I decided to post another chapter this week, as a Christmas present for you all ^^ Enjoy! Oh, and Merry Christmas!

oOo

He had meant to follow Antonio's advice and buy some flowers for Feliciano. However, the idea had gotten lost as they had been absorbed in a discussion on gardening, of all things. Of course, saying that he regretted not buying flowers would be a bit of a lie. It wasn't like he hated flowers... It was the language of flowers he didn't care much for.

In turn, he now entered their house, after standing fifteen minutes or so thinking of something to say. He felt terrible about last night – he'd upset his brother greatly. Of course, if it had been him, he'd be horrified to hear that his brother had such dark and sad thoughts too. Feliciano had taken it badly, somehow thinking that he was at fault for not noticing. Then he had grown angry, which didn't happen too often. Lovino assumed it was merely an alternative reaction of stress and hurt, and he didn't really blame him.

Despite the fact that his intentions had only been to protect his brother from his own depressing mind-set, he had somehow managed to forget the fact that Feliciano was no longer a little child that he had to protect from the harsh reality. Feliciano hated it when people hid things from him, "protecting" him. Lovino should have known. Should have trusted him more.

Still, trusting anyone at all – even his very own brother – wasn't quite as easy as it might sound. Not when he couldn't even trust himself.

Stepping inside, he listened closely, trying to locate his brother. Everything was silent, and there were no lights on either. Hesitantly making his way to the kitchen, he wasn't too surprised to see a note on the table. After that argument, he had expected as much.

Feliciano would spend some time at Ludwig's house, and he didn't know when he'd be back. That was all it said. No smiley face like he used to doddle in normally. No exclamation marks. No overly long and rambling sentences. Just a simple message.

Lovino sank down on a kitchen chair with a sigh, the previous joy from spending time with Antonio sinking into the pit of his stomach like a bundle of lead. Well, it was a good thing he didn't buy those flowers after all, then. Leaning back over the back of the chair, he let his eyes travel up and down the pattern of the ceiling, in a feeble attempt at focusing on something other than his own thoughts. Of course, the thoughts still forced their way into his mind, nagging at him.

As he tried to throw these thoughts away, a specific one suddenly struck him as odd, and he tensed a bit. Had Feliciano really been so angry and upset that he'd forgotten to lock the door? Sure, he could be quite careless, but he never forgot something that important. Despite the fact that it was a quiet, calm neighbour-hood, Lovino was very cautious about such things, and Feliciano knew this better than anyone.

Straightening from his slumped position, he glanced around the room. He couldn't help but feel strangely anxious, standing from his chair and feeling as though the air in the room had grown thick and heavy for no apparent reason. The next moment, however, he gave a shaky half-smile, trying to calm himself. It was probably just paranoia deriving from the lifeless atmosphere the house had when Feliciano wasn't there to make home-made pasta or play on his guitar. Feliciano was forgetful of nature; he had just forgotten the door when leaving, that was all. It could happen to anyone.

Sighing and shaking off his nerves, Lovino fetched a cup of coffee before making his way upstairs to his study to get some work done. Once up, something alerted his attention, however. The door to his room was open, and for some reason the light had been switched on. Surely he had turned it off that morning before going to work...? And Feliciano rarely entered his room when he wasn't home.

Swallowing, he walked over, trying to be braver than he felt. Once there, he hesitated for a moment, before pushing the door further open ever so slowly. His heart beat quickly, apparently having moved up into his throat... but there was nothing there. The room was as empty as it had been that morning, the only difference being the light.

Glancing around with a frown, he was about to turn off the light, when something made him freeze. On the bed, hardly noticeable and looking quite innocent was a flower. A tuberose to be exact, resting peacefully on his pillow.

Lovino's eyes flickered around, as his breath came in ragged, shallow gasps, close to hyperventilating. Backing away from the door to his bed room, until his back hit the wall at the opposite side of the hall way, he felt terribly vulnerable. He knew that flower and what it symbolized – it was thoroughly engraved into his memory.

"Oh God, no..." he breathed, looking around wildly, expecting him to be there, somewhere, watching and calculating with those dark eyes of his. He had been so sure that he'd never have to see that man again. Had been so sure that he was rid of him for good.

"Hello...?" he called out to the silent house, not sure what he expected really. Silence was the only answer he got, and there were no signs of anyone being in the building apart from himself. He stood there for a long time, losing track of time as he focused on just listening intently, as if expecting an attack out of thin air. When his phone began ringing where it was buried in his pocket, he let out a strangled cry, positive that he'd just had a minor heart attack.

Fishing out the cell phone with fingers that were shaking so badly that he nearly dropped the device, he looked at the caller-ID, letting out the breath he hadn't been aware that he'd been holding. Pushing the call button and holding the phone to his ear, he cleared his throat.

"H-hello?" Damn, he'd tried so hard not to stutter.

"Lovino? Am I interrupting?" Alfred's ever-cheerful voice sounded more welcome than anything at the moment, and Lovino relaxed despite himself, as if that voice held some sort of magic charm.

"N-no, not at all! I... I just came home," he said, and knew that he definitely shouldn't be sounding so happy to hear from the American. It wasn't like him to be so open, usually he'd have his professional mask on the moment he saw who was calling.

"Dude, you ok?" Apparently, Alfred was a bit surprised by this change of character as well, sounding a bit confused at the other end of the line.

"Of course I am, why?" Crap, he didn't mean for that to come out so defensive. Any intelligent person would know that defensiveness was an evident proof of a lie.

"Well, you sound kind of shaken," came the easy reply, and Alfred actually sounded worried. Well, wasn't that nice of him, caring for the man who'd only given him sarcasm, irritation and cold stares ever since they met. Well, except perhaps for a few of the moments where he almost felt he could trust the other as a friend.

"No, I'm fine, really. So, uh... why are you calling?" As he had his doubts that the obvious change of subject would work, he was relieved when the other didn't question him further. As it turned out, Alfred had just called because of some questions about work-related stuff. It proved to be the distraction Lovino needed to calm down a bit, and gave him the courage to enter his bed room and throw the hated flower in the garbage bin, along with its symbolization; a promise of something dangerous heading his way.

While talking to Alfred, he checked the remaining rooms on the second floor, and then on the first floor, finding the house to be blissfully empty. Perhaps it was just a coincidence. Perhaps everything would be all right after all.

"Thanks a bunch, man, those papers really bothered me," Alfred said gratefully, just as Lovino locked the front door securely and was able to feel a slight sense of peace again.

"Nessun problema, Alfred," In his mind, he was thanking the other as well, though he didn't voice his gratitude due to the fact that the other would have no idea why he was being thanked. There was a pause, but then Alfred spoke again.

"Seriously, dude... you're freaking me out a bit here. You're both using my first name, and switching back to Italian from time to time... you only do that when you're stressed out." Lovino was a bit taken aback by the fact that Alfred had noticed such a detail about his personality.

"I'm just a bit tired," he countered the concern, not wanting to cause anyone to worry needlessly. "I'll be fine."

"If you say so..." another pause, before the American spoke again, clearly a bit embarrassed but at the same time sincere. "You know... you can just call me again if something's bothering you, ok?" Lovino wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, feeling oddly touched at the sentiment.

"I... I appreciate that, Alfred..." he managed to get out after a while, rather awkwardly. Honestly, he wasn't used to such signs of friendship, and thus wasn't sure what would be the proper response. That's why he figured honesty was his safest bet.

"Ok. I guess I'll see you later, then!" he could hear the smile in the other's voice. "Bye, Lovino!"

"Yes... ciao."

And when he hung up, despite the fact that the house was still eerily silent, he didn't feel quite as anxious as before, as he once again headed upstairs to start doing some work to get his mind of things.

oOo

Days passed without anything significant happening, and Lovino managed to push the fear into the back of his consciousness, even if he couldn't rid himself of it completely. Feliciano still hadn't come home, although he had given a brief call just to say that he was all right. Lovino had been unable to say much at the time, and the apology had died on his lips when the other hung up again. Feliciano had sounded like it really tore him up inside to do this. It was obviously something he felt he had to do, though. Lovino could understand, somewhat.

That didn't make it easier to bear, though. His brother's attitude hurt him. The two of them had always been close, and while they often bantered and argued, they cared a lot about each other. Lovino loved his brother like no other. For that reason, he was ashamed to say that he was also afraid because of him. Afraid of him. Gradually after his brother had been born, when he was around three years old, his parents began favouring their youngest child. Of course it had confused and hurt Lovino deeply when his own parents, who had loved him so much, suddenly began loving someone else more. That his own parents began comparing him to someone he could never compete with.

He supposed that's when he became a "trouble child". No matter what he did, it never seemed to be enough, and so he gave up in a sense. When he couldn't get their attention and affection by doing small kind things like picking flowers for his mother, or polishing his father's shoes, he began doing bad things. He "accidentally" destroyed vases, refused to do chores and even picked up on the swear words of the older kids in the neighbourhood.

Yet, it only served to earn him cold looks, punishments, and nasty arguments with both parents. He began feeling like his they had abandoned him in favour of his younger brother, who was always the sweet and cute one. Fuelled by his futile attempts at mending things, that pain in turn changed into anger and distrust, and ended in tragedy...

"Hey, what's up?" Lovino startled out of his thoughts, glancing at Antonio. They had decided to go surfing again, as Lovino had found that the hobby was something he could easily come to love. He also needed the distraction, as the solitude at the house when he wasn't working was making it far too easy to slip into old habits of melancholy and depression. Antonio had been overjoyed when Lovino suggested surfing, apparently surprised but happy that Lovino made the first move for once.

"Oh... I just remembered something I'd rather not think about," Lovino sighed in response, grabbing the surf board after adjusting his wet suit and heading for the waves. Antonio nodded in understanding, following him.

"Well, nothing like the waves under the board and some sea water in your hair to forget about your worries and troubles," the Spaniard smiled, and Lovino nodded in agreement. The activity really did make a splendid medicine against depressing thoughts.

It was a very nice day, though a little chilly due to the winds, and the clouds that was hiding the sun from view most of the time. The crisp air served as a reminder of the colder and darker season that was rapidly approaching. Lovino wasn't all that fond of autumn and winter, finding that the dark of the seasons easily brought out dark thoughts. On the other hand, the fact that autumn was creeping closer with every passing day, also meant that he and Antonio had been dating for some time now. This meant that their relationship was gradually turning into something that couldn't just be called a "passing flirt".

But he didn't suggest this trip to think, but to just relax and try to have fun. At the moment, he was feeling calmer than he had in days, paddling a bit further away from the beach. Sure, his skills at the board were still rather weak, but he was getting the hang of it, and enjoyed the tingling sensation in his stomach when a wave rushed him forward. If he could fly, he imagined it would feel somewhat like this.

Part of the fun in going surfing with Antonio, was admittedly to watch the Spaniard surf the waves easily, as if he'd been born on a surf board. The well-toned body easily swayed in perfect balance with the water's movement, and the look of absolute joy and relaxation on his face was priceless. It was also contagious, and Lovino soon found himself smiling as well, forgetting all worries and problems, just like Antonio had predicted.

And the attention he got was wonderful. Antonio always kept an eye out for him, giving him small hints and helping guiding to improve his surfing skills, and asking if he was all right when a particularly nasty fall made him come up spluttering and coughing. He loathed admitting it, but the affection in those green eyes made him feel extremely thankful, though to whom he didn't know.

"You're really getting the hang of this, Lovi!" Antonio called. "You look super elegant!" he blew a kiss from where he was resting on his board a bit away, and Lovino blushed heavily, losing his balance as the words distracted him from his concentration. With a gasp, he toppled sideward and felt salty sea water surround him. It wouldn't have been so bad, if the fall hadn't knocked out his breath, leaving him momentarily confused and partially panicked.

Locating the surface, he made his way over to it, only to have a new wave crash on top of him, yet again pushing him under and rolling him around like a rag doll. Glancing around wildly, he could see his surfing board, by following the string attached to his ankle, swimming towards it and coming up coughing harshly, sucking in sweet air.

It was only now that he realized he had drifted a lot further out from land that he had intended, and Antonio looked so far away. He could still see the worried expression on his face, however.

"You ok?" he heard him shout, and cleared his throat to gather his voice again.

"Yeah!" he called back, despite the slight fear he felt at being this far out. He was by no means afraid of water, and trusted in his own swimming abilities, but even he knew the dangers of the luring sea, and did have a healthy dose of respect for it.

Frowning ever so slightly, he analyzed the waves, moving his board to catch the streams moving towards the beach. Swimming against the waves would be foolish, after all, and he liked to think he wasn't a fool. Noticing a particularly large wave, he swallowed worriedly, but even so moved determinedly to stand on his board, just as the wave grabbed hold of it.

Using all the skills he had learned, and all the steel-control he had on his emotions, he nearly held his breath as he was carried closer to the beach. It was a thrilling experience, and suddenly he felt completely in tune with the sea, as if he was part of the blue masses. Unable to help himself, he felt his face crack into a large, sincere grin, as he was washed up on the sea, tripping and falling into the mushy sand.

"Shit, Lovi...!" Antonio was next to him in a hurry, pale and clearly worried. His expression turned to bewilderment, however, when Lovino laughed. "Are you all right? That was one huge wave...!"

"Actually, I don't think I've been this good for a long time...!" Lovino exclaimed, and he meant it. Despite the fear and the very real danger of being swept off by some current out to the open sea, and despite the fact that he'd just ridden a wave that by any means should have been too big for him to handle, he felt amazing.

"Jeez... don't scare me like that," Antonio plopped into the sand beside him, with a shaky smile. Then a strange expression crossed his eyes. "I have to admit, though... you looked really hot riding that wave." A smirk crossed his features, and Lovino met his gaze, unfamiliar emotions pooling in the pit of his stomach like a small fire of sorts.

When Antonio leaned forward, he didn't know what came over him, but he leaned into the approaching contact, letting their lips meet. It wasn't like the other brief, chaste kisses they had shared until now. This time it was slow, deliberate. Antonio's tongue brushed against his lips, and they parted easily to let the Spaniard deepen the kiss. It was a bit clumsy at first, but they soon got more into it, and the uncertainty eventually faded away.

Time seemed to stand still and he hardly noticed that his hands were in Antonio's hair, and the Spaniard's hands were on his face, caressing softly as Lovino's eyes shut and he allowed himself to get lost in the firework of warmth exploding through his body. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt, and he just wanted to be as close to the other as he physically could. There was something safe and secure about the Spaniard's strong yet gentle hands as they moved across his face, neck and body, hesitant, but at the same time eager.

When they broke apart, Antonio was blushing in an adorable way, and Lovino felt rather warm himself. This certainly was nothing like the earlier kisses, and it was something new and scary, yet exhilarating at the same time. It felt like it was something forbidden, and dear God, he wanted more of it.

"Wow..." Antonio breathed, eyes slightly glazed over as he licked his lips subconsciously. He looked absolutely gorgeous at the moment, and Lovino knew he really should be more careful. His determination to hide behind his masks was rapidly faltering, however. This green-eyed man was pulling him out of his protective, isolated world, and seemed to be doing it without any efforts at all.

With an unexpected bout of courage he wasn't aware he had, he leaned forward, capturing the Spaniard's lips again, and the other man wasn't slow to respond. Before long, they were both utterly lost in the moment, and Lovino successfully pushed all fear and hesitation away, if only for a short while.

As it turned out, surfing wasn't the only thing to help get his mind of his worries, and he found that if he had to pick either of the two options, he had no doubts as to what he would choose.

oOo

I hope you liked it! I'd be really happy to hear what you thought of it! ^^

Nessun problema – No problem (Italian)