Title: In Hell with Love

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI or its characters. I'm just a fan

Author's note: A big 'thank you' goes out to apcJodi, necira, gt4good, maricejayo, Gear's Girl, prpleflipnhippo and Meg-Breanne for their reviews. Without you guys, I don't think I'll be able to continue this story.

Chapter 14

"Nick… Listen up." Warrick suddenly said with a hint of authority in his voice. "Sara's fading fast. This is what we're going to do…"

Nick looked worriedly towards Sara's direction.

"Take a wine bottle… Use the wine to clean any wounds Sara has. It would hurt a lot, but it'll help with any infections."

"Ok, got it." Nick grabbed a bottle from the rack, holding it under his arm. He tore the cleanest part of his shirt and shoved the cloth into his pocket. "Anything else?"

Nick heard a sigh over the radio. "Nick… bring the heroin with you… You may have to use it."

"What?!" Nick said, not believing what he just heard. "Have you lost it Warrick? I can't give Sara heroin! It could kill her…"

"It could also save her life! Don't you see? She's in a lot of pain." Warrick's sudden outburst caught Nick off guard for a moment. "Heroin can be used as a painkiller. It acts like morphine… but you have to be careful not to overdose her."

"Warrick, he may have used the heroin on her before." Nick rubbed his eyes with his thumb and middle finger, trying to comprehend what Warrick was telling him to do. "There are about 4 empty syringes in the box."

Silence.

"Warrick, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah… yeah I did." A moment of static filled the room for a few seconds. "You have to ask Sara when was her last dose given… if she has develop a tolerance to the drug… you'll have to give her a higher dose."

Nick shook his head. " I don't think I can do this."

"She's suffering. That's the only thing we got to lessen her pain. If we wait for the vault doors to open, she might die from the pain by then." Warrick replied.

Nick didn't know what to say. He didn't have anything to say.

"Nick… I know it's hard. If you do give the heroin to her, an overdose is possible… Hell… she might even fall into a coma. But if you don't, she will go into shock. And given her condition and health… if she were to experience heroin withdrawal…...a sudden withdrawal can be fatal…" Warrick's sad and broken voice sounded over the radio on Nick's shoulder.

"You have to chose, Nick. Do what you think it right…"

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How am I supposed to choose, between 2 wrong choices?

"Hang in there, Sara. Be strong for me okay? I'm here for you. I'll keep you safe…"

Nick whispered gently into Sara's ear, still pondering over his decision. He did his best to treat some of her wounds with the medical supplies he brought with him but they weren't enough. He checked her breathing rate every few minutes, watching her, hurting to breathe. It pained him to see her this way.

"Sara? Sara, I know you're tired, but I need to ask you something, okay?" Nick tilted his head to the side to see if she had heard him. Sara opened her eyes slowly, tears balancing precariously on her lower eyelids. She didn't look at Nick but answered his question with a nod. One single, tired nod.

That was good enough for Nick. "I know it's going to be hard for you to talk, but I need you to tell me when was the last time you were given a dose."

Sara blinked slowly. "A… a dose?"

"A dose of heroin… one of these?" Nick took out a syringe from his pocket and placed it in her field of vision. "Do you remember when this was given to you?"

He felt his skin shift under his shirt as Sara turned her heavy head to get a better look at the object in his hand. "That…that, um… he gave me that when…when… uh…" She closed her eyes, thinking about it. "I got that…when he—he stabbed… no… when he burn… he burned Michele's face. After he burned…"

Sara started to break down, as the broken pieces of her memory pounded against her head. "Oh my gosh… I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry…"

Nick placed the syringe back into his pocket and looked up towards the direction of the door, where the light pooled onto the floor. A wooden chair that was bolted to the floor was centralised within the light. He hadn't noticed it before as he had his full attention on Sara the moment he entered the room. The chair was facing a burnt spot, evil and black as sin, a few steps away. His jaw dropped as he came to a conclusion.

Sara knew the burnt woman in the study, and she watched as he killed her.

It hurts to cry, but she couldn't help it. Nick held on to her sobbing form to comfort her but Sara had a tenuous hold on her emotion.

"Hey. Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about. It's not your fault. Do you hear me?" Nick took his eyes off the chair and towards her. "You did good, okay. Okay?"

Sara took a deep breath, trying to regain control of her emotion. Nick used the time to radio Warrick, asking him to do a missing person search on a "Michele", the name of their victim in the study. He also asked for her time of death.

"Are you serious? Sara knew our victim." Judging by his voice over the radio, Nick didn't really know if Warrick was upset, angry or both. He continued, "It's hard to say… given the cold temperature… but according to her liver temp, I'll have to say about 8 hours ago."

The effects of heroin tend to wear off after about 6 hours.

Nick was afraid of that. "Okay. Okay…Thanks Warrick."

"Nick…" The radio radiated with the concerned sound of Warrick's voice. "Let Sara know—… tell Sara to live so that she could look at that bastard in the eye and tell him to go to hell. Okay, Nick? Would you tell her that for me?"

"You can tell her that when we get out of here alive." Nick reassured Warrick.

He laughed nervously. "Of course. See you both later then."

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Nick looked at his watch. 20 minutes left. A lot could happen in 20 minutes. Its amazed him how simple minutes could drag extensively in situations like these. He took the syringe back out of his pocket hesitantly and gently expelled its air bubbles.

He had made his decision.

"Sara, I'm going to give you something for the pain okay? You're going to be all right." He said, heavy-laden over his deadly choice.

"Will it… will it be quick?" Sara said in her hoarse, broken voice. The desire to die still on her mind. "It'll be over… soon, soon I'll die. Oh god… this pain will…end."

"The pain will end." Nick encouraged her, hugging her close, slowing injecting the hurtful drug into her bloodstream. "But I need you to do something for me. I need you to live. I need you to fight for your life like I did when I was taken and put into a box. Could you do that?"

Her vacant eyes stared into nothing. "… I have been…. dying since we were taken. I wake… up at times so afraid…so terrified that I could…could not be that afraid while awake…" Tears slid down Sara's face as her brow drawn in pain. "It has taken its toll… I have come to…hate this life… this… system of things… I have come to have…no hope."

We?

A sob rose in his throat, but he forced it back, shutting his eyes tight to stop his tears. He had wanted to save her the moment he had known she was lost. He knew that there was a time when she had truly believed that he could protect her, even though she had pleaded for him to let her die. He felt horrible knowing that she thought he was with her all this while, suffering and hurt like her, when in reality, he wasn't.

Nick cleared his throat, thinking back on his own tragedies. "I know what it's like to wake up and wish you were dead. Your head throbbing as you live your life, knowing that you never wanted this. I know how it feels to want to give up, how it's like to feel afraid all the time. Like right now, I'm afraid of losing you. But I know that there is survival at the end of all of this. Even though you still feel awful, I know that there's a future, there's a hope. I don't know if you were watching but when I was in that box, I pointed the gun to my chin. At that moment I wanted to die... i just wanted to curl up and die, but you and the gang dug me out. I was saved. I guess I'm feeling sort of glad that I didn't kill myself that night."

Nick saw recognition flicker in her eyes, the memories forming like pieces on a jigsaw puzzle. Her body was in agony; she was dying. But the corner of her mouth twitched a little, almost a smile but not quite there yet.

He spoke to her again, encouraged by her response. "I'm sorry for the promises I made but didn't keep, like coming to protect you when you're in danger or afraid. I'm sorry for the moments when you felt alone in this place, thinking no one cares if you lived or died. I'm sorry that you're hurting this bad…that I wasn't there for you when you needed someone. Well… I'm here now. I'm right here."

The tears continued to slid down the sides of her nose, as the thought of his existence still an illusion in her mind. She was getting tired, making it hard for her to form a sentence. "You…can't be. You're dead… I wish…I wish you had never come… why do you… come now?"

"I came for you." He whispered, leaning closer still, her remarks burning a hole in his heart. "I promised to save you, remember? I just got lost along the way. Now I need you to help me keep my promise. Could you do that? I know it's hard, but I need you to try."

The drug was beginning to take its effect. Nick wasn't exactly sure if she could think rationally anymore, as the heroin dulled her mind and body. Her head lolled heavily onto his shoulder.

Her soul felt like it was being tugged on a string, her dying heart beating faster. She felt him close to her, holding her, her own angel of death. Knowing that comforted and scared her at the same time. Sara felt air rush into her lungs and a sickening pain twisted through her, making the world spin around her again. "Okay…" she began, the word catching in her throat, her chest heaving with the effort of trying to speak.

"The doors will open soon and we'll be rescued. I won't leave you; I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. I'll show you that it'll get better every day you stay alive…"

Sara didn't know whether it was a voice in her head or her saviour speaking, as pain, fear and anxiety dissipate. "Okay…" she replied, her smile was exquisitely sad as she looked at him, and a single lone tear sliding down his face, his lips mouthing, "I'm here for you."

He hugged her close as time slowed down. The feeling of being wrapped in God's warmest blanket consumed her, and the darkness overwhelmed her again…

TBC

Sometimes, that 's all people want to hear. That you'll be there for them...

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Till next time...