Title: You Found Me

Full Summary: Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible.

Pairings: Canon

Rating: M, for language and sexing. Note this warning is no longer in the future tense. We're going to start rounding some bases. Nothing intense in this chapter… but it's a beginning.

Chapter: Twenty; Uncontrollable

POV: Edward

AN: So it's been a while… rest assured, as long as it might take to update, this story will be finished. Hopefully the next update won't be nearly as long in coming :) If it's any consolation, it's a fun chapter, and a long one at that :)

Thank you to everyone who is still following and reviewing in the face of my update fail. You are the only thing keeping me from saying screw it and prolonging writing this yet another day :)

Also a major thanks to Jana, who was the fire under my ass I needed to complete this chapter :)

xx

Knowing that there was another person – a vampire no less – in the Cullens' home, whether he was regarded as family or not, did not calm my anxiousness to be near Bella.

With with the threat of an outsider lingering nearby I was nearly panicked. I wanted to believe the Cullens wouldn't associate themselves with anyone less saintly than themselves but I knew that wasn't true. They had taken me in as one of their own despite my less than perfect history.

The Cullen home loomed closer but not quickly enough. My approach seemed to drag to a crawl though I was moving just as fast as before. Jasper eyed me, my anxiety written all over his face.

"Bella's fine, Edward," he assured. "Don't panic. I know you can't hear her but I can feel her. She's asleep, dreaming happy things."

That made me feel better. Just slightly. I needed to see her for myself, just to be sure. I wouldn't be able to calm myself until I did.

Jasper said nothing as I flung myself into a tree adjacent to the Cullen home and onto the windowsill of the room where Bella was resting. He shook his head, bemused, before disappearing around to the front of the house.

Bella's sleep-warmed scent drifted lightly through the window which had been left open a crack. Grabbing the window by its frame I shoved it open roughly not caring that I might wake her. I felt only mildly guilty for my brusque entrance. All guilt was quickly squashed at the sight of her, tangled in the golden sheets, sound asleep.

She was okay.

Soft brown hair fanned around her, a sweet dream-induced smile, wrinkles on her face courtesy of the crumpled pillowcase… she was perfection.

I liked to think that was a word I didn't throw around lightly. Seeing her like that, in a bed that was technically mine… that was the only word I could come up with to describe the sight. A part of me that had been dormant before Bella's entrance into my world swelled with affection for her.

Tuning out the hum of voices downstairs, I settled next to her, watching the slow rise and fall of her breaths, basking in her sleepy glow, the Cullen visitor temporarily forgotten. As long as he wasn't here in this room, I didn't really care. I was thankful no one tried to barge into the room and pull me downstairs, anxious to introduce me to another stranger.

In the relative darkness, her face was still perfectly clear to me. I focused on the backs of her eyelids, counting the rhythmic fluttering movements, allowing them to push my tension away.

By the time I'd counted to two-hundred-and-forty, I felt calm enough to brave downstairs and meeting the new, unexpected visitor. Just thinking about it made me tense again. Vampires weren't built to like change and meeting so many new people was draining.

I opened my mind a crack, letting the thoughts filling the Cullen house to drip back into my head. With so many thoughts in one room, all equally as loud, it was hard to latch onto one stream of thought, so I let them all filter through my mind at once, hanging onto pieces of each.

From several angles, the picture of a warm, friendly face. A man with short, dark hair and tanned skin, masked by the typical vampire's pallor. Kind eyes; amber, I noted with relief.

Eleazar.

Lovely to see you.

Glad you came.

We weren't expecting you.

Alice was preoccupied.

Wonderful surprise.

A shrug and an offhand joke, then chuckles and an apology. My name was mentioned. My face occupied half a dozen minds, various thoughts circling, all with expectant undertones. They were waiting for me to come downstairs.

He's a little shy.

He been through a lot recently.

New to our diet.

Still adjusting.

Hopeful for the future.

Then… images of Bella. Warm feelings of admiration and respect.

Human.

He's grown very attached.

Finds it difficult to be away from her.

Amazing.

Special.

Knew it.

The fact he called Bella amazing put him in my good books. He was right, of course, though how he knew this, I was unsure. He had never met either Bella or I as far as I was aware.

In the brief time I'd been paying attention, his memories alluded he had come from a colder climate; somewhere further north, perhaps Canada, a setting at odds with his Spanish accent.

He seemed relatively harmless. Only a previous connection to the Volturi gave me pause. He had met Carlisle when they resided in Volterra around the same time. I wondered how come this hadn't been mentioned and if it had something to do with Carlisle's secrecy about his scar. Leaving the Volturi guard could certainly be a hazard to a vampire. I didn't know much about them but Caius was well known for his vindictive streak. Aro's temperament wasn't much better.

Slightly hesitant with this new information at hand, I unlocked the door after sparing one last feather-light kiss to Bella's forehead. I was no more ready to join the crowd that waited for me downstairs than before but I doubted I would ever be.

Alice saw me coming. Her thoughts shifted from expectant to pleased as she informed the others I would be down momentarily.

When I finally did descend the stairs, they were all staring at the entrance way, waiting for me with friendly smiles. Only Rosalie was unable to at least pretend to be happy to see me.

The prodigal son returns. Again. They'll bore of you soon enough, jerkweed, don't get too happy.

I nodded politely to the only vampire I didn't recognize, ignoring Rosalie.

"Hello Eleazar," I greeted quietly, trying to get a good read on his state of mind. Like the Cullens, his mind had the illusion of being open, but at times I got the distinct feeling he was making an effort to recall certain things in order to mask other memories.

He grinned, a wide toothy white smile. "It's pleasure to meet you, Edward. My mate, Carmen, will be sorry she missed your return. She's out, hunting. Our travels have made her weary," he explained, his accent colouring his words with warmth.

"Oh," I said lamely. "I'm sure I'll still be here when she gets back."

Carlisle's thoughts paused at my admission, happiness spilling into them at the possibility that I might want to stay with his family on a more permanent basis. I was unable to suppress my surprise.

I had thought Alice would be the one anxious for me to stay. She had made no secret of her feelings by preemptively declaring me her brother. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, though the more time I spent with the Cullens (excepting Rosalie) the more the idea didn't sound quite so horrible.

Carlisle must have read the surprise in my expression because his contemplations were abruptly replaced with a benign recitation of a biblical verse.

"Wonderful. Carmen and I left our travel plans open-ended. We wanted to meet the famous Edward. Carlisle and his family have been anxious for you to join them."

"I hope you didn't alter your plans because of me," I said, uncomfortable with the implication that I was some kind of walking tourist attraction.

After so many years of existing on the periphery of James and Victoria's affairs with little acknowledgement beyond what I could provide monetarily, it was odd to be the centre of anyone's attention, let alone an entire coven of vampires and their extended family. I was starting to feel like a spectacle and I didn't care for it.

"Of course not," Eleazar chuckled warmly. The soft sound eased my tension marginally. "It's been a few years since Carmen and I have seen our extended family. We were due for a visit. The fact you're here is merely an added bonus."

I smiled tightly. "I'm sure I'm less interesting than you've been expecting."

"I doubt that. It's unusual to find vampires like yourself. Only a handful of vampires have ever successfully trained themselves to drink animal blood. Most of them are in this room."

"And the others?" I asked, curious. It had never occurred to me to ask if there were any other animal-drinkers beyond the Cullens. If there were more… how many? How had I never heard of them before?

Eleazar's expression softened as he took in mine, recognizing my distress. "Not many more. Just my daughters. Tanya, Irina and Kate."

"Eleven," I mumbled, adding the total number. Alice's thoughts twitched, as if to correct me, but she said nothing.

"Wait." I paused, the names striking a dusty memory in me. James had mentioned the names of the Denali sisters before, referencing their exploits with human men. "Your daughters are the succubi sisters?"

He grinned, amused. "The very same. Some of the legends have been exaggerated, of course, but they stem from small truths, as many legends do."

"I thought they were fictional. I can't believe they exist and are animal-drinkers at that." It occurred to me the cold climate Eleazar had been thinking of and the succubus sisters' home of Denali were likely one and the same. "So you live in Denali, then?"

"I do," he nodded. "Seems you know more about my daughters than expected. Carmen and I should have encouraged the girls to come with us. I'm sure they would have enjoyed the warmer weather. And of course they would have been pleased you meet you. It's been difficult for them to find mates. Not many vampires are willing to consider the lifestyle change being bonded to them would require. As a single male animal-drinker, you're a hot commodity, my friend."

I stiffened. The air in the room seemed to cool a couple degrees as a brief silence fell over it, no one quite sure what to say.

"I'm not looking for a mate," I replied tersely.

Eleazar's forehead creased in confusion. He wasn't sure what to make of my icy tone. A fog of worry that he'd offended me settled upon his mind.

The others, who had been silent observers until now, chose this moment to speak up.

"Eleazar," Alice said gently, "Edward already has a mate."

"We're sorry if we didn't make it clear before," Esme added. "When we said he'd become attached to Isabella… we meant that she was his mate."

"The human?" he asked, surprise lacing his tone. I tensed, biting my lip to keep my anger in check. I knew he didn't mean anything by it – that prevented me from lashing out verbally – but it was starting to irk me that all these vampires were pointedly referring to her as a human, like being one implied some sort of deformity.

Though he didn't say it aloud, he was also impressed, as all of vampire-kind seemed to be, with my ability to avoid killing her. My irritation with the constant skepticism in regards to my ability to keep Bella safe was also growing.

Especially since these thoughts were often accompanied by gory "what-if" scenarios that I didn't care for in the least. Seeing Bella hurt, even in someone else's thoughts, was not pleasant. It was even less so when it was me they pictured causing the damage.

"One and the same," Carlisle replied, shooting a glance in my direction. "She's an extraordinary girl. You'll have to meet her when she's awake. Providing Edward doesn't mind."

I shifted on the spot. I wanted to tell him no but I knew Bella would want the opportunity to choose for herself and I didn't want to deny her the choice.

"I'll ask her. If she's not comfortable…" I trailed off, knowing full well it was a flimsy excuse. Bella had never expressed any fear around vampires, a fact which drove me insane with worry. Faced with the wrong vampire that bravery could have lethal consequences.

"Of course. It would be an honour to meet her. I apologize again. I didn't realize that you were spoken for. I meant no disrespect to Isabella."

I ran a hand through my hair nervously. Being around Bella so much while pretending to be human, had had the strange effect of actually giving me nervous human habits.

"It's fine. I think I may have overreacted." I found myself doing that often when it came to Bella.

Eleazar smiled. "It's only natural to be protective of your life-partner. A human, more so, I'd imagine. Absolutely extraordinary," he mumbled the last part to himself.

He mused over the unusualness of my bond with Bella, something vague clicking resoundingly in his mind. He'd come to some conclusion but his thoughts were moving so quickly, it was hard to distinguish what he'd settled upon.

"Based on what I knew of you, I thought it would be simple," he said, focusing on me intently, his voice distracted. I felt exposed, though by what, I wasn't sure. All I could tell was that he was looking at something within me that wasn't physically tangible.

"As always, when one becomes complacent… The reality surpasses anything I could have expected," he continued. "The depths of your control is astounding."

"I think you're assigning undue credit," I said, uncomfortable with the scrutiny. "Given my choice of mate, I think control is all but a necessity."

Eleazar grinned impishly, looking for all the world like a mischievous little boy. "Have you been able to discern my talent?" The way he posed the question, I knew he knew I could read his mind.

I shook my head. "You haven't thought of it, so neither have I. You can see something about me that's not visible to normal eyes, but I'm not sure what."

"I can, usually, determine others' gifts."

I nodded. "That makes sense. You know that I can read minds then. It's not an unheard of talent. Aro's is very similar. So why do you seem surprised?"

"It's not a precise art. Yours for instance… though I'm sure you believe it to be mind-reading, is actually more complex. If you were human, telepathy might seem to be the obvious potential gift," he explained, his voice distant, as if he was musing to himself.

"However, as a vampire, you also show signs of having an inordinate amount of self-control. It's not quite as flashy and therefore more likely to be missed. However, it's possible the two are connected and that mind-reading may actually be a side effect of your primary gift, which is simply the ability to control."

"What?" I sputtered doubtfully. He was being sincere but he had to know he sounded like a crackpot. "Of course my gift is mind-reading. I've been doing it for the last 87 years."

He smirked knowingly. "I never said you couldn't read minds. I said it wasn't your primary gift. That would be the ability to control."

"What does that even mean?" I grumbled. "How is it possible mind-reading is linked to control? Isn't control physical?"

"Not necessarily. True control stems from knowledge, does it not? Physical control is nothing more than strength." He offered a sly half-grin.

He knew had a point and so did I. He was waiting patiently for me to concede. I had far too many unanswered questions left to even consider what he was saying to be true.

"Imagine yourself as a radio," he continued, when it was clear that I had nothing further to say. "One that gets multiple stations. One is yourself, the rest are the various people that surround you. Tuning into yourself – choosing look at yourself more deeply than you usually would – results in self-awareness, and then ability to moderate your needs, desires, actions, and so on, as necessary. Tuning into anyone else effectively grants you control over them, through knowledge of their deepest desires and most private secrets. Knowing how one ticks is a very powerful tool. The fact you have not abused this gift says wonders about your character."

"That's so abstract," I countered. "How could one have a gift for something as immeasurable as control? It's ridiculous."

"Carlisle's gift is his compassion. Esme's is her ability to love with all of her heart," he offered. "Are they less gifted because their strengths can't be measured through an ability of some sort?"

I eyed the couple curiously, wondering if Eleazar was telling the truth. They both nodded at me encouragingly and clasped hands, confirming Eleazar's assessment.

"Not all gifts can be easily summed into a single word or manifested in concrete abilities," Eleazar suggested. "We have a tendency to dismiss those with abstract gifts as talentless. You are fortunate enough that yours has manifested as both. Perhaps as a human, you were a very authoritative personality, in control of yourself and others? Or perhaps a leader of some sort; someone good at understanding and managing people, yourself included?"

"I – but, how is it possible I didn't know? If self-awareness is the foundation of my self-control, how could I not?"

Eleazar shrugged. "It's not an obvious talent. You're self-aware, not all-knowing. There was no reason for you to think you had a gift beyond telepathy, so you didn't look for it. It's something of a circle. Not knowing you had it to use, it's only been put into use – unconsciously on your part – in sparse moments when you push yourself, such as when you're with Isabella, or when you decided you don't want to hunt innocent humans. You're not alone in being unaware of the extent of your own gift. Esme was equally surprised by hers, I assure you."

"It's true," Esme agreed, not moving from her position, clasping Carlisle's hand. "Who would have thought the ability to love was a gift? It seemed like something that was a given… something everyone did. Eleazar and I had this very same conversation. He's very good at what he does. If he believes your talent is heightened control, he has a reason to believe so."

"Thank you, dear," he smiled at Esme. "Despite Esme's faith, my gift is not an absolute science. I cannot say for certain that your gift is control. However, based on what I can see, that would be my best guess. Your gift seems to rest in your ability to influence yourself and others, whether through willpower, mind-reading, or even subtler things, such as your tenacity."

"I'm not tenacious!"

Alice burst out laughing. "Are you kidding me, Edward? You're the most stubborn person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing."

I sighed. "You know Bella. She puts my hard-headedness to shame."

"Which is why she's perfect for you," Alice countered. "Though, in her defense, you probably started it. She needs to be able to hold her own when you get into one of your moods."

"Moods?" I grumbled, stopping short. "You know what? Forget it. Pretend I didn't ask."

"Wise move," Jasper applauded. "You won't get anywhere fighting with a psychic."

"You never know," Alice joked. "Now that he knows he can control me…" she wiggled her fingers teasingly. "We might just be evenly matched."

I grimaced. I wasn't ready to joke about this yet. "I don't think it works like that. I can't control you precisely. I merely have access to information about you that might allow me the upper hand. When put like that it sounds an awful lot like blackmail."

"What you can do isn't so easily put into words," Eleazar countered. "Don't be so quick to write it off. It might interest you to know that Aro's gift works in much the same way."

"It does?" I asked, my interested piqued. It was no secret in the vampire community that Aro's gift was a more concentrated version of what I could do. A single touch was all it took to read every thought a person had ever had. "Is his gift related to control also?"

"In a way," Eleazar shook his head. "However Aro lacks the self-control you possess. His gift is more about manipulation. Imagine the power you would hold over others if you knew every thought they had since birth? While it's related to control, it's more appropriately equated with his need to dominate. His gift, in a way, is power. Which, as you can imagine, pleases him to no end."

"That's how he's managed to appoint himself as the law-enforcement of our world?" I deduced.

While I'd never really cared much about the Volturi, this new information made me feel a little sickened by them and their so-called authority. The thought Aro would use his gift in such a way seemed like a violation.

"Partly. Like your gift, his is about potential, rather than absolute power. His thirst for even more power drives him to use it as he does. He's not very forthcoming about the extent of his gift. Only a few know what exactly it entails beyond tactile telepathy. He knows how it would make him appear. Part of his authority stems from how he appears to the vampire community. His power games are incredibly complex. More so than you could possibly imagine. Ultimately, he does more good than bad, which is why he's gone unchallenged for so long."

"I've never been more glad I haven't met the man," I said in disgust.

"I can't imagine he'd say the same," Eleazar commented, the corner of his lips upturning in amusement. "I would think he would find you incredibly appealing as a part of his guard. He'd see much of himself in you, I imagine."

"I'd rather die than submit myself to the Volturi," I said tersely.

Once upon a time, I might have considered it an honour. Knowing that all he cared about was how powerful he was rather than keeping peace and order… it was sickening.

"Aro is manipulative, there's no doubt, but he's not evil. Power is his primary concern, it's true. But he's as a much a victim of his own gift as anyone else. He's allowed it to consume him entirely. He cares about peace and order, of course, but it's secondary. As are love and happiness, his own included."

"How unfortunate for him." I rolled my eyes. "Perhaps he should have thought of that before he decided to take over the world."

An assortment of snorts rose from the Cullens, their thoughts expressing amusement over my flippant attitude toward Aro. Only Carlisle remained still. He regarded Aro as a friend, his compassion disallowing him to think badly of the other man.

Eleazar smiled. "He's much more restrained than you give him credit for. He rules on the basis of discretion. Everyone is given the opportunity to comply with the rules. Freedom is relative, though, I suppose. I used to be a part of the guard, you know. Until I met Carmen. Aro was very gracious when I made the decision to depart Volterra."

"Eleazar…" Carlisle interrupted softly, wrapping an arm around Esme. "Perhaps it's best we leave politics alone for tonight? Edward has enough on his plate with what your gift has taught him."

Eleazar bowed his head politely. "I'm sure you'd like to return to your Isabella. I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time."

Relief flooded through me. Meeting Eleazar hadn't been as dreadful as I had anticipated, confusing revelations about my gift aside. Nevertheless, the thought of returning to Bella was immensely appealing.

I had just finished shaking his hand and excusing myself when a beautiful olive-skinned vampire slid in the back door, her long dark hair flying behind her. She almost bowled Eleazar and me over in her excitement to reach us. She clung to Eleazar's arm, a friendly smile stretched across her face.

He gestured to the petite vampire, reflecting her smile. "This is my Carmen."

She fixed warm, almond-shaped eyes on me. Gold, like her mate's. "And you must be Edward." Her genuine grin broadened. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Look at you. You're as cute as a button. Look at that hair!"

She touched a few strands, brushing them away from my face. It didn't feel intrusive, though it probably should have. There was something about her warmth that immediately set me at ease.

"Immortality has treated you well, I see. So precious. You couldn't be more than, what, sixteen? But mature for your age, no? You'll have my girls fawning over you, I'm sure."

I stared wide-eyed, unsure how to respond to the whirlwind of a woman. She reminded me of a Spanish version of Alice.

"Amorcita," Eleazar interrupted, "you missed some vital conversation while you were hunting. Edward is attached already, I'm afraid. His mate is upstairs, sleeping."

"A human?" Her shock was evident. "Little Alice was right about you," she said shrewdly, her lips curling into a knowing smile.

"I – Alice talks about me?" I glared at Alice who shrugged sheepishly.

Sorry. I had a few visions of you when I was in Denali. I was excited. When I get excited, I tend to talk. A lot.

"Often. I feel as though I know you. Between Alice, Carlisle and Eleazar … I feel as though I know you already."

"Oh, well…" I trailed off, desperate to end the conversation and return to Bella.

It felt like it had been far too long since I'd seen her, though it had been less than half an hour. It was worse, knowing she was just upstairs, just out of reach. I could hear her steady heartbeat through the flimsy layers of plywood and plaster. I wanted nothing more than to lie next to her and match my breathing to hers.

"It's okay, little one," she encouraged. The term of endearment was almost laughable. I was well over a foot taller than her and more than a century old. "Go to your mate. There's no need for you to pretend to happily engage in polite conversation for my sake. I can tell it's difficult for you to be away from her."

"Intuition," Eleazar said simply, gazing at Carmen fondly. "She isn't quite like Jasper but she immediately grasps certain things about how others are feeling." He kissed the top of her head.

"It's was nice to meet you, Carmen–"

"Oh, hush, forget the formalities, quequito. I'll be here tomorrow. You can introduce me to her tomorrow, too. I have to be sure she's good enough for you now that we're going to be family."

I smiled obligingly. "Thank you, Carmen, but that won't be necessary. She's perfect."

"I'm sure she is. Go on, then."

I didn't need any encouragement. Hardly sparing a backward glance, I ran for the stairs, taking them several at a time. The murmur of conversation downstairs became secondary as Bella's heartbeat grew louder.

She was laying exactly as I'd left her, tangled in the gold sheets. I laid down next to her, savouring the warmth radiating from her small form. I sighed, my anxiousness slipping away completely. I was still adjusting to the intense desire to be close to her always.

She hummed, shifting and rolling in her sleep and suddenly she was half on top of me, one of her legs thrown over mine. She hummed sleepily and snuggled her soft warmth against my side.

I froze, not sure what to do with my conflicting desires. One part of me – the larger part – wanted to hold her tightly and not let go. The other part – the more rational one – knew that indulging my need to hold her close to me in such an intimate position might not be wise. Naturally, I listened to the first one.

So much for self-control. Eleazar had clearly misidentified my gift. It sounded too good to be real, anyway.

I wrapped the arm Bella hadn't trapped between us around her, pressing my face against the pillow we were now sharing thanks to her bed-stealing antics. I inhaled the soft scent of her hair, letting it wash over me. The burn was minimal; more like a distant ache than intense pain. Shame prickled. How could I have ever used her scent to hunt?

I was so intently focused on her peaceful face it took me several seconds to realize she was staring back at me, warm brown eyes fluttering as she fought against her early-morning grogginess.

"Hello," I whispered, offering a tiny quirk of my lips that might have passed as a smile.

She mirrored it, her eyes drifting down towards our intertwined bodies. Her cheeks warmed and her face hardened in embarrassment as realization dawned that she had flung herself on me in her sleep.

I pulled her even closer, resting her head on my shoulder, not wanting her to be embarrassed. If only she knew how desperate I was to be near her now that I recognized her as my mate.

"You're so warm," I murmured, not wanting her to put any distance between us but unable to say the words. Everything seemed too suggestive. Less than twenty-four hours after we had admitted how we felt about each other – albeit without saying the actual words – it seemed too soon to go there.

"Is this okay? I didn't mean to… but I move around a lot in my sleep."

"I'm more than comfortable, Bella. Having you in my arms feels amazing. I'm surprised you want to be near me. It must be like cuddling an icecube."

She sighed serenely, her body relaxing.

"No. It's hard to explain but it's different. You're too… real. You aren't inanimate. You're just sturdy," she chuckled. "Trust me, you're much more comfy than a block of ice."

I laughed. "Thanks? I think."

She kissed me, the heat of her lips searing my cheek. I turned my head slightly so our mouths could meet. She responded immediately, her lips parting beneath mine. I sighed into her, gently brushing my tongue over her bottom lip, tasting sweetness and salt.

She froze, pulling away. "Edward…"

I pressed my head back into the pillow, slightly annoyed with the abrupt separation. Opening my eyes looked up into her alarmed ones.

"Yes?" I cupped her cheek, trying to be supportive about whatever was bothering her.

"I want to kiss you. I do… but I haven't brushed my teeth."

"I'm a vampire, Bella," I said simply, amused by the very human concern.

Her forehead crinkled in worry as she hovered over me. "So you can taste everything magnified. Morning breath included."

"Yes. But no matter the time of day, no matter how badly you think your breath smells, you taste infinitely better than toothpaste. You taste human, which is infinitely better than mint, at least to vampires. Mint is sharp and bitter. I'd much rather kiss you than mint."

"Okay," she mumbled, though I could tell she was still doubtful.

There was only one way to show her I meant what I said. I pressed my mouth firmly to hers, careful not to apply enough pressure to hurt her, then pointedly licked between where our lips were joined. I made a show of licking my lips, teasing her.

She laughed. "You're so ridiculous."

I shrugged, happy to be ridiculous if it made her feel better. "I don't want you to be embarrassed. You're perfect just the way you are."

"I think you stole that line from some cheesy love song." She pecked the corner of my mouth, her worries seemingly evaporated. "You're lucky you have the charm to pull it off."

"Hmm," I hummed, tilting her face back to mine, guiding her with gentle movements. Her hair fell around us, a soft, fragrant curtain of brown. She submitted easily this time, the leg which was still intertwined with mine curling further around me.

The kiss started out softly but quickly picked up pace as we melted into one another. My hands wound around her waist, travelling up and down her back, indulging my need to feel her. It was a reminder that she was really here, not a illusion crafted by over a century of loneliness.

When her tongue started to wander into potentially dangerous territory, I pulled away, frustrated with myself for not outlining the necessary limits earlier. I was doing well handling the scent of her blood but if she were to cut herself on my teeth, I didn't know if I would have the ability to stop myself from pouncing. I didn't want to take the chance.

Her eyes dropped in misunderstanding.

I tilted her face back to mine with a gentle push. "Bella, love… I want to kiss you like that. But there's a chance that my teeth… I don't want to cut you. You need to let me lead okay? We have to be careful," I stammered.

"Okay," she muttered quietly, more agreeable than I'd expected. Her eyes never strayed from my lips. Immediately she was reaching for me again.

At first I returned the kiss consolingly, repentant that she couldn't act like a normal teenager in a new relationship because I wasn't human.

Gaining courage, I gently stroked her tongue with mine, careful to keep her away from my teeth. As long as she let me lead, I would ensure she remained safe. We had known we fit together well in non-tangible ways but the physical part of our relationship was new territory and there was a learning curve because of our unique situation.

What began as gentle, conciliatory affection escalated as we both lost ourselves in the unexplored connection. Hands wandered and mouths and lips consumed greedily. Her arm, the one free of the bulky annoyance that was her cast, migrated from my shoulder to my neck, eventually tangling itself in my hair. Too soon we were forced apart so Bella could breathe.

Her heartbeat pounded solidly against my chest, evidence of her life reverberating through me, reawakening in me a pulse that had long since extinguished. In more ways than she knew, she'd brought me to life.

A swell of affection for her washed over me, like a tidal wave so large and uncontainable that I couldn't help but get washed away in its flow. While she breathed heavily, my lips fluttered around her face, dropping kisses wherever they could reach. One for the top of her head. Another for her temple. Several on each of her eyelids.

Her eyes still closed, she grinned, placing her complete trust in me and my ability to refrain from hurting her. I would do everything in my power to ensure that wouldn't happen. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open, flooding my senses with heated brown and flecks of copper. She stared, watching me watch her.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

"Nothing. Just… how beautiful you are."

She giggled. "I'm sure I look great. Pajamas, bed-head and all."

I glanced down, observing for the first time what she was wearing. A fitted lavender tank and matching shorts with little fuchsia hearts. Whenever I was around Bella, our surroundings and anything except for her became secondary.

"When did you change into pajamas?" I asked, fingering the soft cotton.

She laughed. "You've been in bed with me for how long? Most of it while I was unconscious. And now you're realizing I'm wearing pajamas?" She pulled back to sit on her knees. I felt the loss of contact instantly. I sat up as well, turning to face her.

"They're very nice…" I admitted. "It's just there was something else to look at that took precedence."

Her cheeks coloured to match the hearts on her sleepwear. "Alice got them for me, when I woke up, while you were out. My jeans were uncomfortable to sleep in."

I pulled her onto my lap, grateful I could use my worry as an excuse to have her near again, even though I knew perfectly well she was fine. Now that I knew what it felt like to touch her I was addicted.

"You went downstairs? In a house full of vampires?"

She rolled her eyes defiantly but settled into the spot on my lap where she fit perfectly. She wrapped her arms around my neck. "They were very gracious. Esme even made me warm milk. Who knew they'd even keep milk? Or pajamas?"

I resisted telling her they'd probably bought both just for her.

"Well… the pajamas are very nice," I admitted, tracing the hem of the shorts, my finger skimming along her thigh. She shivered. I pulled away, remorseful.

"Sorry. I know I'm cold."

"That's not the problem," she whispered. Her eyes met mine quickly before quickly diverting. She took my hand and returned it to her thigh. I stroked the soft skin hesitantly. She pressed her face into my neck seductively, encouraging me to touch her and I was lost.

The little voice from earlier that insisted I had no control was back, redoubling its mockery of my so-called gift. Certainly I'd become marginally better at ignoring the pull of her blood but I lacked any other form of self-control when it came to Bella.

The intensity from before was back and magnified. Holding Bella like this while she kissed me, having all her weight dependent on me, being able to hold her and wrap myself around her as she did the same, it was all just short of too much to handle, teetering between too good and too dangerous.

"Bella," I groaned, though it was a futile protestation.

She shifted on my lap so she was straddling my hips. I was effectively rendered mute. I held her as tightly as I dared, my body pressing against hers of its own volition, desperate to be as close to her as she would allow, needing the physical and emotional link to its mate.

My hand skimmed back and forth along her thigh, reveling in the satin feel of skin on skin, as she sucked on my neck. I wondered what it must feel like to her, kissing stone, but that thought was abandoned. Until her teeth raked along my neck and then closed around the impenetrable skin. My worry for the state of her teeth was nullified by the absolute pleasure radiating from the spot she'd bitten.

I stiffened, unable nor wanting to prevent the groan that fell from me. My vast mental capability was reduced to one solitary train of thought: more.

"Feels good," I murmured disjointedly. When she did it a second time, the breath I'd been unintentionally holding escaped in a sigh.

"Tell me what you want, Bella." I groaned, desperate to return the pleasure she offered.

"You. Your hands," she mumbled into the crook of my neck.

Eager to provide her with what she asked for, I skimmed them past her thighs, gently over her backside and up the hem of her tank, stroking the skin on the small of her back and pressing her chest closer to mine.

"Like this?" I asked, kissing her ear gently, eager to comply with her demand.

"Hmm, yes." She purred, shifting over me, her hips rocking gently against my stomach.

I could feel the heat of her arousal as surely as I knew she had to feel mine. The scent swirling around us was heady. She smelled even more appealing this way, but certainly not edible. My mind was as far away from hunting as it could possibly be.

Lightly, I concentrated on drawing invisible patterns on her back. Flowers and rainbows and hearts and anything I could think of to prevent myself from taking more than I deserved. When my hand accidentally brushed a bra strap, I pulled away, futilely trying to avoid visualizing what the torturous apparatus looked like.

If I let myself go now, I wasn't sure I would be able stop. And we would need to stop. Bella wasn't ready for anything more, and frankly, neither was I.

Our relationship – I hoped that was the appropriate term for what we had – was still too new. We'd only been together this way for less than a day. There were still things that needed to be said and done. We hadn't even defined what we were to one another, much less declared how we felt. I wasn't sure if she was ready. The second she was, I would be there, ready with those three words on a silver platter.

The three little words humans liked to pretend were magical. I'd never understood the appeal because I'd never understood the feeling. But now the urge to say them was overwhelming. It was like they were burning a hole in my chest, waiting to be said. Rationally, I knew there would be a better, more appropriate moment. That was all that stopped me. Bella deserved a perfect moment.

She pressed herself against me again and all coherent thought was replaced with desire. Bella clearly felt the same, if the unintelligible mewls were any indication.

Pulling away from where she'd been planting kisses on the shell of my ear, she fixed her eyes on mine. Our eyes still connected, she grasped my hand, pulling it from beneath her flimsy tank. Pausing briefly to kiss my knuckles, she placed it under the front of her shirt, encouraging me to touch.

I wanted to. More parts of my body than I cared to count were screaming at me to continue. But the voice I had ignored earlier – the one that championed propriety and waiting until our relationship was more than a day old – kicked in, rearing its ugly, unwanted head.

"Bella…"

I hated the look on her face; caught between crumpled and defeated. I almost gave in despite myself. "I want to, believe me, I do, but it's so soon. We have time. I don't want you to feel like we need to rush."

She sighed, resting her head on my shoulder. I hugged her, happy that she wasn't withdrawing.

"It doesn't feel like we're rushing," she whispered. "I know we haven't really been together, but this," she gestured erratically between us, "doesn't feel new. It feels like it's been building, waiting for the right moment to announce itself. Ever since I saw you fall out of that stupid tree over a month ago."

"I know," I agreed. "But that doesn't mean we need go all in right this moment."

She sighed deeply. "I know. But there's a part of me that wonders what the big deal is, you know? I mean, I'm 18… and… I've hardly – I've never…"

"Ages means nothing," I said firmly. "It's a number. I'm a hundred and four if you want to get technical and I'm in the same position you are. When we come to that bridge we'll cross it together. But right now, both you and I know that we're not ready to consider that step."

She glanced up at me shyly, quickly diverting her attention to the buttons on my shirt which suddenly became fascinating.

"So you've never…?" she questioned. She couldn't say the words aloud. I knew then that we'd made the right decision.

I stroked her hair, quick to reassure her.

"No."

She smiled against my chest. "Is it weird that that makes me happy? Knowing that if – when," she corrected, with a small smile, "we do…we'll experience it together, you know, first?"

First and only, if I had my way. My lip curled at the very thought of some grimy human child's hands all over her.

I badly wanted to make her happy, but not at the cost of her life. I didn't know that I would be able to make love to her while she remained human at all. My control felt as if it had been stretched to the limit tonight as it was. Whether or not she was human, I was certain that someday, somehow, we would get there. As my mate, she was it for me.

"Not weird at all."

"You were my first kiss, too, you know," she admitted shyly.

I hesitated, desperately wanting to confirm the same but I couldn't lie to her.

Bella must have realized what my hesitation meant because her face fell slightly. "I wasn't yours," she stated quietly.

"No," I admitted. "It's been a long time since I thought about her."

Bella looked torn between wanting to ask and wanting to banish the thought from memory. I waited for her to decide which before offering any more information.

"Was she… like you?"

"Yes," I confessed.

Bella sighed. I could see the influx of doubt rush to her eyes. She was feeling inadequate and that was unacceptable. I rushed to explain the best I could.

"I'd already been changed for a few decades. I knew James had found Victoria within a year of being changed… Vampire mating is a strange thing. It's very instinctual. When it happens, there's a sense of rightness and a desire to be near one another. I was starting to wonder if that wasn't going to happen for me. I thought maybe I wasn't trying hard enough and that was why I hadn't found anyone. I thought I might have to settle for someone who was merely a good partner if not a mate in the truest sense."

"But you're beautiful. Who wouldn't want you?" She seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Finding someone willing wasn't the problem. It was finding someone who I was compatible with," I explained, kissing her forehead. "As strange as it might sound to you, given we're essentially two different species, you and I are more compatible than she and I ever were."

"But if she was a vampire… maybe you–"

I cut her off before she could voice the absurd thought. "No."

"But–" she protested, stubbornly.

"Bella…"

"Fine. Will you tell me about her?" she asked, looking up at me pleadingly through her lashes. Though I couldn't imagine what good it would do, I nodded, unable to deny her anything.

"Her name was Maggie…"