Title: You Found Me
Full Summary: Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible.
Pairings: Canon
Rating: M, for language and future sexing.
Chapter: Fifteen; Threatened
POV: Edward
AN: I think this is a chapter many of you have been waiting for. It contains some interesting developments. I hope it's what you expected :)
I lied about Edward and Alice's back story, to those of you who talked to me about it in reviews. (Oops.) That will actually appear mostly in the next chapter.
As always, thanks to all of you out there reading and reviewing, you make this worthwhile. Another round of thanks to Jana, who put up with me like a champ through this juggernaut of a chapter.
xx
At the sight of the familiar ink-coloured pixie cut, I was almost stunned into forgetting that I was holding a breakable human. If not for the subconscious part of me that refused to allow any harm to come to Bella, I might have dropped her.
The almost slip in control reminded me that there was another threat to Bella's safety. One that apparently preferred to go by the name Alice.
The scent of Bella's blood had probably been what lured her to me in the first place. I didn't care about our history. If she tried to lay a finger on Bella, I would take her down without a second thought.
"Back off," I growled, "I don't care what the fuck your name is now. She's mine. Stay away from her."
"I know," she said gently, raising her hands defensively. Her thoughts mirrored the sentiment but my annoyance didn't lessen. "Calm down." She had the nerve to attempt to sound soothing. My mate was hurt and she was trying to tell me to calm down? "I don't want Bella hurt any more than you do. But it's important that you avoid taking her to the hospital."
Though I was inclined to believe that she had no intentions of hurting Bella based on the sincerity of her thoughts, I certainly wasn't willing to bet Bella's life of on it. She needed treatment immediately.
"How do you know her name?" I asked suspiciously. I knew I hadn't mentioned Bella by name. "She's injured and I can't help her. I don't care what you would rather I do or don't do. I'm taking her to the hospital," I added, not waiting for an answer to my question. It wasn't really important in the scope of things. Bella needed care only a hospital could provide. Arguing was only wasting valuable time.
We go to school together. She's in my Spanish class, Alice thought.
That answered one question but opened the door to several others in its place.
If she was telling the truth, would Bella recognize her? Why was Mary Alice attending a human high school in Forks in the first place? Last I'd seen her, she'd been planning to head South.
"If you take her to the hospital you'll cause a scene," she explained hurriedly, her words bordering on gibberish in her rush to get them out. "You're not calm, Edward. An emotionally charged vampire in a human hospital? Not a good idea, trust me. I know you've been abstaining from human blood lately but you will make an exception for donated blood. You're in no state to go in there now. Trust me on this."
I contemplated what she was saying about donated blood. It made sense. I wondered why I hadn't thought of consuming donated blood to combat my inability to hunt before. It seemed like the perfect solution to my current predicament. No one would be hurt and I could get the nutrition I needed. I made a note to look into locating a few pints to tide me over while Bella was getting treatment.
An image of me rampaging through the hospital, hungrily ripping blood bags from IV poles like a raving lunatic flashed through Alice's mind.
I scowled, annoyed. "I don't care what you think will happen, Mary Alice," I sniffed. "I do have some control. I'm carrying a bleeding human for fucks sake. Hospitals smell sterile. The scent of blood will be dampened enough for me to retain control."
"Edward, we really don't have time for this now," she said impatiently, unsuccessfully trying to curb the urgent undertones to her voice. "There are some things I haven't told you. What you just saw is not what I think will happen, it's what will happen. When you made the decision to consume donated blood, I saw what would happen if you did. I can see the future. And based on my predictions, you're too thirsty and too emotionally keyed up right now to safely enter the hospital without making a scene. The only reason you haven't killed Bella is because you can't hurt her. You love her."
"What do you mean you can see the future?" I gaped, eyes narrowed.
That was an awfully big secret to keep. Had I ever really known anything about her? I'd spent five minutes with Alice and she'd made me question everything I'd known about her. The strange ability to control her hunger in the presence of blood, her golden eyes and now the ability the read the future?
"I thought you didn't have a gift? How could you possibly have hidden something like that from me?"
"Very carefully. I'm sorry, Edward, but I didn't have a choice." Her voice was thick with remorse but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Both of our lives depended on you thinking I was talentless."
I shook my head in disbelief. "And they don't now? What's changed? You know what? I don't care if you are clairvoyant," I grumbled. "I have to take Bella to the hospital. If I know the future, I can change it. Isn't that how it works? She needs healing only a hospital can provide. I'll figure out a way to control myself."
"That's what I came to tell you," Alice snapped. I fought the urge to slug her. My mother had taught me better manners than that. "Before you interrupted, like ten times, I was trying to tell you there's another way. So, if you'd like to shut up for just one minute, I can explain." She glared at me.
"I'm listening," I snapped back, annoyed, though most of my focus remained on Bella. The soft thrum of her heartbeat assured me she was holding on. Usually I prided myself on my patience but this little imp was testing my limits. Bella needed help now. Prolonging her pain was unacceptable.
"My father – Carlisle – he's a doctor. He can help her. They sent me to get you, because they thought you would be more willing to listen to someone you recognized." A flurry or faces streamed through her mind, each with bright golden eyes. She settled on a handsome blond. His defining feature was a jagged, raised scar on the left side of his face.
Carlisle.
I was really getting sick of hearing that name.
The guy had been interfering in my business and crowding my thoughts for weeks now. I didn't want nor need his help in any way, shape or form.
When it clicked that Bella had mentioned the name Alice last week when discussing the Cullens, I felt stupid for not making the connection myself. How many golden-eyed Alices could there be in Forks? Of course she was in league with Carlisle Cullen. At least this meant the Cullens were probably a sub-species of vampire and not some new undetermined mythical creatures.
I knew for certain Alice was a vampire, so the others were likely as well. That still didn't explain the different coloured eyes. How had Alice changed hers? They'd been the crimson typical of newborn vampires when I'd last seen her. Were all of the Cullens simply wearing contacts to mask their real eye-colour? I had heard of vampires wearing coloured contacts for vanity's sake; red wasn't exactly the most charming eye colour in existence after all. Perhaps it was a symbol of loyalty to their coven. I couldn't make out the plastic rim of colour contacts in her eyes but that didn't necessarily mean the colour wasn't somehow artificial.
"Why should I trust you? Or him?" I growled.
Carefully, I removed myself from the tree I'd been crouched in for the last few minutes, shifting Bella so she wouldn't feel the impact of my landing. I began stomping towards the hospital, partly to spite Alice and partly in anger at myself, for not realizing earlier that she was one of the Cullens.
"I haven't seen you in eight decades. I have no reason to trust you and I have no interest in seeing Dr. Cullen," I spat. "He's been shadowing me for weeks. Now it makes sense. It has been your influence, hasn't it? I already have a coven. I don't need yours."
Alice followed diligently, careful to keep her distance from Bella. When she stepped too close, an instinctive hiss would rise in my throat, unbidden.
She grew frantic, the closer we stepped to the hospital. Since we were within sight of the hospital's many windows, I could only walk at a leisurely, human pace.
The image of the bloodbath in the hospital flashed through her mind again; this time the images were sharper and more vivid. I steeled myself, mentally promising that I wouldn't let them become reality.
"Edward, please!" she begged, "Listen to me, for Bella's sake. Don't let her suffer because you're angry with me. I know I've lied and that I've given you no reason to trust me, but my family can help you. We live differently than most vampires. We don't hurt humans. We won't hurt Bella, either. Please, just give me a chance to explain. After we patch up her arm, I'll tell you everything you want to know."
I glanced at the girl cradled in my arms. She was paler than usual due to the blood loss. I'd tried to stem the flow with my torn shirt but it was only a makeshift solution. Bella wouldn't be able to tolerate much more lost fluid; she needed immediate medical attention. I could feel the faint pulse of her heartbeat, but it was slower than what I had become accustomed to. I didn't want to put her in further danger because I was too stubborn to accept help.
The paleness of her skin, slightly blue-tinted and her closed eyes made her look like a sleeping angel. She didn't deserve the pain. I didn't want her to ever feel pain again. I also didn't want Bella to see me as the monster the future promised I'd be if I stepped foot in that hospital. For Bella, I wouldn't let myself be that monster ever again.
That thought was the final push I needed to take Alice's proffered alternative.
"Okay," I said gruffly. "I'll come, but Bella stays with me, no matter what happens."
While I would definitely be outnumbered – Alice's thoughts revealed images of four golden-eyed vampires other than herself – I doubted they would harm me, since they'd gone through the trouble of protecting me in the past. If Victoria was right about west coast vampires being talent-hoarders, they wouldn't put Bella or I in jeopardy and risk losing my gift.
"Okay! Thank you!" Alice grinned, relief colouring her features. Her thoughts expressed her desire to hug me. Since I was holding Bella, she wisely chose to keep her distance. "You won't regret it!" She jerked her head to the east. "This way!" She set off at an eager sprint in the direction she'd indicated.
I followed her, my longer legs allowing me to easily keep pace with her, though she was running as fast as she could. We didn't say anything as we ran. I ignored Alice's thoughtful inner monologue, monitoring Bella's vitals closely instead, attempting to reassure myself that she would be okay.
"We're almost there," Alice said simply, after a few minutes of seemingly aimless running. She spared a glance at Bella. "In seven seconds she's going to wake up. She's going to be scared; she'll need you to comfort her."
Precisely seven seconds later, Bella's eyes fluttered open, the warm chocolate colour greeting me like a dearly missed friend. She didn't seem scared to me. To the contrary, her eyes held strength and determination.
"Shh, quiet," I murmured, adjusting my hold on her, so most of her weight was balanced in one of my arms, her small body almost weightless. I placed a gentle finger over her lips, when they twitched in an effort to speak. "Save your energy. I know we have lots to talk about. There will be plenty of time for talking later, once your arm has been treated."
She nipped at my finger, a defiant spark shooting across her face. I couldn't help but smile at her innate stubbornness. Even flanked by vampires, with a broken arm and massive blood loss, she retained the feisty spark that was simultaneously endearing and infuriating.
She did seem more alert than when she'd briefly awoken last time, something I took as a good sign. Still, I wasn't going to take any risks.
"I'm sorry," I explained. "You've already passed out on me twice already. I don't want to make it three. When your arm is in a cast, you can yell at me all you like."
"It's the blood," she mumbled, her forehead pressed against my shirt, the sheen of sweat that covered it dampening the fabric. "The smell of it makes me woozy. Right now all I can smell is you; it's much, much better than blood." I nodded, relieved to hear it hadn't been intense pain that resulted in her fainting.
"We'll get you cleaned up as soon as possible," I promised. "Alice Cullen's taking us to her father. Dr. Cullen has offered his services."
Bella nodded weakly, too drowsy to protest.
Alice, who had been politely keeping her distance, interrupted to announce we'd reached the Cullen estate.
It was a massive glass and steel structure masquerading as a house. I wondered how five vampires lived in what was quite literally a glass house without breaking anything. Simply walking across the threshold, I worried the solid weight of my footsteps would reverberate enough to break the walls.
Alice eyed me, amused. "No need to step lightly. The walls are reinforced glass, you won't break anything unless you try something stupid."
The moment we stepped foot in the house, me slightly behind Alice, four other vampires, each with bright golden eyes, eagerly rushed into the foyer, a mixture of pleased and contemplative looks on their faces.
The tenor of their minds suggested they were merely trying to be friendly and introduce themselves but my instincts insisted otherwise. With all of them coming at me at once, I couldn't hope to defend myself. If even one of them decided to attack Bella, I would be fighting a losing battle with three more to back up the first… I cursed myself for being stupid enough to listen to Alice when she insisted she could help. I hardly knew her and she'd proven untrustworthy before…
I retreated several steps with Bella still in my arms, a defensive snarl tickling my throat. I kept all five vampires, including Alice, in my sight, not wanting to take any chances.
The first thing I noticed was the honey-blond vampire was littered with an astounding array of bite-shaped scars. They would have been hardly detectable to human eyes but the toxic venom infused within each mark had left them slightly raised above the otherwise smooth texture of his skin. They were glaringly obvious to my eyes and threatening beyond belief. It was the skin of a born killer. No one who'd challenged this man made it out of the fight alive.
Bella clutched her good arm around my neck. She didn't seem as perturbed as I was, but must have read the alarm in my expression. Her hand curled into the hair at the back of my neck, raking through the strands soothingly. I was ashamed she was trying to calm me when she was the one with a broken arm.
Alice groaned at her family, her little hands on her hips. "What did I tell you guys about crowding Edward? I give you all one tiny, little, crucial instruction to follow, and you can't do it? Do you want to overwhelm our guest? I'm sure Edward will be pleased to introduce himself to you all. Later. Separately," she stressed, shooing them away. I might have been irritated she was speaking on my behalf but I was more relieved to see them leave.
Several groans and grumbles rang from the group but they appeared to accept Alice's authority on the matter. The darker haired of the two blonde men and an auburn-haired woman offered warm smiles in my direction before retreating. The blonde female spared Alice a look of irritation, internally grumbling about wanting to meet "the asshole Carlisle nearly got us all killed for." She was irritated that he would spare my life at the potential expense of hers.
When she caught my eye, her thoughts turned even nastier. Yeah, I know you can hear me, jackass. Just so you know, I meant every word. Especially the part about you being an asshole. And a jackass.
I clutched Bella tighter to me as the surly blonde swished her hair and delicately stomped away, leaving only Alice and the platinum blond man I recognized from her thoughts as Carlisle in the entryway. Bella took in the silent exchange but didn't comment. Her head lolled on my shoulder, her nose tucked against my shirt. I could tell she was fighting the urge to close her eyes, probably a result of the pain she was in.
The sooner Bella received her cast and we got the hell out of here, the better.
Alice was mentally sorting through a dozen different images in her mind – snippets of possible futures, I realized. Things that hadn't happened, but might. Unlike her vision of me drinking blood in the hospital, these visions weren't imminent. They were threads of possibility, some more likely to become reality than others.
"Sorry about Rosalie. I know she was thinking some nasty things, based on your most recent decisions regarding our family. Please don't let her scare you away. She's a little intense, but she'll grow on you."
I nodded numbly, not sure how to respond to that, especially in front of Bella. Alice was making it sound like I would be around often.
Based on Rosalie's internal grumblings, which were still rumbling from somewhere upstairs, I wasn't sure that was a good idea for any of us.
Thankfully, Alice didn't seem to be expecting a response from me because she continued eagerly. "This is my father, Carlisle," she introduced, hugging his arm affectionately. "He's been looking forward to meeting you, Edward. Bella, I believe the two of you have met before."
Bella bobbed her head slightly against my shoulder, offering a mild wave.
Carlisle nodded kindly to her and extended his hand to me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Edward. And to see you again, Bella, though, these are unfortunate circumstances."
His thoughts were warm, friendly, and among the most genuine I'd ever come across. He seemed like the kind of person who was difficult to dislike, though I still felt I had reason to be wary of him.
I shook his offered hand, deciding it would be rude not to. His skin was the same temperature as mine. Definitely a vampire.
"I'm pleased to meet you as well. I don't mean to seem rude by stilting pleasantries… but Bella's injury needs to be dealt with and we were told you had the means to deal with medical emergencies."
He nodded. "I'm a registered physician."
"You intend to treat Bella yourself?" I wondered stupidly. "I assumed your title was in name only and that we'd be dealing with an associate of yours… but you're truly a doctor? How is that possible… with the blood?" I knew my question had to seem odd to Bella but I didn't care. I wasn't going to entrust him with her safety until I had a few answers. Thankfully, Carlisle had the insight to be more discreet than I had.
Many things are possible, if you want them badly enough, Edward. I assume Alice has told you a little of how our family lives differently than others of our kind? After so many years of working alongside injured humans, I have trained myself to be immune to the scent of blood. It's not been easy, I'll admit, but I've always found enjoyment in healing others. Being a vampire could not and has not prevented me from putting my passion to good use. In actuality, it has only aided me. I am capable of detecting many things human doctors cannot. Bella will be in the most capable of hands, should you entrust me with her health. I assure you none of my patients walk away in worse shape than they came to me in, unless it is beyond my power to help them.
"Yes, I intend to treat her myself," was all he said aloud. "Dealing with blood is a necessary part of the job."
"Edward, you're being overprotective. He's a good doctor," Bella mumbled into my shirt. "He gave me stitches in my foot last year."
I shrugged uncomfortably, stroking Bella's hair, to comfort myself as much as her. Her confirmation that she'd been treated by Carlisle before, without catastrophe, was encouraging.
It was too late too go to the hospital now. I didn't want her to suffer because I'd impetuously trusted Alice on her behalf. I would by her side at all times to ensure he didn't overstep any boundaries, I reminded myself, attempting to assuage my uncertainty.
"I want to make sure that you'll be okay. These aren't ordinary circumstances. Hospitals guarantee the authenticity of their doctors. Here there are no such promises."
"She's right. She'll be fine, Edward. My father knows what he's doing," Alice promised.
She focused on an image of Bella laughing, a bulky cast on her arm. I offered a weak smile in return. Though the picture of future Bella, happy and laughing, was reassuring, I also knew Alice's visions were not absolute. I'd not destroyed a hospital as her vision in the forest suggested I would. Granted, in the end I'd avoided the circumstances that would have made it a reality, but at one point, it had appeared to be inevitable. How was I to know if Alice's vision was faulty or if I'd made a conscious choice to alter the future? Either option seemed equally possible.
If you entrust Carlisle with Bella's health, this is the guaranteed outcome, Alice explained in response to my doubt. Some things I can see with more certainty than others. Since this – Carlisle's ability to safely heal Bella – is not so reliant on decision-making, I can be more sure it is the correct outcome I'm seeing.
It was eerie how she could respond to my unvoiced concerns. Though I intruded upon the minds of others on a daily basis, I'd never had my own thoughts or feelings breached, nor had anyone directed their thoughts at me, intending for me to hear them. It was unsettling. It felt like too intimate a link to have with these strangers I hardly knew.
"I don't want her to be in pain any longer," I said simply.
Carlisle took that as an affirmative.
"I'll get my supplies. Please take a seat in the living room. I'll be in in just a moment."
I followed Alice into a spacious living room, laying Bella tenderly on the most comfortable looking sofa in the space. I didn't particularly care if blood stained the pristine white. I'd buy the Cullens a new couch if necessary.
Once Bella was situated, I kneeled at her side, clutching her good hand. Alice turned to us apologetically. I knew immediately from her expression that the scent of Bella's blood had become too overwhelming for her to stay any longer.
I might have felt the same, potent as Bella's blood was, but my worry eclipsed my blood thirst. I knew I couldn't leave her now. I had no guarantees Carlisle Cullen wouldn't hurt her, in spite of his vow that he didn't hurt humans. I wanted to be around her, in case there was an incident.
I'm not as well versed as my father in controlling my blood thirst. Being around a bleeding human is not easy for me; I don't want to risk a split-second slip I might not see in time to prevent. You really have incredible control, for a human-drinker, you know. Even though you care for Bella, it doesn't account for your ability to restrain yourself so completely. You share my father's compassion, to some degree, I think.
I smiled in acknowledgement of what I was sure was intended as a compliment. Truthfully, her comments about me being a human-drinker only served to bolster my curiosity about the Cullens' alternative lifestyle. I'd never heard of vampires drinking anything but human blood.
Perhaps the Cullens had devised some sort of synthetic alternative. If it were golden in colour, that might account for the strange eye-colour.
By the way, Bella knows more than you have given her credit for. Once you're alone, she's going to want to talk to you. Don't be afraid. Talk to her, honestly. She trusts you.
Trust a psychic to be inexplicably vague. That told me nothing about what to expect, except that it involved Bella and would upset me.
Shut up and stop over-thinking everything, would you? This is something you actually want to hear, trust me. And before you ask me to tell you what I'm talking about: you already know, stop being a wuss and stop hiding from yourself.
I made the decision to grumble back, hoping she received my silent irritation.
I heard it.
Good.
But you're still a wuss for pretending you don't know what I'm talking about.
I glared at her openly. She grinned and turned to Bella, effectively shutting me out.
"I'm sorry to leave you this way, Bella," she explained, peering down at her injured friend, "but I have something I must attend to immediately. Edward will make sure my father takes good care of you while I'm gone, I'm sure. I'll be back to sign your cast."
Bella mumbled a goodbye, squeezing my hand tightly, her heartbeat picking up pace. I squeezed back, wondering why she was so nervous. Alice had said I would be the one upset by the impending conversation.
Bella surreptitiously tilted her head to check that Alice was gone. Once she was sure she was, she whispered, "I know," her eyes wide.
I nodded, Alice had told me as much. "What do you know?"
Her heart was beating frantically. I stroked her hair away from her forehead, encouragement for her to relax.
Before she could answer, Carlisle returned carrying a box of medical supplies. I couldn't find it in me to care that our conversation would be put on hold if the interruption meant Bella would finally get her arm sewn up.
"Sorry for the wait," he said, contrite. "I couldn't find my fiberglass tape. Esme enjoys cleaning and sometimes the supplies in my office are a casualty."
Neither Bella nor I said anything, our eyes still locked on one another's. Carlisle looked between the two of us apologetically.
I didn't mean to interrupt. I'll get the cast on quickly. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes.
He cautiously removed the makeshift sling I'd made, studying Bella's arm with analytical eyes.
"It seems you've suffered a radial shaft fracture," he diagnosed as he applied local anesthetic. "You've only broken one of the bones in your forearm, and quite cleanly at that. That's a good thing; it'll be easy enough to set the bone. It shouldn't require any surgery but you will feel some pain when I realign your arm, especially since it's an open fracture."
I was grateful for his straightforward approach. He didn't try to sugarcoat the situation, nor did he speak in nonsensical medical jargon. He was polite and to the point, focused on minimizing Bella's pain as quickly and efficiently as possible. My respect for him grew marginally.
"Okay," Bella winced, staring at the arm in question as Carlisle prepared to set it. I turned her head away, forcing her to look at me instead. I didn't want her passing out mid-procedure.
"Don't think about your arm. It'll hurt more if you're waiting for the pain. Think about something happy. Think about the meadow," I encouraged, hoping to divert her attention. "Remember how pretty the flowers are? You told me they were Oregon irises, do you remember? You know the most interesting things. I'm in awe of you sometimes…"
"I remember." The flutter of a smile assured me she did.
She kept her eyes on mine, gritting her teeth and grimacing as Carlisle set her arm in the proper position. My wince was stronger than hers. My stomach clenched painfully at the sight of Carlisle's strong fingers manipulating her fragile bone; it was a reminder of how easily he could exert enough force to detach her arm completely.
"You did excellent," he praised when Bella's arm was once again in the correct position. "The hard part is over. Now we just need to bandage you up, and fit you with a cast."
He worked quickly and capably. I let go of the breath I'd been unconsciously holding as medicinal smell of the anesthetic helped to ease my blood thirst, the painfully tempting scent of Bella's scent distorting almost unrecognizably.
Carlisle proceeded to stitch and bandage the area where the bone had protruded, before finally padding it for the cast.
Bella pursed her lips and endured it all without so much as a whimper, though she spared a wary glance when Carlisle pulled out a needle from the box. I could hardly watch, myself; the sight of the sharp point pricking Bella's delicate skin was almost more painful to me than it was to her. I forced my eyes to remain on Carlisle's hands the entire time he worked, prepared to stop him should Bella indicate he was inflicting any more pain than absolutely necessary.
Despite her ambivalence to most of the procedure, when Carlisle lifted a roll of pink fiberglass tape from the box to start on the shell of the cast, Bella looked at him like he'd grown a second head.
"Don't you have a colour besides pink?" she pleaded. "I don't mean to be a complainer, but six to eight weeks of hot pink? I'm not five." I sighed in relief that her concern wasn't something more serious.
Carlisle grinned in amusement but nodded, holding up two more roles of tape. "I have blue and purple also."
"You look beautiful in blue, you know" I commented offhandedly. "I remember the first time I saw you. You were wearing a blue shirt… sitting there in the meadow reading. You knocked the wind out of me in more ways than you know."
Bella's cheeks pinked slightly, less than they would have had she not lost so much blood. I rejoiced at the return of the familiar flush I'd come to adore.
"Um, blue, I guess."
You'd make an excellent nurse, Edward. You've made this experience easier on Bella, simply with your presence. You have a strong capacity for both kindness and gentleness, two qualities I admire in my nursing staff.
I wasn't sure whether he was joking on not. I wasn't used to hearing compliments like that. James, and Victoria to an extent, tended to view kindness as a form of weakness. The somber hum of Carlisle's mind suggested he was being genuinely complimentary. I wasn't sure what to make of his observation.
The three of us sat in silence while Carlisle completed the last of Bella's cast, winding and molding the tape around her arm with sure hands.
I couldn't stop myself from touching her as he worked. I needed the contact with her to remind me that she was going to be all right. The smooth feel of her hair under my fingers and her hand in mine slowly chased away my panic. As the minutes passed and the cast moved closer to completion, I could feel the stress melt away and the happiness I usually felt around Bella begin to return.
When Carlisle had finished the cast and given Bella painkillers and the antibiotics necessary to prevent any possible infections, he excused himself, declaring we were welcome to stay as long as we pleased and to call him should we need anything.
As much as I wanted to talk to Carlisle about his family and "alternative" lifestyle – a conversation I was no longer dreading after his display of kindness – as always, Bella took precedence.
"How do you feel?" I asked once Carlisle's footsteps had faded to a dull thud upstairs as he joined the rest of his family.
They were playing some sort of sports-themed video game. I was positive they could all hear what was going on between Bella and I, but they courteously gave us our privacy, relegating themselves to an upstairs corner of their own home.
Their thoughts revealed curiosity and requests for an update from Carlisle but no one was trying to intrude upon my conversation with Bella.
Bella examined her new cast, her eyes beginning to droop from the weight of the day's events. "I feel fine. Tired. I think the painkillers are making me a little drowsy."
"It's okay if you need to sleep," I whispered. "We can talk later. I can wait. Forever if I need to."
She wrung her shirt in her good hand. "I think we need to talk now. I don't want you to think I'm crazy, if I'm wrong about this… but there are some things I need to say."
"I'm listening."
"Jake… his tribe's legends, I mean... they mention these beings they call the Cold Ones. Vampires." She whispered the last word but it sounded deafening to my ears.
The cold terror I'd felt when Jacob Black had tried to force Bella to recognize me for what I was returned tenfold. The relief I'd felt when I'd thought she remained oblivious had been palpable. Now I recognized it as denial. I immediately knew this was what Alice had meant about me knowing what Bella wanted to talk about already. I'd known she would make the connection, sooner or later. Bella was too intelligent not to piece together Jacob's blatant hints.
There was no turning back now. There was nothing left to hide behind.
"I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me at first because I couldn't picture it," she continued. "It didn't make sense. You – you're one of the most amazing people I've ever met – you just couldn't be something out of a nightmare. You just couldn't. But it's true, isn't it? Burgundy eyes, cold skin, strange diet, inhumanly fast… it all makes sense. You are one of them."
"Yes," I said numbly, my throat not allowing any further words to pass.
My whole body seized up, waiting for her to tell me she didn't think it would be wise if we continued to be friends. I'd been dreading this moment. The scenarios I'd come up with didn't cover even a fraction of the devastation.
"But then I realized," she continued passionately, her eyes wet, "you're not. It doesn't matter what you are. I know you. You're not a monster or nightmare. You can't be. I know werewolves who are loyal and trustworthy. They're not the monsters legends make them out to be. So why do vampires have to be? Even if you're a vampire, you're not a monster. You're Edward. The Edward I know is beautiful and selfless and maybe he's a little too stubborn but that's okay because he's a good person. He saved my life."
"What are you saying?" I choked out, hope threatening to force its way to the forefront of my current jumble of emotions. I kept my head down, not wanting to see her eyes if it proved to be imprudent.
She slid down to sit at the foot of the couch, where I was kneeling, forcing my downturned eyes to meet hers.
"That I don't care. You're Edward, and you're perfect the way you are, no matter what you are." Her voice was strong and confident. She was handling this much better than I was. I felt ready to crumble from the intensity of the moment.
She grabbed my hands in hers. I allowed her to pull them into her lap, forcing me closer to her.
"How can you not care? There's so much I've done wrong in my life; so much I've lied to you about to keep you safe from me. You're going to forgive me for it all without hearing the truth?"
"So tell me now," she shrugged, as though we were merely discussing inconsequential details. "Nothing you have to say will make me think of you differently. The fact you have to end that statement with 'to keep you safe from me' proves to me that you care. I want to know everything you'll tell me. I might not like everything you have to say… but I know you're a good person. Bad people don't carry bleeding girls ten miles to get them to a doctor. They just don't."
"You're too understanding."
She shrugged dismissively, a wide yawn escaping her as she sunk back against the couch, tiredly. "And you're stalling."
I understood her eagerness for explanations. Now that she knew the truth, it seemed a whirlwind of doors had been opened. There were so many things I wanted to say and do and explain that I wasn't sure where to start.
"You've had a long day," I countered, not bothering to refute her claim. It was pointless. I was stalling. "Now might be a good time for you to take a nap," I suggested gently. "Once you've rested and had a chance to recuperate from your busy day, you can ask all your questions and we can talk about anything you like, okay?"
She grumbled but acquiesced.
I lifted her so she was once again laying on the sofa and pulled down the blanket folded neatly over the back of it, draping it around her. She was stubborn as always, her eyelashes fluttering defiantly as she fought to keep her eyes open.
She allowed me to tuck the blanket around her and fluff her pillows with a resigned sigh. I could tell she thought I was being too fussy.
"Will you stay with me?" she asked, her voice shy.
I nodded fervently, appalled that she thought I might leave now.
"I wouldn't have it any other way. You're stuck with me until you order me away, now."
"I wouldn't consider it stuck. That implies I don't want you to be here and I do."
"No more talking," I ordered gently. "Sleeping."
I leaned to kiss her cheek fondly, unable to contain my affection for her. At the last moment, she turned her face slightly so my lips brushed against hers in the barest whisper of a kiss.
My mind ground to a stand still, unable to do anything but attempt to process the contrasts of her lips against mine. Her supple to my solid; her warm to my icy; her eager to my hesitant. It felt amazing in its contradictions.
My inaction seemed to alarm her.
"Please don't pull away," she begged, her breath whispering hotly against my skin.
The words were both sensual and heartbreaking. How could she possibly think I would? Didn't she have the slightest idea how she owned me? I resolved to show her.
"No," I murmured, threading my fingers into the hair behind her ears, finally allowing my body to give into the desires I had been fighting for weeks. "Never."
I pressed my lips more solidly against hers. I kept my lips gentle and pliable, encouraging her to guide the pressure of the kiss, which she did, eagerly sinking against me, her arms wrapped tightly around my neck, her brand new cast little more than an annoyance.
The kiss was soft, gentle guiding and pressing. She didn't try to deepen it any further and neither did I. The intimacy of it was enough. I'd never felt closer to another person in my life. It was much easier than I had expected to be this close to her.
I had thought that the scorching draw of her blood would make it difficult for me to take this step with her and that even if I could fight against my instincts and make it happen, concentrating on not hurting her would take precedence over enjoying the moment. I had assumed kissing her would be a sacrifice I would have to make to show her I cared.
It wasn't at all. The exhilaration of being able to feel her lips pressed against mine was enough to demote my blood thirst to a distant, throbbing memory, satisfaction taking its place.
The throaty hum of contentment that rose from her settled deep within me, fulfilling a need I hadn't known I'd left unmet until now.
When she pulled away after several too short minutes, I felt like I'd lost a crucial limb. Her breathing was slightly laboured, her lips flushed a deep pink and her hair slightly mussed where my fingers had tangled in it. Contentment and pride swelled in me at the sight. She looked like that because of me.
"Any time you'd like to do that in the future, please let me know, immediately," I whispered, teasing her. "I will be your extremely eager test subject."
I ran a finger across her bottom lip gently, staring into her warm chocolate eyes. "Do you have any idea how amazing that was?"
She fixed pretty, smiling eyes on me and shrugged shyly. "I liked it."
"I hope so, because I think we're going to have to do it again. Soon."
She bit her lip self-consciously, whiteness erasing the flushed pink. I pressed a gentle finger against it, loosing it from her teeth. "Don't. I have a vested interest in these, now."
Her eyelids fluttered again, reminding me that she was supposed to be sleeping, before she had sneakily diverted my attention. Not that the diversion had been unwelcome in the least. I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
I kissed each of her eyelids, encouraging her to close them. She did so, willingly, a hint of a smile remaining in her peaceful expression.
Moments later, the slow steady beats of her heart assured me she was asleep.
xx
Originally I had planned for this chapter to have an additional scene attached, however it started to get a little long and had too much going on at once for my tastes… so I decided to cut the scene, add another, and give it it's own chapter.
Yes, this means yet another EPOV chapter, but the good news is the scene I'd originally planned is already written, so the update should be much sooner than usual. Bella will finally get her say again the chapter after next.