Author's Rant: Yah! You guys are so awesome.

Repetitive Ass

"Excuse me?"

Oh three shades of shit. Please tell me that wasn't said out loud. I did not just say that out loud. How the hell do I play off something that—that spazzed? Of all the cracked pot stuff to say, it had to be that? . . . Seriously though if you'd seen this guy he'd easily make a wired hanger like me say something just that stupid.

I mean look at 'em? Hell made me feel like an ugly misfit. I mean I know I'm fine; drop dead gorgeous if you wanna be technical. But I digress not even a hot rod like me could compete with something this extreme. It was like comparing a upgraded Bentley to a Corvette; hardly a comparison. What I assumed I saw that time last week doesn't even do my neighbor justice.

Check it. He was the picture perfect role of someone I've seen in those fashion magazines or in the front of those romance novels my mama likes to read. The summer breeze was settling just right this morning and it only added a sensual effect to his already exotic features. Good depictions eh?

By the way . . .

Please take note that the only reason I'm describing what I see is out of pure and honest fascination. I hereby state that by no means does it define my sexually from being anything besides a veggie eater. Thick meat? Nah, doesn't do squat for me unless its round, bounces, and comes in twos . . .wait. That doesn't include balls alright? So let's begin the marvelous details.

A skin tight under armor shirt as white as his skin tone was plastered like a wet glove over his lean chest; really chiseled too. I could count, one, two, three, four—damn eight. Eight bulging abdominals. They looked hard enough to crack a brick on. Shit I can barely hold my six that tight and defined. Then his pecs were practically weeping in that spandex to were the nipples were winking through. Sweat seemed to make it a luxury to cling to his body, creating this bubbly pattern up, over and around his jointed sections; that's the neck, armpits and creased folds of muscles.

Ah damn and don't even get me started on that hair. If I wasn't so stunned, I would've done something evil. I admit to being jealous when having to see such silvery satin hair pulled at the back of his neck in a ponytail, not a drop of sweat making it tangled or knotted. Whenever I exercised my hair always got clotted after a rigorous about with the punching bag.

But here's the icing on the cake that'll really get 'cha.

That face of his was something else. That alone let me know he wasn't from my neck of the woods. Very few demons were born around here with markings that pronounced besides those that possessed a mixed heritage—like yours truly—or be of direct descent from purity. The maroon cheek stripes, indigo crescent moon and dark red eyelids, told me stories of being born out of country or at least coastal region. But his eyes were what threw me a little bit. They came off as being honey gold or saffron lemon. No, No, some type of bright bronze?

Or perhaps—

"Can I help you?"

My ears twitched from the sultry voice. It was cultured. Extremely cultured; like that smooth vanilla yogurt I like to eat with strawberries . . . Oops I almost forgot. "Uh, I-I uhh," That's all I could manage. That's just pitiful. Why can't I say anything? I'm literally standing here flapping my trap like an idiot. I can't get a single word out.

"Listen, if you're selling bibles I've already bought a couple last week. I can easily direct you to another house that can use a little more Jesus then me." The man I falsely referred to as God, completely by accident of course, wiped off his face with a hand towel and made to step back in his house.

Seeing him about to leave seemed to trigger my vocal cords back in gear but sadly all I could respond with was a squeaked, "Pie." Then came the cued awkwardness and my prayer that God would somehow strike me with lightning. I felt so retarded. Here I was a growing man, holding out a pie like a depraved child. . . I held the lemon pie up, eyes wide and innocent to throw off my ignorance lest this guy decides to go get his shot gun and blow me a new one.

My neighbor swiped his towel over the few dribbles of sweat sliding down his brow before flipping the entirety over his shoulder and stepping up to look at the pie then giving me an odd glance.

I frowned. "What?" Slowly gaining my original poise. "You want it or what?"

The man shifted his weight from one foot to the other, folding both arms. "What's wrong with it?"

"Come again?"

This time he gave me this irritated look like I was wasting his time and sighed. Now particular gesture annoyed me for some reason. "Is there a reason you're giving me this?" He questioned eyes on my pie and then my face.

My eyes rolled, as I felt the boiling attitude rearing up. "No, it's supposed to welcome you to the neighborhood. Look either eat it or throw it away, I don't care." I pushed the pie out further. "Just take it." Did I happen to mention this dude was like a freaking amazon? Yes I know the title is reserved for chicks but damn he was a sky scraper.

Me being about 6'2 myself, not including my ears, I'm used to either being at eye level or taller than most people. Koga's always been the only one to outdo me in that department and that's only by an inch or two. However Mr. Tall, Silver, and Beauty Markings, was towering over me by at least five or six inches easy. My head was craned just to meet his gaze.

"What's the flavor?"

"Lemon Meringue," Was my snippy answer. That look he kept giving me was making me irritated. I really didn't feel like standing here all day and was tempted to just toss it on the ground and let it fertilize his grass.

And I would've if he hadn't finally decided to take the gift with a somewhat curious way of holding my eyes captive. I was never the type to not meet another man's stare head on because it meant backing down. And I never backed down from anyone.

So there we stood, toe to toe. My eyes looking up at his, him looking down at me. He lifted a manicured brow, I lifted my thicker one. It became a ten second stare down before he nodded and mumbled a soft pair of words that echoed pretty nicely in my ears.

"Thank you," Those two simple ringers sounded so efficient and clear—like a musical ring tone humming melodically. Yes it sounded sexy. Again I deny any sexual attractions towards my own gender. It's just an honest opinion and close inspection of the competition.

"I must say I'm surprised to have gotten a gift for simply moving into a neighborhood. A very odd custom your town has here." Ah so he was foreign, or at least not from around these parts.

"Yeah well," I shrugged it off, feeling a bit better that he was taking it pretty well. "It's something my mama did in my hometown. S'pposed to break the ice or somethin'." Rocking back and forth on my heels as I tended to do when feeling awkward; I picked out a nicely trimmed bush by his door, uncaringly noticing its neatly buzzed off edges. How long had that square of leaves been there?

The pie was switched to the opposite arm and the silver demon held out his right hand, "Sesshomaru."

I shifted hands, shoved deep in my pockets as I exchanged a fixed gaze at the outstretched hand and its owner. My attitude was still there but good ole Mr. Mixon was watching so I acted accordingly by taking the hand. "Inuyasha."

The one now named Sesshomaru instead of God, had a strong but steady grip. It wasn't too rough but a decent hold that gave two firm handshakes before retracting back.

"May I ask you something?" Sesshomaru asked after a few passing moments.

"Shoot."

"Are you the same fellow who keeps peeking through his curtains over there?" His head nodded towards my house.

"No," I lied fast and smooth. "I have a couple of friends who like to stare at people because they don't have a life."

"I see."

Don't give me that look. Please; as if I'm going to tell this guy I'm always spying. Me and my nosiness is my business.

Sesshomaru shrugged it off and griped his doorknob, "If there's nothing else, I have business to address. But I appreciate the kindness."

Sesshomaru bowed respectfully and for some reason I felt inclined to bow too, "Sure no problem." That was my cue to go. Taking a step off the front step, I nodded my head and turned to head home.

Well that bit of ramble wasn't as stomach churning as I thought it'd be. Honestly it went kind of decent. Not too riddled in my mother's idea of instant friendship but tolerable none the less. I was just glad to get that bit over and done with. Now mama could sleep easy and I could move on with more important issues, such as getting my school stuff from the store today and seeing if Koga was still up for hanging out sometime this afternoon.

Yeah, I could see a couple rounds of Diner Dash after dealing with this.

I hadn't gotten too far down the driveway when the prickles of hair on my neck started to stand on end. That is when I suddenly bit my bottom lip, and stopped. It could've been basic instinct or something but I suddenly felt the urge to turn around . . .

It was a mistake to turn around when I did. My so called Godly neighbor was staring at me strangely. My ears swiveled his way, snapping his disturbing gaze from something I didn't recognize to mild confusion as if just realizing the distant space between me and his door way had gotten there. In my pockets, my claws did this clicking clank against the other as I weighed the options of calling him out of his freaky glaring or asking if he had a problem, but I kept my lips thinned.

And just as it'd happened, it vanished just as fast. Sesshomaru flipped his eyes to mines and slowly stepped back inside his house, closing the door shut. I stood there for whatever reason and assumed it was to hear his door lock because that was when I left to go about my own business muttering, "Freaky ass," under my breathe.

Shit—I turned around to make sure he didn't hear that. It was a pussy move but hell if you'd gotten as close as I did you wouldn't spare a negative word either. Dude was thick as alabaster.

Wait, I hope he didn't hear me. I glanced over my shoulder and sure enough, he wasn't there. Good.

"You need to stop lying so much. I checked the weather channel last night and Al ain't say shit about rain."

Of all the folks I know to call, I picked Koga. I could've easily picked Miroku or a couple of other people I knew around the neighborhood to go shopping with and I choose his whiny ass. Guess it was just something about his company that ruled out everybody else's more sustaining auras. Or I could just be a glutton for punishment and enjoy getting my ears jacked up with his bitching.

"Yo, we headin' to the arcade or what?" Koga asked for the umpteen time in the same hour.

"You have all your stuff for school?"

"Nah."

"Then shut up and shop," This grumbled as I shoved in a box of black pens and sheets of paper. "Learn to get your priorities straight before thinkin' about games."

Koga snorted rudely, tossing in a box of cereal he planned to eat at my house. "I don't remember my head coming out of your vagina."

"Nah, because I would've shoved your stupid ass back in there."

Guess you're wondering what's up since there was no kind of warning since the Sesshomaru event.

Well about a quarter to two, I about had it with sitting in the house bored. I wasn't up for heading to the gym today and I didn't have the energy to play a little ball at the city park. So the final profitable conclusion ended up being me going to the store down the road and having Koga tag along since I can't stand going in public by myself.

It wasn't because of low self-esteem or paranoia because please believe I could easily whoop somebody's ass without a second thought. It was just simple preference to want someone around.

Today was the only day of this week that our school store was having a sale on most of the supplies and I wanted to catch some of the stuff I knew would be essential. Now don't think I'm cheap for wanting to do this. Yes my father gave me the money but I want to spend that on more enriching necessities if you get what I'm sayin'.

My books, pencils, rulers, compass, pens, notebooks and everything involving higher education didn't require higher pay. If I can get it at half off why the hell should I reap the benefits too?

"Yash'?"

"Yo?"

Koga stopped, reaching to pull a large sized text from the stacks. "You need this one for Botany right?"

Pulling out my major's requirement list, I looked over the check mark items and quickly compared the edition and title before shaking my head. "Nah, I need the thirty fifth edition. I won't need that one until next year."

"Oh," Koga put it back and pulled out another one, red colored with gold embroidered lettering. "I think I'm supposed to have this one for CJ. Something about reading chapters one thru five on sociological humanity."

"Have you started reading it yet?"

"Nope."

"Then you might wanna get on that," I said absentmindedly reading over each book side for another one of my needed text books. I needed the one on Psychological Warfare and Tangency. Has anyone ever noticed that your professors always want you to spend your cash on pointless junk? Like I'm supposed to give a damn about why fools wanna start up senseless wars and the death of innocent people.

I was getting aggravated. All of these words were starting to merge into a vomited mixture. . . Fuck it. I'm done. "Let's go." I snapped for no reason. All this intelligence was getting on my last nerves. I hated shopping for my school stuff. It was better when mama had to do this for me. Growing up sucks.

What I did grab without getting a headache, was pushed in my buggy and we headed off down towards the other half of the school shop, where the small library section was secluded to checking out minor reading books.

"Ssss oh my damn . . .baby, baby, baby." Koga whistled like the wolfish villain he was as he saw a pretty hot tigress helping out another student with something or another.

Don't be alarmed guys. That's one of Koga's random phrases when coming across a nice slab of ass or tits. He has three different shock catchers and this one was number two; that meant the babe had a nice ass and lacking tat tats. Don't worry; most likely we'll hear those other two later. I wasn't dressed in my best to be in player mode, so l let Koga wearing his jeans and sleeveless blue polo, have his fun with whatever caught his eye.

But against my better judgment something nice caught my eye straight ahead anyway. "Mmm Mmm Mmm damn." Nicely ripe and supple, a sweet rounded portion of juicy goodness was teetered over pulling a book out, one at a time and giving a peek of what lied underneath that silky length of shiny hair. The hair opened for me like a shower curtain to expose my favorite meal to eat.

Rump Roast.

Man I don't know what it is about a woman who keeps her hair nice and long with had ass like that. Hm, made me want to do it right then and there.

It was time to be smooth, seductive and divine. Take lessons kids. I'm about to give a class on how to get a girl's number under ten seconds. Don't think I can do it? Ok watch me. Let me push this little buggy to the side so you all can watch me in action.

My red shirt was straightened; I ran a hand through my bushy banes, the tips of my ears drooped just a ting to give that adorable puppy look and I licked the delicious sin off my bottom lip as I walked over, radiating nothing but charm and sex appeal. For anyone concerned, no I don't do that stupid saggy pants crap or walk with a limp. That's just ignorant.

I got nothing but charisma and endless style. Watch me work.

Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I happily walked up sporting a sweet gentlemanly smile and rolling move, I call Demon Sweetness. That's when I chew my bottom lip between my fangs and yeah it'd get you too. I think my stride ended within several inches of brushing my dick against that luscious behind, which I could not deny was of squeezable capabilities. Round and firmly shaped. Not too chucky or floppy with those nasty cottage cheese dents all over or nothing. These jet black jeans were supporting one of God's greatest creations.

I gave my bottom lip a final sensual lap, pricked one of my fangs for that rugged effect and released my Inuyasha spell, "Baby if I had a dollar for every ass that perfect, I'd be a very poor man. So hows about making me feel richer by giving me your number?"

There was no answer. She stayed bent over, giving every bystander passing a gracious view of those pale toned lumps. Perhaps she didn't hear me. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Still nothing. This girl must be a lesbian. I just used one of the few best lines in the book of Inu seduction. She should've been begging to get a taste of this. Hold up a sec; this one always gets the gold. "Listen baby, I need you to do me a favor," I began, checking my nails playfully bored. "Hurry up and write your number before I don't want it anymore." And there it was. You better believe it worked every single time I had to go past a second come on.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Silence . . . What the hell? I couldn't believe this. What the hell does she think I'm doing here? Talking to myself? "Hello I know you hear me?" Keh, she ain't all that fine anyway.

Oh she heard me that time because her back did that stiffen thing. That usually indicated an attitude about to spout off and trust, I was ready to lie on the puppy ears to deter all of that bullshit.

". . . I don't think I'm your type." Said my err, deep voiced beauty?

What in the hell was I dealing with here? My deep voiced baby couldn't be a—

Oh.

My.

God.

It was as my suddenly not so fine hottie became a terrifying revelation. The 5' whatever frame I thought she had grew into seven feet of tall lithe muscles. The plumped, heart shaped ass grew into something more dented on the sides, like the step master's been pumped into creating a monster. Those delicate wires of silver hair was about to turn my way; I saw a hazel trimmed eye—

And I was already running out the door before I could see a stripe.

TBC: -Giggles- Inuyasha you chicken. ^_^