Title: You Found Me
Full Summary: Edward Masen has lived the life of a nomadic vampire, travelling with James and Victoria since he awoke as an immortal. His ability to read minds has had the unusual side effect of making him a vampire with a conscience. Despite the ridicule from his coven mates, he's confident he's making the best of his existence and doing what's morally right... until he stumbles upon a brown-eyed girl reading in a meadow in Forks. As he attempts to befriend her and learns more about the sleepy town of Forks, Edward finds there's a lot more to being a vampire than he ever thought possible.
Pairings: Canon
Rating: M, for language and sexing.
Chapter: Twenty-five; Diversion
POV: Bella
AN: Some people have asked me, if I'm still accepting votes on the hybrid baby issue. The answer is yes. Until this story comes to the fork in the road, where it would have to go definitively one way or the other (at the very minimum, no earlier than Bella and Edward's first time, likely several chapters after that), I'll continue the tally, which, as of right now, is dead tied – no kidding. So every vote does count. If you're inclined one way or another, you never know, your vote might be the one that pushes it over the edge.
I am currently going through some real life changes on the job front, so a quick warning that my update schedule might be erratic than usual. My goal is to keep up with the two week-ish schedule, but we'll see how that goes.
Thank you to everyone who has continued to stick by this story. As always, reviews make me happy, and consequentially, inclined to write more – no I'm not above bribery ;)
xx
I glared down at my Calculus textbook in a pathetic attempt to scrounge up the will to complete the math equations Mr. Varner had assigned. Maybe if I stared hard enough the answers would leap off the page and into my head.
I suspected the sudden absence of my work ethic had something to do with the beautiful boy splayed across my bed next to me. He made it very hard to concentrate on doing homework.
Edward had finished his work twenty minutes ago. He'd completed the task in a matter of seconds, the numbers immediately snapping into place in his stupid perfect vampire head. Faster than I could make sense of it, his answers were neatly scrawled on a stack of papers and tucked to the side.
After flying through the assignment and leaving mere mortal me in the dust, he'd taken it upon himself to make it impossible for me to complete my identical assignment.
"Are you done yet, Bella?" he murmured, smiling at me lazily, a distracting hand making its way into my hair, twirling one of the long strands around his finger.
His hands weren't the only things wandering distractingly. His lips managed to get in on the action, too, finding whatever exposed skin they could. He had admitted he loved kissing my bare skin; it offered a whisper of the taste of my blood, which remained as intoxicating to him as ever.
"No," I grumbled, half-heartedly swatting him away. He knew very well I hadn't written a single thing on the page since he'd last asked two minutes ago.
"I could do it for you, if you'd like," he offered innocently. "It would be much quicker."
I shook my head forcefully. There was no way I was falling into that trap when I'd managed to resist his purposefully sad-faced looks for the last twenty minutes.
"We already talked about this. If I expect to get into a university on the east coast, I'm going to have to prove I've earned my place. I'll get in on my own merit, not because I'm with you."
Predictably, he pouted. "Fine." He rolled onto his back so he was no longer touching me. Immediately, I missed the contact. "Though, I wish you would let me help. Even if just financially. I don't want to help because I think you can't do it yourself. I know you're more than capable. I want to make the experience as painless for you as possible."
I scooted closer so we were touching again, my assignment abandoned on the other end of my bed. We laid side by side, staring up my bare white ceiling.
"That's sweet. But I guess I feel like I have something to prove to myself as much as everyone else. You already know how amazing you are. Hell, everyone at school has been raving about how special you are all week. I need to know I'm capable of this, on my own, with or without you there to help."
He pursed his lips but his fingers laced themselves with mine, so I knew he wasn't upset.
"If you feel this is something you need to do, you know you have my support." He paused a beat. "Though it will be a lot easier if you wait until you are a vampire to seriously attempt to learn these things. You'll just have to relearn them all, anyway."
My heart thudded erratically at his casual mention of me becoming a vampire. Though we'd talked about the possibility before, it was always discussed as a possible option for the very distant future. The surety in his voice was an unspoken promise that one day, perhaps sooner rather than later, it would happen. It was a reminder that he wanted me forever.
Edward smirked at me knowingly. Before he could offer a retort, my phone rang from somewhere in the vicinity of my paper and textbook covered desk.
"Will you answer that?" I asked casually, diligently returning to my abandoned workbook. "It's probably Angela. Can you tell her I'm busy?"
I was fairly sure it was Jessica calling, not Angela. Since she and Mike had established they were going to the latest school dance together – which I'd managed to convince Edward we would not be attending – she'd taken to calling me with ridiculous regularity to ask for my opinion on a plethora of things I had no opinion about. Really, I think she just liked someone to listen to her while she talked.
If this played out the way I wanted, I would be killing two birds with one stone. Once Jessica learned she was talking to Edward – who was too polite to hang up on anyone, even Jessica – she would manage to keep him on the phone long enough for me to finish my homework.
I wouldn't have to deal with Jessica's rambling one-sided debate about the merits of different thirty colours of eyeliner and which best matched her as of yet unpicked dress and I could get few minutes freedom from Edward's distracting antics and complete my assignment in peace. My evil genius was boundless.
Edward flipped open my phone, greeting Jessica with flawless courtesy. I could just picture her impressed face on the other end of the phone.
Edward neutral expression turned sly at the response he received. He peered at me innocuously, the heart-melting butterscotch holding decidedly surreptitious intent. I narrowed my eyes at him. That look never meant anything good.
"Mrs. Dwyer? This is Edward Masen."
Oh crap.
Evil genius, not so genius after all.
So much for providing Edward with a distraction so I could get some work done. The only person getting distracted at the moment was me.
I scrambled off the bed, moving faster than I could ever recall having done in my life. Edward didn't move from where he was leaning against my desk, but managed to hold me off easily, wrapping one stone arm around me, pinning my arms to my sides. He kissed my forehead consolingly as if that could make up for the torture he was about to inflict. I begged with my eyes to no avail.
I could hear my mom's surprised voice, through distant, warbled sounds pouring through the phone.
"Edward? It's lovely to hear you, sweetie! I have to admit, I was starting to wonder if Bella was making you up to keep me quiet. She always gets so defensive talking about the boys in her life."
Edward tensed at the mention of other boys. Silly, irrational vampire knew no one else held a candle to him.
"She wasn't making up anything. I'm real," he squeezed me, reassuring himself as much my mother.
I pouted at him, silently begging him to let me go and give me my damn phone.
"I have so many questions… I don't know where to start. Bella is always so secretive. You'll spare a mother her curiosity about her only child, won't you, Edward?"
"Of course Mrs. Dwyer," Edward replied charmingly. I rolled my eyes, knowing my mother was about to be reeled in hook, line and sinker, just like everyone else. "A mother is entitled to gossip about her children. It's all but a right."
My mother chuckled warmly. "I like you, Edward. Call me Renee. Or perhaps Mom."
xx
"Bella, will you talk to me?" Edward whined, sitting down heavily on the edge of my bed, the well-worn springs jiggling me up and down.
"Still upset with you." I peeked out from the safety of my soundproof pillow. "I cannot believe you had a five minute discussion with my Mom about the benefits of different types of birth control. That is just so… weird. My mom, and you, my boyfriend, talking about sex. Do you have any idea how weird that is, Edward? Let me explain it to you…weird!"
So weird, I hadn't been able to listen to it all. While Edward and my mom had chatted like long lost friends, I'd buried myself in my bed, shoving my head under my pillow like a ten-year-old.
Even now, with the offending phone returned and tucked into the front pocket of my jeans, I was hearing echoes of the dreadful conversation. There was no way anyone but me was answering it from now on. And my mom was definitely getting her own ringtone.
Edward's brow creased in confusion. He truly didn't understand how atypical his interactions with my mother were. It might have been amusing if it wasn't so mortifying. I understood in his day, sex was a taboo subject and not something he had very much experience talking about, but he had to have heard enough teenaged thoughts to know that sex talk and parents didn't mix. Ever.
"I was being helpful," he offered, matter-of-fact. "Renee wanted to ensure your safety. I wanted to provide her with peace of mind. It seemed like a mutually beneficial conversation for all parties."
"Except for me," I countered. "Next time I see her, I won't be able to look her in the eye. She'll know my boyfriend is in favour of pairing condoms with the pill for maximum protection, how could I?"
Edward tugged me across the bed, so he could nestle me into the comfortable spot created by his crossed-legs. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I think you're blowing this out of proportion. She's thrilled you're happy. She wants to see to it that you remain that way. That's all."
"Then why do I feel like I want to die?" I moaned, tucking my still red face against his chest. The cold of his chest penetrated his shirt easily, refreshingly cool.
He grinned teasingly. "Because you have delicate sensibilities. I thought I was supposed to be the old-fashioned one. You're supposed to be the independent twenty-first century girl, empowered rather than intimidated by sex."
"Sorry. You're confusing me with someone named Carrie Bradshaw," I grumbled.
He stroked my hair. "Lighten up. I'm just saying that there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about. We're adults and contraception is something adults have to consider; though because of what I am, it's probably not quite as much a concern for us. Regardless, if you think about it, your mother is respecting that you've grown up by treating us like adults."
"How is it that you have a way of making everything sound so much better than it is?"
He shrugged, casually tucking some of my hair behind my ear. "It's a gift. You're just choosing to focus on a microcosm of a larger conversation. It's obvious how much she loves you. She just wants to be a part of your life and to make sure you're okay."
"She loves you too. One measly little conversation with you and she's smitten. It's sickening, really. She even dropped a hint or two about marriage, already. Well, her version of a hint, which isn't really so much a hint as a blatant suggestion tempered by aloofness."
He hummed, the cat-like purr rumbling through his chest and vibrating against my cheek. "She's not quite mastered the art of subtlety, has she?"
"Definitely not. Renee looks subtlety in the face and laughs." Edward smiled at my wry tone, probably pleased my sour mood had diminished to the point I was joking about my mother's more unusual qualities.
He tipped me backwards, laying me down on the duvet and hovering over me, careful to keep a respectable distance between us. "You're not mad at me any longer?" His eyes were inches from mine, soft but hungry.
I shook my head, the majority of my brain power still tangled up in deciphering that expression. It was making me forget why I had been upset in the first place.
"Good. I dislike it when you're upset with me. In the enduring words of Michael Newton, 'it sucks balls.'"
I choked out a laugh at his choice of quote. "Since when do you listen to anything Mike has to say?"
He scowled, laying down next to me so we were sharing my pillow, facing one another. He wove an arm over my waist protectively but kept his distance. "He's… an interesting individual. He harbours some bizarre thoughts." He paused a beat, the unhappy creases on his forehead deepening. "He wishes you'd pay more attention to him."
I bit my lip, hiding the smile that threatened to blossom as the reason for his sudden change in mood and the disappearance of his playfulness dawned on me. "Are you jealous?"
His lips quirked, stubbornly attempting to resist the scowl that threatened to show itself. "No," he said in a way that suggested the opposite.
His boyish envy was as endearing as it was humorous. If anyone had a right to be jealous in this relationship, it was me. One didn't have to be very observant to see that most of Forks High was infatuated with Edward. He only had to endure Mike's fumbling advances for my affection. The competition from Mike was flimsy as it was.
"No?" I asked slyly, purposefully goading him. It was a little unethical, but seeing that protective spark rise in him because of his possessiveness of me made my stomach knot pleasantly. "Did you know that Mike asked me to go to the dance before he asked Jessica?"
"I knew," he said smugly, derailing my attempt at provoking him. My inner hell-raiser pouted petulantly at the absence of a stomach-tightening protective display. "He was moping about it for several days. He thought incessantly about how you turned him down, attempting to pinpoint where he went wrong. It was extremely satisfying to watch, even the thirty-seventh time. Though, I'm still not sure how he managed to corner you alone… by your locker, it looked like? Where was I?"
"Alice told me she would distract you," I admitted. Alice had purposefully left Edward in the dark about her plan. "He would decide he wanted to ask me then change his mind right back. He never had the courage to go through with it while you were there. He was driving her up the wall with his constant back and forth decisions. She knew if he was turned down he'd stop."
Edward rolled his eyes. "Does it ever bother you the extent to which Alice feels comfortable meddling in our lives? Do you think she would be pleased with me if I deliberately orchestrated an opportunity for Lauren Mallory to ask out Jasper?"
I chuckled, picturing his idea of retribution. I was pretty sure it wouldn't be that easy to thwart Alice from meddling.
"She'd see it coming. Alice doesn't seem like the type to get jealous over something like that, anyway. She and Jasper have been married for more than fifty years, after all. It's pretty hard to compete with that."
"I already told you, I wasn't jealous." Edward's jaw tightened, exposing the untruth in his words. "I was indignant on your behalf. You deserve better than Michael Newton. He's only a bumbling child."
"Hmm." I looped my arms around his neck, encouraging him to close the distance between us, but he carefully maintained separation. "So what do I deserve then?"
He kissed the corner of my mouth softly. "Someone who can appreciate how special you are. Someone you can trust to make you laugh and hold you when you cry. Someone who will treat you like a blossoming rose, eagerly tending to you and encouraging you to reach full bloom. Someone who will love you with everything they have."
"Do you think you fit the bill? That's an awful lot to live up to…" I raked a hand through his hair, comfortingly, wanting him to know, without having to say so outright, that I thought he was all of those things for me, even if he didn't.
He looked shy, so different from the sure and confident Edward I had become accustomed to in the past weeks. His eyes were soft and full of hope and promise. Not the wine-coloured eyes I had once known, but ones I had come to love even more, for the strength of character and sacrifice they represented.
"I hope so. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will endeavour to do everything in my power to ensure your happiness, even if it's at the expense of my own. I want to be everything you need, forever."
"You are," I vowed. "I know that I can't really make promises about a forever I haven't even begun to live… but sometimes you just know when something feels right. We're one of those things."
"I'm glad." His tone was soft and velvet. "But there will always be ways I fall short. They might not be important to you now, but I will never be able to offer you warmth or softness or a family the way the Michael Newtons of the world can." His carefully measured words and self-conscious tone let me know that he'd exposed the root of his insecurity and apparent dislike for Mike.
"You have other things you offer," I countered firmly. "Dedication and love and protection. Those things are just as priceless."
He kissed me eagerly as if to prove something to himself. I mirrored his actions with just as much fervency, wanting him to find whatever reassurance he was seeking.
Just as I couldn't offer him things other vampires could, he couldn't offer me a human life. I knew how it felt to feel inadequate about what I wasn't. Edward had always been ready and waiting with assurances that those things were unimportant. I wanted to give him the same comfort.
His hand trailed over my hip, smoothing over the rough denim impatiently. I knew he would prefer bare skin. Ordinarily, I would too, but that wasn't what I wanted today.
It had been almost a week since we'd progressed our intimate relationship in the meadow. Edward was a quick study and almost immediately, he had acclimated himself to withstanding my scent while we were in throes of arousal.
In the days following our first exploration of below the waist action, Edward, intent on perfecting his ability to wring pleasure from my body without injuring me, was insatiable, not that I put up much – or any – fight. It felt too good to finally be able to indulge the twisty, tingly feelings that fought for attention inside me whenever I was with him.
With those experiences now firmly under our belt, I felt ready to take things a step further. Edward had been selfless with his affection. It was always about my pleasure. It was about time he felt good, too.
Slowly, knowing I was pushing an invisibly laid boundary, I allowed my hands to wander, laying light touches along his thighs and upward, tracing the masculine planes.
My fingers traced the pockets on the back of his jeans, lightly. When I cupped the solid flesh beneath, he stiffened slightly, the tempo of his kisses slowing marginally. He was used to touching me. He wasn't used to me doing the same for him. I wondered what I felt like to him. Was his skin more sensitive than mine because of his heightened senses? Or would he find rougher touches a better compliment to his more durable skin?
Only one way to know for sure.
If I'd learned anything about relationships since Edward and I had first met in the meadow months ago, it was that communication was key to making them work.
"Edward?" Once his eyes were focused on mine, I trailed a fingertip softly down his jaw. "Do you like it when I touch you like that? Or like this?" I roughly dragged a nail down the same path, exerting more pressure.
He swallowed, the gold of his eyes seeming to darken right before me. "Whichever you like, Bella. You feel good, always."
I smiled warmly. He was always so eager to make me happy. I wanted this to be about him. "But which do you like best?" I interrupted before he could give another evasive answer. "Be honest, please."
He smirked. "It's like choosing between apples and oranges. Both are good for different reasons. Soft is good, sweet, human. But it feels amazing when you scratch, too, more passionate, eager. But I suppose if you forced me to choose… the first one. It's more human… more Bella."
"Okay," I nodded, eager to put this newfound knowledge to use. I trailed my fingers down his cheek, and then his jaw and to the top of his chest softly, then scratched gently, running my nails in the open area revealed by the V-neck of his t-shirt. He growled softly, the content feline sounds I loved so much rumbling through his skin to mine.
He nearly bolted upright when I ran one of my fingers over his nipple, even though the cotton of his T-shirt prevented him from feeling the full effect.
I placed a hand on his chest soothingly, encouraging him to remain still. Reluctantly he did. His eyes were slightly wild when they met mine. I might have even said he looked scared.
I kept my tone soft and soothing, not wanting to encourage his panic. "Relax. This is supposed to feel good." I continued trailing my fingers down his abdomen. The already hard muscles tensed further under my touch.
He swallowed again. "It does, Bella. Trust me, it does. Too good. I don't think I can…"
I shushed him. "Yes, you can. I know you can. You're worried you might hurt me. But you won't." Gently, I extricated his hands from around me, encouraging him to place them on the mattress. "If you're not touching me, you can't hurt me."
"I don't know…" He trailed off, probably silently supplying a million horrific what-if scenarios to fill in the blank.
"I do," I countered. "You can do this. It's only scary to you right now because it's uncharted territory. Once you become accustomed to the sensation, you won't think anything of it."
He nodded faintly, granting me permission to continue. Slowly, so he was aware of what I was doing and could protest if he felt uncomfortable, I slipped my hand under the hem of his T-shirt, gently stroking his paradoxically soft skin. He laid as still as a statue while I trailed my fingers along his abdomen, the occasional contraction of a muscle the only sign he wasn't a stone carving. He stared at the ceiling, unblinking, his jaw working periodically as he swallowed hard.
After several minutes, he began to relax.
"See?" I soothed, inwardly cheering at the progress he already seemed to be making. The fear was already fading from his expression. "You're acclimating. It's not as difficult anymore, is it?"
He shook his head, unspeaking.
"Talk to me," I encouraged, wanting to hear his voice. His body language was telling me he was fine, but I didn't want to make any assumptions. "Let me know how you're feeling."
"Good, so good, Bella," he whispered, his voice hoarse and less structured than I'd ever heard it before. He sounded like someone in the heat of passion, not yet like someone unchained, so I felt confident continuing.
"You're doing perfect, Edward. I just want to try something now, okay? Try to stay relaxed."
He nodded hesitantly, visibly concerned but trusting me not to abuse the power he was granting me. My chest swelled with a surge of affection for him, knowing how difficult it must be for someone like Edward, who was naturally inclined to want to be in control, to allow me to take the lead, despite his misgivings.
I pulled the blankets from where they'd been discarded at the foot of the bed and draped them over us. Navigating blindly under the cover of my duvet, I found the fly of his jeans and popped the top button. I could feel him, hard and swollen through the thick fabric.
He tensed and swallowed again when my hand brushed against him, but he allowed me the action. I leaned down to kiss him softly. He returned the kiss forcefully, channeling his built up tension into it.
"Are you sure about this, Bella?" he murmured once I pulled away. He sounded so nervous; so unlike the Edward I was accustomed to. "I don't – maybe we should wait. I – I can't hurt you. If I hurt you, I'd never forgive myself. "
I stroked his hair. "Shh, it's going to be fine. Better than fine. Just… try. If it gets to be too much, we'll stop. Before anyone gets hurt, okay?"
He peered at me with wide, hesitant eyes, but eventually nodded trustingly. I kissed his forehead, sealing the promise.
Just as cautiously as before, I proceeded first undoing his fly, then pulling him from the confines of his pants. I was surprised to find he had neglected to wear underwear. I supposed vampires had no need for them.
The moment I touched him, he hissed loudly, his fingers digging forcibly into the mattress. The underlying springs cried out in protest, eventually giving way to his strength. Unsure if he could handle the added stimulus, I waited for the bouncing to cease before continuing.
Experimentally I brushed a fingertip over the head, then down the shaft. His chest rumbled. Emboldened, I gripped more firmly, my fingers curling around him, a perfect fit.
"You're okay?"
He nodded tightly. It might have been my imagination, but he seemed to loosen his strenuous hold on himself, if only marginally, at the sound of my voice. If rambling throughout this entire experience was going to make this easier for him, I'd talk until my voice gave out.
"You feel so good in my hand," I blurted, saying the first thing that came to mind, although it was true. It wasn't something I'd given much consideration to beforehand, but he felt like silk rather than stone. "Your skin is so much softer than I expected," I continued, "I hope I feel as good to you as you do to me."
He didn't respond aloud but his rapturous expression said volumes.
Once he'd calmed to a reasonable degree, I gripped him snugly and began to stroke softly, deciding that delicate "human" touches, as he'd deemed them, would be more appropriate for a first try. We could work up to more.
I watched his face as I stroked, needing to see his response. If there was any sign of panic or an indication he was about to lose his apparently tenuous hold on his control, I would stop, just as I'd promised him I would.
But he didn't look panicked at all. His eyes were wide with wonder and held mine steadily, his attention wrapped up in me entirely as he listened to me ramble about how everything felt on my end, and how much I loved him and wanted him to feel good.
His tensed jaw and the inhuman growling sounds emanating from somewhere deep in his chest were the only signs he was fighting for self-control.
With my free hand I smoothed his hair. "Everything still okay, baby?" I hoped the term of endearment would comfort him, as it did me.
He nodded tightly against my pillow. "Warm," he mumbled distractedly, his voice still hoarse and unlike its usual velvet.
"Close?"
He nodded again, his hips shifting against me. Until then, I had been controlling all the movement between us. He hadn't so much as budged. His fingers curled into the mattress as if to ground himself.
"Do you think you can handle it? It's okay if you say no. You've taken a big step today." I kissed his forehead.
He looked unsure for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm sorry for making this so complicated. I want to try," he whispered, his hoarse words almost indistinguishable.
I beamed at him, proud he wasn't letting his fear rule him. Some might have said I was being reckless but I wasn't. Edward wouldn't allow himself to hurt me. That's all there was to it.
"You're not making anything difficult. Whatever happens, we'll work it out together."
I sped up my movements experimentally. Edward's eyes scrunched closed as the sensations intensified, his lip finding its way between razor sharp teeth. I smiled, amused that he was using the action he often teased me about as a coping mechanism.
There was hardly any warning before his climax hit. It all seemed to happen so quickly.
His hips bucked frantically against me as his back curled. The sudden movement surprised me, but only because he'd been so completely still before. Despite appearing otherwise, I knew his actions were carefully measured so as not to hurt me. I appreciated the immense restraint it must have taken him. He could have easily shattered my hand with an errant motion.
As he shifted against me, a growled "fuck," dropped from his lips. My mouth popped open a little in surprise. Edward never swore around me.
I had my suspicions it was another of his unspoken rules about respecting women. Which only made it sweeter when he couldn't help but curse because I pushed him over the edge. A smug twinge of power surged through me.
I was quiet, letting him come down from whatever misty space he occupied at the moment. It didn't take him nearly as long to emerge from his cloudy fog as I usually did, just a few seconds.
He sat up, fixing his clothes. When the duvet pooled around us, revealing the destruction we had managed to inflict on our surroundings, I had to chuckle.
Edward's hair was an absolute riot and his lip had a large crack in it from where he'd bit it. I was sure I didn't look too much better. Several papers – our homework – lay crumpled and torn beneath us.
That wasn't the worst of the damage. My bed had been the worst sufferer by far. The bedclothes were torn in several places, looking like they'd gotten into a fight with a particularly nasty raccoon and lost.
The mattress had several unsightly holes gouged in it, where ten long fingers had clawed at it unmercifully.
Well, this was going to be hard to explain.
Edward looked around us at the destruction, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to cause so much damage. I didn't even realize I was doing it."
I shushed him, encouraging him to lie back down to the bed, I pulled the duvet up around us. I cuddled into his side when he complied. "Shut up. It was completely worth it. Better the bed than me."
He kissed my forehead. "Definitely." He paused, mulling over what to say. "Thank you for that, by the way. You're amazing, you know that, don't you?"
I couldn't help my responding grin. "Any time. Seriously." It was all sorts of fulfilling hearing him say in so many words that it had been enjoyable for him.
His lips curled into a frown against my skin. "I ruined your bed, Bella. I'm not sure that's a wise idea."
I rolled my eyes. There was no way I was letting him take a step backwards now. "Practice makes perfect, right? We're just going to have to put in some practice until we can get this right. And we will. Sooner or later. At one point, you didn't think you'd be able to stand being around me like this without hurting me, but you did."
"Practice," he repeated quietly.
"Exactly. Besides," I said brightly, "no springs are poking out, so it's all good. If I pull up the comforter and change the sheets, I bet you won't even be able to tell."
He chuckled. "The glass is half full, is it?"
"Overflowing," I corrected.
He hugged me tightly. "I love you." He spared a quick glance at the clock on my nightstand. "It's getting late. Charlie's going to expect me to leave soon."
I hummed in agreement, knowing he wasn't really planning on leaving at all.
His idea of leaving wasn't leaving so much as saying goodbye to Charlie and then barging back into my room through my window thirty seconds later. In the past week it had become a routine of ours. For my dad's sake, he'd leave, and for mine, he'd return.
I'd spent each night curled into his side as I fell asleep. During the night, he'd often leave to hunt or spend time with the Cullens in the silent morning hours, while I was passed out. But, without fail, he was always back by my side by the time morning dawned.
I was ready to curl up in the safe little cocoon of my bed with Edward and call it a night. I was suddenly feeling very tired. Warm and content and satiated and ready to sleep. There was a niggling little voice in the back of my head reminding me that I still had to do the homework I was so adamant about completing on my own before that could happen.
It was more easily ignored than expected. There would always be the morning. I wouldn't trade a good grade in Calculus for time spent with Edward, anyway. Even if it made me sound like a lovesick idiot.
Edward pulled himself from the bed and kissed my head, his happy smile still lingering.
"I'll be back."
I nodded sleepily knowing he would.
xx
Edward sat down next to me at the lunch table, his tray full of food he had no intention of eating. Most likely, he'd attempt to coerce me into eating his healthy choices in place of the pizza on my own tray. Today I was sticking to my guns, his uncanny ability to persuade be damned. I needed more sustenance than a rabbit.
"I'm good with my pizza," I said preemptively, eying the milk carton on his tray with distaste. I hated the taste of milk.
He looked at me innocently, shifting his lunch away from me, as if to protect it from me. "Who says I intend to share?"
I snorted unladylike. "Past experience. You barely managed to choke through a handful of popcorn and popcorn is delicious."
He grimaced at the memory. "It is not. It was awful, even for human food. Tasteless and squishy."
"If you think popcorn is awful, imagine how much worse healthy food tastes," I said, hoping to appeal to his vampiric distaste for human food.
"Nice try. I happen to know natural fruits and vegetables are delicious." He kissed my ear. "For instance, you smell like strawberry."
"I'm not drinking your milk," I stressed, even as I curved into his touch. "And no, I don't feel like eating a banana. No thanks to the wheat bread sandwich, either. You're lucky you're not someone's parent. You'd drive your kids nuts shoving health food on them. You'd have the kids who would beg their friends to trade for their fruit rollups."
He pouted, pausing a moment to reorient his attack. "What about the apple?" he suggested persuasively, complete with heart-warming smile. "You like apples. Did you know they're filled with vitamins and enzymes that can prevent heart disease and several cancers? It would be a terrible waste of good nutrients…"
I suppressed a laugh at his hopeful expression. "If you didn't want it to go to waste, you shouldn't have taken it. I can forage for my own food, thank you very much."
"Wasting food is the last thing I'm worried about, Bella. If I were to feel guilt over anything, it would be for the lives I've selfishly taken. Wasting food is a drop in the bucket of crimes I've committed against humanity. I just want to be sure you're going to live a healthy life. I can't lose you."
I elbowed him lightly; though I probably felt the impact more than him, it was the thought that counted. "No brooding at lunch. In high school, lunch is for gossip and eating. And maybe doing homework, but only if you forgot to do next period's assignment."
He patted his trendy Alice-supplied backpack. "Homework done. In two minutes," he bragged. "And eating is out. So I suppose that only leaves gossip. What do you have for me, Swan?"
I tapped my chin, trying to think of something interesting to share, which was harder than it seemed. Edward and I spent most of our time together. He knew everything important going on in my life and was likely to have heard the typical school gossip in the minds of everyone around him.
"Umm… I'm coming up blank. It's hard to supply fresh gossip to a mind-reader. What do you have for me, is a better question?"
He shrugged. "Emmett has made some progress with Rosalie, I think. Not much, but she's no longer throwing things when he's in the same room. Alice is still clammed up. She won't tell me what I'm supposed to do to help Emmett." He grimaced. "I know there's something I'm supposed to do, I just don't know what."
Emmett had opted to pretend to be a college student visiting relatives rather than a high schooler, so I had yet to meet him.
At first, Edward had reluctantly admitted that he wasn't sure he wanted to tell me about Emmett's arrival. He'd recently relapsed to human blood and Edward hadn't wanted me to demand to be introduced. Instead of keeping Emmett a secret and making a unilateral decision, Edward had left the choice to me which I appreciated beyond words.
I was pretty sure I was less stubborn than he thought, anyway. I wasn't about to demand to meet Emmett if it made Edward uncomfortable. As curious as I might be, Edward was more important.
I let myself be contented by the plethora of stories about Rosalie and Emmett's antics that Edward had to share. He'd taken to visiting the Cullens while I slept and always came back with interesting stories. The more Edward talked about Emmett, the more curious I grew. I'd always been a sucker for a good love story. Rosalie and Emmett's seemed like one for the ages.
Regardless of any mistakes he'd made, Emmett seemed genuine and trustworthy; like someone I wouldn't hesitate to befriend. Though that probably wouldn't comfort Edward much. I'd made a routine of making friends with vampires and werewolves. I wouldn't push him out of his comfort zone unnecessarily. He would come around in his own stubborn time as he usually did.
Despite Edward's overabundance of worry, it was clear in the way that he talked about Emmett that he enjoyed spending time with him. Emmett's unfaltering energy and openness were a good counterbalance to Edward's tendency to be overly serious and sometimes brooding.
Edward's growing closeness with all of the Cullens had sparked a subtle but noticeable shift in him. Seeing him surrounded by the Cullens' network of love and support, made it easy to see how alone he'd been the last century. He had lived without a positive family dynamic to ground him. He was finally learning to trust and to let them in.
I had a feeling that was partially why Alice's silence was upsetting him so much. To him, with his past experience with James and Victoria, keeping secrets was equal to distrust and malice.
I cuddled into his side, offering comfort under the pretense of asking him to hold me. I knew it would make him feel better, even if he didn't.
"You're putting too much pressure on yourself. You can't fix Emmett and Rosalie. Only they can do that. Maybe you will end up doing something to help but if Alice won't tell you what it is, that's probably her way of saying that you aren't supposed to know. Let the chips fall as they will."
Edward looked down at me just like he had when I'd forced him to eat a handful of popcorn in Port Angeles. "But if I do that, I won't know."
I burst out laughing. "Isn't that what I just said?" I linked my fingers with his, squeezing warmly to take the sting out of my laughter. "I get you have a thing about control… but this is something you don't need to know. Let Alice play matchmaker. You trust her to take care of her family, don't you?"
I left unvoiced my thoughts about how they were quickly becoming his family too, not wanting to encourage him to meddle.
"I suppose."
He didn't sound sure but I knew that was the best I was going to get out of him so I took it upon myself to lighten the mood.
"Look," I teased, "Alice is confident whatever you're going to do is going to work. Just do whatever you do and let your Love Boat powers wash over Emmett and Rosalie. The mysticism of the Love Boat's powers is half the fun. It just works. There's no need to dissect it."
"I can't believe you compared me to the Love Boat," he grumbled, though I was pretty sure the analogy amused him. Mirthful bright gold gave him away.
"Just… stop worrying, okay? Be happy. I don't like it when you're miserable. It makes me miserable and I don't like being miserable. So quit the grumpy old vampire stuff. Oh, that reminds me!" I ducked out of his arms to reach into my bag, to grab the jar I'd placed in there earlier. "Yesterday, Angela and I were talking about vampires and–"
"Bella!" he hissed, his eyes widening like saucers as if some evil vampire police, patiently waiting for the perfect moment to off me, were hiding under the next lunch table.
I shushed him before his alarm could draw any attention to us, other than the usual longing stares he received on a daily basis. "Relax. Not vampires. Fictional vampires. Dracula. Angel. Lestat. Those vampires. And she brought up this weird myth and – well, maybe I should show you."
He smiled at me indulgently. "What is going on in that crazy head of yours, Bella? I'd give everything I own, just for the privilege of five minutes inside."
"Nothing too crazy," I promised, opening the jar and dumping its contents on the table in front of us. Hundreds of grains of dried rice scattered across the formica.
Edward looked down at them, then back at me. "One thousand, one hundred and seventy four." He paused, incredulous. "You know, Bella, typically human tradition is to throw dried rice at married couples, not your boyfriend."
I grinned excitedly. "So it worked! You had to stop and count every grain before you could do anything else?"
"No," he said flatly, his lips quirking into a mischievous smirk. "I just happen to be aware of that particular myth. I was indulging your absurdity. That myth is built on a flimsy premise as it is. I tallied the rice in approximately .03 seconds, and I'm being generous rounding up. Not much time for you to escape had I actually been required to stop to count them."
"Ugh," I groaned. "You're next to invincible. It isn't fair. Don't you have some deficiency? Like a silver bullet… or ooh, kryptonite?"
He laughed. "Sorry to disappoint. I'm not Superman. My weakness is nothing that impressive." He pulled an old lighter from the front pocket of my bag, spinning the flint to light it. "Just this. There's nothing more terrifying to a vampire than an open flame." He paused a beat. "By the way, why do you have a lighter in your bag? I hope you know that smoking is bad for you."
I rolled my eyes at the reemergence of his overprotective instincts. "Yes, Dad, I'm aware. I hate the smell of smoke, so no black lungs for me. To save you a lecture in the future, I'm also aware of what my brain looks like on drugs."
"Experimentation is a normal part of life for the average teenage human," Alice interjected, seeming to appear out of nowhere, Jasper trailing dutifully at her side. They slid onto the bench across from us. "Experimentation with drugs, alcohol and even one's sexuality are essentially rites of passage in this day and age."
"Hello, Alice," Edward said coldly, eyeing his friend distastefully. "Thank you for your opinion, unnecessary and destructive as it was." He was definitely still upset about her self-enforced silence.
"No prob," she winked. "Bella's going to be one of us in a few years. If you want her to live her human life to the fullest, you shouldn't be so limiting."
"There's no guarantee of that," Edward countered. "It could be ten years before she feels ready to take that step, if ever. She will, under no circumstances, be keeling over from a drug overdose in the meantime."
"It's okay, Edward," I soothed, running my hand up and down his back to calm him. He was sitting even more rigidly than usual, his unease with the conversation apparent. It had to be difficult for him to know how very breakable I was in comparison to him and have those destructive things brought up conversationally. Alice was only exacerbating his worries by encouraging me. "I have absolutely no desire to dabble in mind altering substances of any sort. Though, that whole sexual experimentation thing…"
Edward looked aghast. "Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying?"
"What?" I asked, confused. I didn't understand what the big deal was, I assumed he already knew I was open to trying new things. Yesterday's exploits had proved that, hadn't they?
Alice and Jasper both giggled, exchanging amused glances.
"Your boy isn't quite as puritanical as he'd have you think," Jasper explained. "He's worried – and slightly curious, might I add – that you plan to leave him for a girl."
"What! No!" I exclaimed, my cheeks on fire as the reason for everyone's astonishment dawned. "That's not what I meant! At all! Just that Edward and I – well, we, um, we have some things we could… nevermind."
"Don't worry about it, Bella," Alice said calmly, smoothing over my pathetic attempts at explaining myself. "You should see your face right now. Don't forget to breathe."
"Sorry," Edward repented, allowing me to bury my head in his chest, away from Jasper and Alice's laughing faces. "I wasn't trying to imply anything sordid."
"Sure you weren't," Jasper teased.
Edward continued over Jasper. "But when you said you were open to experimentation you frightened me. I'm a possessive creature. I couldn't handle seeing you with anyone else but me."
"I wouldn't want to be," I promised, my words muffled by his shirt. "You're enough to keep me entertained for several centuries yet."
He sighed into my hair. "Thank god for that."
Alice clapped her hands together excitedly. "Well, now that that's settled, there's something I wanted to talk to the two of you about."
"Rosalie and Emmett?" Edward asked hopefully. For all the time he spent brooding, he was, at times, surprisingly optimistic. Why he was now, I wasn't sure. Maybe his hopeless romantic tendencies and his pathological need to be of help to those he cared about were skewing his view. Even I knew Alice wouldn't give up on her secrecy that easily.
"Not quite. This is just about Emmett. I think it should be safe for Bella to meet him, today. It was safe before, of course. But now, all remaining traces of the humans' blood have burned through his system. He has promised to be on his best behaviour."
"He's driving me up the wall with his nosiness," Jasper added. "Every time you mention Bella, this big cloud of morbid curiosity washes over him. Sorry, bad choice of adjective," he corrected at Edward's frown. "He's fascinated by the fact you've chosen a human as a permanent mate and have no immediate plans to change her."
Alice and Jasper's approval excited me. With their support, maybe Edward would be swayed. I'd been looking forward to meeting the second starring performer in Rosalie's love story; the harlequin girl in me couldn't wait to see their real life happily ever after unfold… with Edward's unknowing help, of course.
To my surprise he nodded readily. "I trust Emmett."
Alice spun around the table, engulfing both Edward and I in a warm hug. "He's going to be so excited, you guys. It's going to mean the world that you trust him with her," she told Edward.
xx
My first impression of Emmett was of his booming laughter.
The deep but infectious sound was audible the moment I passed the threshold into the Cullen home. Edward stood vigilant at my side, ever ready to be my protector, my hand encased in his. Alice and Jasper trailed behind us. Rosalie had conveniently opted to go hunting. The minute she'd parked her shiny red BMW in the Cullen's drive, she was dashing for the treeline behind the Cullen property.
The sound of laughter was immediately supplemented by Emmett himself appearing in the foyer as he slid down the banister like an overgrown child.
The childlike entrance offset his hulking appearance. No one had quite prepared me for just how enormous Emmett was. He easily dwarfed Edward and Jasper, both who were rather tall in their own right. His broad shoulders were nothing to balk at either. His sheer bulk screamed tough and deadly.
Edward had shared enough stories for me to know this was more façade than reality. He might look like a bear, but he was more teddy bear.
"He's huge!" I whispered to Edward quietly.
Emmett grinned a wide, lopsided smile at me, having heard every word. "Common reaction from the ladies, I assure you." He winked.
I bit my lip, embarrassed by my lack of discretion.
Edward rolled his eyes, but stepped forward to introduce me. "Emmett, this is Isabella Swan, the love of my life. Bella, this is Emmett McCarty, bearer of inappropriate comments and general havoc-wreaker."
I stuck out my hand, unabashed, tilting my head up to meet his eyes, gold like the rest of the Cullens. "Hey Emmett."
Emmett accepted my hand readily, shaking gently. "What's up, girl?"
I shrugged. "Not much. Just hanging out with a bunch of vampires for the afternoon. You?"
He chuckled. "You're feisty, I like that. I bet you keep Ed here on his toes. Someone should, fucker thinks he knows everything as it is."
"Emmett," Edward growled. I squeezed his hand, imploring him to relax.
"Relax, dude. Bella's a big girl. She's running with the vampires, now. She's tough."
"I know that," Edward agreed, kissing the top of my head. "That's still no reason for us to act like degenerates around her."
Emmett smirked at me. "Still haven't managed to dislodge that stick from his a–sorry 'his behind,' huh?" he air quoted. "Might take a few decades, but don't worry, you'll get it."
I laughed. "He's not that bad. I think you have a way of bringing out the worst in him. You can't fault him for having scruples."
Emmett scoffed. "Scruples? Sure. Mind reading his opponents' every move in combat is completely ethical."
My stomach tightened at the thought of Emmett and Edward fighting. Emmett's sheer size… he could crush Edward. And unlike me, he actually had the potential to do permanent damage. "You guys get into fights?"
Emmett smiled mischievously. "Not like you're thinking. Eddie might be a pain in the ass, but I wouldn't want to kill him. Just play fighting between friends, you know? Someone talks shit, they better put up. We're vampires, that's how we roll."
Edward raised a challenging eyebrow at Emmett. "Please don't worry, Bella. He's making it sound worse than it is. He couldn't kill me if he tried. He's been on his back more than the rest of us combined. He lumbers around unable to catch anyone. If you're going to worry, Jasper's a bigger threat." He paused, as if reconsidering. "Actually, forget I said that. Don't worry at all."
Emmett chortled, fanning the fire. "Yeah, did you know Jasper's a vampire army vet? He's got the scars to prove it." He pointed at his arms. Edward sighed.
I glanced at Jasper, wondering what Emmett was talking about. On the rare occasions he'd worn T-shirts, he had always seemed unscathed to me. Jasper pulled up his shirt sleeves, revealing spidery, barely noticeable white markings. They looked like stretch marks more than vicious bites.
"Just a relic or two," he commented modestly. "All of it is firmly in the past. Though it continues to give me certain strategic advantages in… friendly squabbles, shall we say."
I rounded on Edward. "After all the hassle you give me about living well and staying healthy, you turn around and brawl with your friends? Are you nuts? You could get hurt!"
He hugged me tightly. To my greater irritation, his touch soothed my anger. "It's nothing detrimental to my health, Bella, I promise you. The opposite, in fact. I wouldn't lie to you about something so important. We heal quickly, you know that. As vampires, it's prudent that we're proficient in battle. Now that I'm going to announce I'm leaving James and Victoria permanently within a few days' time, it's especially critical that I be prepared to defend myself, if necessary."
"I don't understand," I whispered, slightly hurt that he felt he couldn't confide in me. Didn't he know we were in this together now? That wouldn't work if he shut me out. "How come you didn't tell me that you were worried about James and Victoria?"
"I didn't want to worry you needlessly. There's nothing you could do to change the circumstances. James, Victoria and I agreed we'd reconvene in two weeks. My time is almost up. I've already given you enough information to process because of what I am. I thought I could handle this situation on my own."
"So… this is why you've been disappearing nightly," I concluded, unsure how I felt about his admission. On one hand, I knew he meant no harm and appreciated that he felt he was protecting me. On another, I wanted him trust me, to share his life with me and rely on me to provide comfort and support. "To spend time honing your defenses with Emmett and Jasper."
He nodded, a slight smile appearing. "And Carmen, Alice and Esme. Occasionally even Rosalie, when she's decided Emmett needs to be put in his place. It's not been all clandestine battle, though. I do enjoy spending time with them. I'm aware I've not been very forthcoming, but it wasn't intended maliciously." He touched my cheek. "I know you could have handled the news. I just wish to protect you, if it's at all within my power to do so."
"Okay," I said quietly, understanding his position, even if I didn't agree with it completely. "But no more secrets. I want to watch."
Emmett grinned salaciously. "Now this should be interesting."