laid eyes on Jack that he was high, and he knew that Bobby had also known, or at least suspected it. If the bag of weed in his room hadn't been proof enough his eyes told the story. But it was the careless way that Jack had answered that had caught him of guard.

"You did not just..." Bobby trailed off and took a deep breath to calm himself. It didn't work. "Get in". His voice who at first had been shocked turned to steel.

Jack hesitated, his eyes locked on Bobby's in a silent battle of wills. In the end he realized that there really was no point in turning around and leaving, since he knew Bobby would never let him anyway. And as much as he tried to prove otherwise at times, Bobby still had the ability to tell him what to do. He listened to him. He had ever since he came here. But lately he had been defying him. It wasn't that he didn't know that he was right, Bobby usually was, it was that he didn't care about what was right anymore.

Jack walked past them inside, a small defiant spark in his eyes. Had Bobby not been pissed as all hell he would actually have been happy. Happy that Jack didn't take things lying down anymore, but as it was he was too angry to care. Bobby and Angel followed him inside, Bobby gesturing to Jack.

"The kitchen"

Jack trudged along, flinging himself down in one of the chairs, that same defiant look in his eyes. Bobby took a seat in front of him while Angel remained standing, leaning against the kitchen sink.

"Just pot?"

Jack stared at Bobby and didn't answer.

"What else?" When Jack didn't answer he continued forcefully "What else Jack?"

Jack knew better than to show Bobby what he had in his pockets, and he knew that if need be Bobby would search him.

"Some pills"

"Some pills? Do you even know what you..." Bobby trailed off and held his hand out, an all knowing look in his eyes that made Jack want to scream "Give them to me"

"I don't have them"

"Don't lie" Bobby's voice was rough, and he ground the words out.

"I'm not" Jack tried to steady his voice

"Don't think your fooling anyone Jackie. Either you give me whats in your pockets or I'll take it myself. Choose"

Another silent battle before Jack reached into his pocket and threw the bag of pills between them on the table.

"Is that all?" Bobby looked hard into Jack's eyes, hoping that Jack would tell the truth.

Jack hesitated for a moment, the urge to tell Bobby everything almost choking him.

"Yeah"

Bobby reached into his own pocket and grasped the bag of weed and held it out for Jack to see.

"So this isin't yours?"

"You went through my room"

Jack's words were a mix of accusation and betrayal. Bobby pushed down the small twinge of guilt he felt at having invaded Jack's privacy. It was for his own good.

"You lied to me" He countered

The phone rang and Angel answered after a moments hesitation. He spoke quietly for a moment before he hung up and turned back to them.

"What?"

"Ma's sleeping over at work, to late to drive now and it's a crisis"

"Shit I didn't even realize..."

He had been so focused on the fact that Jack hadn't come home that he had failed to notice that Evelyn hadn't either.

"Yeah me neither"

"Angel. Leave me an Jack for a moment"

Angel hesitated, trying to gauge Bobby's mood, but with a sigh he left the kitchen.

"Look at me. Look. At. Me"

Jack complied. His high was beginning to wear off and he felt an headache coming on.

"This shit stops now. You hear me Jack? This is it"

Jack looked away, his head throbbing in time with his heart.

"I need it"

The quiet way he spoke almost broke Bobby's heart in two. Because he knew Jack really believed that he did.

"No Jack. You don't" His voice was sad, and he forced himself to harden it for what was coming next. "Who's your dealer?" Of course he wasn't surprised when Jack didn't answer, only shook his head. "Jack, I'm going to find out anyway, you know that, so you might as well tell me. Tell me, and I won't kill him"

Jack snorted "Yeah right"

"I won't"

Jack didn't reply and Bobby snapped.

"Is this what you want Jack? You want to be an addict? You want to pump yourself full of shit? To waste away? Die in a shitty room in a shitty house?" His voice became higher with each word "Because that's were your heading, right back down to where you've been" Jack flinched but Bobby continued "You want to be like all those other fucks that screwed you over, is that it?"

"I'm not like them!" Jack suddenly yelled, tears in his eyes.

"Your using the same shit your parents did before they died!"

The kitchen fell silent after Bobby's harshly spoken words. Jack's eyes spilled over and tears trailed down his cheeks silently, his hurt eyes focused on Bobby.

"How, how did you kno.. I didn't..."

Bobby sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes in an attempt to calm down.

"I... When you came here, you were so, and I" He tried again "When you came here, I looked at your file. Ma dosen't know" He added. Jack's eyes were round and hurt. Bobby knew he was seeing what he himself had seen that day, only he was seeing them as memories, where Bobby had only read about them. "You were so small" he almost whispered "I wanted to help. That's why I know about your real parents, and every foster family that came after, except for one, they didn't have much on him"

Jack knew who he was talking about. Him. The monster who stood out beside all the others in his mind, in his nightmares. The man he thought he still saw sometimes when he turned on the street.

"I do understand Jack. And I'm sorry. I know you want to forget. But I won't let you kill yourself"

Jack let out a sob and Bobby stood, moving to his side and sat down beside him. He pulled him into a hug. Jack resisted at first, but then laid his head against his shoulder. His tears landed on Bobby's neck and Bobby wanted to kill everyone who had ever hurt him, everyone who had ever touched him, everyone that had made him want to die.

Time went by as they sat there, and eventually Jack stopped crying and was quiet. When he spoke his voice was raw.

"I don't"

"You don't what Jack?" Bobby wasn't sure what he meant.

"I don't want to die" His voice lowered to an almost whisper "I just don't want to live"

Bobby hugged him closer and leaned his head down on Jack's messy hair.

"I'll get you through this Jackie. I promise"

Later when Bobby had helped Jack to bed and placed a blanket over him he went downstairs and found Angel in the livingroom waiting for him.

"Find out anything?"

"Yeah. Craig knew someone who knew"Angel waved a piece of paper in Bobby's direction and he took it. On it was an adress scribbled down.

"This downtown?" Angel nodded and stood "Let's go then" Bobby was once again all steel, his emotions pushed aside.

Angel hesitated, then spoke. "This wont fix him"

"It'll help"

"Bobby..."

"No. I want those little shits to know what happens if THIS happens again"

Angel couldn't argue with the logic in that. It would be harder for Jack to use if no one was selling him. They grabbed their jackets and walked outside to Bobby's car in silence. When they were seated Bobby gripped the steering wheel so hard that his fingers turned white. He looked out the windshield and swallowed hard.

"He's only 16 Angel"

"I know" He laid a hand on Bobby's shoulder "We'll take care of it, of him"

Bobby nodded to himself, comforted by Angel's words, and started to the car and drove off.

I hope you like this :) I just wanted more background for the guys, and I think it'll be easier to understand where Jack is coming from later now, and why he does some things. "I don't want to die, I just don't want to live", is not my own, unfortunately I don't remember where I read it.