Chapter 7
"Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever." - Baron Munchausen
The Present - The Galactica
With that unerring sense honed by yahrens of duty, Omega felt the newcomer enter in the bridge before turning to see who it was. He relaxed when he recognized the familiar brown uniform and the casual attitude of Lieutenant Starbuck. It did seem a bit strange that he was without either of his usual compatriots, Captain Apollo or Lieutenant Boomer, but since it wasn't Siress Tinia, Omega thought nothing more of it.
Starbuck strolled over to Athena and leaned over to address her.
"So, when are you off duty?"
"In a centar or so," she answered, looking up at him.
"Do you have any plans?"
"Yes, return to the barracks and get some sleep." Then realizing this was Starbuck she was speaking to, she added: "Alone."
"I was just wondering if you'd like to join me and Cassiopeia for a late night drink," Starbuck said, ignoring her jab.
"Why? Have you joined that Aerian Society of Bakkhus?"
"What? Who are they?" Starbuck asked, looking truly baffled.
"People who believe in free love, preferably with multiple partners at the same time."
"Really? How did I miss hearing about this?"
"I don't know. Maybe you don't like competition?"
"I'm not that bad – " he started and then noticed her friendly smile. "Oh…right. So you're willing?"
"Sure, why not?" Athena shrugged.
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A centar later at the Officers' Club, Cassiopeia and Athena retired to a corner table while Starbuck went to fetch mugs of grog. Since it was the ship's night shift, there were few others in the room.
"How have you been?" Cassie asked Athena.
"As well as can be expected," Athena said.
"I just wanted to let you know your…er…friend is doing better."
"That's good." Athena shifted uneasily in her chair and glanced at Starbuck still occupied at the bar.
"He's spoken to me a few times."
"He has?" Athena looked startled. Cassie could see worry and fear in Athena's eyes. Fear, no doubt, for what Baltar may have said.
"He was asking after his wife." Cassie said. She had no proof, only a suspicion. On that suspicion, she had checked what records she had available, even Athena's. And based on emergency medical treatment Athena had received shortly after the Destruction, there was a certainty that Athena had been involved with someone, but no husband or father had been listed in what few notes had been made.
"Felgercarb," Athena said, strangely quiet. "You haven't said anything to anyone?"
"No. Confidentiality is something that medtechs have in common with socialators, unless there is a need to contact a next of kin."
"Look, Cassie, it's over," Athena said desperately. "There's nothing I can do. There's nothing anyone can do. And it would be better if my father never knew."
"Never knew what?" Starbuck asked, setting down three mugs.
"Nothing." Athena insisted.
"Why do I feel so uninformed lately?" Starbuck asked merrily. "First, I find out there's this really interesting Aerian Society and now…." He settled into an empty chair at the table.
"What Aerian Society?" Cassie asked, taking a mug.
"The one Athena was telling me about." Starbuck smiled and raised his mug before drinking.
"The Society of Bakkhus," Athena explained in a subdued voice.
"They let those amateurs – " Cassie broke off, but not before it was evident that there was professional dislike involved, if not rivalry.
"Athena, are you all right?" Starbuck asked. "You look like you've seen a phantom."
"I'm fine," she said, grabbing a mug. "It's been a long day." She took a long drink.
"You don't look fine. Is it something I said?"
"No, it isn't anything you said."
"Is this about – uh - ?" Starbuck looked at Cassie, and made a few motions with his free hand.
"What is this? Are we playing charades now?" Athena asked, clearly irritated.
"I wasn't intending to," Starbuck said, looking to Cassie for help.
"You know Starbuck," Cassie said to Athena, "always making a joke of things."
"This isn't a joke," Athena hissed.
"I know it isn't." Cassie tried to soothe Athena. She noticed that Starbuck looked concerned, almost guilty. "I – well, we – know that sometimes it helps to talk," Cassie added. Athena straightened up, glaring at them and Cassie was afraid she was going to lose her temper, but then, almost as quickly, Athena sighed wearily, her anger gone.
"All right, if you must know," Athena said, then pointed at Starbuck. "And if you breathe a word of this to anyone, especially my father or my brother, you'll – you'll – you'll be missing the most cherished part of your male anatomy."
"Ouch." Starbuck winced.
"We were involved on Caprica. We were going to make it public after the Armistice – the Destruction." Athena paused to wipe tears from her eyes. "For obvious reasons, that didn't happen. I don't know why he hasn't said anything."
"He doesn't want to cause you any more hurt," Cassie said softly.
"Oh, that's nice," Starbuck said and took a drink. "Why didn't he think of that before the Destruction?"
"He did," Athena retorted sharply.
"Wait, are you saying he didn't betray the Colonies?" Starbuck asked.
"I don't believe he betrayed the Colonies."
"But you don't know for certain, do you?"
"If I question what he did or did not do before the Destruction of the Colonies, then I have to also question the actions of the entire Council – including my father's." Cassie saw a flash of doubt in Athena's expression.
"You don't have to," Starbuck insisted. "Just look at his behavior since the Destruction."
"Starbuck, everyone has acted differently since then. We're all just hanging on waiting – hoping – for something better." Athena shook her head. "He's not a warrior – well, he did serve the mandatory term – but that was some time ago. He did what he could to survive."
"At what cost to others?" Starbuck asked, horrified. "He's helped the Cylons hunt us down."
"Are you sure?" Quietly, Athena challenged him.
"I saw him in command of a baseship," Starbuck said, so aghast by her suggestion that he was barely able to get the words out.
"He let you go." Athena said calmly. "You could even argue that he created enough confusion among the Cylons to hinder their efforts to make an effective attack against us. You have to admit for a force which destroyed 12 worlds they've been pretty bad when attacking the fleet."
"Athena, are you crazy?!" Starbuck yelped, then looked around meekly, remembering where he was. Cassie saw the others in the room watching them. Long moments of silence held forth until everyone returned to their own business.
"I don't think I'm crazy," Athena murmured, "but if I were, how would I know? I think the universe is insane…." She said, more to herself than to Starbuck. "I wish things could be as simple as you seem to think they are."
"Athena, you've lost it."
"Have I?" She looked at Starbuck intently. "Why wasn't there a proper trial? Because there would have been too many questions. Why wasn't he just executed? Why wasn't he just escorted to the nearest airlock and bid farewell?" Now that Athena mentioned it, Cassie thought this was odd. Why hadn't there been a formal trial when there had been one convened for Starbuck when he had been charged for murder?
"I don't know," Starbuck said, appearing muddled. "The Commander – "
"Yes, my father who was on the same Council and who was also one of the highest ranking military men on Caprica."
"Assuming the Council was in on this, why? What happened?"
"The Colonies were losing the war," Athena said. "After the defeats at the Cosmora Archipelago and Molecay, it became evident that the Colonies were losing the ability to defend themselves from Cylon attacks."
"But the Armistice…." Starbuck's voice faded. The despair was evident in his expression.
"It was apparently an attempt to mislead the Cylon forces, so that the gathering of the Colonial battlestars would not be questioned. They were apparently going to make an offensive strike against the Cylons."
"You don't know this for certain." Starbuck grasped at whatever shreds of the past he knew, even as it seemed to warp. Cassie saw him struggling with this new interpretation of events.
"No, I don't," Athena admitted. "But I saw enough before the Destruction to know that what people believe now is not accurate either."
"He – Baltar – still could have – " Starbuck stuttered.
"Yes, he could have. But I don't believe he did. Why would a man with a wife and – " Athena's voice caught, and then she continued " – throw all that away?" Although Athena remained calm, Cassie could hear the anguish in her voice.
"I don't know – wife?" Starbuck asked, pushed off balance even further. "What wife? Was he cheating on her?"
"Starbuck, what are you talking about?" Athena demanded.
"Weren't you and he having an affair on Caprica?"
"Starbuck – " Cassie began.
"I thought you said he said he had a wife." Starbuck turned to Cassie.
"He did," Cassie answered.
"Well, then, he must have been cheating on her."
"No, he wasn't," Athena said firmly.
"Of course, he wouldn't tell you that he had a wife," Starbuck continued, his confusion reaching proportions that would normally have had Cassie laughing.
"Er…yes, he did," Athena said, a strange look on her face.
"He did?"
"Do you want to see the marriage contract?"
"Why would you have his – " Starbuck stopped as the unthinkable occurred to him. "You? You're his wife?"
"I'm afraid so."
"Does the Commander know?" Starbuck asked, his confusion turning to alarm.
"No." Athena shook her head.
"Frak! He's going to go solenite." Cassie again noticed others in the room looking their way. She gave them a smile and a shrug as if to say: "It's Starbuck, what can I do?" She was relieved when they nodded in return and went back to their own conversations.
"Only if you tell him," Athena told Starbuck.
"I'm not telling him; I don't want to be caught in the crossfire." Starbuck said, almost panicking. Despite the situation, Athena could not help laughing at Starbuck's reaction.
"I'm glad you understand the problem."
"Frak, I need a drink, something stronger than this," Starbuck muttered, downing the rest of his mug of grog in one shot.
The Past - Caprica City
Athena was in a daze when she arrived home. His proposal still seemed unreal to her. She had the odd feeling that she would wake up any moment and find herself on the Galactica with no more to anticipate then the beginning of her next duty shift.
As she opened the door, her mother greeted her, relief clearly on her face.
"Thank the Lords, you're all right," Ila said.
"Was it bad?" Athena asked, automatically slipping into the mental thought processes required for her position aboard the Galactica.
"Fortunately, the Cylon raiders were intercepted before they reached the surface of any Colony and our losses were minimal."
"Apollo? Starbuck?" Athena asked.
"They're fine. I expect they'll have to up the tallies on their vipers. Zac was disappointed that missed the action."
"They'll be plenty of that in the future for him."
"Hopefully not too much," Ila said. "Your father was called to an immediate reconvening of the Council."
"I know. Councilor Baltar was called this morning and had to hurry back."
"Oh, really?" Ila gave Athena that knowing look of a mother.
"I couldn't help it." Athena felt herself blushing. "They shut the building."
"Of course, dear," Ila smiled. "It's regrettable that you and he had your rest day interrupted."
"Well…I suppose the Council will be busy," Athena said, trying to not recall the reactions of the rescue personnel who had greeted her this morning.
"No doubt they'll have quite a bit to discuss."
"Or argue over."
"I see you're becoming quite familiar with Council procedures." Ila smiled.
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"The Council was quite impressed with the summaries you prepared for me," Baltar told Athena in his office a few days later. Since the Council had developed a sense of urgency, their daily sessions had been extended and she had had little time to spend with him other than the mid-day meal breaks. Even then, he was obliged to review the morning's business before relaxing for a moment or two. Athena noticed that he was looking increasingly tired and his temper was fraying, although not with her.
"They were?" she asked, sitting at his desk. He, as customary, was sitting in his high-backed chair behind the desk.
"Oh, yes, I think they were surprised to be handed something that they could actually read," he answered and smiled, some of his cheerfulness manifesting itself.
"I tried. I meant to ask you about something I noticed but hadn't had the opportunity."
"What's that?"
"It seems…well…that the Colonies are having trouble keeping up with the war. I mean, it seems that we are having increasing difficulty maintaining a defense." Still uncertain, she looked at him. He was expressionless until he nodded.
"Yes, it appears that way," he said carefully. "However, we don't have the other side of the equation."
"The other side of the equation? What's that?"
"Can the Cylon Empire maintain their assault at the rates they have been?" With one hand, he rubbed his eyes wearily. "If so, then, yes, the Colonies have a serious problem."
"Is there any way the Council can find the answer to this?" Athena asked, a sense of dread overcoming her. It was little wonder that both he and her father were tired and snappish.
"They're trying," Baltar said, and then gave her an ironic smile. "The Cylons are reluctant to open their books to us."
"But isn't there something the Colonies can do?"
"The Council is trying. I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you." He hesitated for an instant and looked unhappy. "I have to take another trip."
"Again? You just came back," Athena said.
"I'm aware of that, and I certainly don't want to leave you so soon, but recent events require it."
"I could go with you," Athena said with a sudden resolve. "I could pilot your shuttle."
"No!" He looked at her, alarmed by her offer.
"Why not?" Athena asked. "I'm a trained pilot."
"Because it could be dangerous." He took her hand. "I don't want anything to happen to you," he said softly.
"Staying here could be dangerous. Don't you remember that?"
"Yes, I remember, which is why I must undertake this for the Council." Athena saw the anxiety and sorrow in his eyes. "I want you to have a future – "
"Don't you mean 'us'?" she interrupted him.
"Of course, I want us to have a future." He smiled, caressing her hand.
"Then let me be with you as your pilot."
"Athena, I can't," he whispered, almost pleading with her. "It will just be for a little while, and after that, I'll resign from the Council if I must to be with you."
"You'd resign from the Council for me?" Athena asked, surprised by his words.
"Yes, I would and that's only the most trivial of things I would do for you. If there's a chance of ending this eternal war, I must do what I can. For you, for the Colonies, for the future."
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To Athena, Baltar left Caprica all too soon for whatever purpose the Council demanded of him and unlike his previous absence, the remaining members of the Council remained in session. Their work kept her busy again sorting his missives and summarizing his reports for nearly a sectar. As the time dragged on and still he didn't return, Athena became increasingly worried and fretted over his safety.
When she felt ill one day, she also discovered something else that added to her worry. So it was a mixture of relief and trepidation she felt one morning when she was notified that he had returned to Caprica.
"Is Councilor Baltar in his office yet?" Athena asked Tesha.
"He returned this morning, but had to step out to attend to something." Tesha, seated behind her desk in the outer office, looked up from her work. "You look worried. Is anything wrong?"
"I don't know. Does your uncle have any children?"
"My, that's an odd question for this early in the morning." Tesha's brows rose in surprise. "He doesn't have any that I know of."
"Do you know if he even wants children?" Athena couldn't help herself. She had been in state of desperation ever since that test had read positive. She really didn't know how he would react. It had been an accident, but she had to wonder if it had been an accident that she had allowed. She had been so frustrated with Starbuck's endless delays and evasions that she couldn't be sure she hadn't somehow unconsciously gotten herself into a situation in which a man would be forced to commit to her.
"Why don't you sit down?" Tesha said kindly. Athena gratefully sank into a chair next to the desk.
"Is he in a good mood this morning?" Athena asked.
"He looked agitated and tired this morning, but he wasn't ranting. Well, not much, and it certainly wasn't regarding you. I think the Council has him annoyed."
"Then he isn't in a good mood…." Athena bit her lip.
"Give him a chance." Tesha patted her hand. "I believe you might be pleasantly surprised. He was always kind to me when I was small."
"I don't want him to feel obligated or – worse – trapped."
"So, he is going to be a father." Tesha grinned.
"No. Not if he doesn't want to. It was an accident. He shouldn't have to accept the responsibility."
"Didn't he accept the responsibility when he asked you to marry him?"
"But that was between us. We hadn't even discussed having a family."
"I think he rather expects children to be a result when two people marry."
"Are you sure?" Athena asked, becoming more uncertain by the moment.
"Look, he knew the consequences when you two…um…you know."
"That first night we had had far too much ambrosia," Athena said, "and neither of us was thinking about the consequences, and after that, well, that line had been crossed…." She trailed off.
"Are you having second thoughts about accepting his proposal?" Tesha asked.
"It just has all happened so fast and I don't know anymore." Athena said.
"You don't know what?" A familiar lilting voice asked behind her. She cringed. Just how long had he been in the room and how much had he heard?
"You've returned." Athena turned in her chair. He was closing the outer door to the office. He did look tired and aggravated.
"What have you two been up to?" he asked, waving a handful of documents.
"If this is not a good time, I can come back later."
"Athena, I've missed you." His expression softened as he gazed at her. "I couldn't wait to see you and now you want to leave without even welcoming me? Your betrothed?"
"I just meant, if you're busy…."
"I'm never too busy not to have a few words with you." He smiled and taking her hand, assisted her to her feet.
"Well, I need to have more than a few words," Athena said, blushing.
"Oh?" Intrigued, he tilted his head in that manner that was becoming familiar to her. "Well, perhaps then Tesha should intercept any callers…." He looked over at Tesha who nodded acknowledgment. They went into his private office and as soon as the door closed behind them, Athena faced him determined to have it done with.
"I'm going to have your baby."
"Well, of course you are." He smiled. "That I'm looking forward to."
"You know?" Athena gasped, astonished.
"Certainly. That's what usually happens." He laughed.
"How do you know?"
"Hmmm…I think it was my father who told me – "
"Baltar, I'm pregnant!" she yelped.
"Huh?...Now?" he asked, stunned. The documents he held slipped from his hand onto the floor.
"Yes. Now." Athena looked up at him. There was an odd faraway look in his eyes as if he wasn't seeing the present. He didn't look upset, yet his preoccupation with his own thoughts was unsettling.
"Baltar?" She asked timidly.
"Hmm. What?"
"What are you thinking?" Even if he was angry, she had to know.
"I'm thinking I – we – need to redo a room."
"Room? What room?"
"A nursery." He said, grinning.
"I haven't even seen where you live!"
"That can be remedied easily." He bent forward and gave her a kiss.
"How can you be so calm?"
"Athena, I love you." He pulled her into an embrace and held her closely. "I'll admit I would have liked to have had you all to myself for a few yahrens, but if fate determines otherwise, I'll accept it. Sometimes fate's surprises are not undesirable."
"You don't feel trapped?" Athena asked. "Or tricked? I don't want you to be forced into something you don't want. It wouldn't be fair to you."
"I don't feel trapped," he said, comforting her. "Even if it was a trap, I would have gladly walked into your clutches. No, that's not true," he laughed softly. "I would have run eagerly into your clutches."
"You're not angry?"
"No. Should I be?"
"I hope not," Athena whispered and rested her head on his shoulder. There was still that other matter that she ought to tell him, but she felt so exhausted that she was content to rest a moment in his arms.
"Do you want a baby?" he asked softly
"It's just all happening so fast."
"You didn't answer the question." Only when he brushed his fingers against her wet cheeks, did she realize she had been crying.
"I do," she said, feeling relieved. "I do want to have a baby."
"Mine?" he asked. Athena looked up into his dark eyes and again saw that underlying sadness that tempered his apparent light-heartedness. She knew then that there was no one else she'd rather be with. She felt an unspoken connection and understanding with Baltar. It was something she had never felt with Starbuck despite their yahrens of friendship.
"Yes, I love you," Athena whispered to Baltar.