Author's Note:I think it's been over a year since I last updated! This apter has actually been written for a long time, but I did not have the energy to type it. I was also stuck on page 175 for forever (chapter 11). I'm still not done with chapter eleven but I might add there is a spicier dash of SasoSaku in that one than I normally put. I don't imagine them to be the gushy types so I try to express their love explicitly without them having to be so explicit about it.

This isn't beta'd in the slightest. It was never beta'd and usually I didn't have to worry about it. As of late for some reason I find I am misspelling a lot of words. Just now I found "Waterfall vile" instead of "village." I guess I'm not pressing some keys hard enough. Please enjoy, new readers and the faithful that have stayed despite the fact that I don't think any are here! Please review too.

Oh, and I might add that the 100 Flash project, the visual component to this story, but in a chronological order, was finished as of December 31st, 2010.

Chapter Ten Fears and Regrets

IF SASORI DIDN'T KNOW soon, Sakura feared he would be too detached to accept he was going to have a child. But Sakura was also afraid he would not accept it in the first place.

Sasori was neither blind nor an idiot, so he knew masquerading his Akatsuki gear would get them nowhere. He was a little intimidating himself, with his dark glower and cold stance, so getting a discounted room was of ease. He dumped his belongings on one of the twin beds. He ignored the clear discomfort of Sakura, who sat in thought on the other bed. She was old enough now to face her problems when she was able to. He simply continued fumbling with things that didn't need fumbling with to keep the pretense of preoccupation. "Sasori?"

"Hhmm," he responded, voice muffled because of a scroll he kept firmly in his mouth.

"I'm… I'm having a… a kid."

Sasori did not stop his work for a moment. "Yes."

"It's kind of… your… kid."

"Yes."

"Is that all you have to say?" Sasori looked up, sensing her temper rising. "Yes isn't even a proper reply!"

"What did you expect me to say?"

"How about, is it a boy? A girl? Twins? I expected you to be angry and punch the wall. Or me."

There was a slight pause when he heard the last part leave her lips but he feigned confusion over a puppet part he was fixing. "Why would I ask? I already knew."

"You… knew?"

"I can trace even the faintest of chakra signatures. I feel two around you. I am thinking you thought I lived thirty-six years of brilliance without a brain."

"No, no, but… why didn't you say anything?"

"I was waiting for you to say it out of your own volition."

"Why?"

"How am I to know if you should like to raise a child with me, the infamous S-Rank missing-nin, Suna's terror, Akasuna no Sasori? I should like it if our child had both its parents, but if you would like that I would not know." Because he hadn't had his own growing up, he experienced the solitude first hand. He knew every nook of its loneliness, every crack of the heart. And as heartless as he had become, he did not wish to repeat the same torment on his own flesh and blood.

Gently, Sakura took his hands in hers. His knuckles lightly brushed her stomach, which had a few weeks to go before showing serious signs. She kissed him sweetly on his cheek, mimicking him, "I should like that too." Sasori freed one of his hands and placed it at the base of her neck so that their foreheads could touch.

"I'll teach you the highest level genjutsu you will ever know," he said quietly. Sakura broke into a knowing smile.

"Oh really now?"

"Yes, so that you can hide our child. But before that…"

THE DOOR WEARILY PROTESTED, or maybe it was just the hinges. It didn't matter which was complaining; something was, and it attested to the despair that thundered upon the people and the land. "What would send these people into such hopelessness?" was the dominant question that only Saori seemed to care about. Deidara ignored it all; she felt it as heartlessness but he already had gotten over the devastating poverty from years as a missing-nin.

Deidara, however, still had difficulty getting over the single bed, which Saori felt she had rights to plop in the middle of. "Your life sucks," she mumbled through the dusty pillow.

"Hell, I'd say your sucks worse, hmm." He didn't bother asking her to move over, favoring to simply push her over. She was light enough to do so with ease.

"How can mine suck worse? You get a different bed every night. You've had this sucky lifestyle longer than I have."

"Tch, but I don't have a different bed. I get food, clothes, and housing from Akatsuki. You have nothing, hmm."

"No, I have… something."

"Like what, hmm?"

"I'll… figure it out."

"This kind of life suits me fine. I can do my art practically whenever I want, hmm. But you? You probably had dumb plans of raising a family or something like that. You can't have that anymore."

"I haven't wanted kids for years."

"That's a lie, hmm. That's a freakin' lie!"

"Have you ever thought about having kids?"

"What the hell, yeah, no. Kids are deadweights."

"That's an awful thing to say."

"I can't be one of those crazy idiots who want as many kids as they have fingers, hmm. And don't tell me you're like that. I don't want to dream of dozens of Ootowari kids tonight."

"I can't."

"Hell, yeah, you can't. You're like what, twelve, hmm?"

"Fourteen."

"Whatever, same difference, hmm. Still too young."

"At my age it isn't impossible to bear children, you doofus."

"STOP! Stop right where you are. There is a place where my head does not go, and you are bringing me there, hmm!"

He heard her sigh. "Besides that's not what I meant by 'I can't'."

"Then mind being clearer? You always do this, hmm." Deidara felt a shift in weight on the bed. Suddenly the candle on Saori's side lit up. He groaned and rolled over, about to demand she put out the fire. "Hey, hey, I didn't say I'd have a kid with you, hmm!" Saori glared at him over her exposed shoulder.

"Deidara, you are going to be only the second person to know this about me."

"Know what about you? That you try to get banged up by good-looking strangers, hmm?" For someone outwardly comfortable with his sexuality, he felt extremely uncomfortable when Saori removed her shirt. His annoyed face moved down to her bare back. What he saw took the breath away from his lungs. "That infection, I know it, hmm. It's a common long-term reaction to a poison they use in Iwa, hmm. Two-three years, four tops, you've had it. Why the hell didn't you get help?" Deidara knew Iwa we. She had had the scars and purplish uneven skin for a little over two years now, a gift she had received the first year she was a genin at the age of twelve years. It was the year Toyotomi got her on early graduation in order to join his team.

"I couldn't support my team from a hospital bed. They needed me." She omitted the part that Toyotomi needed her to make his team appear strong, and that she hadn't been hurt on a perilous mission, but on a routine exercise gone wrong.

"Did they use something new on you? Usually these things have time limits, yeah."

Saori hesitated to answer, favoring watching Deidara fish for something out of his bag. Whatever it was, he did not find it. "Do me a favor? Don't tell anyone about this."

Deidara quickly glanced up and saw her despair. In that moment, he knew it was bad. "What did the nurses say about this?"

SORA HAD ONLY BEEN on a few missions when Mikaiyo announced a break, so to speak. She did not elaborate, leaving Toyotomi to explain it to his younger teammates. "Every year, Iwa has a genin away camp. Its objective is to enhance and test our skills. If we fail, we go back to the academy, as a whole cell. If you fail, Sora, I fail. I don't do failure." She understood his underlying message well. "Kaino, I don't think your money is going to bail you out of this one. This test of sorts has been tradition. Every Iwa ninja has one through this camp more than once, never failing."

Kaino scoffed delicately. "Money can buy everything."

"Maybe in a soft village like Konoha, but not here. I won't take any failure on your part either. Even if you're half-dead, Kaino." In the end, Toyotomi's words remained true. Kaino was required to go but by arrangement, Toyotomi was protect him or he and Mikaiyo would have to answer to the Tsuchikage. The title of Tsuchikage was on the line for the fifteen year old boy. They each packed up their belongings the night prior, Kaino a little too much. It would be his first night not in a bed. Sora closed the door of her borrowed apartment softly, not knowing her life would change dramatically the next time she walked through that door.

Toyotomi automatically led his juniors, this trip being the fifth one he made - even though he was formally listed as a two-man cell with Mikaiyo, the Board of Advisors dictated he should attend the camp each year he was a genin to pressure him into getting a proper cell assembled, which was one of the reasons he pulled Sora out from the academy early. "We'll be separated into different genin camps," Toyotomi said midway through the hike up Iwa's northern mountains. "There's usually three or four genin cells per camp. With luck, we won't get any idiots in our camp. I don't know the sequence of events, but you can bet your life there will be at least two camp ambushes. At the end we'll be a moving unit and attack other genin camps; they will try to ambush us as well. During this event, we can switch genin camps, so don't let any of the others in our camp know too much about us. Other genin teams will trade inside information to gain trust and be accepted into rival camps. I don't do teaming up. Once the last event starts, we're breaking off from all the genin camps. We're going solo."

The trio arrived at the base camp in short breaths, their thighs starting to feel the burn. "Ootowari, you're camp two," barked a chuunin, surrounded by genin of varying ages.

"Yo, Ootowari! Keep an eye over your shoulder - we'll be 'ounding for you!" jeered a group of rowdy-looking chuunin. Toyotomi only gave them a dark glower of hatred. His sleeve scrunched up into his hand, his knuckles turning white. Kano regarded them disdainfully, because they seemed uncivilized. Sora watched them warily from the corner of her eye. They smelled heavily of trouble. Later she would know just how much trouble they would cause.

"Let us attend this second camp," said Kaino, in a rare moment in which he did not think of himself but of someone else. Toyotomi felt his body become rigid with each passing moment he kept his red eyes trained on the group which continued to make obscene gestures in mockery of him. Kaino reached to push Toyotomi's gaze away but Sora stopped him and used her own. Kaino withdrew, understanding her purpose. It would be of no shock if Toyotomi hit anybody who shoved him, and damage was something Kaino could not suffer if Toyotomi wanted to avoid meeting the Tsuchikage and Kaino's parents later. Gently, Sora placed her fingertips between his shoulder blades and gave him a light push. He whipped around to face her violently, and she inwardly cringed, waiting for what was sure to be painful. After a moment, she opened her eye, and caught Toyotomi turning away, his knuckles, so near to her cheek, losing altitude. Kaino let free the breath he had not known he had been withholding. Toyotomi stalked away, a dark little cloud following. The one incident already foretold that this trip would be much more different than all the others Toyotomi had endured.

"Alright! We got the Ootowari this year!" some male genin cheered enthusiastically. Most girls trained their eyes on the short blonde standing behind Toyotomi, otherwise known as Watanabe Kaino.

"Kaino-kuuuuuun!" squealed one of the girls, who launched to her feet to greet him personally. "How are you? I'm cooking something, just for you." Sora had a deadpan look on her face. It was amazing what some girls would do to marry into wealth.

"What're you waiting for? Go pitch the tent. It isn't going to pitch itself!" snapped Toyotomi. Behind his back, Sora shot him a mean look. She was frankly getting tired of them both. She dumped her light backpack - as well as some of Kaino's multiple pieces of luggage which Sora and Toyotomi had divided between each other - onto the ground, looking for their tent and setting it up when it was found. The light blue purity of the sky quickly fell like an apple from a tree. Most of the male genin were doing this and that to make the camp livable, under Toyotomi's command. It was only natural that Toyotomi became their undisputed leader. The boys felt belittled by his extensive experience over them and the girls had no interest in taking leadership, still far from being properly hardened female Iwa chuunin. Kaino as per usual entertained the opposite sex with anecdotes of his rich life that were actually of no interest; his listeners pretended it was anyways, hoping to win his favor and from there gain access to the Watanabe gold reserves. It would appear that the females had lost hope with tapping into the Ootowari fortune, and they could not be blamed. It became obvious that Ootowari Toyotomi sought usefulness out of a bride as opposed to beauty or flattery. "Sora!" She jolted back to the present at the sound of Toyotomi's annoyed voice. She exited the tent where she had lain and walked to him; he stood over two boys, who were trying to start a fire with just sticks, as flint was not permitted into the camps. Toyotomi met her questioning glance and pointed to the dug pit and sticks. Without warning, she drew in her breath.

"Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu!" The two boys scrambled to get out of the way of the angry flames that hungered for flesh.

"Some warning!" yelled one of the two victims. "I swear, she's out to kill us. She shouldn't be here!"

"Well if she kills you, then I'll be left with the more useful lot," sneered Toyotomi. He nodded his head towards their tent, signifying Sora was permitted to return to the tent. "Get ready for an ambush. My bets are that of them is tonight, considering just which chuunin are running this operation," he said to the others. Some boys nodded, gathering their ninja equipment. Sora went back to lie on her blanket, listening to the quiet pounding of her heart.

At around midnight, the camp was preparing to eat a late dinner. They planned on eating after the ambush, but it had yet to occur. Toyotomi was becoming increasingly doubted. Annoyed, he and Sora wolfed down the portions handed to them by Yuuka, one of the girls and the camp's only medic-in-training, neither intending on being ambushed midway through eating dinner. To pass the time as the three genin teams anxiously waited for the ambush, Yuuka and the other girl in the camp decided to play a game of questions. Sora absently wondered if the other genin camps did the same strange things. "Okay, okay!" the overly girlish one piped up "I've got a good question. If you had just one person you could say goodbye to, and, like, you're about to die, who would it be and why? For me, it'd be Kaino because..." She burst into a fit of giggles. Kaino seemed quite pleased with himself. The boy to Kaino's left said his dog, because his dog was the best thing that ever happened to him.

"Well, my parents are very important, you know. If I ought to choose, I would pick my mother. After all, she gave my looks and all of my other talents. Where would I be without her? Aside from being terrified of my own ugliness," Kaino responded.

"You're so thoughtful, Kaino!" the first girl squealed. "And you, Toyotomi-kun?"

She didn't quite understand why, but Sora felt her heart banging against her chest. Was that Toyotomi who she felt staring at her? She couldn't tell, and she didn't dare to look. After an irritably long silence, Toyotomi answered, "My mother. I owe her a lot. Too much."

"Oh, you two! Both so thoughtful!" Kaino frowned, not quite appreciating the recycled compliment. Sora desperately hoped she did not let out a big sigh of disappointment as she felt she had. She felt almost like a deflated balloon. Quickly, she muttered, "Mikaiyo. She's the closest thing I've had to a parent... ever, actually." And so the interrogation continued.

"What's your dream?" Yuuka asked. The female to her left glanced at Kaino and somehow deeply blushed into another fit of giggles. The next guy said to not be a ninja. Kaino said he needed none because he could anything he wanted at any time he wanted it. Toyotomi took a deep breath, then settled for an answer.

"When I am Tsuchikage, I will change Iwagakure so that girls don't giggle like idiots, boys know how to start fires with just two pieces of wood, and... oh, right, so there won't be any more of these stupid questions. Iwa's getting too soft like Konoha."

"O...K... Good, ahm, ambition, I guess. You, Sora?"

Sora closed her eyes. She knew her dreams well and could recite them by heart. "I want to be part of a real family. Not a husband, not kids, not that kind of family, but a real father, a real mother. An older brother and an older sister. A little sister, too. I want to go home after a long day and go on my tiptoes to kiss my brother on his cheek, bend down to hug my father while he's sitting down and reading the paper, play with my little sister and hone her shuriken skills when she's old enough, and help my older sister and mother cook dinner. And after all of this, I want to leave this life peacefully. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't need to be famous, but I just want, years from now, someone to remember I once existed, that I once walked this earth." She opened her bright gold eyes to see Yuuka's lost appearance and Toyotomi giving her a distant look. There was a quiet still. Kaino thought how desolate the lives of the less rich working class were to have such simple dreams.

Then chaos erupted.

There was a sudden barrage of shuriken and kunai, and a few annoying scrapes followed. Toyotomi snapped out of his trance and barked orders. It was the first survival test, the ambush. "Sora, disarm them! I have to make sure Kaino doesn't get hurt," he ordered. Sora nodded, proud that he had chosen her, trusted her to lead their counterattack in his place. Frankly, she wished genin camp wasn't a requirement so that Kaino wouldn't have to come and get his life endangered. The two genin teams and Sora quickly sent the ambushers running without any serious injuries. Had her bloated pride not clouded her judgment, she would have realized the ambushers ran too easily. Yuuka treated the resulting wounds the best her very limited training could allow. Sora had just finished taping a bandage to a forearm scratch when Toyotomi walked up. "Well, I'm definitely surprised you got away with only a scratch."

Sora looked up as Toyotomi unrolled some more bandage to tightly seal the scratch from infection. "Yeah, I guess I am, too." There was a small little smile on his face as he tightened the cloth around her left forearm. She had delivered better than he had expected her to and was firmly satisfied that he had chosen her to be on his team. The wait for her had been worth it, he deemed.

"C'mon," he replied when he was done, walking away from the camp. Sora glanced at their camp mates, all of which were busy either bandaging themselves or retelling their feats in exaggerated forms. "Let's go! Some of these chuunin are downright nasty and come back for second rounds though they're not supposed to," Toyotomi urged. In short, he decided he'd like to make routine rounds with her above anybody else. A smile lighted her face again as she jogged to catch up to him. It grew intensely quiet except for the sound of lively crickets, one of the rare life forms in this sparse forest high on the mountains north of Iwagakure. A small yawn escaped her lips. "Tired?" he smirked.

"Yeah, kind of. All that talking makes me sleepy," her breath hitched when she felt his grip on her forearm.

"Don't fail on me, okay?" he said. She nodded wearily.

"I won't, I won't."

"Good. I need strong members who stay strong, not strong members who grow weak."

"Alrighty, Mr. Captain."

"You got that right," he chuckled a little. "By the way...," he started, nudging Sora to turn to him.

"Yeah?" she asked quietly, noting she was getting a bit taller, now able to see a bit over Toyotomi's shoulder. He continued to say something, none of which she heard. "Toyotomi!" Completely on a whim, she threw him to the ground, but didn't most fast enough.

"What the hell?" Toyotomi snapped angrily, coughing the dirt out of his lungs. Sora was halfway to the ground. He stood up, dusting his pants. "Are you crazy...?" He stared at the projectiles sticking out from her back. The color drained from his face before Sora collapsed.

Toyotomi was sure he had never moved faster in his life. He caught Sora before she hit the ground and nearly burst his chakra network, shoving an immense amount of chakra to his feet. He deftly avoided all impediments on his way back to camp. Once there, he roared, "YUUKA!" and almost shocked the life out of the poor medic. She scrambled to her feet.

"Y-yes?"

"Sora needs medical attention! Now!" he ordered, heading into his team's tent. "Get out!" Kaino, who was inside, blinked in confusion. "Get. out." Kaino quickly got out of the way as Toyotomi set Sora on his sleeping mat. "What do I have to do?" he asked Yuuka.

"Um, um, get her into a sitting position, I guess -"

"Don't guess!"

"Okay, okay! I've never used medical ninjutsu on human subjects before, I mean, I could hurt her instead..."

"I don't care, do it! Can't you tell? There's poison!" Yuuka's face paled.

"Has she been walking?"

"No, not since we were attacked. Why?"

"The speed at which the poison disperses depends on the poison, but any movement would have helped spread it."

"Well make sure it doesn't! Hurry up, she's losing too much blood!" Yuuka reached for Sora's shirt, then glanced back up. "What?"

"I'm going to have to see her back."

"And?" Yuuka decided further conversation was useless and that Toyotomi wouldn't let Sora out of his sight, whether she was naked or not. She quickly did away with the clothes. The blood - oh, the blood! Sora's darkened back was painted in every which way with the glistening redness of blood. Yuuka's instincts kicked in; stop the bleeding, or she'll die, stop the bleeding, stop the bleeding. Her hands flickered with green light. The blood streaming outward began to slow, and the severity of the wounds was surfacing. Toyotomi, who stood guard at the tent entrance, sensed Yuuka's sudden hesitation. "What's wrong?"

"It... doesn't look good."

"What do you mean?"

"I... panicked - there was so much blood, I didn't know if we had any proper blood donors here, so I forgot -" she paused. She saw the fear instilled in him, a fear he probably didn't even know existed within him. His eyes were trained on the light purple tinge of the wounds, on the light pink outline of the freshly sealed skin. "I guess I should have cleaned it first, but there was so much blood -"

"Do not tell me you made a mistake," he hissed.

"She'll be okay - for now - but she needs better medical attention! I don't know how to make antidotes, but she needs one, before the poison really spreads!"

"I'll take her. I'll pull out of the camp and take her back to the village."

"But if you pull out, you'll..." He'd risk going back to the academy. He did not say anything, not even to ask if temporary treatment was done, and reached to pick Sora up and run her to the village as quickly as possible. However, Sora seemed to have a different idea. She clutched his outstretched arm, shakily getting to her feet.

"No," Sora hoarsely whispered.

"Are you crazy? You heard Yuuka, you need medical attention!"

"No," she repeated, glaring at hm. "I told you I wouldn't be strong and then grow weak." Toyotomi bit his lip. His words usually didn't come back to bite him like this. He wanted to show off and boast of a strong team, but her life could be on the line. Then again, Yuuka did say something about being okay at the moment. "Look. They don't know what happened. I can still be the strong team member you sought in me. I won't let you down." Yuuka sensed the defeat in Toyotomi's posture.

"Toyotomi, you can't let her stay! She needs the antidote!"

"Does she need it now?" he asked.

"Well, not really, she just can't move, but -"

"Sora, don't fail me. I do not want to know I made a dumb mistake awhile from now," he interrupted, looking intensely at Sora. She smiled weakly.

"I won't," she replied. Barely satisfied, Toyotomi put her to rest as Yuuka left concerned and annoyed. He could not sleep that night, but lied beside Sora as she slumbered throughout the night, monitoring her vital signs. Watching her sleep brought him just a little peace of mind.

Despite Yuuka's warnings, Sora hardly sat still for the duration of the camp, always in action when defense was needed. She filled in Toyotomi's place when he himself could not. Occasionally she experienced intense back pains that ate at her waning strength, but she bit down all forms of weakness. She would not let him down. She could not. At the end of the week, the conclusion of the genin away camp, Sora more than anything wanted to flop down on a cushy bed, quell the cries of her backside, and fall into a deep slumber forever. Toyotomi would not have it, however, shoving her towards the hospital to give her back the professional medical care they had denied it. He forced the staff to take her in first and paid the bill for the check-up. The wounds had healed but left nasty purple marks on her skin. Toyotomi had not seen the wounds since Yuuka's treatment, and therefore did not understand the severity of her state and his mistake. It was not entirely his to own the blame, but Sora, knowing him was sure he would kick himself for it anyways. She chose not to breathe a word of the awful marks which marred her back and left it roughened in fear he would pull out of the camp and force her back to the village. Now she would regret it. The nurse who attended to her - it had been considered a minor injury and by all means should have been - was astonished that Sora had not come back immediately after the attack. Fear gripped every part of her bruised, sore body. It sounded pretty bad. And it was. "What's the verdict?" Sora asked shakily.

The nurse did not look like she brought good news. She sighed, "You really should have come back immediately. Not going back to the academy was not worth this." She is wrong, Sora silently argued. She saved her team's pride, even made Toyotomi proud. Some scars could not possibly compare! But only if it were just some scars. "This poison is widely used by us Iwa ninja. Somebody in your camp should have known you could not stay. It's relatively harmless if it receives immediate treatment and the antidote, but you've seen action after getting these injuries. This poison spreads quickly with motion and is efficient in breaking down organs. That's why we use it."

"But why are you telling me all this? What does it mean?"

"It means the antidote won't work on you now. I can give you a healing salve to stagnate the effects and deterioration, but it won't get rid of the poison. I had hoped maybe you could get a dialysis, but it's too late, even for that. It's fled your circulatory system and it's in the very cells of your organs."

"Salve? If you can't get rid of it, then..."

DEIDARA WAS NOT ONE to sit still and be dumbfounded. His life no longer had room for sadness and tragedy. "Well where's the salve, hmm? Keep putting it on and you might luck out."

"I... I haven't really put it on."

"You crazy, hmm?"

"I don't know if you've noticed but I can't reach my back."

"You should have asked Mikaiyo to do it, or that Yuuka girl, hmm!"

"They didn't know that I couldn't be saved. I made sure no one but the nurse and I knew. In time the Tsuchikage will know, but I didn't want to be stared at because I' m short on hours. I also didn't want Toyotomi to know... that I let him down." It took much restraint for Deidara not to make a insulting comment about the stupidity of her actions just to satisfy an Ootowari.

"Give me the salve anyways, hmm. It'd still help. This must be hurting like a bitch with all teh running we've been doing, hmm!"

She rummaged her bag for the blue pastel bottle. Sadness dwelled deeper in her heart, knowing the salve wasn't going to save her. He unscrewed the cap and spread the cream on her back. "I was wrong about you. You're a better person that I thought you were."

"Hey, hey, no more of this mushy stuff. I run on testosterone, not estrogen, hmm."

"Yeah, yeah, okay."

IN IWAGAKURE LIFE WENT on as usual for jounin Mikaiyo and her chuunin disciple, Toyotomi. With Sora or Saori now gone, there was no need to keep team 18, nor Kaino, whose parents were infuriated that their baby had been in such close contact with a "missing-nin." Knowing Toyotomi yearned to know, and knowing it would be unwise for Toyotomi to try to find out for himself, Mikaiyo used her sources inside the intricacies of the underground agency - high-ranking recon shinobi - to kepe tabs on information about Saori - where she was, was she okay, what she was doing, had Iwa ninja finally killed her.

Each time she met with her student she brought no news, which both agreed was better than bad news. The three other three escaped inmates never were killed, they were informed by the intelligence provided by recon teams. Mikaiyo knew Deidara and Sasori's stealth skills were not to be doubted for a second, so it was of no surprise to her that the recon teams could not find the two. Hopefully, Saori had fallen in their favor, Mikaiyo found herself thinking, because if Saori tried to run from the two Akatsuki, she would be completely overpowered.

His sore muscles sighed in relief, warmed by the heat of the water as Toyotomi ducked into the shower. Dissatisfied, he twisted the showerhead. That was much better. He scrubbed every particle of dirt he could from his now whitened body. After a good while, he reluctantly shut the water off, grabbing two freshly washed, fluffy towels off its shelf; one went on his soaked hair, the other around his waist. He instinctively went to the safe hidden in the floor of his closet. His mother made him keep things of monetary value in there, but he kept those of sentimental value. The lid eased open. He dug through the other items, which he considered junk. There was a little red velvet box at the bottom, safely wrapped in an old shirt. It used to house a large diamond necklace his mother owned and passed to him to give to his fiancée - in short, she told him to find one soon and win her over through lavish gifts. He had dumped the necklace in some cheap box so as to put the velvet box to better use. He gently closed the lid of his safe and turned the dial. It clicked, locked.

He eased the lid of the velvet box open with its gold detailing sparkling in the morning sun. Its latest tenant was far less superior in terms of monetary value and beauty, but in terms of sentimental value, it was by far superior. It was one of the most treasured things he owned: Saori's necklace. It scarcely left her neck when she was in Iwagakure and later during the days of her imprisonment she told him it was a memento of her clan, that of the Ookamika Clan. That, along with the choker she believed to have belonged to Naomi, her mother, and her gold belt were the only things that anchored her to her past. He knew it hadn't been hard for her to give it to him, but he still cherished it nonetheless. He didn't have any photos or videos of the former team 18, no letters from Saori - nothing tangible save for this one necklace that hardly smelled of her. Now he regretted so deeply that he hadn't bonded with his former teammates, never taken any photographs. Heck, now in his solitude he even missed Kaino, whose extensive wealth and his full capability to access it always were helpful. Inside, he was hitting himself. He should have never taken the shortcut, never should have help Saori escaped. He should have fought the Tsuchikage and the Board of Advisors until they relented and cleared Saori's name, be the man that his father failed to be. Fight for what he wanted. But now she was gone, labeled guilty, and at long last he realized how much he really missed her.

THE MOUNTAINS WERE HARDLY of the size to be called mountains and were a long walk away - after all, had there ever been naturally forming mountains near the sea? But the Genyou Senshi was on a two-month mission to throw Akatsuki off of the Ookamika Clan. Saori was left with instructions to practice the Mind's Eye on her own. It seemed the Genyou Senshi had no faith in her disciple's ability to achieve the Third State on her own. Saori was just glad to be temporarily free of the Genyou Senshi's intimidating nature. In search of peace, Kani directed Saori to this shrinking mountain range where pits of water boiled in sharp contrast to the cold environment due to continuous exothermic reactions in the mountain core. The red messenger bag she had bought as a fourteen year old freshly-made missing-nin beat heavily against the gray cloth of her trousers as she hiked, filled with blank rolls of paper, ink sticks, and inkwells, along with a peculiar assortment of ninja tools to sharpen her basic ninja skills which seemed to have grown fuzzy in the river.

Puffs of steam rose to meet her as she walked by, her head beginning to become dizzy due to the altitude. Retracing her steps, Saori chose an encampment nearby a steaming pool a little farther down from where she had hiked. Heavy beige woven cloths draped over jutting rocks, creating a far from cozy little nook that encased its dweller with massive columns of gray rock walls. Never quite having lost a need for seeming cleanliness, Saori bucketed hot water and threw it about the nook, using fire jutsu to dry it out. A flat rock was located; upon its smooth surface she wrote her letters on her black scrolls.

Tiredly, she rested her fingers and stowed the inkwell away. There was no use in procrastinating - she'd come here to face her newfound fear of water. Saori hadn't always been like this. As Ootowari Sora, she had her fears but nothing had kept her so rigid as an endless pool of water. As the Ookamika Saori who was Deidara's sidekick, all fear - save for loneliness - had been banished by his carefree and wild lifestyle. Saori of then and Sora had so greatly contrasted from the Saori of now; the red-haired girl stared at her worn hands and wondered who she was now. She was not bold, hardworking, or strong like Ootowari Sora, neither was she carefree, life-loving, and mischievous like Ookamika Saori, D-Ranked missing-nin of Iwa. She was neither of them now.

She reached the edge of the pool, unable to stared down at its seemingly endless bottom. Deidara wouldn't have even need to look. He would have jumped in without any pants on, knowing him. Her now toes briefly graced the quiet glass, immediately withdrawing upon contact. In Kani's presence, it had been easy deceiving the world in pretense of a minor fear. Here, it was just the truth and her, and it wasn't so easy lying to herself. "Hydrophobic, are you?" The sudden sound of the aged voice caught her completely unawares. Her feet left the safety of dry ground into the intense heat of the water. She did not scream. She dared to open her eyes and give the speaker an once-over.

Sputtering water, Saori responded, "No."

"It seemed so to me," chuckled an old man, who leaned heavily on a smooth, weathered cane, worn by usage and the passage of time. He was bald, covered in wrinkles and sagging skin. He wore a goldenrod undershirt, loose for easy movement, covered by a long red cloth draped neatly over his left shoulder. Saori stared at him awkwardly. She had never seen a living person dress that way, but she had seen it in the Ookamika library, in a copied portion of Jigoku's journal, in which he kept detailed records. She was positive that kind of clothing was worn back in the day, before the clan was created, in the days where there were no shinobi in the deep south, in the old civilization in which the Ookamika hailed from. Some say old habits die hard.

"I just don't like it when there seems to be no bottom."

"If it is as you say, then it is so. Do you bear a name, child?"

She went on automatic, not even aware of her deception, "My name is Ootonami Sasayaku."

"I see. Where have you strayed from? Iwagakure was a bit away last time I knew."

"How do you know about my relation to Iwagakure?"

"A simple hypothesis. No harm was meant. A nice letter you wrote. I'm sure that Toyotomi boy would appreciate it."

"Hey! You're not supposed to read it!"

The old man lightly chuckled. "I won't tell anyone, Sasayaku."

"I come from Takigakure," she said without missing a beat. When did lying get so easy, and to a poor old man of all people? "Toyotomi is my childhood friend." Well, that was sort of true at least.

"Ahh," the old man sighed. "Coming from the Waterfall village, I would not think you would fear bottomless water."

"But that's exactly why - I took a bad fall." That was true too.

"No harm meant, no harm meant. You know, I have a daughter who looks just like you." He chuckled again, "Or some may say it is you who looks just like her. Long red hair, tied perpetually in a ponytail. Of course, she died a piece of her hair orange like my hair once was. It is a tradition we had in Tsukuni. She, too, had gold eyes of a fox, always looking one way but telling another, and a sharp tongue. But she was taller, much taller. It seems we Tsukuni folk are biologically taller to begin with. She went to fight in the war. The others have left but I will still wait for my dear daughter to come home." Tsukuni! Saori supposed it was the name of the old civilization, which had always bore no name.

"If you come from Tsukuni, then your daughter must be well over eighty years old. And you'd be over one hundred. Why is she even fighting? She's too old to be fighting this war."

"What do you speak of, Sasayaku? My daughter is twenty-seven this year."

"That's… that's not possible."

"Are you confused, Sasayaku? It is the First Great Ninja War. Our clan leader, Jigoku, is fighting out there with my daughter." Saori frowned. It was the Fourth Great Ninja War; the first occurred almost eighty years ago, when the Ookamika Clan formed. The only Tsukuni survivors would have been children themselves back then. Could the old man be experiencing Alzheimer's? It seemed a lot more like denial. He had said he was still waiting for his daughter to come back, and if she fought in the first war... she probably died in it.

"Yes, I'm confused - tired. I apologize," she replied, knowing his mind would not be altered.

"It's alright, no harm was meant, no harm was meant. This Mind's Eye you wrote to this boy about... my daughter has it too. She can achieve Fifth State, but I hope she never will have to."

"Fifth State? It's possible?"

He chuckled again. "Why, of course. She is the only one who can achieve it. But, you are in luck today, for I carry the secret to her success."

"Will you tell me?"

"Hehe, if I had not known better, I would have thought you to be my granddaughter. Here it is; you must use all of your chakra in the Fourth State, so that you have absolutely none left. Near death state! But you must also be ready to leave this place without Earthly attachments. No regrets. No Earthly longings. Then you can tap its fearsome power." Saori sank bank into the water. Could she leave her life behind peacefully? She doubted this. She never got to say all those things to Deidara, nor watch Tensai grow old, teach him some of her tricks, nor find her mother and confront her for leaving when Saori was so young. Months ago, when she fell, she had been ready. Now with what she considered a second life, for some reason she wasn't quite ready to leave it again. But then again, she was sixteen now and she hadn't been consistent with the salve. She wouldn't have long to live anyways and if she went without trying to achieve the Fifth State, she would never rest in peace when she went. "Lots of thinking, have you? Death is such a sad topic. Tell me, what is this sickness you write about? Your writing spoke to me of sadness."

Saori mumbled that it was nothing, sinking further into the water.

"Salve? If you can't get rid of the poison, doesn't that mean..."

"Unfortunately, ...yes. It won't happen until some time from now. All at once, your organs will breakdown. It will be quick."

Sora was quiet for the longest period of time, silently despairing. She had just begun enjoying life, looking forward to the future. "How long do I have?"

"At most, five or six years."