I just wanted to give my thanks to Emily, for her nice review on my last chapter! I really appreciated it, Emily, thank you! : )

So, here's a new chapter for you all! Enjoy~

oOo

To say that Lovino hated surprises was quite an understatement. He absolutely despised when unforeseen happenings crossed his path, and he was thrown into a state of semi-panic, searching desperately for the right way to handle the situation.

Most often, anger was his best friend when dealing with stress, surprises and – as in this particular situation – fear. Glancing from Feliciano, who had just gotten that idiotic happy smile that seemed to scream of "aha, brother, I saw you look happy, just admit it!" This particular variation was only a single one, out of his large vocabulary of idiotic, happy smiles. Lovino hated that particular smile, because it appeared so seldom, reminding him what a grumpy and depressing a person he was. It also had a nasty tendency of making him very self-conscious.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded, voice yet again two or three steps ahead of his panicked thoughts. The answer seemed obvious, however, as Ludwig appeared behind Feliciano. The German man looked quite awkward, as if he had walked in on something very private. Ludwig always was better at sensing the mood than Feliciano.

"We were just out walking," Feliciano smiled brightly, "I didn't know you would be here, fratello!" He practically skipped down to where Lovino and Antonio were seated, and Lovino glanced at his date. The cheerful and smiling face of the other, which had made his heart beat eagerly just moments ago, now made his heart drop like a stone into the base of his stomach.

"Hi!" Antonio greeted. "You must be Lovino's brother, right? I'm Antonio!" He held out his hand, and Feliciano practically beamed at him, taking the hand and shaking it vigorously.

"Yes, yes I'm Feliciano! It's very nice to meet you! It looks like you're having a great time, huh?"

Lovino could only stand there, stunned into silence, as Feliciano blabbered on about something or the other, while Antonio happily chatted along. His thoughts whirled around in a confusing chaos, as he tried to process what was going on. He couldn't remember ever mentioning anything about having a brother. And they didn't really look that much alike, did they?

Somehow, his ears seemed to have tuned out the conversation between the two, but he couldn't take his eyes away from them, as they spoke animatedly about something or the other. For some reason, they seemed to be entirely on the same frequency, each of their cheerful personalities complimenting the other...

"I knew fratello had been going out often lately, but he never said where! He always makes me so curious, being so secretive!" These words made sound return to Lovino, and he wanted to say something, anything, only to find that his throat had gone dry.

"He sure is," Antonio replied, nodding in agreement. "He never told me he had such a cute little brother, either!" Feliciano smiled softly at the compliment, saying something or the other that Lovino honestly couldn't hear. He had practically stopped breathing after that cursed sentence had left the Spaniard's lips, as if the innocent but painful words crushed his lungs with their weight.

His lips parted, but not a sound would come out, as he suddenly felt very lost and distant from them both. It was as if a river had suddenly cut through the landscape between them. Of course he should have known that it would go like this. It was the same every fucking time, after all. Feliciano was always the cute one, the one who could charm anyone without knowing it. He always got along so well with anyone, while Lovino could just as well have been a shadow at his feet.

Ludwig, as the observant person he was, was the first one to sense the tense atmosphere building up around Lovino, coughing quietly into his hand before speaking. "So you were having a picnic? Sorry, we must have disturbed you..."

Lovino would never admit that he actually felt something akin to gratitude at the German's considerate words. Though it also made him feel like a complete idiot for not being able to speak up and break the tense silence himself. No, all he was able to do was stand there and drown in his own fucking paranoia...

"Oh, no, no, not at all!" Antonio – the bastard – protested with a bright smile. "Right?" He turned to Lovino, but the smile faltered slightly upon noticing Lovino's expression. He and Feliciano glanced at each other, sharing a look of confusion and slight worry that something was wrong.

"No..." Lovino spoke, clearing his throat as his voice came out as something resembling a hoarse whisper, "you weren't disturbing, because we were just about to go home anyway." Turning abruptly, lest the pain in his chest would overpower the remaining shreds of willpower and pride, he strode over to the basket, all but throwing dishes and remaining food back into it.

"W-we were...?" Antonio's voiced confusion was promptly ignored, and after a moment of hesitation, he began to help with the cleaning up, looking as if he was trying to figure out where things had taken a dive in the wrong direction.

Of course Lovino knew that it was no wonder the Spaniard was confused. If he was to think logically, even he could see that Antonio was probably just being nice upon meeting Feliciano. Any normal and social person would do the same thing. Of course he knew that...

But if the many fears and issues Lovino had when it came to relationships could have been eased by a tiny, insecure voice of reason residing in the far back of his mind, he would have found peace ages ago. As it was, the only thing he'd come relatively at peace with was the fact that he was one messed up person, which didn't really help matters at all.

Gathering all the things he could carry, Lovino gave a curt nod in Ludwig's direction, as the German was the only person he could look at without falling apart completely. Then he strode up the path where he assumed they had arrived, struggling slightly with the items he was carrying, but struggling even more with his own turbulent emotions.

Antonio's voice could be heard behind him, sounding somewhat frantic. "It was very nice meeting you, Feliciano, oh and you too, um..."

"Ludwig."

"Nice to meet you too, Ludwig. Hey, Lovino, wait up!"

But Lovino didn't wait, marching away as best as he could while struggling with the picnic basket and the surf board he was carrying, trying to get as much distance between him and the others as soon as possible. He knew Antonio was following him, though it was a while before the other spoke.

"Lovi...!" They had to be out of hearing and sigh from the other two now, but Lovino didn't dare to stop. He didn't want Antonio to see his face at the moment, and he didn't want to explode with all these pent up emotions for no reasonable reason.

"Please wait... did I do something wrong?" A hand touched his shoulder, and Lovino stopped involuntarily, listening as Antonio continued to speak. "I don't know what happened, Lovino. Please... can't you tell me what's wrong?" The Spaniard didn't try to turn him around, nor did he force Lovino to answer. He didn't have to, as the tone of his voice was so gentle and pleading that it practically tore Lovino's defences in half.

"I... I... damn it..." Lovino could feel the tears burning in his eyes, wanting nothing more than to dig a hole in the ground and jump in just to be left alone with his ridiculous issues, never to pester anyone again. It would have been perfect – Antonio could have just gone to Feliciano, because no one remotely sane would bother digging up an unbalanced, moody and confusing wreck of an Italian, when they could just go befriend a charming, happy and smiling one instead.

"Lovi? Are you crying...?" Antonio sounded almost desperate, and now he did turn Lovino around to face him. Although the movement in itself was gentle, it wasn't that easy an manoeuvre when the surfing board caught in some bushes, and one handle of the picnic basket chose that exact moment to break, making it lose balance, and thus sending all the dishes and food toppling out.

Lovino's remaining anger evaporated, leaving him exposed and vulnerable, shivering where he stood, and crying pointless, embarrassing tears. He knew Antonio was staring at him, but didn't dare to meet his eyes. Instead, he kept his gaze locked on the ground at his feet, watching the droplets of tears drip onto the tips of his shoes. He swallowed heavily when he saw Antonio's feet move closer.

"Lovino... I know you're not going to like it, but I'm going to hug you." That was all the warning he got, and his eyes widened as he felt a pair of strong, warm arms embrace him, pulling him tightly to the well-toned chest of the Spaniard. In any normal situation, it would have made him gasp and attempt to run away. At the moment, however, he couldn't help but melt into the embrace, even though he couldn't bring himself to hug the other back.

Upon noticing how Lovino wasn't protesting, Antonio took to stroking his back soothingly, not saying anything, but simply holding him. Lovino could feel the tense muscles of his shoulders relax slowly but steadily. It wasn't logical at all, for him to be so calm, despite being faced with such close contact... Even so, he had to admit that it was a rather tranquil moment, and-

"Get a room, you two! Jesus, kids these days..." some elderly guy huffed as he strode past them, muttering about wasting good food, and destroying nature with garbage and indecent display of emotions.

Lovino tensed at first, brought out of his peaceful daze by the man's outburst, but after the initial shock had passed, a wave of something entirely unfamiliar washed up in his chest. A moment later, the bubbling feeling escaped his lips in the form of a snort.

"Jeez, way to ruin the moment..." he heard Antonio mutter, and that was the last straw. Before he could help it, he broke into a fit of unstoppable giggles, despite how he probably looked like a complete lunatic. Antonio, at first, looked bewildered, but then he joined in, and before long, they were both laughing so hard that it was hard to even stand up anymore.

Lovino couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed this much – he didn't normally laugh at all. He couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed, though. For some reason, despite his earlier semi-breakdown, nothing seemed to matter except for the fact that they were here right now, Antonio and Lovino, two ridiculous young men, laughing like a couple of children.

As they regained control over their laughter, Antonio smiled at him, and thankfully didn't ask any further about what had happened back on the beach. Instead, he simply led Lovino to where he'd parked the car he had apparently borrowed from a friend, leaving Lovino to wait for him as he ran back to fetch the rest of their things, which had promptly been forgotten on the beach.

Lovino eyed the Spaniard's back where he jogged back down the path, still feeling somewhat lightheaded from the earlier laughing fit. And for once, he was able to push away the voice in the back of his consciousness that tried to convince him that there was no way this was going to last...

The ride back to the house was quiet, and Lovino knew that the Spaniard wanted to ask what had happened. He was glad he didn't, though. Of course Antonio deserved an explanation for his bizarre behaviour, but at the moment, he wasn't too keen on explaining anything. He was tired, both physically and mentally. No, exhausted was more like it.

He was so sick of his own insecurities, and wished more than anything that he could be able to believe that little voice in the back of his head that tried telling him that it was ok to trust and hope.

"Turn right over there," he said quietly, and Antonio complied. Perhaps it should be seen as a step in the right direction that he was even allowing the Spaniard to find out where he lived. A rather large step, in fact, as Lovino wasn't too keen on letting anyone that close into his life.

"So this is where you live, huh? It's a pretty neighbourhood," Antonio smiled gently as he glanced around at the cosy-looking houses.

Lovino had to admit that it was indeed a pretty neighbourhood. He and Feliciano had moved there, to their grandfather's house after their parents passed away, and when he too died, they ended up inheriting the house. The rather small neighbourhood, located a bit outside the thick of the city, wasn't all grand and posh, nor was it for people living in great poverty. It was just an average neighbourhood, where families lived their peaceful lives. Where kids could play in the streets without their parents worrying too much. Where people actually cared about, and made an effort to get to know, their neighbours.

"Yeah, it is pretty..." he murmured in agreement, though he couldn't be sure if Antonio heard him or not. "It's the white house, over there."

Antonio pulled up in front of the gate in the wooden fence, smiling as he eyed the property. The house looked just as cosy as the rest of the neighbourhood houses, with a rather big, inviting garden – which was mostly Lovino's work, as gardening was one of the few things Feliciano wasn't all that good at.

"So this is your house, hm?" Antonio said softly, and Lovino nodded.

"It's nothing special, really," he said truthfully. It was an average house by most standards, but it had served as a home for years now, and thus it was special, at least to Feliciano and him.

"It's beautiful!" Antonio smiled,. "Really, I- Oh!" Out of the blue, he was practically leaning over Lovino's side of the car, as he caught sight of something. Lovino blinked at the sudden eagerness in the other's expression.

"You grow tomatoes!" the Spaniard exclaimed, and a light seemed to light up in his green eyes upon noticing.

"Y-yeah, what about it?"

"I love tomatoes! I always wanted to have my own tomato garden. My apartment makes that pretty impossible, though... You're so lucky!" Lovino blushed slightly at the beaming smile, opening the door to the car. He hesitated before stepping out, however.

"Um... thank you for today..."

"No, thank you for coming, Lovino! I had a great time!" Yet another beaming smile was sent his way, and Lovino felt quite humbled, actually, to be at the receiving end of such a smile. He nodded, about to step out, when a hand touched his arm softly. Glancing back, he had no time to protest, before a pair of lips were on his.

It was fleeting and quick, and far from romantic – in fact it was rather awkward and shy. But it still made blood rush to his cheeks, and he stared at Antonio, who was also quite red-cheeked. The immediate reaction was to curse at him for catching him off guard, but somehow, he felt perfectly calm.

"I... I'll see you around..." he murmured shyly, and a hesitant smile touched his lips as he hurried out of the car, shutting the door behind him and marching up the walkway to the porch, with as much dignity he could muster. It wasn't until he glanced back to see Antonio driving away, and eventually disappearing around a corner, that he dared to raise a hand to his lips, taking a deep breath.

His heart was fluttering in his chest like a flag tossed around in a storm, and he felt a lot like a school girl with a crush. There was little doubt. He was in love. Very much so. No point in denying the fact anymore, no matter how much he doubted that this could possibly have a happy ending...

Turning around again, he slowly headed inside, swallowing heavily as a more pressing matter forced away the brief moment of joy.

The scent of pizza met him as he stepped inside, and his previously thundering heart sank at this. He had hoped Feliciano wouldn't be home yet, so that he could have a bit of time to come up with a decent apology for his actions at the beach.

Closing the door behind him, he heard something clutter in the kitchen, and knew Feliciano had heard him, and was upset. Any other day, the youngest of the two would have appeared in the kitchen doorway, smiling brightly and welcoming him home. Whenever he was upset, however, he would rather wait in the kitchen, perhaps hoping that Lovino wouldn't come to eat at all.

Guilt ate at Lovino's insides, as he ran a hand through his unruly curls, matted with salt water and ruffled by the wind. Finally, he drew a breath, and walked into the kitchen, seeing his brother stand by the kitchen counter, rubbing at the surface with a dish rag. Feliciano didn't say anything, as Lovino stopped uncertainly right inside the doorway.

A moment of silence passed through the room before Lovino opened his mouth to apologize...

"I'm sorry, fratello!" he suddenly heard, as Feliciano beat him to it. The words died on his lips, and he faltered. Why was Feliciano apologizing? No, that wasn't right... He was the one who had been acting like an idiot, so why-

"I'm sorry for being such a bother." the youngest finally turned around, silent tears trickling down his cheeks as their eyes met. Lovino stared at him, shocked at this outcome. The guilt rose inside him, and suddenly he felt utterly weak and pathetic. It wasn't that rare for his brother to be crying, but the fact that he was crying over him, made something twist painfully in his gut.

"Don't apologize, Feli," he whispered hoarsely, "you have nothing to be sorry for."

"You're lying! You never blame me, never complain, but somehow I always end up making you sad..." Feliciano cut off, biting his lip. Lovino was shocked. He had never realized that his brother felt like this. He'd always tried to hide his pain around Feliciano, and he had thought he'd succeeded.

"Don't say that!" he exclaimed, with akin to horror, taking a step closer to the other before stopping again. "Don't ever say that it's your fault!"

"But it is! It's my fault that mom and dad never paid any attention to you! It's m-my fault grandpa didn't notice you! It's my fault that-"

"Shut up!" Lovino's cry cut him off sharply, and he felt a bit bad for raising his voice. Even so, he couldn't listen to his brother taking the blame for everything, when none of it was his fault. "Just, please... shut up..."

"But-"

"No! None of this is your fault, Feliciano! The only one who is to blame here is me! I was never as good as you, and I never will be, because I'm a... useless idiot, and always have been! It's perfectly understandable, isn't it? Who in their right mind would bother with me, when there are people who are so much better? So don't blame yourself, because it's me there's something wrong with!"

Feliciano's dish rag fell limply out of his hands, hitting the floor tiles with a quiet flop. He stared at Lovino, and Lovino felt panic rise in his throat. He'd never intended for his brother to find out these secret thoughts that tormented him. He'd never intended for Feliciano to know just how much of a walking inferiority complex he truly was.

The only thing that struck him, as he saw Feliciano pale, was that this was turning out to be the day for emotional breakdowns and breakthroughs, and he wasn't sure how many more of those he could handle…

oOo

Thanks for reading. I'd like to hear some thoughts, if you don't awfully mind~ ^^