…Out for a Pound

A/N: WOW! Is all I have to say at the amazing feedback from you guys. I know I said I was undecided about continuing, but the more I read your reviews, the more I realized I couldn't leave it hanging, because, you were right. This NEEDED a continuation. I've been known to leave one-shots lie and use cliffhangers, and I realized my problem with the original "Out for a Pound" wasn't that it wasn't (to blow my own horn) very well written or in character, it was that it was unfinished. To use my prior history in other fandoms on message boards: I'm a drama queen and the queen of evil and the evil side wanted to leave it alone, but the drama side was salivating to continue. So, I sat down and got to plotting and thinking about this and where it could go. When I first started, I wasn't even sure where to go and chapter two was the result. This was originally going to be written in first person, but third just felt better, cleaner, as I was writing along. Anyway, there will be a total of four chapters if this all works out. I thought about doing them as individual one-shots, but they deserve to be one cohesive fiction since they more than relate. So all of you people continuing to read this, thank all those people who reviewed begging for more because it was those reviews that really made me sit down, re-read chapter one and start to plot this through. I hope I did your expectations justice. This chapter only had one read-through performed by my bestie who "shares my brain" so any mistakes are my doing, not hers. And, as always, I own nothing (except my cat) sadly.

Chapter 2

So, that was it. Shawn Spencer thought as the door clicked closed behind him. Feeling unstable, he leaned back against the door, trying to remember how to breathe and to keep himself from throwing up all over Juliet's stairs. His stomach felt like it was twisted into several complicated knots, and it still kept twisting. His chest was tight and his heart was hammering so hard, he might be having a mild heart attack.

Taking a deep breath, Shawn shoved away from the door and raced down the steps and towards his Norton. As he swung one leg over the bike, he couldn't help but glance back at the apartment door he had just abandoned.

The naïve part of him expected Juliet to race out of the apartment, yelling for him not to go, to come back and they could talk some more. She'd ask questions, he'd answer, and they'd eventually kiss and make up and everything would go back to how it was; perfect.

Grow up, a voice scoffed in the back of his mind, sounding suspiciously like his father. This is real life, Kid. Not some 80s movie.

Scowling, Shawn shoved the helmet on his head, not bothering to secure it properly, and shoved the key into the ignition. As the motorcycle came to life, Shawn revved the engine a couple times before taking off. He didn't even know where he was going, he just knew he had to get away.

Coward. The voice taunted him again.

She kicked me out, what choice did I have?

Shoving all the voices to the back of his mind, Shawn gave the bike a bit more gas, pushing the speed limits but at the moment, he didn't care. He needed to clear his mind, to forget for a moment what just transpired at Juliet's. He needed this sickening feeling to go away so he could analyze what just happened. His "gift" didn't work properly when he was worked up; he needed to find a way to calm down so he could rewind the last hour of his life and figure out what the hell to do next.

His first instinct was to run to his father's house, but Shawn quickly stomped that instinct away, knowing there was no way he could deal with his father right now. It would only end badly, for both of them, and he wasn't that desperate (yet). And he wasn't ready to hash this out with Gus yet, either, knowing he was breaking his promise to talk to Gus ASAP, Shawn winced and changed course towards the Psych office.

Noting the absence of the Blueberry, Shawn parked his bike, ditched the helmet and headed down towards the pier.

Still running away, Shawn? The voice taunted him again.

Gritting his teeth and shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, Shawn kept walking, his eyes focused on the water. He really needed to evaluate his sanity later. Sighing, Shawn sat down at an empty bench. A quick glance around the area showed nothing of interest going on. Shaking his head to clear it, Shawn propped his elbows on his thighs and rest his head in his hands. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes, rewinding his brain to the final moments in Juliet's apartment.

That was it. He had done it. Shawn let out a long breath he didn't realize he was even holding and turned his nervous gaze to Juliet. Some point during his explanations, he had started to pace. He wasn't even sure when it started, but he spun around to look at Juliet, to gauge her reaction, but he couldn't see her face from this angle. Panic started to set in. During the whole explanation, Juliet hadn't said a word. She hadn't so much as twitched as far as he knew.

"Jules?"

He winced as his voice came out a couple octaves higher than normal.

Silence stretched between them. Shawn could feel his blood running cold.

Nearly tripping over his feet, he rushed to Juliet, dropping hard onto his knees (it was going to hurt later) and tried to catch her gaze, but was unable to.

"Jules, Juliet, I…Please, just say something, anything. You're kind of freaking me out here." Shawn stated, biting back the hysterical laugh that threatened to release.

"Get out." She stated, her voice barely above a whisper, her tone flat and matter-of-fact. There was no malice to it, no anger, no anything. It was like she was saying the sky was blue or David Bowie wore his pants too tight in the Labyrinth.

"What?"

The word came out before he could stop himself. He had heard her perfectly clear. He knew what she said. His mouth wasn't connected to his brain and he couldn't stop himself. His brain screamed at him to say something, anything to make this better, but he was frozen at those two words.

"I said, get. Out." She repeated, her tone the same as before. She raised her head and looked into his eyes, and he knew he would never forget the look in her eyes. He could deal with anger and disappointment. Those two expressions, he had more than enough experience at seeing, but this…her eyes were red, blood shot. She looked like she might be about to cry, but there were no tears filling her eyes. There was no emotion there. Juliet always had the shiny-est look to her eyes. They lit up, even when she was upset or angry. It was cliché, but she had diamonds in her eyes and that was part of what he loved so much about her. But in that moment, the look was gone. There was no passion, no emotion, nothing. Her spark was gone.

He had killed her spark.

It was then that he lost the ability to breathe, that his stomach started to twist and twist. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to throw himself at her feet and beg. He forgot how to breathe. He wanted to say something witty to make that spark come back to her eyes. He couldn't move. He would have done anything in that moment to take it all back. He couldn't look away. He would have given in and told his dad that every argument they ever had that Henry Spencer had been right. He couldn't think. He would have become a cop; he would have done anything it meant the light was back in Juliet's eyes.

"Jules, I-"

"Don't. Just…go, Shawn. Just go."

He didn't even remember getting up off the floor. He felt so unsteady that he wasn't even sure how his feet managed to carry him across the room. He felt like someone had torn out his soul and ripped it to shreds. That walk from Juliet's couch to her door was the longest walk he'd ever made in his life. He would take getting shot and running through the woods for his life over this.

"Shawn, I-"

Hope rushed through him as his hand touched the door knob, but he didn't turn around. He didn't dare.

"I just…I need to think, ok?"

The hope died with that statement. Her words sounded good, but the delivery was off. It still sounded lifeless. He couldn't stop the thought that crossed his mind. It's over.

"You know where to find me," Shawn managed to choke out. Before anything else could be said, or done, he opened the door and closed it behind him.

Before Shawn could rewind the memory, to find something he might have missed in Juliet's reactions, bile rose in his throat. Wincing, Shawn took a deep, shaky breath and waited the feeling out. Sitting up, Shawn looked up at the sky and let out a frustrated sigh. This was useless. He wasn't going to see anything else. He had been too wrapped up in his own feelings at the time to keep his eyes stayed on her the whole time.

Shawn shook his head, groaning in frustration at his inability to analyze. He was too close to this, he knew. Henry would tell him to man up, push the emotions aside, and deal with this like a man, but damn it, this was Jules! And who was his father to give him relationship advice anyway? Everyone knew how his ended.

Shawn winced at the thought, knowing it wasn't fair, but he couldn't help it. He was drowning and he was without a life preserve. He had no idea how to get himself out of this one. Talking wasn't going to help him. Running wasn't going to make it go away, but this hanging…this out of control feeling was not natural to him. He honestly had no idea what was going to happen and the thought scared him.

"Shawn?"

Shawn snapped his head around to see his best friend rushing towards him, looking annoyed and relieved. Shawn frowned at the look, but remained silent until Gus sat down on the bench next to him.

"You didn't call me," Gust stated matter-of-factly. He didn't sound angry, annoyed, disappointed or anything. Shawn was growing to hate that tone more and more by the minute.

"I know."

"Did you tell her?" Gus asked, his tone hesitant.

"Yeah," Shawn said with a sigh, leaning tipping his head back and looking up at the sky. He was surprised to see the stars were beginning to make an appearance. He honestly had no idea how long he had been sitting here on this bench. The thought was a bit disturbing.

There was a moment of silence between the two friends as that one word sank in. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but not exactly easy either. It was heavy with the weight of the confession but neither felt the need to break it. That was the best part of being friends for nearly thirty years. Sometimes, words weren't needed. Sometimes, it was enough to just…be.

"I was going to call you," Shawn stated after a long moment, tilting his head back down and looking over at Gus. "I just…I had to think."

"I'm not mad," Gus stated and Shawn nodded his understanding. "I couldn't sit at home any longer…I was just…wondering. And I came here," Gus shrugged. "I honestly didn't expect to find you here. If anything, I was prepared to find a postcard in the mail by the end of the week."

"I'm not going anywhere, Gus."

"But you thought about it?"

"All of a second," Shawn admitted with a sigh. "I can't help it. Its instinct to run, but it's not going to help, not this time. Running will, at worst, make me a felon and, at best, eventually forget about Juliet, and I don't want either of those things."

"So she didn't take it well?"

"She didn't say much more than 'get out' and 'I need time'," Shawn stated, not even bothering to try and sound chipper about it; there wasn't a point anyway. Gus would see right through any false cheeriness.

Gus winced in response.

"My thoughts exactly," Shawn sighed.

"So, I guess the question is: what are you going to do now?"

"The zillion dollar question," Shawn muttered.

"You don't have a plan?"

"Nope," Shawn stated, popping the p.

"You always got a plan," Gus stated, unconvinced.

"Not this time, Buddy," Shawn stated, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I just…I can't seem to think straight. Every time I think about Juliet, I want to throw up, which is not a very endearing thought, come to think of it, but I just…I can't think about losing her. That's just…I can't even fathom it, Gus." Shawn laughed, his tone bitter. "Two months ago, I was scared out of my mind when Jules told me about the drunk dial move in and now I can't even remember why the thought scared me so much."

"You're in love with her," Gus stated simply.

"I know that," Shawn snapped.

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

"OK, Dad," Shawn snapped, getting annoyed at his best friend. "What can I do? Juliet kicked me out of her apartment, probably call blocked me, possibly has Lassie hired as an assassin, or has already alerted the rest of the department about you-know-what, and I've been over this a thousand times in my head and am coming up blank. So, Gus, why don't you tell me what the hell you want me to do?"

Shawn leaned forwards and put his head in his hands and Gus looked out into the ocean. Silence fell between the friends as they weighed the options.

"We're screwed." Gus stated, trying to sound light-hearted but failing.

"Pretty much." Shawn muttered.

"Want to hurry up and get a smoothie before they close for the night?"

"As much as I want to believe in the amazing power of a pineapple smoothie, I don't fancy the idea of it tasting so good a second time."

Gus nodded his acknowledgement and silence fell between the two friends, both alone in their thoughts.

"And now we wait," Gus muttered, his voice barely audible over the roar of the surf.

TBC in Chapter Three - Juliet's thoughts as she processes all that Shawn has told her. Appearances will be made by Lassiter, Henry, Chief Vick and probably Buzz. I'm still undecided about Gus' role (or lack of) in the next one. Reviews do help feed my muse and provide tons of motivation to write faster ;)