I Don't Care as Much

"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt." ~Charles M. Schulz

Brittany Miller

I take two, very long and deep breaths. I can do this… I'm Brittany Miller. I'm a fearless and courageous provider of two sisters. A boy should not scare me… but he does. I could imagine his face after I told him everything… how he'd be confused and torn. He'd be ruined because of me. Or it could end up completely upside down and he could yell… he could tell me that he would never love me all over again. That would hurt more than anything. I shake my head quickly, pushing down all the doubts before knocking on the door firmly.

Nothing happens for a moment, and with the rain pounding all around me, I take initiative and open the door myself. I step inside and take off my coat and shoes at the door before venturing into the house. I know Alvin's in here somewhere, but the question is, where? My voice is too shaky to call out his name and I've already checked all of his usual places, the living room, his room, and the kitchen. I make one last ditch effort and open the door to the garage. Sure enough, there he sits. His eyes watch the rain intently as he holds the guitar in his hand, strumming absently.

I walk up behind him and place a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't move at first. All he does is lower his head a little. I think he knows exactly who is standing behind him. I walk around to the stool next to him and pull up a seat. He glances at me, but doesn't say anything.

"Alvin," I start, not being able to say anything more. My throat is like sandpaper and every word just hurts.

"I can't talk to you," Alvin says softly.

"Stop saying that," I plead. He looks up at me for the first time, tears glistening in his eyes and worry striking his usually relaxed features. My boy was in distress and there was nothing I could do about it. "Alvin, there's something I came here to talk to you about."

"Don't say it's about May," he says. "Because you know that-"

"It isn't about May," I cut him off. He watches me for a moment, and timidly, I place a hand on his. "It's about us."

"There is no us," he argues weakly. "There never was."

"That's a lie," I tell him sincerely, almost chocking up. Where has Alvin been all these years? Certainly he remembers all the wonderful times we've had together. They can't just be gone… there was too much to forget. Alvin glances back at the ground, obviously gathering his bearings. "Alvin, it's always been me and you against the world. What's so different about now? What's so different about her?"

"It's hard to explain," he says, hugging his shoulders against the cold. I get up and touch his shoulder again, making him flinch. I take his arm and lead him inside and towards the warmth. We go upstairs and Alvin immediately steers me towards his bedroom where he flops onto his bed. I sit neatly on Theodore's bed, watching him. He has his arms over his eyes as he speaks. "I don't understand it either Britt. I'm just so confused about everything right now."

"Then don't," I tell him, rocking back and forth a little. "Don't be confused. Just dump May and move on…"

"To you?" Alvin peeks out from under his arms. "Brittany, I tried for eight years to get you to even notice me and it never worked. You always liked the strong, bold, and well… tall boys in school."

"That's when I didn't know how special you were," I watch my lap, too afraid of his expression. "Before, you were always just that trouble maker across the street. My rival yet partner in crime. We did everything together… I just don't want to lose any of that. Considering more so because of how I feel about you now."

"Brittany," he sighs, staring up at the ceiling. He slowly turns to me, his features unhappy. He doesn't look or distressed. Just unhappy with everything going on around him. He opens his mouth a little, getting up on his elbows. Before he can get a word out, a loud thud makes us both jump.

Alvin jumps from his bed and runs to his bedroom door, skidding a little in his socks. He leans way over the railing, looks intently at the front door of his home. He turns to me, a little fear in his eyes. He motions for me to get down, and I know exactly what's happening. May Button had arrived. Anger flushes my cheeks because my moment is utterly ruined by her arrival. A spark of that Alvin spunk comes across his face as he takes my hand, gets me to stand up, then roughly shoves my shoulders towards the ground and motions for me to crawl under Theodore's bed. I roll under, not wanting Alvin to get hurt. Suddenly, I was afraid for him. It was as if he was about to go into battle and all I could do was helplessly watch from the sidelines.

"Hey!" he greets her, motioning for her to come upstairs. She quickly appears in the doorway, her black stilettos are the only thing I can see. Her stunning heels click until I can see that she has crashed into his arms. The smacking of lips soon follows, making my stomach turn sour. "So, what are we going to do? I didn't really get dressed to go out or anything."

"Neither did I," she purrs. I watch her feet, puzzled. That is, until a black trench coat hits the floor. Everything goes silent as my jaw practically hits the floor. I peek out ever so slightly only to be greeted with miles of fishnets and lacey lingerie that don't even begin to cover her. I pop right back under the bed, feeling sick enough to throw up right there under Theodore's bed. I eye Theodore's walnut crusher that he keeps under the bed, wondering if I could just shove my head in the machine and be done with it. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no," Alvin stutters. The boy must be completely white with shock. Poor kid… "I'm just a little surprised… that's all. I didn't exactly expect you to show up in your underwear."

"Well, is it a good surprise?" she asks, taking another step towards him. He must have taken a step back because the couple had been pressed together moments before. Suddenly though, a new sound makes me cringe. The sound of paws on carpeting. I glance over to watch Lilly, the now lazy old dog come sniffing into the room. They got her as a pup after their kitten Cookie Chomper the III got his by a car. It was tragic for everyone. Alvin even kicked out the plants because he refused to let anything else die in his life. Lilly was a fantastic dog from start to finish… except for the fact that I'm highly allergic to her. Simon tried taking out the flash cards like he did with Dave, but it was no use.

It was the smallest of sneezes, but I heard the clicking of May's heels stop. The room became dead silent. I could feel my nose tickling as Lily got closer and closer. But before I could even let it out, I look up to see May's face looking under the bed and right at me.

"H-hey," I give her a small wave.

I'm dead…

~LOL. Or maybe not? Who knows what May will do now?

Sorry guys, school has really been kicking my behind lately. Hope you guys enjoyed though :)