Now let us return to the mountainous land and the frolicking goats, the screaming white-haired albinos and the annoying romantic scene...
Falcon: Now let's try this again...[points at Lucy, a poof of smoke appears above her head and Laura appears and squishes Lucy]
Otto: Laura! [looks concerned] Lucy are you okay?
Lucy: [produces strange strangled sound]
Laura: What just happened?
Falcon: [strikes pose] I brought you forth from HIVE to this glorious and mountainous landscape! [mutters to self] I wonder if speaking like that will impress Wing?
Arya: Could you please send us back?
Falcon: [glares at Arya] First off, you are seriously annoying sometimes, and secondly, no I can't send you back, I can only make people and random items appear here...[pauses] Hey that rhymed!
Artemis: [expression of despair] I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots.
Falcon: [eye widen] Hey, I've just had an idea!
Shelby: [mutters] Better be careful with that.
Falcon: Let's all go on a quest!
[silence]
Otto: A quest?
Falcon: [looks pleased with self] Yup.
Eragon: [sighs] Well I suppose it's better than doing nothing.
Arya: [looks suspicious] Wait...what sort of quest?
Falcon: Urm...I hadn't got that far...
Everyone apart from Falcon: [groan]
Several minutes later...
Falcon: [leaps to feet and yells] I'VE GOT IT!
Everyone: [jumps]
Lucy: You've got what?
Falcon: A quest!
Eragon: Ooooh, a quest [giggles] I looove a quest!
Arya: 0-o
Eragon: [coughs and clears throat] Yes...well...do go on.
Falcon: Riiight, well anyway the quest is...
[dramatic drumroll]
Otto: [looks confused] Where is that drumroll coming from?
Falcon: [dramatic pose] ...the search for the Writer's Block and his minions!
[silence]
Artemis: What?
Falcon: [headpalm] We. Are. Going. On. A. Quest. To. Seek. Out. The. Writer's. Block. And...
Shelby: Yeah, we got that part, what one earth's a plot bunny?
[creepy music starts playing]
Falcon: [evil laugh] A strange and evil being which seeks to destroy and ruin writer's plot bunnies and bring their stories grinding to a halt...
Everyone: [Backs away from Falcon]
Wing: And why should we go on this quest?
Falcon: [frowns] Well...so you can go back from whence you came I guess...
Laura: So if we get this writer's block thingumy then we can go back to our homes?
Falcon: [nods] Yup [to self] I think so anyway...
Franz: [looks pleased] I think this quest is being sounding like a good idea.
Otto: Seriously?
Franz: [nods]
Falcon: [grins] Don't worry Otto, Franz will protect you if anything dares to maim/hurt/injure/burn/do anything that involves pain to you.
Artemis: [clears throat] So where exactly is this Writer's Block located then?
Falcon: [evil grin} Mount Dooooom!
[silence]
Lucy: Mount Doom?
Falcon: No, Mount Dooooom.
Eragon: [looks confused]
Wing: [frowns] Wait, I seem to recall there being a Mount Doom in Lord of the Rings.
Falcon: [looks shifty] Yes...well...
Arya: So how do we get there?
Falcon: [draws breath to reply] You know what...I have no idea...
Otto: [breathes sigh of relief] Good, I really wasn't looking forward to that.
Franz: Wait, wasn't there being a Gollum to guide the hobbits to Mount Doom?
Otto: [goes pale then tries to throttle Franz] Why. Did. You. Remind. Her. About. That?
Falcon: [murmurs to self] What a brilliant idea.
[poof of smoke and Gollum appears]
Gollum: Greetings my precious...
Laura: Whoa...
Shelby: [backs away] Urm... doesn't Gollum try to murder the hobbits?
Falcon: [begins to looks worried] Oh...yeah...I forgot about that part...
[nervous silence]
Artemis: How about you summon Butler and he will dispatch this monstrosity.
Falcon: No.
Artemis: But...
Falcon: We have Wing, Silent Death, Shelby and two magicy elves to protect us, I don't think I can handle any more characters...
Eragon: [puts hand in air] Excuse me, but I'm half human...
Falcon: We don't have time for technicalities!
Shelby: Sorry to break this up but could we please get a move on!
Falcon: Right, right...then let us go forth o' brave ones...[strides off to dramatic music]
Gollum: Wrong way...
Falcon: [sniffs] I knew that.
Everyone else: [headpalm]
Otto: I am seriously going to regret this...
A/N Thanks to all who reviewed my first chapter! Sorry for the extra-long wait!
BTW: I won't be able to get any more updates up for a little while just to warn you, several excuses being: half-term homework, other neglected fanfics, and my birthday in two days! But the update will come...in the meantime REVIEW!