Author's Rant: ~giggles~ I swear you guys are a trip lol. Here's another crazy chapter for you all.

The Fool

To all those who accuse me of being some kind of scaredy cat or whiny bitch? You all can suck it, duck it and fuck it. I don't give a flipping hot damn what anyone says, I ran out that door like the man I was because I know the consequences of accidentally mistaking another man for a woman. Believe me I witnessed something that horrid . . . Miroku did not come out looking like the handsome devil he claims to be. Dude better be glad those punches didn't take out his teeth; he'd be smiling dirty.

I'd prefer to keep all of my fangs intact thank you. Now then I'm sure you're all wondering what went down ever since my little escape from getting my ass kicked right? Ha, don't sit there thinking I ran the entire time. Oh no. I just happened to sprint around the block and when I reached the corner store I was strolling down the sidewalk smooth as silk and carefree. I probably put on the act a little too strongly since I kind of scared this old lady when I asked her how she was doing and if she wanted me to walk her across the street.

She screamed loud as hell that I was trying to rape her, take her groceries and her virginity.

. . . That's why I ended up making it home in record time before the cops got the wrong idea.

So now here I currently was, sitting on the couch pissed for a multitude of reasons but all of them revolving around a certain long haired bastard across the street. I admit to feeling a little shamed for what I did but damn who wouldn't? If you'd done the same thing your ears would be saggin' against your head too. I couldn't find the balls to call Koga and see if he made it home ok.

I know the fool saw what happened and I really didn't feel like having to listen to his whimpering or him possibly making fun of the situation. By the way, I seriously don't see what's so humorous about it. I think it's' God's twisted joke since I haven't been to church in a while.

I mean to but an ass that damn perfect on a man? A muscular man at that? That's just plain cruel.

All the things I could ever want in the most luscious ass—all my dreams of squeezing some juicy lumps that fitted like a puzzle in my hands, "Ugh fuck!" I wanted to cry. I wanted to slap the shit out of Sessho—Sessmo—Sessmu—whatever the fuck his name was. God why, why, why? You know I've been praying that kind of ass since I was fourteen and here you put it on a freakin' guy? For real?

I'm in love, sweet love
Hear me calling out your name, I feel no shame
I'm in love, sweet love
Don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way

Oh, your heart has called me closer to you
I will be all that you need
Just trust in what we're feeling
Never leave 'cause baby, I believe

I sighed, pulling my cell out of my pocket, seeing the name of one particular girl I hadn't spoken to in a while. Now look don't get it all confused or twisted alright? It's over between me and her. It's been over for about a year since she discovered pussy was better than my dick. But—I smiled warmly—even if she betrayed me with her trifling behind, I'd always hold a soft spot for my no ass having, flat chested ex, Kagome.

Sliding the answer key I plopped the receiver to my ear and answered, "Yellow, what's happenin' baby?"

I heard some shuffling in the background before some giggling came through, "Yash', hey umm," she giggled some more struggling to get her words out. "H-how are you?"

Her laugh was always contagious, so my laughs joined in with hers, "I'm good but I'd be even better if you shared the joke."

Kagome coughed and hushed who I'm guessing is her lover before giving me her full attention. "Inuyasha umm, did anything interesting happen today?"

"Interesting? Yeah you calling me out of the blue," I laughed.

"Is that it? Nothing else interesting happened today? Nothing . . . interesting?" She giggled hysterically after that and I was starting to feel a little off.

"No, nothing happened."

Kagome suddenly burst into laughter and a bunch of shuffling shifted around in my ear to the point of where I thought she hung up, until a deep voice startled me. "Yo, you really need to stop lying!"

"What the fuck?" I pulled my phone back being sure that the caller was Kagome's phone but that voice had me thinking otherwise. "Koga is that you?"

"Hell yeah it's me." Koga exploded in a round of laughs. "I can't believe this shit. Dude was about to hump a fuckin' man. Oh my God! My-my stomach hurts. I'm 'bout to die!"

"Fuck you a'ight? I thought he was a woman—" That was just a pitiful excuse and an added fuel to the fire that only resulted in making Koga laugh harder and had Kagome choking. "Yeah, yeah, yeah laugh it up ya bunch of jackasses!"

"Oh, oh man I-I can't I can't," Koga was rolling out of control. He couldn't get a single word pass his ugly ass laugh. "Yash' Yash', was he any good?"

"Fuck ya'll!" I hung up and slammed the phone flat on my counter pissed as all get out. Koga was such a fucking snitch. Stupid ass traitor. Who the hell went around gossiping like a cackling hen? I should've known he couldn't hold enough water to piss in a bucket.

I was pouting. I didn't care. I was sitting here pouting like a child. But I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. Fuck it. I'm getting out of this house. If I stay here a minute longer, I'll swear I'm still hearing that mangy wolf's voice in my head and that's the last thing I needed right now. Especially after what I just been through.

My mind was loaded after seeing that round, firm set of crystal globes molded tight and subtle in a pair of jeans—"Holy shit," Yeah I definitely needed to get out.

Now this was what I was talking about here. Oh yeah this was my leisure time. Half naked, sweating profusely from the taut strings of my arms, legs, and my chest.

"Oh my gosh . . . yes."

Yes that's it baby. Moan for it. You know you want my body.

It should be a crime to be this fine. Just look at the sweat beading around my cream tanned body. The way my hair clotted and clumped from the sweet salts soaking to the roots. And oh how my eyes shined when I was hitting that spot just right. Damn like a dream. That burn was pulsing through my body like pressured throb; just pumping and flowing through every fiber.

This is what I did to release my stress and damn it worked like a charm every time. Only this time, I had more than one participate to fire up my confidence.

The gentle swoos of pigeon coos purring like an engine buzzed from behind and the sides. Tender moans licked over thick, juicy lips as slight gasps erupted from the way my back flexed and arched with every stretch. And the way my ass dented with every groin thrust? Yes they were loving it all.

"What number is he on?" I heard one of the sweet thangs whisper.

"I don't know. I lost count at three hundred and nine." Her friend giggled, fanning herself. "But god he's fine."

Damn straight. I know I was. But just hearing it had my arms bending ten times faster than before. Building murmurs gathered all around me. I was loving the crowd of fans, mostly flaking with giggling babes and humiliated men, wishing they could hold their own against me. But when it came to me doing my exercises, I was a renowned pro. No one could ever match up to my pace.

Since arriving about two hours ago, I've easily accomplished three sets of a hundred sit ups, two sets of fifty pull ups, and five hundred flutter kicks, ran an easy ten miles on the treadmill without breaking a sweat and finally came around to do my signature push-ups. Today's record? I was planning on breaking my recent record of four hundred and fifty. I'm aiming for the gold this day. Five hundred would be the breaking point but my arms were burning for that win.

"Damn, four hundred and thirty eight and still going," One of the taller males muttered to no one in particular. "What the hell is he on?"

"Steroids," Answered another jealous man. "Ain't no way he's able to go this long with something in 'em."

Haters. Nothing but jealousy and I was eating that shit up like the hot dog I was.

"How are you doing Inuyasha? Do you want to use my towel?" Asked one of the fan girls getting a gander at my tight ass.

"Nah, baby but I appreciate you being sweet," I sent her wink that had her giggling like a school girl. She gave a smug expression of superiority to the surrounding ladies and a couple of them muttered words of attitude. And I went back to doing my sets, listening to those sighing moans and sweet hums of jealousy. Can't be helped ladies. I'm possibly the finest thing in the gym today; but that's whenever I walk anywhere.

Its' the puppy ears. No one can resist their adorable allure.

I'm closing in on finishing my four hundreds and I was still going. After I reached my five I was going to call it day. I think I've insulted most of the men here enough already.

Jumping up from the floor mat, my hair flipped back behind me as I wiped off my face with the red towel I brought along, but made sure it didn't hide a single thing from view. Sweat was glistening off my biceps, triceps, pecs—that seemed to be the main point of eye contact—and whatever else had my delicious flesh. It should be a crying shame. My body was just a picture perfect drawing. Every muscle was defined and neatly lined.

"Aw Inuyasha don't go," One of the cuties begged. She was pretty sweet looking girl too. I loved the ones with dark tanned skin and squishy asses, not to mention the pretty face to boot. I just might have a piece of this one. She had a chest that'd I was positive had chocolate nipples waiting to suckle. "Could you please do another set?" She fluttered her eyelashes and eased up to place a hand on my arm.

I know she was just coping a feel, so why not oblige her with a flex? I pumped my arm, bouncing the muscle under her fingers and watched her eyes twinkle with sex appeal. "Sorry babe gotta head out. I got business to handle. You understand right?" The chorus of pleads and whimpering groans was a weakness. I was tempted to stay, I really was but I didn't feel like it. "Come on ladies relax. I'll be back in a couple of days. Hopefully I'll see some you lovelies next time," I picked a random chick to chip her chin and blew a kiss at the rest before taking my leave from the shorter group. The girls beamed like a section of head lights.

The men I passed? Yeah they gave dirty looks, but they were stupid enough to try something. Most of 'em were human and they know better than to fight a demon. And the ones who wanted to buck weren't strong enough to go toe to toe with me. So they had no choice but to wallow in their shameful sack of fat.

For every lady I went by a sexy smirk was sent my way and I'd gladly return the gesture with a darker grin and a lick of my lips. That'd make 'em squeeze their legs tight from wanting me to unleash their horniness or some would pop up some voluptuous asset that'd tempt me to come over and talk. I just loved the mating ritual. A wink here, a chat there and a secluded room of the gym locked tight to ram my dick up any one of these girls.

Yes life was good.

Some envious glares and flirty rounds later, I was heading over to get a sip of water from the fountain but as I bent over I heard a collective sigh of breathy purrs and giggles. It figures. Right as I bend over to give a tiny peek of my ass cheeks, the girls would be meowing like lecherous kittens. I had drunk enough water to give them a lasting show before sitting up to dismiss the group for the fifth time.

"Ladies, come on," I started as I turned around. "I know you want my ass but—" My face slammed flat against a giant wall of hair sweat and something smelling pretty raunchy. Ugh I unsuctioned my face, spitting out what I hoped wasn't a girl who hadn't showered in a while. But after I got my eyes out of their blurry view, I caught sight of a wide orange chest with tattooing stripes going from one end to the next.

This. Was. Not. A. Chick. "Shit, my bad man."

"None taken," the tiger demon deeply grumbled, pushing by to get to the water fountain.

I was going to apologize again just to be sure he had to ill well but I heard my fan of babies sighing again and discovered it wasn't for me. My ears kicked off toward the source and I saw them all circling what I bet 'cha was a newbie trying to take my harem. Somebody was pushing in on my territory. That was just where I was a few minutes earlier doing my push-ups.

Nah, I ain't too worried. I gotta let some of these up starts get a little of the action. Besides I got my libido pumped to the point of getting a dozen of these girls pregnant. I'll just let him—

"Oh, he is so sexy. Girl what number is he on?"

"I forgot after five hundred and seventy four."

Hold the fuck up. Old dude was breaking my record. Now I need to regulate. Who the hell does he think is? I run this got'damn gym; it and the folks that come up in here.

The evil green monster was about to rear his ugly head today. I shrugged his evil ass off my shoulder and reproduced my symbolic charm as I strolled over, ready to scope out the new merchandise. I wasn't going to get too hyped up on this it wasn't the first time somebody came through trying to show off. I'd give 'em a piece of what I'm made of then they'd learn their place. It's just a man thing so don't any of you try to figure it out. For those of you married, I bet your man was doing this way before he met you. Just ask 'em.

"Ssss baby he is so fine."

"Who is he?"

"Girl I don't know but I'm going to find out after this."

Pfft bunch of skeezers. They weren't just lusting after my body not too long ago. Putting my smile in place of the scowl, I waltz through and looped an arm around a sexy babe, "Ladies, ladies, ladies, what in the world has you all yappin' like this?"

"Him," My left honey said breathlessly, like I wasn't even here. "He's been pumping since he got here and still rolling. His body is like . . .Mmm."

"Hn," I unlatched my arm from her and put my full attention into seducing the other. "He can't be all that good can he babe? Not how I was."

"Ha," She snorted on a laugh. "Don't hate 'Yash. This man is close to six hundred. Better than that little five you did."

My arm came off that wench too. Forget the both of 'em. They ain't all that fine anyway. But both these ugly girls had me curious. I was wondering who it was stealing my fans from me. So I squeezed through them all, bypassing the thick all of men and the smaller wave of women until I was center row and seeing . . . "What the fuck?"

There he was, in his shirtless glory, bucking his back up and down fastly pushing out those pushups like they were the easiest thing in the world. Alabaster skin was streaming down the side of his face and making his hair liquefy into watery silver over his shoulder. Every time his head bounced so did that ponytail flapping on his side. Those flexing back muscles coiled and released like springs as sweat collected in the center and oozed down his sides. His dark blue jersey shorts were hanging loosely on his waist, and I'm guessing he was oblivious to the building crew because of the earphones lodged in his pointy ears.

He wasn't doing half bad. I'm man enough to admit it.

Folding my arms, I shifted my weight from my left to my right, eye balling this jerk like the asshole he was.

My ears twitched at the whispering mutters from behind and the laughing squeals, echoing like acid. I chewed my bottom lip wondering if it'd be polite for me to kick his ass off balance . . . nah I'm not that cruel.

But I was going to wait and see how long it took him until he finally collapsed from exhaustion. Then I'd through it the fool's face for trying to be a sexy hero.

. . . but after fifteen minutes I started getting irritated when his grunts began turning some of the girls on more than what I was doing. His back etching in and out like—yeah the girls nearly died.

Well I wasn't about to be showed up like that. I'll be damned if I let this dumbass make me look weak.

"Yo," I tapped my foot under his face when he rose.

Sesshomaru leveled me a questionable glare and used one hand to pull off the earphones and the other to support his wait—again making the females braid their legs tight. "Can I help you?" he inquired softly.

My ears swiveled from side to side when I noticed all eyes on me. "Um, you and me, two hundred sit ups. Ten minutes."

That made him pull his legs back and shoot up to his full height, which I keep forgetting is about a foot taller than me and pretty much every one else in the whole area.

Sesshomaru whipped his towel around and dried off his face and neck, taking his precious time.

"Well?" I mouthed with plenty of attitude.

Sesshomaru tilted his head back still sponging off the film of salty fluids, pondering over my request. "Why?"

"Because you're pissing me off."

"You're sure this isn't out of revenge?" He casually murmured.

"Reveng—" Oh right. I forgot about that happening earlier today. "Nah its just competition."

"Hm," he chuckled, after finishing off the dry fest. His hazel eyes sparkled with an annoying glint that seemed to only make me angrier. "You must enjoy making a fool out of yourself, or as you people tend to say, a complete ass."

"Ohhhhh," The crowd egged. Seriously what are ya'll? A bunch of ten year olds? But I was catching it just as bad.

"We'll see," I grounded out cockily. "Either come with it or step. Your call."

I nearly peed on myself when Sesshomaru smiled. It wasn't one of those wide toothy grins some folks do to look pretty or one of those overbearing wicked smiles. No this was a smirk, hardly pulling the ends of his lips. That shit terrified me a little inside—as if he planned to eat me alive.

"Fine," he finally said after gracing me with that deadly spell. "But let's weigh the rules a little."

Fuck I hated having conditions, "Shoot."

"If I win I want another pie by tomorrow. Same flavor, same style."

"Pfft is that it?" I died a little inside when some of the men started chuckling about the pie comment. "Cool, it's a deal. But if I win, you have to mow the lawn butt naked tomorrow morning."

I blinked horrified. The men blinked at me horrified and the girls cheered louder than a football game. And all Sesshomaru did was lift one of his slender eyebrows.

Don't give me that look people. It was all I could come up with so fast. Keh, as if you didn't want him to do it. I bet he'd chicken out without so much as—

"Deal."

I froze. "W-what?"

"I said," he stepped up to me, fully reminding me of the massive height difference as his eyes half lidded looking my face over. "Deal, but be sure to submit in your pit of shame while you're making my dish."

Oh so he's already declaring victory eh? Fuck that. "Bring it asshole." Fuck the crowd, fuck the gym, and fuck reputation. This was just about pride.

"I'm about to ram your ass in the ground," I grunted getting in position.

"Hmm Mm, we'll see whose ass is rammed." I thought that's what I heard him whisper gently, but I must've misunderstood and I lied on my back to get ready.

I'm going to let loose.

"Come on Inuyasha, you have ten more to go."

"Fuck you."

"Ten more."

"Fuck you."

"Ten more."

"Fuck. You."

As you can see, I'm pissed. But then again when I have I not been pissed so far right? Well I had my reasons to be this time. I was mad, I was confused and I wondered what the hell happened in a matter of ten minutes. How in the hell did that turn into fifteen with the same idiot coaching me on from the sides.

I refuse to go into detail of what happened. But I will give you all a brief recap of the events. It something like, Sesshomaru and me getting into position and when a random person said goes—I couldn't remember much of shit from there.

Right when I tried to do one, my stomached cramped like you wouldn't believe. It would happen at a time like that when I was trying to stomp with the big boys. The only piece of relief I got out of the thing was the bundle of squealing girls hollering whenever me or Sesshomaru crunched our abs tight. I was doing pretty well after I worked through the first cramp but by the time I reached one hundred and fifty I was nearly gone. But Sesshomaru had shot through the first hundred like a crack addict. He faster than even my eyes could see.

All I heard was smacking against the mat and his demonic grunts pushing him up and down, up and down. I think I blacked out after that because the next time I opened my eyes all I saw was his face hovering above mines. I think I smiled out of confusion because he smiled back at me and said something that really woke me up.

"You enjoy making an ass out of yourself don't you?"

"Shut up," I coughed weakly. I didn't want to sit up because if I did I knew there'd be a bunch of people looking at my pathetic ass. Where the hell was that lightning bolt when you needed it?

So from there Sesshomaru somehow convinced me to finish up on the remaining however many I had and well, I was struggling to do these final ten.

"Ten more."

"Shut up, damn. I can count." He was getting on my last nerves. So I hurried with the last ten—ok, ok, I worked my ass off getting those last ones but shit I'm sore. You remember what I said I did before? I'm tired.

"Not bad," Sesshomaru complimented unsquatting from the floor.

"Whatever," I was mad. And my anger only sort to increase when I tried to sit up I couldn't do it. So I attempted to roll over and that only succeeded in me flopping on my stomach.

That's it. I'm done. I'm spending the night at the gym like a homeless person. If they found me here, hopefully my legs would've remembered how to walk.

This I thought was the best solution and was close to going with it.

Until my sides were grabbed and my entirety was hiked up effortlessly like a child. My back rocked back against some hot, solid and sticky. I looked over my shoulder and saw Sesshomaru's face about an inch from mines. Scared me shitless when my ass brushed against something huge, pointy and heavy? That had me rearing back with my fists up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa." I took a couple of shuffle steps to show I wasn't playing. Felt like his chest burned my back; no seriously it felt like I got burned because his chest was smothering.

"Easy," Sesshomaru cautioned holding his hands up. "I was only helping."

"Whatever man," I dusted myself off, ready to go home. I didn't care about the staring and ignored whoever tried to make eye contact with me.

I went straight for the locker room and for whatever reason Sesshomaru was following close behind still smiling arrogantly. He was lucky I didn't clock his ass out of principle. But mama always said to do to people what you want them to do to you. So I manned up and took my loser streak like an Alpha. But I wasn't going to stop pouting about or erase my twisted expression on my face.

I shoved all of my clothes, bathing items and gym supplies in my duffle bag ready to get out of there but as I turned to leave, I found Sesshomaru blocking my way, leaning against the door with his arms floor and the smile gone.

"What?" I grunted rudely.

"We still have a deal right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I'll make you the stupid pie . . . move the fuck outta the way." I pushed him out of the way, getting pissed just looking at him.

"By the way," he started as I was walking pass the treadmills. "I think you would've held your own just fine if you hadn't been here longer than me. Doing so much in such little time; sit ups, pushups, running . . . it can really drain your body. . ." his voice trailed off to a low growl.

I stopped. "Well I come here all the time so—what the?" I snapped my head around to cuss him out royally but he was already gone. I couldn't believe this shit.

Where the fuck was he at? I swear I'm fucking him up. I swear to God I'm jacking his girly ass up.

He knew I'd been in here all this time. He knew I did all those exercise. He knew I'd be sore by then. He knew I'd lose. He knew he'd win . . . "Son of a bitch . . ."

That motherfucker played me.

TBC: Inuyasha seriously Hun, stop making an ass out of yourself lol. ^_^