WOOO! WE ARE ON A ROLL WITH REVIEWS! KEEP IT UP PEOPLE! *gives reviewers chocolate cake* Oh, and Rose, NO CAKE DEMOLISHING! Ok, I'm done.
-Maggie & the gang
Disclaimer: Maggie no own. Maggie DO like hit Butt Munch on head with baseball bat! (read, you'll get it soon enough)
Chapter Three: Since when can Bears dance the Time Warp? And why does Boq think he's a Tea Pot?
As Maggie came into the room the next morning, everybody noticed that she had on a different T-shirt than before, and now the shirt on underneath was just plain white without any lace or anything. Just a regular white long sleeve shirt. Her T-shirt today was from Delia*s, just like her jeans and ankle boots. It was somewhere between sky blue and navy blue with the silhouette of a mermaid sitting on a rock against a beautiful sunset and it said in white, "The Little Mermaid." Boq raised an eyebrow at it. "Uh...Maggie-"
"It's from my favorite store, okay? Besides, Ariel was my favorite Disneyâ princess when I was little! I even named one of my pet rabbits after her. Heck, she's still my favorite Disneyâ princess!" Everybody kept quiet on the subject after that. "I'm assuming you have more reviews, otherwise you wouldn't be here, is that correct?" Elphaba asked. Maggie beamed. "Very good, Miss Elphaba! You get an A+ for today's lesson!"
"Wait, we're being quizzed?" Glinda said. Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Yes," she said sarcastically, "Maggie said that because we're in school taking a test. No, you nutball! She was joking!" Maggie pulled out her stack of index cards as the screen came down and the image appeared. Her binder, clip-board, and fountain pen all appeared on the end table that was next to her lounge as soon as she sat down. "Alright, everybody! Good news! The last chapter got four reviews! Two are from Rose Emeraldfay, and if you want to include the one she sent in saying to ignore her bad spelling, we got five. Anyway, here we go!" She pushed one of her remote buttons and music started to play. Today's CD was Adam Lambert's very first album ever released, "For Your Entertainment," and the song was "Sleepwalker," one of Maggie's top 10 favorite Adam Lambert songs of all time. She pushed another button and the screen turned black. "Okay!" she said, taking the rubber band off the cards. "Let's start with PocketSevens's review. Oh! Hey, PocketSevens, guess what! I updated my parody if you wanna check out the new chapters! Sorry, shameless plug moment. Now, let's get started for real this time! PocketSevens writes, 'Fiyero: Seriously, dude? Afraid of cats?'" Nessa held back giggles as the message appeared on the screen in blue. Fiyero glared at the words. "I am NOT afraid of cats!" he said. "It's just that I found it a bit odd that the last thing I see before I die in the book is a cat of all things. Can you really blame me for making assumptions?" Elphaba moved closer to him. "Well I for one think you had every right to have a freak-out moment," she said, pulling him closer. They kissed and all the Fiyeraba fanatics around the world, including Maggie, got all dreamy-eyed and sighed. Glinda cleared her throat and they pulled apart, blushing lightly, while Maggie regained her composure. "Uh...okay...Moving on." she said. "Next, Sevens has something for Boq. The question is..." Maggie paused to check the index card. "Oh, this is a GOOD one!" she said happily. "It says, 'Boq: Okay, I'm going to put you on the spot. If you had to choose: GLOQ or BESSA?'" Everybody turned to Boq expectantly. He was fidgeting nervously in his seat, starting to sweat a bit. "Uh...I-Is it just me, or is it getting warm in here?" Knowing exactly what he was scared of, Maggie smiled sympathetically. "Don't worry, Boq," she said. "Just tell us the truth, and if Nessarose decides that she needs to attempt murder, I'll call Emmett in here." Boq gulped. "C-Can we go ahead and get him in now? Just in case?"
"Sure." Maggie looked up. "ALICE, IS EMMETT WITH YOU?"
"HE WAS BEING ANNOYING, SO WE SHOVED HIM INTO THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT AGAINST HIS WILL!" the tinkling bells voice replied. "SEND HIM DOWN HERE!"
"AYE AYE, CAPTAIN MAGGIE!" A moment later, Emmett appeared. He stood next to Maggie's lounge with his arms crossed and a slight grin on his face. "Boq, go ahead," Maggie said. "Well...um...t-to tell the truth, Sevens, I uh..." For a moment, there was silence. Finally, Fiyero said, "Say that again, I didn't understand." Since he had super-strong-vampire-hearing, though, Emmett had understood perfectly. "He said he kinda sorta can't decide which one he likes better, 'so there.'" Seeing the look on Nessa's face, Maggie quickly snatched up her cards. "Okay! Next question from Sevens! It says, 'Glinda: In the same vain: GLOQ or FLINDA?'" Glinda thought it over momentarily. "Neither," she finally said. "I'm still not interested in Boq-oh, don't look so upset, you knew that was coming-but Elphie and Fiyero deserve each other." She gasped. "I JUST MADE A REFERENCE TO MY OWN MUSICAL AND DIDN'T EVEN MEAN TO!" she squealed. "Anyway," she said after she'd calmed down. "Elphie and Fiyero are obviously made for each other, I mean look at them! They were born to be together! It has been their destiny ever since the dawn of time, cuh-learly! I would never dream of splitting them up! And besides, even if I did dream about it, I'd never actually try it, I'd have to be insane to do that. I mean, seriously, have you seen her when other girls try to make a move on him? Let me just tell you, not only do they all fail, but they also end up in the hospital with serious injuries, and I don't just mean magical ones, either!" Maggie nodded firmly before moving onto the next question from Sevens. "This one says, 'Wizard-' or as I like to call him, Butt-Munch, '-if you weren't the Wonderful Wizard, what would you be doing?'"
"Nothing. I would be retired." Diggs said in a "what kind of stupid question is that, the answer oughta be obvious" kind of tone. Maggie frowned. She pulled a heavy wooden baseball bat out from under her lounge-where do all of these magically appearing items come from?-and got up. She hit him with it on the head as hard as she could, then dragged the unconscious old man to a corner, where she proceeded to shove a gag into his mouth and then tie him up. She sat down and read Sevens's next question. "'Morrible-' a.k.a Butt-Munchier, '-if you weren't a headmistress or an-' Okay, this is heading in the same direction. She'd be retired, Sevens, isn't it obvious? I mean seriously, the woman is as old as the freaking GRIMMERIE, for Oz's sake!"
"No she's not," Elphaba said. "She's MUCH older than THAT." Everybody burst into laughter. "Okay," Maggie said when they stopped. "The next one is for everybody. 'Who is your favorite T.V/movie character?' Elphie, we'll start with you." Elphaba thought for a minute. "For T.V, I'd probably have to go with...Shelby Cocoran, the guest character that was on Glee last season, mostly because she was played by Idina Menzel, and I really like Idina a lot since she originated my role on Broadway. And for movies, probably Danielle de Barbarac, the main character from 'Ever After' that Drew Barrymore played. I see a lot of myself in Danielle; she's free-spirited and has very strong beliefs. She stands up for herself and the people she loves, and she's really not afraid to make a complete fool of herself. She just...makes up her own rules as she goes along, never really plans anything out, and is willing to break the rules she's grown up with if she has to. I can also relate to her situation at home. One parent died when she was a little girl, and the other one not only abused her, but also treated her like a slave and refused to admit that she was theirs." Maggie smiled. "You know, that movie was on T.V a few weeks ago, and I was watching it and every time Danielle did something she knew she probably shouldn't have, I thought to myself, 'Wow, that is almost exactly what Elphaba would do in that situation, how weird!'" Then she looked at Fiyero. "What about you?" He chewed on his lower lips for the better part of five minutes. "For a movie, I'd defiantly have to say Feris Bueler from 'Feris Bueler's Day Off.' DUDE, that movie is freakin' AWESOME!"
"'Bueler...Bueler...Bueler...'" Maggie said in a dull monotone, imitating the boring teacher from the movie. "I can totally see you skipping school nine times by pretending to be sick." Nessa said. "Exactly!"
"What about T.V?" Boq said. "Uh...Sokka from 'Avatar: The Last Airbender.' I enjo listening to him talk about...stuff." Maggie's face was scrunched up thoughtfully. Eventually, she nodded. "Yeah, I can see why you like him. Boq, how about you?" Boq slumped in his seat. "I wouldn't know, seeing as how I NEVER GET TO CHOOSE WHAT WE WATCH!" he yelled, glaring at Nessa. She stuck her tongue out. When they started arguing, Maggie turned on the Silence Siren. They stopped. "Nessa, your turn."
"I like Abby on NCIS. She's just a lot of fun. Movies, probably...Well, you got me on that one."
"Butt-Munchier?" Morrible opened her mouth, but was cut off. "Oh, wait, I just remembered: NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU AND BUTT-MUNCH THINK! Okay, next question-Oh, wait that's just a comment for me, nevermind. And yes, Sevens, I am. If you go to my profile, you'll notice that I said I'm a fanatic. Next review is from our friend Rose Emeraldfay! She apologizes for 'noobish' questions, she hasn't read the novel, and has only seen the play on YouTube. Her first comment is, 'Fiyero: Aw...That sucks, I liked your character in the musical-' before we continue, just let me say, Rose, that Bookverse Fiyero is NOTHING like he is in the musical. Musical Fiyero is a lot more like Bookverse Avaric, only Fiyero's not a huge jerk in the musical like Avaric is in the book. Anyway, '-but you happened to come on as slightly creepy in the Wizard of Oz, the movie. Just ever so slightly.'"
"For the record, Rose, I would just like to say that while I was with that group of bozos, I was using my best acting skills to get through all of that, and I SO did not want to be acting like such a big dork! It took every ounce of my self control not to explode and go ballistic-psycho-homicidal-serial-killer on that annoying little farm brat. The only reason I didn't was because I kept telling myself over and over, 'I'm doing it for Elphaba. I'm doing it for Elphaba. I'm putting up with this ridiculous bull shit so that I can just get back to her and get the hell outta here.' If I hadn't done that, I would've probably stolen Boq's axe and chopped her head off." Maggie laughed. "The next thing Rose wrote is for Nessa. It says, 'I'm sorry, but you are VERY annoying in my eyes, and fat was the first child-friendly insult that came to mind. No offense, but I hated you almost as much as I disliked the Wizard. You were two levels off on my scale.'" Nessa just scowled. Maggie kept reading. "That one's for me-Ooh! Really? That sounds like lots of fun! Could you send me a link if you have it? I'll have to check that out, thanks for telling me! Anyway, moving on. Next, she says, 'Boq: Well, Zambedee is a refference to a name from a book that I'm reading called 'The Billionaire's Curse.' There was a kid called Zambadee, and I couldn't get the name out of my head at the time. Thanks for explaining that, though.' Zambadee, huh? That is quite the name! How interesting. What a personality he must have. Poor kid! Okay, next, she responds to Glinda's reaction: 'Ha! Hoped you liked it. I felt Boq deserved it.'" Glinda scowled fiercly. Maggie ignored this and kept going. "Skipping that next part. Best to avoid any potential hissy fits before they start, though it cracks me up, Rose! Moving on! 'Elphaba: I know that every person that wears glasses has a story behind them. Although I don't wear any.' Then she calls Butt-Munch a cheapskate, which I have to agree with. Next review is from-drumroll, please..." A drumroll played out of thin air as Maggie moved onto the next card. "...Sk8er4LifeAndEvenAfterThat! Sk8er writes, 'Glinda: Why did ou follow the Wizard even though you knew he was a total dick-face?' He is quite the dick-face, isn't he?" Glinda was frozen. "Uh...Pass." "Not allowed." Maggie said matter-of-factly. Glinda got up and went into her bedroom. "Um...Okay, then." Nessa said awkwardly. "Sk8er asks-Oh, I can answer that one myself. It's because he's...well...him. Elphaba, you have been dared to cast a spell on a random animal and make it dance." As soon as Maggie spoke, a large grizzly bear appeared. Emmett, who had never left the room for some reason, rolled his eyes and groaned. "You just HAD to pick the stupid grizzly bear, didn't you, Maggie?" The 13-year-old just smiled. Elphaba started chanting, and in one minute flat, the bear was doing the Time Warp from the Rocky Horror Picture show, and somehow the Glee version of the song had started to play all by itself. After the bear disappeared and the music went back to Adam Lambert, by now on "Whattya Want from Me," another one of Maggie's top ten favorite Adam songs. "Next, Boq has a dare to run around screaming, 'I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT' with all the actions. Boq sighed and got up. "I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT! I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT! I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!" He repeated it about ten times before Maggie yelled at him to shut up and sit down, which he did, looking relieved. "Next, Butt-Munchier, do you like Butt-Munch, and, oh yeah, NO LYING OR ELSE!"
"Minor." Everybody sniggered. "Fiyero-WOAH, HEY, HOLD UP! WAIT JUST A CLOCK TICK, BUSTER!" Maggie started screaming at the top of her lungs. "SO NOT SAYING THAT ONE! NEXT! Uh...Avoiding the hissy fit. Sorry, Sk8er. Rose has a dare for everyone. Except the Butt-Munches. But, since we're running out of time, We'll start the next chapter with it. Looks fun! Rememeber, peeps, REVIEW!"