Last chapter Jack really lost it. He's in a very dark place right now, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Lucy, a wristband of shame lol. I myself am from Sweden, no wristbands of shame, though I'm sure there other unpleasant things here lol, like the cold. Thanks for the comment about the language! :) Some songs for inspiration has been "Gangsters Paradise" - Coolio feat L.V, "Mad World" - Tune Robbers, "Crash and Burn" - Savage Garden. I just love writing this story. Love that I sit in school thinking about where Jack is going now, yep, it's true, I do. Anyone missing Bobby? I know I am. Will have to do something about that soon. I don't own four brothers.

Jack stared at the blood staining Fowler's shirt right over his heart. He looked down at his gun in confusion before slowly closing his eyes as he realized what had happened. Opening his eyes he stared into Fowler's lifeless ones, the feeling of being cheated made his throat tighten. He turned around slowly.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I didn't want you to"

"Not your choice to make"

"I'm your brother. I don't want you to destroy yourself Jack. I love you"

Jack pushed the gun back into his waistband angrily "Don't do that. Don't talk to me like I'm a child".

Jerry shook his head sadly. He wanted so badly to reach out to Jack, to hug him, but he knew that he didn't want that right now. He knew his brother well enough to know when not to touch him, and this was one of those times.

"I thought that door was locked" Jack spat out harshly.

"It was. I helped Ma clean out some stuff a few weeks ago" Jerry swallowed hard "I still have the key".

The door at the top of the stairs slammed open and the sound of running footsteps reached them. "Jack!" Angel shouted, his voice panicked, not having seen them yet. He stumbled down the last step, his gun in hand, and stopped at the sight of Fowler's dead body. His gaze turned to them and he quickly took in the fact that they seemed to be unharmed. He noticed the gun in Jerry's hand and let out a sigh of relief. "What the hell is going on here? And where did you come from?"

Jerry gestured to the other door, the one slightly hidden underneath the staircase, leading out the back. "Something felt wrong, I met with Evan and then I used the other door..." He glanced at Jack.

"Oh" Angel took a deep breath to calm himself. When he heard the shot he thought... He didn't know what he thought. He just knew that someone had fired a gun, and that he didn't know where Jack was. He looked at his little brother and saw the tense way he held himself, and the angry look in his eyes. He saw the blood on his hands, and finally, he took a closer look at Fowler. He was not a pretty sight. In silence he took in the gunshot wound, the stab wound in his thigh and a burn mark at his throat that had the same form as that of a cigarette, a closer look at his arm showed more of those marks. He turned and met Jack's eyes, the anger making them even more blue than usual, but it was the coldness, the absolute lack of remorse that scared Angel more than any gun pointed at him during his time in war ever had. "Jackie..." He trailed off and looked at Jerry, the helplessness shining through.

"Don't worry. Jerry's the one who shot him" Why was his throat getting tighter by the minute. Why couldn't he breath...

"And this?" Angel gestured at the stab wound and the burns "What is this then?"

"Sweet dosen't know about the plan"

"Sweet dos..." Angel looked at him in shock "You think I'm stupid? Do ya honestly think you can fool me into believing that the reason you did this was for information? Come on Jack..." he sighed sadly.

Jack dragged a hand through his hair roughly. "Why does it matter?"

"Jack"

"You shut up!" Jack pointed an accusing finger at Jerry "You had no right"

"I didn't want you to have to kill someone! Is that wrong? Wanting to protect my little brother?"

"This isn't someone!" Jack was suddenly furious, the anger that had been building erupted. "This is one of Ma's killers! One of them who took her from us! One of them who put Bobby in the hospital!

"Jack I know you're hurting but you need to listen to me..."

Jack's cynical laugh interrupted Angel. "Like you're one to talk. You remember those who killed Ma, Angel? The one's you and Bobby shot after we chased them down?" Why did it hurt so much to even say his name...

Angel's mouth snapped closed.

"That's not you Jack" Jerry's heart was breaking, just like his family was breaking. He felt tears gather in his eyes, but he didn't try to blink them away.

"It is now" Jack was calm again, his voice steady.

"Don't say that. Don't act like it dosen't effect you, it does, I know it does"

"I don't know what your problem is, he deserved everything he got and more" Jack gritted his teeth, why couldn't they understand? "Whatever I did, whatever he felt, it will NEVER even come close to this, to this pain..." He sucked in a breath.

"And the guard at the hospital?" Angel spoke up.

Jack shrugged. "They needed to buy the story, to be convinced that I was serious, it had to be done. He'll be fine".

"You don't know that" Jerry argued.

"It wasn't in the plan" Angel added

"It worked didn't it?"

"So that's how you wanna play it?" Angel asked "Whatever the cost?"

"Whatever it takes" Jack nodded, a grave look on his face.

"And if the cost is the loss of your soul, your peace of mind?"

In his own mind Angel saw the small child Jack had been. The kid who loved his guitar, who liked to help Ma cook, who followed Bobby around everywhere. He suddenly seemed so much older, so much harder.

"I don't care Angel".

Angel stared at Jack silently, wondering who this man was. Because it was a man, no longer a kid. He looked like his little brother, but it didn't feel like him. And Angel understood. Better than most, he understood. It didn't mean it didn't hurt. Cause it did. A lot. He's mind drifted to Bobby. If he were here right now he would have killed him. But Bobby wasn't here.

"What are we gonna do about this?" Jerry asked, interrupting the silent stare between his brothers "We can't take him with us" he gestured to Fowler's body.

They all looked at him. There was no way to hide the fact that he'd been murdered.

"I have a plan"

Jack and Jerry looked at Angel.

"This is some serious risky shit" Jerry remarked

"We don't have a choice. As soon as Sweet's gone they'll come looking for us, we can't have him around the house then" Angel pointed out, washing his hands.

"Nice job, with, uh, removing the bullet"

Angel grinned at Jerry "Ex-marine. Besides, it's not like I had to worry about hurting him"

Jerry nodded. "True"

Jerry moved so he was looking out the kitchen window. He saw Jack sitting on the backdoor steps, smoking, while staring in front of him, a blank look on his face. Jerry observed him silently. A hand on his shoulder made him jump.

"He just need some time" Angel spoke.

"He needs everything we don't have. Time, Ma, Bobby..."

"We need to watch him. He's losing it"

"I know" Jerry nodded sadly.

Angel looked at the clock. "Get him in here. It's time"

Jerry knocked at the window and gestured to Jack. A moment later he stood in the kitchen. He reached out and Jerry took a step forward, wrapping his arms around him.

"I'm sorry about before" Jack murmured.

"I know. It's okay. I'm sorry too"

"Ah you girls" Angel wrapped his arms around both of them.

Later while they stood on the white snow waiting, they all thought back to that moment. The calm before the storm.

A short chapter to get it up to speed. I think we have finally arrived at the time for the meet? Dissapointed that Jack wasn't the one to kill Fowler? I'll explain my thought process later lol.