I Don't Care As Much
"If he's dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go" ~Unknown
Brittany Miller
Eleanor walks up to me, a volley ball under her arm. I finger my shorts, feeling nervous about the tryout. What if I didn't make it this year? What if I lost my spot to the likes of May Button? She would never let me live it down, that's for sure. She would harass me even more. Eleanor nudges my shoulder, watching me with those warm, motherly eyes. I nod back.
"Did you hear the news?" Eleanor asks, taking a couple steps away from me so that we can pass the ball back and forth between us. I shake my head. "Funny," she serves the ball to me. "May was pretty loud in the locker room."
"I changed in the 100 hall bathroom," I tell her. "I couldn't stand seeing her again today."
"Well, you're about to hate her even more."
"I don't think that's possible."
"She's going on a date with Alvin tonight," she says. I let the ball pass right by me and bounce down the court. Eleanor gives me a worried look and comes over to me. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, not even asking how I felt. She knew. "It's going to be okay Brittany," she strokes my hair. "Alvin will realize soon enough that he can't live without you… that he needs you."
"But what if he doesn't?" I cry into her shoulder.
"Then I don't know," Eleanor says. "Then you have to move on… there are plenty of guys way better than Alvin Seville. And if he doesn't see how special you are," she steps back, placing a warm hand on my cheek. "Then he's the one losing out."
"Thanks," I give her a warm smile, even though I was still breaking inside. "Maybe being just friends would be better for us anyways."
"Yeah, just think of the positive," she smiles. I nod back as she continues to pass the ball to me.
Tryouts end and the list will be posted tomorrow. I come out of the gym smiling, and thinking of the positive like Eleanor told me to do. I wait for her in the lobby with Jeanette who had been working late at the school library while we were playing. Jeanette is silently flipping through a science fiction book as she leans against the soda machine. Jeanette was the only one with car privileges so she had to stay and drive us home.
"Okay guys," Eleanor comes out. "Let's go!"
"Wait!" May comes out of the locker room.
"Go, go, go!" I push my sisters out into the night air and into Jeanette's car. I roll down the window a crack and peer out at May who has an angry expression on her face. "So sorry, May!" I yell out to her. "But I gotta run!"
Jeanette drives us home and parks the car outside of the garage. Eleanor and Jeanette speed into the house, but as I'm taking my backpack and cheer bag out of the back of the car, I stop, glancing across the street and towards the Seville house hold.
I drop everything and walk over to the house. I knock on the heavy door twice, greeted with the smiling face of David Seville. His face falls a little bit as he looks at me. I can't tell if it's because of the fact that Alvin's getting ready for his date with May, or because I'm standing there in short shorts, and being my father figure, he disapproves. "You should put on some pants," Dave says sternly. I laugh a little, touching his shoulder lightly before passing him and heading up the stairs.
"Hey," I let myself into the boys' room without knocking. I had seen Theodore in the kitchen and I assumed that Simon was in the basement so I wasn't worried about running into either of them. Alvin jumps when I walk I, staring at me. All he has on is a loose fitting t-shirt and slacks.
"H-hey," he whispers back.
"Getting ready for your date?" I ask with a smile on my face. I just can't think about how much it hurts… him being happy is more important. Alvin nods, turning towards his closet with his hands on his hips. I groan. "You're worse than Jeanette," I inform him, getting right in front of him and digging through his closet. I pull out a plan white shirt with buttons all the way up and a red tie that he wore to last year's homecoming. We had gone together… Shut up Brittany! Just make him happy!
I touch the tie with the tips of my fingers, feeling the silky fabric. I glance at his face which is full of mixed emotions. He has his hands in his pockets and his shoulders are slumped forward. "Where are you two going?" I say cheerfully, pretending that I don't remember.
"Just to Montonelli's," he shrugs. "Don't want to go too big on the first date."
"So you're hoping for a second?"
"I guess," he whispers. His voice is sad and unsure.
"Well," I smile up at him. "Montonelli's is a great place. I'm sure she'll love it!" I know I would. I unbutton the shirt and hold it open for him to slip into. He turns around and slips his arms through the sleeves. He turns back around and lets me button him up. I leave two undone by his neck like he likes to wear formal clothes. I always hated that he didn't go the extra mile to look his best, but I can see now that it suits him.
"Why are you doing this?" he asks, taking my arm as I'm about to slip the red tie over his neck.
"What do you mean?" I ask him. He responds by raising an eyebrow. "You said it yourself Alvin," I tell him. I start tying the tie so I don't have to meet his eye. "We're best friends and I should be doing everything and anything that'll make you happy."
"It's just-"
"You should roll up your sleeves a bit," I tell him. "Montonelli's is casual and the night is warm. She'll love to see a rugged guy picking her up," I poke his chest playfully. Alvin doesn't respond, but I can feel his eyes on me. I roll up his sleeves for him and loosen his tie. Without saying a word I remove his cap and tousle his hair a little bit to make it all messy. "You look perfect."
"Thanks," he looks in the mirror, fingering the tie he's wearing.
"A lot of memories are attached to that tie," I tell him unintentionally. He freezes, looking at the red silk.
"Yeah."
"ALVIN?" Dave calls from downstairs. He yells back a 'what'. "MAY IS HERE!"
"What?" Alvin asks more quietly. "That's funny, I wasn't supposed to pick her up for another twenty minutes…"
"She's just excited," I pat his shoulder. I lead him out of the room and towards the stairs. I see May at the bottom of the stairs with a little red dress on and her blond hair piled on top of her head. Her makeup is heavy and dark… alluring. "May I present to you," I run down the stairs to stand next to May. "Your date!"
Alvin looks uncomfortable descending down the staircase. Theodore comes out to witness the spectacle. May watches me closely, probably wondering if I was on drugs or something. No, this is just what loving someone does to a person. "Are you ready to go?" Alvin asks May when he's in front of her.
"Yeah," she smiles.
"Wait," I say, taking May's hand. I know that's she's fighting the urge to pull her hand away and smack me. "This color would look so cute with your dress," I whisper to her, pulling a tube of lipstick out of my pocket. "You can put it on at the restaurant."
"Thanks," she says warily.
"Oh," I take her arms and whisper low enough so that no one can hear but her. "If you hurt him you better watch out."
"Good to know," she smirks as if I was joking. I step on her foot. "Ouch!" she screams.
"Oops," I put my hands over my mouth to hide my own smirk. "I'm so sorry!"
"You better watch it Miller," she warns but Alvin has her out the door before I can scream back at her. Theodore puts a hand on my shoulder and laughs.
"What's with you?" I ask him.
"You make me laugh Brittany Miller," is all he says before heading back into the kitchen.
~I'll let her have him... for now :)