I Don't Care As Much

"Betrayal is the only truth that sticks" ~Arthur Miller

Alvin Seville

I stroll down the hallway, hurrying to get to class. Brittany had been so understanding… Everything was going to be fine. I would ask May out on a date after school and finally get my love life in order. She was hot, I'm a jock… it all works out, right? But there was this inner battle… this want to have two things at once. My head told me that May was the right choice. She's beautiful, charming, cunning, smart… Everything a guy could ask for and more. But then there's my heart… which is the most confusing part of it all. I just kept thinking about Brittany… her face when I told her that I didn't, or wouldn't ever love her. She broke, and I knew it… but I didn't want to believe it. Had she understood as well as I thought she did?

I quickly veer into the bathroom to take a quick peek in the mirror. My brown hair is tousled under my red cap just the way I like it… and how all the ladies like it. I practice a smirk, and once satisfied, I turn to the door.

"Alvin?" a high pitched voice asks from the sinks. I turn around to meet the green eyes of Theodore. Theo stares back at me, a worried expression crossing his innocent features. "Alvin… what's happening? Are you really going after this May girl?"

"Well," I falter. I felt like he was the older brother looking down at me. "I guess so… I mean, why not?"

"What happened to Brittany?" he asks, leaning against the sinks. He crosses his arms, looking genuinely curious. I shrug back at him, making his frown grow deeper. "Alvin, you've been practically in love with that girl since we meet the Chipettes. What happened?"

"I got a new point of interest, that's all," I try to reason. This whole conversation was giving me a headache.

"Brittany told Eleanor about the fight that May and her had. It seemed awful… I just don't believe for a second that you would actually side against Britt."

"I'm not!" I argue. "I'm not siding with anyone! This is their fight and they can have at it all they want."

"What happened to protecting her?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask but I can't look at him… I know exactly what he's talking about. But my pride won't let me say anything more. Theodore just looks at me for a long time, forcing me to remember.

Back when we were around fourteen and hadn't really hit the awkward teenager faze yet, I was completely and totally crushing on Brittany. I thought about her all the time. I even stooped to the level of writing poems and buying little gifts that reminded me of her. Not that she ever received any of them. I was too embarrassed to even talk about them… they're sitting in a box under my bed to this day marked 'Britt'. But one day… I finally told her that she meant something to me. I didn't tell her I had a crush on her, and defiantly not that I loved her… just that she meant something. I promised to protect her forever. She smiled, touching my shoulder. She said "I know… you always have and I have faith you always will."

"You have that faraway look in your eye Al," Theodore finally says. "As if you actually understand what I'm telling you."

"Yeah," I whisper. "But I have to go…"

"Be careful."

"Thanks," I whisper, heading out the door and into the bustling hallway. I practically run to the foreign language hall. I turn into the French room and notice that hardly anyone is there yet. I see Brittany though, sitting by herself in the front of the room. "Hey," I whisper, touching her shoulder and sitting on the table top of the desk next to hers.

"Hey," she smiles weakly back. Makeup is smeared a little down her cheeks and her eyes don't smile back at me. I miss that smile… I only saw it this morning and now it's gone. Just like that. The battle begins all over again… was it really worth it to get involved with May? What would happen to Britt? I want to smack myself. I act as if she would never find anyone else… And she would. She'd move on from me in a second and find a perfectly good guy that wouldn't hurt her like I do all the time. She deserves better.

"How are you?" I ask her softly.

"Fine," she replies with a shrug. No spark… no happiness. After years and years of Dave giving advice on girls, I know one thing. When a girl says that she's fine, it basically means that you better damn well figure out what's wrong and fix it. "I mean," she whispers. "I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose you."

"You'll never lose me," I give her a half smile, touching her shoulder lightly. "We're best friends, don't worry so much."

"But you like May," she says, locking eyes with me. After a second of silence, she casts her blue eyes down, shrugging again. "She's so mean."

"She's nicer than you think," I try. "Maybe you just need to give her another chance. You two could be friends… I mean, you're a lot alike."

"I don't think I'll ever be friends with any of your girlfriends no matter how nice they are," she says bluntly, no emotion in her voice what so ever. "You wouldn't understand."

I open my mouth to argue, but footsteps rapidly start coming into the room. Other students ready for their first day of class for the semester. Among them is May and Simon. Simon gives me a worried look while May lights up completely, smiling at me. "Hey," I smile back at her. "Long time no see."

"I know," she says sweetly. "Come sit with me!"

"I-I can't," I admit. "I promised Britt-"

"Oh," she looks down, a sad frown spreading across her features. My heart breaks at her expression… I don't know what made me do it, but I took her hand and led her to the back of the class and picked a good seat next to the window. She smiles, satisfied. I lock eyes with Brittany… she doesn't look hurt. She looks betrayed. Tears are forming at the corners of her eyes as I watch Simon sit next to her and rub her back as she bends over her desk her shoulders shaking. Simon whispers something to her, and she nods, laughing a little too.

"Thank you Simon," she smiles at him. My face is burning… Why couldn't it be me cheering her up. Nope, all I was doing is tearing her down. The teacher walks into the room and the class snaps to attention. Brittany wipes the tears of her face and smiles at the prospects of learning by Simon's side….

Like I said, she would move on…

May nudges my shoulder but I don't even look at her. Everything is just falling apart…

~I'm back guys! Miss me? Power has been out in the NW for a couple days now but we're back up and running and I have many chapters already ready to go! So review! :)