Here's Chris!

My Chick Bad (Chris)

Chris waited nervously behind the curtain as the Aphrodite girl finished performing. She had chosen some Ke$ha song about glitter or something. Chris didn't care much. He was reviewing his lyrics, staring blankly at the crumpled piece of notebook paper in his hand. He hoped that Clarisse wouldn't find his song offensive, he tried to make it as nice as possible. If it had been up to him he wouldn't have even sung about her. But, with a title like "My Chick Bad" including her was pretty much a given. He pictured what would happen: She would be confused at first, then embarrassed, then she would punch Percy for laughing, then she would either smile and blush, despite herself, or start fuming and never speak to Chris again. He could only hope for the first option.

He would see soon enough. The Aphrodite girl had finished singing and Apollo was doing his whole Ryan Seacrest thing, complimenting her and acting goofy. Typical Apollo. But soon the Aphrodite girl was exiting the stage and Apollo was announcing Chris like he was some sort of superstar or something.

"Beat that Rodriguez." Aphrodite girl snarled, hitting his shoulder as she walked by.

Chris didn't respond. He just walked her walk down the steps, her shoulders high with confidence.

Don't worry, it's not likely. He thought to himself with a sad sigh.

Apollo finished his announcing and the demigod working the curtains motioned for Chris to come onstage. He took one last deep breath before putting on a nervous smile and stepping past the curtain.

"Chris Rodriguez, everyone!" Apollo announced, motioning to Chris.

The crowd cheered as Chris made his way to center stage where a microphone on a stand was waiting for him.

"Good luck buddy." said Apollo, taking the microphone away from his mouth. "Do good, I'm sick of Ke$ha."

Chris nodded with a smile before holding onto the microphone. He waved to the sound guy to show he was ready.

My Chick Bad

By Chris Rodriguez

[Chorus]
"My chick bad
My chick hood
My chick kills stuff like ya chick wish she could
[repeated]
My chick bad, badder (badder) than yours
My my chick bad, badder (badder) than yours
My my my chick bad, badder (badder) than yours."

The curtains behind Chris opened up to reveal about six posts in a semicircle around a tall knight. Chris walked over to the knight, and to everyone's surprise it started moving. They began to dance hip hop together.

[Ludacris - Verse 1]
"Listen I'm saying my chick bad
My chick hood
My chick kills stuff like your chick wish she could
My chick bad, badder than yours
My chick fights in ways that I can't even put in words
Her growl so ferocious.
Her stare so severe.
So fool pipe down 'cause you don't want her to hear.
My chick bad, tell me if you've seen her
She'll hit you so hard your voice will sound like Justin Bieber."

The knight pretended to sing opera and the audience laughed. Chris continued rapping and looked down at Clarisse. As he suspected, she was slightly blushing. She didn't look angry, which was a good sign, but when she caught his eye she mouthed a curse at him. Percy laughed and she swatted him with her arm.

"Add her heavy blade to her huge build.
When you see her coming you'll melt into chocolate milk.
No time for games, prepare to be owned.
My chick bad, tell your chick to go home!"

[Chorus]

[Ludacris - Verse 2]
"Now your girl might be strong but my girl stronger
When she pulls on your arm it will end up longer.
She knock a demigod out aaaand fight!
Like if Hera saw Zeus with another man's wife.
Yeah she can be a little vicious
And often times she's punished; has to wash them' dirty dishes
Got some siblings and they all a little crazy
You can stay safe, if you just don't make em' angry
But she's still not the type to steal kids' balloons
She's not the bad girl that you see in cartoons.
She's a romantic in disguise, but she won't dare tell ya'
My chick's so great, I'm a really lucky fella!"

The audience turned around to look at Clarisse and she crossed her arms, trying to look tough. When they continued watching her, she made a rude gesture with her hands… They turned back around.

Suddenly, the suit of armor stepped up next to Chris and pulled her helmet off to reveal long brown hair. A son of Ares in a wig took the microphone from Chris and begin singing the Nicki Minaj part of the song.

[Chorus]

["Clarisse la Rue"]
"Yo, yo now (now, now, now, now) all these morons wanna try and try to beat me.
But I take a left and leave them lookin to try to find me.
Trash talk to em then I punch em, look, it's easy
Run 'round the arena, gosh you chumps making me sleepy
You're going down, basement, Percy, Nico, Annabeth, Piper, Leo, Jason
Tuck yourself in you better hold on to your teddy
I'm a nightmare a demon, Camp Half-Blood are you ready?"

The audience erupted into cheering as "Clarisse" and Chris pointed out into the crowd. Sufddenly the posts that were in the semicircle behind Chris and "Clarisse" lit up in flames. The campers in the front few rows jumped in their seats as the flames blew up a good six feet.

(My chick bad)
"Harpies cooking for me, they say my muscles so big
Artemis is surely looking for me
You so wimpy to me
I'm such a bad, mad, clad, you ladies sad you can't be like my dad."

[Chorus]

As Chris sang the chorus, he stepped down the steps of the stage and weaved his way around campers. Finally he reached a blushing Clarisse.

"And when we all alone (I'll put my arm around her) and thank Lord Zeus (that I finally found her)."
(Repeat 4x)

He ended the song by wrapping his arms around a blushing daughter of Ares. She rolled her eyes and tried to push him off but Chris knew she was happy, and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Rachel Hart!" Apollo called out from the stage.

Nico yawned, not bothering to cover his mouth with his hand. He had been up late last night talking on the phone with one of his friends from his old school. He really was not in the mood for training which he had after this. In fact, he felt like heading back to his cabin and taking a nap. After training you can take one. He promised himself. He turned to Chris who was sitting next to him.

"You're so lucky you get to skip training, man." Nico said wiping his eyes. "I'm so tired."

"You think you're tired?" Chris said. "I was up all night trying to rhyme." he chuckled. "I'm surprised I'm not sprouting poetry."

"You did good, though." Nico said with a nod. "Clarisse was blushing." he snorted. "I've never seen that before."

Chris laughed. "Yeah, I know right?"

They both snickered.

"Nico Di Angelo!" Apollo called.

Nico froze. Had Apollo really just said what Nico thought he had? No, he must be delirious from lack of sleep. Yeah, that's what it was. But then, how come everyone had turned to stare at him?

"Good luck, man!" Chris said, an amused expression on his face.

"No." Nico whispered. "Dude, I can't sing!"
"Go!" insisted Rachel Dare, pushing him on the back.

Gulping, Nico stood up. He stepped around campers and slowly made his way up to the stage. He stood in line next to the other nine demigods who had been chosen and stared at the few hundred eyes that were pointed in his direction.

"Holy crap." he muttered to himself.

"I know, dude, believe me." Nico turned to see a Hephaestus kid with the same terrified expression on his face.

"This cannot end well." Nico said.

Apollo began passing around the hat and Nico's fears proved to be true when he opened his slip of paper.

"Oh Hades, no." he exclaimed in horror.

"What'd you get?" the Hephaestus kid asked leaning over Nico's shoulder to see. "Ooh…" he said with a pained expression on his face. "Ouch, man. That's not going to be fun."

Nico held his forehead beginning to feel a headache coming on. It was about now that he realized that he would not be getting a nap today.

Yay! Nico's next! :D Anyway, this song is by Avril Lavigne and it was top on iTunes not too long ago. Let's see who can figure it out…