I just wanted to give a quick shout-out to asdfghjkl for the anonymous review! Thank you so much, it really made my day! :D

So, on to the story~ Enjoy! ^^

oOo

Antonio wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do, struggling with conflicting emotions. Questions of all sorts buzzed around his mind like a swarm of angry bees, and he ached to get a name, or better yet; a face to beat to a pulp. Dear God, he wanted so badly to ask Lovino who did this to him, and why.

How could he ask questions, though, when Lovino was sick and in pain both physically and mentally? Even more so than before, the Italian looked thin and pale where he lay on the hospital bed, hooked up to IV-drips and other... stuff that Antonio didn't really know what was for. The doctors had said that it would be best to keep him there until he recovered, due to the stress he suffered along with his sickness. Apparently, he'd been damn near getting pneumonia, luckily escaping with a bad case of cold. Although, his fever had reached an almost frightening level at one point.

Antonio had hardly left his side since he was admitted. The nurses had tried kicking him out whenever visiting hours would end, but he refused to go home and had even threatened that he would lie down outside in the cold to sleep if they didn't let him stay. As a result, he was promptly signed off as "an exception to the rule", and was allowed to stay. He suspected that their refusal to adding an extra bed in the room was an attempt at making him take a hint and go home, though. It was pointless, of course, as sleep was the last thing on his mind. The arm chair in the room worked perfectly when he desperately needed some shut eye, and he'd pulled it up close to the bed, so he could be as close to his boyfriend as possible even when sleeping. Some nurses called it sweet and romantic, others snorted and called it ridiculous. Antonio couldn't care less what they thought or said.

The only time he'd left – except to get some food or to take a shower, was to call Feliciano as soon as a receptionist at the hospital had tracked his number. Antonio had wanted to be the one to deliver the news, but in the end, he'd probably sounded a lot more serious and pained than needed, and Feliciano had jumped to the conclusion that his brother was dying or something. The youngest of the Italian brothers had panicked, muttering wildly in his native language, until Ludwig had come to see what the commotion was about, and greeted Antonio with evident concern.

He'd delivered the news, and had heard Ludwig murmuring to Feliciano that Lovino would be fine. The German's voice, as strong and serious it had been when responding to Antonio's words, was soft and warm when addressing Feliciano.

Within half an hour, they were there, and had taken to sitting with Antonio in Lovino's room, waiting for him to show any signs of recovery, or waking up. It had taken three long days of fever-induced nightmares, anxiousness and worry before he finally opened his eyes. It was probably the longest three days Antonio had ever experienced.

After he woke up, Lovino seemed to recover well. Well... physically at least. He was still tired and pale, as well as jumpy and easily startled. Feliciano had tried getting him to tell him what was going on, but Lovino had refused to say a word. The younger kept asking, however, clearly growing more and more wary and frustrated when Lovino kept his lips tightly sealed. Of course, either of them were bound to snap eventually – both of them were stubborn, but both of them were also expressive Italians. To just stand on the sideline and watching the conflict unfold before his eyes, with no idea what to say, wasn't easy, however...

"Why do you always do this?" Feliciano was standing by the bed, fists clenched at his side, and eyebrows drawn together. Lovino only stared back at him for a moment, before sighing heavily, looking at his lap.

"I..."

"Don't say it! Don't say that you can 'deal with it alone'! Don't say that I 'don't have to worry'! Don't say that you just want to 'protect me'! I don't want to hear it!"

"Is it so wrong to want to protect my own brother?" Lovino's voice was quiet but holding a definite trace of desperation, as he finally looked up at his fuming brother.

"I'm not a child anymore that you have to protect, fratello!"

"I know you're not a child, but this... I don't want you involved in this!"

"But what is "this"? Dear God, Fratello, you're in a hospital, for crying out loud, and you won't even tell me what happened! Who did this to you?"

At a loss of what to do, Antonio could only stare at the scene. Should he stop the argument before either of them were hurt? Or should he let them sort it out on their own? What did he know about siblings' fights, anyway – it might be impossible to stop them at any rate. With that conclusion, he simply stood aside, tense and waiting to see what the outcome would be. It was like watching those bull rodeos he remembered from his home in Spain – you never knew what would happen, and who would end up stabbed by the sharp horns, or trampled by thundering hooves.

He didn't expect the unexpected twist to come by the form of a knock at the door, however, and a nurse entering hesitantly, carrying a small bouquet of flowers. Roses, to be exact. Black roses.

Antonio felt his blood run cold, and everything was as silent as death, until everyone reacted at the same time. He shot to his feet, puzzle pieces falling into place and making it painfully obvious who the enemy was. Feliciano gasped, eyes widening as he muttered something that sounded like "so it was him... it was him who hurt you before! And now he's... he's back...!"

Lovino's reaction, however, had both of them stunned. With a scream, he was out of the bed, tearing off every tube and needle connected to his body. In a few, long strides, he reached the startled nurse, tearing the flowers out of her hands and darting over to the window, opening it and throwing them as far as he could with another cry.

Then he was over at the nurse's side again, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. "Where is he? The man who delivered those! Tell me!"

Antonio had never heard him this panicked before, and clearly he had the nurse shocked too, as she looked like she was going to faint at meeting such chaos upon entering the room, quite innocently, with the flowers. Little did she know that the black roses symbolized death.

"W-what? Sir, please calm down...! He left soon after d-delivering them."

Lovino stared at her for a moment, before suddenly doubling over, falling to his knees and coughing violently, wheezing for breath as his condition caught up with him.

"Lovi!" Antonio shook out of his state of paralysis, running hastily over to Lovino, kneeling beside him and tossing a quick, meaningful look at the nurse who nodded, running off to fetch a doctor.

"Oh God... Antonio, I can't do this..." Lovino was sobbing now, in between shaky gulps for air, as he turned to give the Spaniard a look that made him pull the Italian into his arms, never wanting to let him out of his hold again. "I can't deal with this! N-not again!"

Antonio only held him, rocking his boyfriend gently as he sobbed. So he'd gotten the answer at last, although not in the way he had expected at all, and definitely not in a way he would have hoped for. Glancing at Feliciano, who was still standing by the bed, as pale as snow and staring at the still open window, he could tell that the young man was far lost in his own thoughts.

Suddenly it all made sense. The orange lily had been a warning for him to stay away from Lovino. For some reason, that man had hurt Lovino badly in the past – he couldn't even begin to imagine how badly for Lovino to be this afraid – and was now back to claim Lovino as his. He should have seen the warning signs earlier... should have come to the conclusion before the man managed to lay his filthy hands on his boyfriend.

But it was Feliciano who spoke the words on his mind, voice thick with emotions. "I should have known... I should have seen that he was lying before..." His honey-coloured eyes darkened, as tears began running down his cheeks. "How could I not notice what was going on?"

"Because keeping you in the dark was the only way I could protect you..." Antonio looked down at the man in his arms, slightly surprised that the shaken Italian was able to speak at all, and saw that his eyes held nothing but utter love and determination as he looked over at where Feliciano was standing. "And whether you like it or not... I'd do anything to protect you..." With those words, his eyes drifted shut and he fell limp in Antonio's arms.

When the doctor arrived, he could conclude that Lovino was simply exhausted from the ordeal, and would wake up when he'd slept it off. After receiving a brief explanation from Antonio, he then officially banned any flowers from being delivered to the room unless they were delivered in person by someone Lovino knew and trusted.

After he left again, Antonio and Feliciano sat in absolute silence, at either side of the bed. No wonder Ludwig looked like he'd entered the room of someone who was dying, pausing after he shut the door quietly behind him. The blonde German was an observant man, however, and said nothing, only walking over to Feliciano, who hadn't said a word since Lovino last spoke, and putting a hand mildly on his shoulder. There was little doubt that the young Italian had done his best to be brave, but now his resolve crumpled, and he stood, collapsing into Ludwig's embrace.

Antonio supposed that more answers would have to wait, only giving a nod and a weak smile when Ludwig glanced at him, silently asking if he'd be all right on his own in there. Ludwig then led the other out of the room, only pausing slightly to put a comforting hand on Antonio's shoulder as well. While Ludwig was the same age as Feliciano – from what Gilbert had told him –, and stayed mostly silent unless he had some sort of level-headed comment to give, the young man had been a great support the last few days. A steady presence was exactly what both Antonio and Feliciano needed. He'd have to find a way to thank him some day.

Glancing from the door, back to Lovino, he was a bit startled when he met with a pair of golden eyes.

"You're awake..." he murmured, taking his boyfriend's hand and holding it gently between his own.

"Been awake for a while," Lovino admitted quietly. "I'm afraid to sleep. I just keep thinking he'll be there when I wake up." The Italian gave a small sigh, his gaze shifting to rest on the ceiling instead of Antonio.

"Lovino... Do you want to tell me about this?"

Golden eyes flickered to meet his again, and Lovino bit his lip slightly. "I'm not used to talking about it. I... I guess I can try." He paused, glancing at Antonio for a moment. "But only if you promise you won't do anything stupid."

Antonio wasn't entirely sure what the other considered to be something stupid, but nodded nonetheless, deciding he would try his best to stay composed. "I promise."

Lovino sighed, letting his eyes drift to the ceiling once again as he slowly began to speak. "He's name is Sadiq. Sadiq Adnan, from Turkey. I met him a few years ago. I'd just been dumped by this guy who I'd gone out with for a while, and was feeling angry and hurt. Sadiq was charming, and I needed comfort... Before I even knew it, I was blindly in love, and couldn't see that he didn't consider me to be anything but a toy for him to play with."

His hand clutched Antonio's as he spoke softly, eyes clearly not seeing the ceiling they were directed at, being glazed over with memories.

"After a while, he began saying things to me... things that I already feared. He could name every single one of my worst fears, as if he had seen into my head and heart, and by doing that, he... confirmed them. I grew anxious, and although I tried to tell myself that his words were all lies, they seemed so real. After a while, I attempted to confront him with it, to leave him for good, but he... he got angry..."

A hitch to his voice told Antonio that anger was a dangerous emotion for the tall Turk, and he swallowed, bracing himself for the rest of the story.

"He started h-hitting me... Only light slaps at first, but they stung badly. When I tried to get away, however, he-" he paused, closing his eyes as his brows furrowed at the painful memory.

"Shh, it's okay, Lovi... take your time," Antonio whispered soothingly. One part of him felt a bit bad for making the other relive this, but another part knew that talking about it was the first step towards healing, and it was clear that Lovino hadn't taken this step before.

"He grabbed me by the neck, and... forced me to the floor. I couldn't breathe, and he looked so utterly insane...! I thought for sure that he would kill me. But he let go again, suddenly starting to... r-rip off my clothes..." Tears trickled down his pale cheeks, and Antonio felt cold dread clutching at his heart.

"That monster... raped you?" he gasped out. This was something he had feared, of course, but even so, he had been unable to believe that it would be true. How anyone could do something that awful was beyond his comprehension. Lovino only nodded weakly, drawing a sharp breath and clearing his throat.

"After he was... done, he left again, but told me that if I told anyone, I wouldn't be the only one suffering. Dear God, Antonio, I couldn't let him hurt Feliciano, so I cleaned up, and composed myself. I'm sure Feliciano noticed that things were tense between me and Sadiq, but I convinced him everything was fine."

Antonio couldn't help the immense respect he had for his boyfriend's decision, no matter how much it hurt to think about the pain he went through. He really would do anything to protect his brother, and the Spaniard found him incredibly brave to be able to deal with all that on his own just to keep Feliciano safe.

"Sadiq kept following me, acting as if nothing was wrong. I tried to pull away, but I feared him only more and more as he kept beating me. Of course, he never left any damage on places people could see, and so he believed no one would find out. Then... after nearly a year of physical and mental torture, he came to me, and he was furious. For some reason, he believed I had 'cheated on him'. Called me a whore, among other things. He began b-beating me and after a while, he suddenly dragged me along somewhere. He looked so... so utterly mad, you can't even begin to imagine..."

"Didn't anyone see you?"

"No, it was in the middle of the night, and dark outside. He brought me down to the sea, and I tried to get away because I was really scared of what he might do. The beating was worse than usual and I was really out if it. I tried screaming for help, but then he grabbed me, and held me over the fence... It w-was stormy that night, and I knew I wouldn't be able to swim to shore if he was to drop me..." the tears had come to a stop, but that didn't make his expression any less haunted. "The worst thing was that he k-knew it too, but he still let me fall..."

"He tried to k-kill you?" Antonio gasped, unable to process this. Obviously, this man was a lot more dangerous than he had first thought.

"I'm n-not even sure how I survived... My memory is all blurry, but somehow I woke up on dry land, and all I could do was... lie there and cry. Eventually, I found my way home again, and I spent days and weeks, even months expecting Sadiq to come back... But he never did. Maybe he thought I was dead... or maybe he was scared that anyone would find out what he'd done, I don't know..."

"And now that... that monster dares to come back again?" The anger Antonio had tried to suppress was hard to contain, and as he pictured the face of that horrible man, all he wanted to do was to cause him as much harm as physically possible. More than that, he wanted him locked behind bars for the rest of his life, though he knew that proving his sins would be very nearly impossible.

"he m-must have found out that I was still alive..." Lovino looked so exhausted, eyes still distant and fearful. "I... I'm scared, Antonio. So scared..."

Antonio brought his boyfriend's hand to his lips, kissing it softly before meeting his eyes with determination.

"I won't let him harm you. If he tries to lay a hand on you, I don't know what I'll do."

"Y-you haven't met him, he's scarier than anyone I've met..."

"I have met him, actually."

Lovino's eyes snapped to his, wide with shock. The room was utterly silent for a while, as if someone had sucked any sounds out of it. Even the birds outside, which had clearly been chattering before, seemed to hold their breath, until Lovino's hoarse reply broke the silence.

"W-what?"

"He came to the flower store a while ago, just to give me an orange lily. I know a bit about the language of flowers, but I couldn't understand why he'd deliver a message like that. Then I saw him again, just before I went to... visit you... Oh my God, he must have just left your house! If I had known-" he broke off. If he'd known, he wouldn't have let the other just leave again. Fuck, he'd even smelled the garden dirt on the man's clothes and hands, seen how angry he'd looked.

He shuddered, despite himself, as he remembered the dangerous look in those dark eyes. Yes, he could definitely see why Lovino feared him so badly. That look he'd had in his eyes was the look of someone who could and would do anything to get what they wanted.

"He started using flowers because he knew how much I liked them... using something I really enjoyed, and even took comfort in, against me. As if to really rub it in my face that there was nothing that could be trusted."

Like anything else, the language of flowers could be used for good things, but could also be misused. Antonio could understand how Lovino had lost faith in it, just like Feliciano had mentioned when he came to buy flowers for him. The younger Italian had apparently noticed that Lovino had received flowers symbolizing warnings and other dark thing, even if he hadn't seen that Sadiq was the one to send them.

"I've always loved flowers..." The Spaniard murmured after a while, feeling a need to change the subject onto something lighter, as the air in the room had turned very heavy. "It's another way of saying things when you can't say them with words. I used to be horribly shy, you know? That's partially why I decided to learn to say things with flowers instead."

It worked, the air seemed to lighten at this distraction. Lovino had both eyebrows raised incredulously, looking mildly disbelieving.

"You were shy?" he asked, and Antonio smiled softly.

"Hard to believe, I suppose, but yes. Back at the orphanage when I was little, some of the older kids found out how funny it was to embarrass me by using my own words and actions against me. I was easily flustered and soon began to grow anxious and self-conscious, finding it hard to interact with people because I was afraid that they too would laugh and point out my flaws."

He could still remember how insecure he'd felt. Whenever someone tried a conversation with him, he'd just stand there – a thin, curly-haired little thing with his large green gaze glued to his feet – stuttering out a short reply. No wonder people had began thinking he was a bit on the stupid side.

"Most people don't know the impact they can have on someone's life," Lovino said quietly, and Antonio nodded thoughtfully. It truly didn't take much for a person to change another, for better or worse. All it took were some careless words, some inappropriate laughter, or a painful lie...

"We can still fight it, though," he said after a contemplative pause, "we don't have to let people decide what we should be like. I woke up one day, deciding that those jerks had no power over me. They had no right to make me into a stuttering fool. So, I walked out of the orphanage, and out on the streets. There, I stopped at the first and scariest person I saw, and began chatting with him."

"Really?" Lovino sounded astonished, giving a small hum with wonder, "Wow... That must have been difficult."

Antonio gave a half-smile, recalling the moment clearly. "Scariest thing I had ever done," he admitted. "Still, the grumpy old man I chatted with, turned out to be a really nice guy, and we talked for well over half an hour before one of the leaders of the orphanage came and pulled me back by the ear, yelling at me for running off."

"Ouch."

"I was smiling from ear to ear, though. Probably looked a bit crazy." Antonio chuckled mildly at the memory of how he'd stopped stuttering after that. Of course, it wasn't that easy to get out of old habits, and he was still sceptical and fearful. However, he found that meeting people with a bright smile and a carefree, mild attitude worked a lot better than having his eyes glued to his feet while he answered in one-word-sentences until he got a chance to escape. It was also easier to interact when he began observing people instead of thinking so much about himself and his own words and actions.

"I can imagine," Lovino smiled for a brief moment, before sighing softly. "I wonder if I'll ever be able to change. To be able to trust again..." He looked wistful, as if this was something he'd wished for a lot of times, without being able to do it. Antonio felt a bit lighter as he noticed the flicker of hope that had been lit in those golden eyes again – a light he hadn't seen since that night on the beach.

"You will, if you allow yourself to do so."

"It'll take time, probably." Lovino glanced at him hesitantly, the question in his eyes as clear as day. Antonio took that as his cue to lean over and plant a warm kiss to the Italian's forehead. A promise.

"Take as much time as you need, Lovinito. I'll still be here, no matter how long it takes."

People could easily change each other, without being aware of it. And at that exact moment, Antonio realized just how much this pained, broken Italian had changed him. Changed him for the better. Yes, definitely for the better.

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Thanks for reading! If you could give me some feedback, telling me what you think of the story I'd be really happy! ^^