I know now

Just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart

In your mind

I'll stay with you for all of time

-Wherever You Will Go; The Calling

CHAPTER 9

SCORPIUS MALFOY

After the ball it seemed everyone thought Rose and I were dating. That didn't surprise me; after all we had been dancing – and kissing – in plain view. What surprised me was how much it didn't bother me. I shrugged it off. If someone asked me directly if we were going out, I said no because we weren't. We just sort of acted like it, even in public. Rose and I never talked about it, but I know she said no too. It also surprised me how much it didn't bother her either. I thought it would've seeing as Albus and Dominique were already not talking to her, and I knew she wanted them back. She seemed as though she had fully given up on them. I didn't complain, of course; I never liked either of them. But seeing Rose's face everytime she caught sight of one of them, it made my heart break as much as I knew it broke hers. She never said anything, though. She just brushed it off like it meant nothing to her. I admired that, the way she was strong enough not to get caught up in her cousins' pettiness, but it also saddened me. She was burying her emotions, pushing down her feelings of hurt and abandonment, so she could put on a good face. I hated knowing she was in pain, but there was nothing I could do. I hated the helplessness of that too. I couldn't help her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. So instead I just tried to be there for her. I wanted to prove to her that she could trust me, because I knew she wasn't entirely there yet. She'd never said anything, but I could see it in her eyes. Those eyes that I loved so much.

DADA became my new favourite lesson. Rose used to sit with Dominique, but she could hardly do that now, so she sat with me and Adrian. They got along really well, and I took credit for part of that. The other part was, of course, Lily. They both loved her and cared about her, and Rose understood that he loved her, and knew he was a good match for Lily. They'd developed a good friendship because of it, and when we were all together I couldn't believe just last year they were enemies. Well, me and her more than him and her, but me and Adrian came as sort of a package deal so there was inevitable animosity between them before. Now they laughed together like they'd been friends since childhood, and there was a certain something behind both of their eyes, something that said that they regarded each other like siblings. I felt smugly responsible for that, although I did have to hand out some credit to Little Potter.

Usually in DADA, Adrian and I slacked off, knowing that we were good anyway. We could both easily scrape 'Outstandings' in our NEWTs, just as we had done for our OWLs. But Rose forced us to actually do work, which lead us to make cracks about her geekiness. She knew we were joking though, and she joined in, and I was happy that she didn't take it personally. I knew some girls who would automatically go defensive, but Rose had a good sense of humour and nearly always wore a big grin that lit up her delicate features. There was no hiding how her face fell when she saw Albus though. I could tell that's who she missed the most. I didn't question it, because it made sense to me. Dominique had been her best friend, but had also punched her. Not to mention she was a stuck up whore, but that was just my opinion. I knew she was closer to Albus anyway, that definitely made sense to me because I knew she saw Albus more often and could confide in him with stuff that she couldn't tell Dominique. He didn't judge her. At least, he didn't use to.

I was thinking about all this when Adrian nudged me, signalling the end of class and therefore the end of the day. I'd been lost in thought most of the lesson so Rose was looking at me reproachfully. I laughed and took hold of her hand, lacing her fingers through mine. She smiled and squeezed my hand, but then I saw her face fall. I followed her gaze and saw Albus. He wasn't looking our way when I looked but I knew he just had. He walked out the room, throwing us a dirty look.

That did it.

As we walked out of the classroom I gave Rose a quick kiss and said, "You know what, I'll catch you up." She gave me a puzzled look, but turned and went anyway, and I followed the direction I knew Albus was going in. Finally, I caught a glimpse of his dark hair. "Potter!" I shouted, and he froze. He knew my voice well, and he slowly turned. He'd given me time to catch up to him, and when I did I saw his lip curl.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" He sneered. I resisted the urge to punch him – and believe me that took a lot of restraint. It seemed to show because he wore a slightly amused expression on his face.

"I want you to talk to Rose." I spoke as calmly as I could around someone I had a distinct hatred for.

"That's it?" He almost looked surprised, and then his eyes narrowed. "Why should I?"

"Because you're being stupid." He opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off. "Look, Albus, I know we aren't friends. Wasn't that just the understatement of the year? What I mean is..." I searched around for the words. "I know you don't like me, and I don't particularly like you either, but Rose needs you. She's trying to put on a good face and pretend like she doesn't but I know she does. She misses you. This thing with you and her, it's petty. It's petty and stupid and it's taking its toll on her. She needs her friends. And she needs her family. Believe me; if I could help it I wouldn't be saying this to you. But I don't like to see her the way she is. She's all smiles on the outside but you can see the hurt in her eyes. She's got Lily, and that's good for her, but she needs you back." I'd started to ramble and I was aware of it, but it seemed the message had got through. Albus studied me thoughtfully, and for a few agonising moments he didn't speak. I longed for him to say something, which was odd because I was used to wanting him to shut the hell up. Finally, after what seemed like a year, he spoke.

"You really care about her, don't you?"

"I… what?" I was completely caught off guard; I hadn't expected that at all. I'd expected a no, or a punch, but not that.

"You really care about her, don't you?" He repeated, with the air of someone talking to a child. I pushed my annoyance aside.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

"Do you love her?" My figuring was he'd asked this question more out of curiosity than anything else. What shocked me the most, though, was how ready I was to answer the question.

"Yes." I said, and Albus laughed. It wasn't the harsh laugh I usually got, but it was genuine. That made me more confused than ever.

"A Malfoy in love with a Weasley. It's almost poetic." He grinned, not at me but more to himself if anything. "She loves you too, you know. I've seen the way she looks at you and, even though it makes me what to throw up, I think you're, er, good for her or whatever." I could see the pain it brought him to say that last sentence and I almost laughed. I didn't though. I needed him to have a good impression of mine and Rose's relationship so he would tell Dominique to fuck off. And if he did, he'd probably use those words anyway.

"You know, if you weren't such an ass, we probably would've been friends." I said, laughing. Then I stopped myself; it felt wrong to be saying that, and even more wrong to be laughing with him, but the fact was, it was true.

"You know, sometimes I think the exact same thing."

XXXXX

I was all packed and ready for going back home for the Christmas holidays when I heard a tapping on my window. I looked around to see an owl there, a small note attached to her leg. I opened the window to let her in and she flew inside. She stuck out her leg for me, and I untied the note. I unfolded the parchment, and immediately smiled because I knew the handwriting. I smelled her sweet perfume on the parchment. It was intoxicating.

"Scorpius. Meet me in the library at eleven. –R"

So, when it turned eleven I met her in the library. I couldn't help but think our usual meet up spot wasn't exactly romantic, and that we could probably go somewhere more exciting, but it was perfect for us. It was… familiar, and it made her happy. Plus it wasn't locked at night which made it very easy to get into. She was already there when I showed up, sitting on one of the seating areas at the back, and she stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck when I was close enough.

"I was beginning to think you weren't coming."

"Ah, Rose. My beautiful red Rose. Why would I ever pass up a chance to see you?" She smiled at me calling her that, and brought her lips to mine in a tender embrace. It started off gentle and then it intensified as she pushed me against the wall, our lips never ungluing. She lowered her arm to my back, digging her nails in, and I ran my fingers through her hair. I turned us around, instead pushing her against the wall. My mouth left hers and made their way from her lips down her neck, to her collarbone, and then back up to her lips. She let out a soft moan of pleasure and then reached her hand up my shirt. I picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and holding her to the wall again. I would've happily stayed there kissing her for hours. I felt her try and take off my shirt and that's when I stopped. I let go of her, stepping back. I wouldn't do that to her. Not now. Not here. She looked shocked, and she bit her lip.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice small. I hated hearing her like that; it pained me to hear her sound so hurt, especially because that's even in the slightest what I wanted to do.

"I won't do that to you, Rose. Not now, anyway." She looked like I'd slapped her. I reached out to comfort her but she moved away. I felt a weight drop in my stomach; the last thing I'd wanted to do was upset her, and now I had.

"Why not? I thought you liked me like that…" Her voice was still small, and she looked like she was about to cry.

"I do, Rose."

"No you don't, if you did you would do that with me. I want you Scorpius. All I want is you."

"I want you too, Rose, you have no idea how hard this is for me to do. But I won't do that to you know."

"Why not?" She sounded more distressed now, her voice flaring angrily. I mentally kicked myself because I'd made her angry. I'd done that. I didn't want her to be mad at me again.

"Because I don't want to ruin this!" I shouted, realising I'd yelled only after I registered the look on her face. I lowered my voice, "Rose, I love what we have. I don't even know what it is we have, but I love it. And I love... being with you. If we do that, it'll just ruin it. I don't want that. Just please, please don't be mad at me."

"I don't want that either. I really like you, Scorpius."

"I like you too." I smiled at her, and she pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm almost sad that I'm not going to see you for weeks. And that never happens." I grinned and she kissed me through my smile. "I guess for you I'll make an exception." My hand found hers and our fingers laced together as I walked her to her common room. She looked hungrily into my face, as if she was afraid she wouldn't see me again. The fact was it was true, to some degree at least; I wouldn't see her for a few weeks because of the holidays. She was going back to her family and I was going back to mine. I'd been looking forward to seeing my parents, I always did when it was time to go home for Christmas, but suddenly I dreaded it. The next day I'd be heading on a train to King's Cross and I'd meet up with my mother and father, and I wanted to stall it. I wanted to save these precious hours of darkness for when the daylight came we'd both be leaving. I didn't want to be away from my Rose.

"I bet you miss me already." Rose teased, unaware that she had just voiced my thoughts. I led her to her common room, and as she went to go inside she paused, hovering for a moment. She turned and said, "Albus spoke to me. He said he was sorry." I felt increasingly smug, seeing as I was the one who brought that around. I didn't let my face show that, though.

"Well, what do you know? Potter's got some sense." I said in mock thoughtfulness, and she playfully punched my arm. Then she stood on her tip-toes and gave me a quick kiss.

"Thankyou." She said quietly, and then she climbed through the portrait hole. The last thing I saw before the portrait swung shut was her strawberry-scented red hair.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I know I'm posting this chapter like a day after the eighth, but I couldn't help it! I actually really need to go to bed now, I've got school tomorrow and I actually need to get there on time...

But anyway, I know this chapter seems a bit short compared to the last one, but I wanted to tie up a few ends before they left for the holidays. The story isn't over yet, sorry guys, but it might be soon. I know i'm going to have a tenth, eleventh and a twelfth, but I don't know about a thirteenth. We'll see, eh?

**REPOSTED** sort of, anyway. I changed the ending of this chapter because I'd forgotten I'd done it and I preferred how I did it in the other one. Sorry!

thanks guys!

beccasophX