Caught you having a laugh

Did you catch me have the last?

I've been smiling like this for days

Just to make up for my mistakes

In the dark, I watch everyone disappear

I'm beginning to let myself down

I'm pushing everyone that was in, out

-Safer To Hate Her; You Me At Six

CHAPTER 13

SCORPIUS MALFOY

I was going crazy without her.

I longed to feel the curves of her waist.

I wished to smell the scent of her hair that she twirled in her fingers.

I craved the taste of her lips on mine.

I yearned to see the sparkle in her eyes.

My beautiful red Rose. I wouldn't see her for another three days. I didn't know if I could handle even that.

You whiny little bitch.

I mentally kicked myself for being so psychopathic, but I grinned all the same. Because honestly? I couldn't wait to see her. I twirled my grandfather's ring in my fingers, thinking about how right it would look on Rose's delicate ones. I grinned to myself again, making a mental note not to smile this stupid smile at school; they'd think I'd gone insane. That's how I looked, in all fairness. My almost-white hair was sticking up everywhere, and not intentionally. I was paler. I knew I was. Mother hadn't noticed. Father was refusing to talk to me, so if he'd noticed he didn't let on. The truth was I hadn't been eating as much. I wasn't particularly sure why.

But I had noticed something while I'd been back here. Something seemed wrong between my parents. They were… different around each other. I forced myself to believe that it was just my father's way of coping with his father's death. Pushing people away wasn't at all unlike him, anyway. Draco Malfoy was never one for large groups of people. Not like the Potters, I'd noticed. My father seemed determined to be the complete opposite of the Potter-Weasley clan. Although, he couldn't do much about the houses. Or mansions, I should say. Everyone had seen the Potter Mansion, and everyone knew about Malfoy Manor. Malfoy Manor was legendary, not just because it had been there since practically forever, but also for negative reasons. Lord Voldemort had been housed here. My grandfather, my grandmother and my great aunt Bellatrix had let him use the Manor as headquarters. It was strange to me, that the house I grew up in – the house I loved, despite its harshness – was once walked through by the darkest wizard of all time. He had walked the halls, he had touched the banisters, and he had sat in chairs that once stood in the dining room. My father had thrown out those chairs as soon as he'd moved our family into the Manor. He removed every trace of Dark wizards from the house, even going so far as burning a portrait of my great aunt – which almost killed my grandmother. I knew how much she'd loved her sister.

Apart from the manors, Father had tried to make us as different from the Potter-Weasley clan as possible. I'd never met my cousin, Teddy Lupin. Father had never forbade me, but I felt as though I'd be betraying him if I was civil to the boy. I realised that if I started dating Rose, I probably would meet him. And I would probably like him. All of the Potter-Weasley-Lupin clan was nice, I guess.

Damned family.

It dawned on me that I'd just called Albus Fucking Potter 'nice'. I felt my whole world collapse when I realised that I actually thought he was. Not necessarily to me, but he wasn't an asshole to the people he loved and cared about. If he wasn't such a pretentious douchebag – or if I wasn't – we probably would've been friends. I shook the thought from my mind, trying not to think about me and Albus Fucking Potter out drinking Firewhiskies together.

I cast about my mind for a different thought and it landed, as it always did, on Rose. Why was I such a girl? I had to think of her all the goddamn time. It was infuriating. But the most annoying part was that it wasn't. I loved thinking about her. I was such a sappy git.

True to form, I pulled out the letter she'd sent me in reply to mine. I'd read the thing about five million times, and I found myself reading it for the five millionth and first.

Scorpius,

You are sappy; you just don't want to admit it, haha. And yes, maybe you should work on that poem. Hmmm, cryptic. Do I not get any clues as to what this mystery present is? If not that's really annoying, you can't just tell me you've got me a present and then not tell me what it is. That's so Scorpius of you. Which I guess would make sense seeing as you are Scorpius but you know. Oh dear God I'm rambling on a piece of parchment – quick, someone check me into a mental institute.

I hope everything is okay at your house. It's actually been okay here; with Albus talking to me Dominique is becoming more and more bearable. It's sort of funny actually. You'd be in hysterics if you saw her trying to make out that she's angry. She crosses her arms and goes "Hmpft!" and sticks her chin out into the opposite direction. It's fucking hilarious.

Is it really pathetic for me to admit that I miss you? I know it is, but I'm going to put it anyway. Because I do. Sort of. It's not really as fun. I mean, it is, because I've got Albus, but it'd be better if I had both of you. Oh god look at me, I'm rambling again.

You know, you and Albus are so much alike. It's kinda creepy actually.

-Rose.

I smiled each time I read it. Why did she have to be so cute? I loved it when she rambled, and it made me laugh that she even did it in a letter. I'd written a reply, something about how no she didn't get any clues, it was supposed to be a surprise, and how yes everything was okay here (I decided not to tell her about the whole "I'm in love with Rose Weasley" thing…), how I know Dominique does that, because she used to do it all the time to me. Oh, and how I missed her too. Because I was a sappy douchebag. I didn't reply anything to the bit about Albus. I didn't want to admit that I knew exactly how much we were alike.

I lay down with my eyes closed, almost dreaming, when an owl flew in the window, onto the table and hooted happily in my ear.

It scared me fucking shitless.

I glowered at the owl before realising it wasn't one I recognised, and the letter tied to its leg was addressed to me. I unwound the binding and opened the note:

Malfoy.

I suppose we should get some things straight. You are in love with my cousin. Don't even try to deny it because I'm not retarded. And don't put a snide comment to that either because that's just way too easy. In fact you probably didn't think of it before I mentioned it because it was that easy but… moving on. You are in love with my cousin. My cousin is in love with you. She hasn't admitted it yet but it's obvious. This does not mean we are friends, or even close to it. But I will act civil to you on the condition that you do the same. For Rose's sake. I wouldn't want her having to choose between us, because then she'd choose me and that'd leave little old you all heartbroken, wouldn't it, lickle Malfoy? Does seem appealing actually… but you understand my point. I expect a reply, and I have instructed the owl to bite you – hard – if you do not start working on the reply as soon as you have read the letter. We may have a truce, Malfoy, but I still need my sources of amusement, and seeing you come to school in a few days with a chunk taken out of your skin would definitely amuse me.

I think it is unnecessary to say this but I will: I do not think it is required of us to tell Rose about this agreement. I know you probably wouldn't have anyway, but you are a pompous ass, so you never know.

-Albus

P.S. yes, the bird will bite.

I reread the letter a few times. I was stunned. Albus Potter – Albus Fucking Potter – offering a truce on our six-year feud? I was thinking hard when the owl bit me. And fuck, did it hurt.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed, examining the cut on my forefinger. I glared at the owl. "Stupid fucking bird." The owl hooted smugly, and bent its head towards a bit of parchment that was on the table in front of me. I picked up a quill and dipped it in the half-empty bottle of ink that was resting on the table also, and I began to write.

Potter,

You were right; the thought hadn't even crossed my mind until you mentioned it. Way too easy. See, I'm already getting started with this truce crap; I just said you were right, agreed with you, and I haven't called you retarded.

But I do agree – once again. We'll call truce, for Rose. But should she and I break it off, we will go back to before. Like nothing changed. Agreed?

-Scorpius.

P.S. Fuck you.

I added the last part purely because I wouldn't get to for a long time, if we were calling a truce. I sent the bird away with a glare, folding up Albus' letter and putting it in the pocket of my dark blue jeans.

A letter came a few days later,

Agreed

-A

XXXXX

I repacked my trunk with more anticipation than I ever had before. I felt like such a girl. I was hurrying to get back to school. Sweet Merlin, I was such a loser. I had just finished throwing my books into my trunk when I heard a knock at my wide open door. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. My mother never knocked. It was my father, probably come to tell me that I was a disappointment or something.

"Hello, Father." I said, without turning around. Footsteps told me he took this as an invitation to come in.

"Good evening, son." I flinched at the word but I didn't let him see.

"Was there something you needed, sir?" Sir. I had always called him 'sir'. He had taught me too. Looking back on it I had no idea why. I felt like I was already back at school.

"Is a father not allowed to talk to his own son?" He said it jokingly, but I knew he meant it as a proper question. It was his way of asking if he could talk to me. I was very tempted to say no.

"I suppose, sir." I said stiffly, swallowing every urge I had to start kicking him.

"Scorpius, you must know that I care about you very much. And anything I say, or don't say, out of anger does not mean my opinion of you has changed."

"And what is your opinion of me, Father?" I said quietly, an almost indignant air to the question. "Don't tell me I am not the disappointment you always made me out to be? Am I not a disgrace to the Malfoy name as you so often imply? I've done everything you've ever asked me to do, and I've done it well. I couldn't fail enough for you. So you beat me and beat me with your words as if that one day one of them will make something inside me snap, and you'll finally be able to be rid of me! Don't act like it's not true, Father. I know you well. I know you perhaps better than anyone else, including Mother, but you don't know me at all. I'm surprised you even remember my birthday! I'm sure you wouldn't if I didn't remind you a week in advance each year. Well Father, I guess you've got your wish. I've finally done something for you to be ashamed of. I am in love with a Weasley and I am not ashamed of it! So go ahead, do your worst! Beat me up. Kick me out and make sure I never come back! Anything you do to me is not going to be worse than what you've already done." My voice had started out as an only slightly audible whisper, building up until I was shouting. Father made no attempt to contradict anything I said. I'm glad he didn't. He'd just be lying to himself.

My whole life. My whole life I'd been respectful to my father. Letting the minor slip-ups slide, one by one. I'd never thought about it until recently. All my father ever did was talk down to me. He would trash-talk me and basically be a fucking asshole, but I always let it slide. It was for our own good. All he was ever concerned with was our reputation. He was determined to make sure the Malfoy name still held respect. He thought I threatened that.

"Eat something, Scorpius. You're looking pale." He said finally. I stared at him in disbelief. That was what he had to say to me? That? He turned and walked out of the room, with me still gaping at his disappearing figure. I grabbed my Quidditch Captain badge and aimed it at his head. I threw it, and it hit exactly where I wanted it to. He studied the badge and looked up to see me in my doorway.

"I got Quidditch Captain." I said, because I knew he didn't know. And then I slammed the door. But not before I heard him let out the smallest of sighs.

"Someday you'll understand." He'd whispered.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

yeah, daddy issues is playing a big theme here...

ha, i figured i owed you guys another chapter considering how absent i've been. i've just been so caught up with random crap, sorry:S

This has taken me since about 10 to write. It's 3 now. 3am. thank god it's half term...

I actually liked this chapter, so hopefully you will too.

please review!

thanks guys!

beccasophX