AN: I only got one review last chapter (Rose Emeraldfay, this chap is dedicated to you), but that's okay, because I realized things might be a little slow since I only just got this published yesterday. But, anyway, thank you to Rose Emeralfay for sending in questions! Here's a GIANT slice of virtual chocolate cake! *gives cake* Also, I am going to insert a quick-and my very first, squee!-shameless plug. For those of you who read my parody, "Maggie's Insanely Twisted Wicked Parody," I have turned on anonymous reviews, so hopefully, that will get me more, and also, remember the poll for naming the binder? Well, nobody was sending in any ideas, so I just went ahead and posted it. xxFroggyFernyCabbagexx, if you're reading this, your suggestion is one of the options, and I just realized today in theater arts class on my way out that it's the same name as one of the Beatles! *coughcough* Plug over and ramblings over.
-Maggie & the gang
Disclaimer: *spotlight shines on Maggie. She starts singing to the tune of the Glee version of "And I am Telling You"* And I am telling you, I'm not the owner! But boy, I sure wish I was! Tear down the mountains, yell, scream and shout! I can say what I want to, it still won't be mine! stop all the rivers, push, strike, and kill! They won't give it to me, there's no way they will! Aaaand IIIIII aaaaaam telling you, I-I-I'm not the owner! But boy, I sure wish I was!
Chapter 2: Death Came as a cat & gave Laser Eye Surgery during Intermission
"GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY!" Maggie shouted happily as she walked into the room where everybody was gathered and enjoying their breakfast. Well, almost everybody. Wizard and Morrible were banging on the trapdoor. Maggie unlocked it and everybody watched in amusement as they came out gasping and out of breath from so much yelling. "Okay, everybody, we have our first review!" Maggie said, sitting down on her lounge when it appeared. "But before we begin, how about a little music? What should we listen to, you guys get to pick today!"
"Oooh, oooh!" Nessa said, shooting her hand into the air. "Yes, Nessarose?" Maggie said. "Do you have any Glee?" Maggie beamed. "Duh! It's only, like, the best T.V show in the history of forever!" She moved her finger along the CD cases. "Who's up for Rocky Horror Picture Show Glee?" she said happily as she pulled one off of the shelf. "I am!" Nessa shouted. Maggie put the CD into the player and pushed the button on her remote control. The Glee version of 'Science Fiction Double Feature' started to play. Maggie sat back down. She reached into her jacked pocket and pulled out an index card. Pushing the button on the remote to make the screen come down, she picked up a maple doughnut and started eating it. When the Wicked image and logo appeared, she took a sip of orange juice.
"Okay, everybody, here we go!" she said. "This first review is from Rose Emeraldfay. Thank you for reviewing, Rose, and congrats on being the first one to have their questions answered! Rose writes, 'I have a question for Fiyero.'" Fiyero sat up a little straighter and put one arm on the back of the love-seat behind Elphaba's shoulders. "'Was the change from human to scarecrow (in the book) painful? Oh, and if they described that, I'm sorry, I still need to look for the stupid book!'" Maggie pushed another button. The screen turned black and the question appeared in blue letters. Everyone turned to Fiyero, though Maggie, having read the book several times, already knew the answer.
"Well, Rose," Fiyero began. "To be honest, I actually didn't become the scarecrow in the book. I really did end up getting killed, but not by the Gale Force. In fact, come to think of it, the author never explains exactly what happened. One minute I'm standing there, minding my own business, albeit with a cat watching me, and the next, there's these huge shadows coming towards me with these giant clubs or something and beating me to death on the ground. The last thing I saw was the cat leaving through the open skylight, and-Waaaait a second...THAT CAT MUST HAVE BEEN AN EVIL OMEN! THE MESSENGER OF DEATH CAME TO BOOKVERSE ME IN THE FORM OF A CAT!" Everyone stared at him.
"Uh...okay then..." Maggie said. "Anyway, Rose, to further answer your question, the Scarecrow's origins never get explained in the book, only the Lion's and the Tin Man's. Good question, though! Let's see...Oh, would you look at that! Her next question is for me! Let's see...'Why isn't the Cowardly-' Oh! That's an easy one! Because I'm just focusing on the main main characters, and he says like, what, one thing throughout the entire show? 'NOOOOO!'" she said in an imitation of it. "Plus we never see his face, only his tail, when Boq is pulling it, and also, one more thing. None of the other stories like this that I've read have him in it, so...yeah." Maggie shrugged as she finished her explanation.
"Let's see...Rose's next question is for Nessarose. She says, 'Nessa: No, I'm not calling you Nessarose, that's MY username, and I've had it before I knew this musical existed. Why don't you ever give your sister a break? I know it's hard in a wheelchair, but since you changed your name to Nessarose, you became a fat jerk.' Wait, now I'm all confusified." Maggie stated as the question appeared in lavender on the screen. She looked at Nessa, who seemed just as confusified as everyone else.
"Well, Rose, for starters, I never changed my name. Nessarose is the name I was given when I was born, but everybody usually just calls me Nessa. Are you sure you aren't thinking of when Glinda changed her name? Because hers used to be Galinda-"
"With a 'GUH,'" the blonde interrupted. "Right," Nessa said, "but then she changed it to Glinda. I think you may be thinking of her. For another thing, I am not fat! I mean, yes, I do admit that I can be a jerk sometimes, but I'm certainly not overweight! And as for the question itself...I'm not sure...I suppose I just...became so dependant on her after so long, what with never even knowing my own mother, and Father usually away on some sort of buisness or busy running Munchkinland...I came to rely on Fabala and the servants to help me."
Maggie nodded. "Next on the list is a question for Boq. Well, technically, Boq's came before Nessa's, but I got them mixed up by mistake, which was entirely my fault, and I apologize, Rose. But, anyway, here's your question, Boq. Rose asks, 'Boq: What were your parents thinking when they named you? That name is almost as bad as a zambedee! I almost feel sorry for you! But I liked your costume in the musical, so I won't always be on your case.' Okay, Rose, what the heck is a 'zambedee?'"
Everyone else started asking the same thing all at once. Maggie pushed a button on her remote and a shrill siren sounded throughout the room. Everybody covered their ears. "What in Oz was that?" Glinda asked once it stopped. "That, my pretties and two not-so-pretties," Maggie said, "is what my friends up above and I like to call the 'Siren of Silence,' also sometimes called the 'Silence Siren.' Every time you all get into a commotion like you did just now, the Silence Siren goes off. It get triggered when I push this button, or when you hit a certain level of volume, depending on which comes first. See, I'm just one person and I can't get you all quiet by myself. So, my friends helped me make the Silence Siren. That way, when you get all worked up, I can just hit the button, and then the Siren goes off, effectively shutting you all up so we can get back on track." When she finished her explanation, she pushed another button and the question appeared in orange. "Boq, you have the floor."
"Thank you, Maggie," Boq said. "Let's see...You know, I'm not entirely sure what they were thinking. To tell the truth, though, Boq is a fairly common name in Munchkinland. I have a third cousin twice removed named Boq, too. I think we were both named after some ancestor or something. Either that, or it's just some name that Gregory Maguire made up when he was writing the novel."
"Well I happen to love the name Boq," Nessa said, leaning towards him with an eyebrow raised suggestively. He leaned in the opposite direction. "Uh, Maggie? A little help, please?"
"Next question!" She looked at the index card. "This one is for...oh...ew...it's for that thing." Maggie made a face and pointed at the Wizard, leaning backwards. She scanned over the question. As she did, her face started to light up. "What is it?" Boq asked. "What's the question?" Maggie looked up, grinning mischievously. "Rose hates your guts, just like I do, and she also wants to know the ingredients used to make the Green Miracle Elixir." she said. Diggs started to sweat nervously. He gulped. "Uh...W-well, see, uh...I-I can't tell you."
"And why exactly not?" Elphaba demanded, raising an eyebrow. "B-because," he stuttered. "It, um...It's confidential." Maggie and Elphaba looked at each other, both with an eyebrow raised questioningly. "You have to answer, Butt-Munch," Maggie finally said. "Says who?"
"Says me, and I'm in charge around here! I make the rules and what I say goes! Unless, of course, you'd like to meet my good friend Emmett Cullen."
"What's he going to do? Stare me to death? I'm so scared!"
"EMMETT!" Maggie screamed, shooting up off of the lounge, index card and one fist at her sides. There was the sound of heavy footsteps. Maggie crossed her arms and smirked. The double doors opened and a teenage boy came in. He had the biggest muscles any of the Wicked characters had ever seen in their whole entire lives, especially his biceps. He had short, curly dark hair and eyes the color of warm topaz that had been melted down into a liquid. He had the palest complexion anyone in the room had ever seen before and had a mischievous look in his topaz eyes. "Everybody, I'd like you to meet Emmett Cullen. Emmett, this is the gang from Wicked. Guys, Emmett is a vampire, just like the rest of his family. Don't worry, though, they only drink animal blood. However," she said, turning to Diggs. "Emmett is, as you can see, very muscular. The strongest in his family, and that's saying something, because all the vampires in the world are as hard as granite. They're virtually indestructible and can withstand nearly anything in the world. Emmett here has a very child-like personality and it'd be a shame if somebody were to get injured while he was having fun, wouldn't it, Diggs?" He gulped again, looking at Emmett's biceps. "Alright!" he said. "I-I don't know the ingredients, okay? There, I said it! I bought it from a man, another traveling salesman, like I used to be! I bought the wagon load, okay? I didn't bother to ask what was in it! Please don't hurt me!" Smiling triumphantly, Maggie nodded to Emmett. "You can go, Em. I'll let you know if I need you again. Oh, and tell Alice I said hi!"
"Will do, Mags. See ya later!"
"See ya!" Emmett left. Maggie sat back down on her lounge. "Okay! Rose's next question is for Glinda. Well, actually she put 'G-E-L-I-N-D-A,' which I guess is supposed to say 'Galinda.' Rose, just so you know, the 'E' is supposed to be an 'A.' Anyway, Glinda, Rose wants to know-" She stopped as she scanned the page. "Wait, this isn't a QUESTION..." She looked up slyly. Glinda swallowed nervously. "...This is a DARE!" Everyone's faces lit up with excitement and anticipation, leaning closer to listen to what Rose wanted the suddenly very fidgety pink fluff-ball to do. "Glinda..." Glinda looked up, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. "Rose dares you to show affection for Boq for the whole rest of the chapter!" Boq instantly perked up. Glinda stood up, fists balled at her sides, turning bright red-and not in an embarrassed way, either. Her beautiful face was contorted with rage and anger. "WHAT?" she exploded as the dare appeared on the screen in pink letters. "No! No way! Nuh-uh, not happening! Rose Emeraldfay, I hereby REFUSE your dare!" Maggie shrugged nonchalantly. "Alright. Then I guess that means your choosing the alternative option."
"What alternative option?" Glinda asked, head whipping to the side to looke at the 13-year-old brunette. "Oh, I forgot to tell you guys, didn't I? You have the option to refuse any dare given to you, but if you do, you have to spend the night sleeping in the basement with Butt-Munch and Butt-Munchier over here," she said, gesturing to Diggs and Morrible. "And each dare that you refuse per chapter adds another night. So, for example, if you refuse five dares in one chapter, you have to spend the next five nights in the basement sleeping with them. But the alternative for them if they refuse a dare is gonna be a whole lot worse than that. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm working on it. But, anyway, back to the original topic. Glinda, if you refuse Rose's dare, you're spending the night with the Butt-Munches."
Glinda hesitated. Finally, she sighed. "Fine," she said, shoulders slumping. "I'll take the dare." Boq perked again, having slumped when she declared that she was going to refuse. The chair that he was sitting in became another love-seat and Glinda's chair vanished. She sat down next to him while Nessa glared daggers at her, seething with jealously, the look on her face absolutely livid.
"And last, but most certainly not least," Maggie said cheerfully, ignoring the silent exchange between Nessarose and Glinda. She managed to achieve a beaming smile even bigger than Glinda's when she dragged Elphaba on a shopping spree against her will.
"ELPHABA!" She threw her arms in the air and a fanfare played. Green and black balloons fell from the ceiling and confetti canons that had magically appeared behind her exploded. "Elphaba," Maggie said when the fanfare died down and the balloons stopped falling, though there were still a few bits of shiny green-and-black confetti in the air. "Rose wants to know why you wear glasses." The green girl smiled. "Well, as everybody probably knows, I stopped wearing them after 'Popular' when Glinda-back-then-Galinda tried to give me a make-over. After that I got contacts, but my vision is a lot better now. I don't even need the contacts anymore, and actually stopped wearing them all together by the time I visited Nessa at the Governor's Mansion and enchanted her shoes. But the reason I used to need them was because I was far-sighted."
"Really? So am I!" Maggie said. "I just choose not to wear my glasses most of the time cuz I hate their guts, grr! How'd you make yours go away?"
"Laser eye surgery during intermission, how do you think!" Everybody laughed. "Well, everybody, I'm afraid that's the only review we got today. Thank you very much, to Miss Rose Emeraldfay for sending in these wonderful questions! We hope to hear from you again in the future-"
"I sure as *censored* don't!" Glinda yelled. Maggie ignored her and kept talking. "As well as from many more of you lovely readers! We hope this chapter has been enlightening for everyone and given you all a little further insight into the wonderful world of Wicked, and that you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to send in your questions, dares, etc.! And remember, don't be afraid to ask about love lives. I'm probably gonna raise the rating a little more so that those of you with questions concerning slightly more graphic things can send them in without having to worry about screwing up the rating. We especially love the Fiyeraba Q&A! Thank you, once again, everybody, and remember: REVIEW, MY PRETTIES, REVIEW!"
AN: Again, I said it best in the final paragraph...REVIEW! Oh, also, did you like my disclaimer? It's just something that popped into my head while I was proof-reading and re-read the part where we put on the Rocky Horror Glee CD and I thought it would be fun.
-Maggie & the gang