Reason Enough

Ch. 2

Alright, so maybe Tatsuki had been right. At least…to some degree. He'd obviously fucked up on some level, and with the limited information he had, he could only assume it must have something to do with his refusal to go to that damned dance. On his back, rooftiles pressing into his shoulders, brown eyes stared up at the cloud-flecked sky as his mind turned over facts and opinions and…well, to be honest, it was turning over feelings more then anything. Not to mention, he had been reminded of how abjectly boring it was to not have the petite shinigami around him.

Rukia…did I really upset you that much?

It was a question he didn't really have an answer for. Afterall, the object of his thoughts had made herself scarce over the last few days. He'd seen her at school, but she'd found some excuse to be away from the house every night, and when she was there, she was avoiding him. And as much as he hated to admit it, the fact that she was avoiding him bothered him. More then anything else, it grated against his nerves and beat against something inside him he didn't want to admit to having. Feelings. Not that feelings in and of themselves were a bad thing. But…realizing that said feelings were fairly strong, and were directed towards a dark-haired girl who was currently in an apparent position of not speaking to him made it a bitter pill to swallow. Sighing, he folded his arms behind his head and resumed his mental banter with his inner monologue. He didn't….really feel that way about her, did he? He wasn't supposed to, that equated letting someone in, letting them get close. And…letting others close wasn't something Kurosaki Ichigo had really planned to do. But then, when had Kuchiki Rukia ever listened to what he wanted to do.

With an irritated growl, he sat up and shook his head to try and derail the train of thought that seemed to be on constant circuit through his head. The train of thought that kept returning to one thing. Rukia. Her laughter, her smile, the way her eyes lit up when she got the chance to learn something new about the human world. The way her hair would blow in the wind when she sat on the roof with him to watch the sunset. Her strength, the way she fought so hard and demanded respect and equal footing with him. The way her cheeks flushed and her eyes flashed when she was yelling at him. The way he wanted to be the reason she smiled like that, and the way he wanted to utterly destroy everything that had ever hurt her or made her cry. Hell, he even enjoyed the fighting and bickering. Realizing quite suddenly that he was sitting on his roof with an idiotic grin on his face, Ichigo groaned and lay back down, one hand over his eyes. Oh hell. He'd just had to go and think about it, hadn't he? And even though he couldn't deny that it was true, admitting it to himself just complicated things.

Great, NOW what the hell am I supposed to do?

Logic might have dictated something along the lines of "apologize, then tell her how you feel". But then, logic wasn't always Ichigo's strong point. And therefore, simply seeking out the subject in question and proceeding in a manner of "I'm sorry I was an ass, Rukia. Oh and by the way, I love you" wasn't a viable option in his mind. Not…because it wasn't how he felt. Now that he'd managed to admit it to himself, it seemed nauseatingly easy to see that of course he loved her, he'd loved her for quite some time. But…he had no way of knowing how she felt. Well, other then the fact that right now he was apparently the last person the violet-eyed girl wanted to see. Running a hand through unruly hair, he let Tatsuki's words filter back into his mind.

Apologize, huh? But…how can I do that if she won't even stay around me long enough to SAY anything?

Staring off the side of the house, he watched as the door slammed and the object of his affections went running out to the street corner to meet Inoue. With a smile and a flutter of words, the two of them immediately began talking animatedly. Probably about that prom thing. Sighing to himself, Ichigo let brown eyes study the small form that had so captured him. Black hair in it's usual style, slight figure concealed by the lines of the dress she wore. It was a pretty dress, the back of his mind noted. Suited Rukia very nicely, in fact. He was about to toss a sarcastic comment back to that portion of his mind when the shinigami turned, as though sensing his presence, and violet eyes met his brown ones. He froze, tumbling into those amethyst depths like always, but stopped at the expression in them. It was almost…sad, in a way. Following Rukia's line of sight, Inoue also looked up at him, gray eyes mirroring confusion and then…sympathy? Understanding? There wasn't really time to mull over it as the long-haired girl turned to her shorter companion with a smile and a nod and dragged Rukia off down the street with a laugh. Ichigo simply sat, slightly dumbfounded expression on his face. Had…he made that sort of expression appear on Rukia's face? Well, that cemented it in his mind. Whatever he did, he needed to do something. The question now was what?

"Kuchiki-san, you should get this one, it would be perfect on you!"

Glancing up to where the bright-haired girl was holding out a dress on a rack, Rukia smiled slightly and fingered the material. The dress was certainly pretty, and a nice shade of blue, but it just didn't seem to spark her interests that much. Nodding, she let the soft fabric slip from her hands to turn back to the rack, halfheartedly browsing through the large selection the store offered.

"I don't know, Inoue. There just isn't one that…feels right, you know? Maybe I just shouldn't go."

Eyes widening, Orihime grabbed Rukia's hand and shook her head, long hair flying about her face. No, that wouldn't do. She had brought Rukia here to try and cheer her up, to convince the shorter girl to come with them all to the event. And she wasn't going to give up, even if Ichigo was being difficult.

"Kuchiki-san, don't say that. It won't be the same if you don't go along, besides you were so excited about it on Tuesday. Don't you want to see what it's like? Come on, I'm sure there's a dress here that's just perfect for you. I'll help you look."

Sighing slightly to herself, Rukia shook her head with a smile. She had to give the girl credit. As odd as it felt to be shopping with Inoue, it was…nice. She'd never really had that many friends at all in Soul Society, least of all any female friends she could do such mundane things with as shopping. After all, growing up in Rukongai hadn't been about simple pleasures. It had been about surviving. Making it through the night and into the next day. A hard life, with little time left for any sort of leisure activities. And even after entering the Academy, things hadn't changed. She was a commoner, a native of Rukongai. Beneath the notice of most of the students in the class, and hardly worthy of being looked down upon. Her adoption into the Kuchiki family had only served to tip the scales in the other direction. Now, rather then those around her feeling too good to associate with her, they had changed their standpoint and considered her too good for them. Or at least, considered that her mindset had changed thusly. It was really only since spending so much time in the human world, meeting Inoue and Ichigo and the others, that she'd really had real friends. And it felt…good to have them. It was normal, and familiar, and somehow mundane in a way that wasn't irritating or tiresome. It was a nice sort of mundane.

"Alright, Inoue. I'll go, I'll go. But I still don't think there's a dress that'll look good on me."

Well, at least that part was true. Pawing through the racks of dresses again, Rukia cursed her slight figure and petite stature. As much as the other girls at school might have cooed and fawned over how slim she was, how tiny and cute and adorable and all sorts of other words they seemed to think belonged to her, it didn't change the fact that being so small made it nearly impossible to find anything in her size that didn't come from the children's department. In fact, the only thing that being so short was really good for was fitting into Ichigo's closet. Ichigo… That simple thought was enough to bring her mind full circle to return to the issue it had been prodding for the last few days. Despite the fact that it wasn't really out of character for him, his words had stung. Far more then she'd wanted to admit, both to herself and to anyone else. Thus it had been a complete and total surprise when Inoue had approached her later to ask if she was alright.

I must be losing my touch, or something.

That was, of course, the only reasoning she could come up with for why the walnut-haired girl had been able to notice her reaction to his statement. Afterall, she'd spent years hiding her feelings, perfecting those walls and barriers and defenses that kept people only a certain distance from her.

But…he broke them down, you know. Without you even realizing it, he broke right through all your defenses and took your heart. You knew it then, and you know it now.

And as much as she might have liked to silence the voice in the back of her mind, she knew it spoke truth. In his usual brash and unrepentant manner, Ichigo had broken through all of her walls without even really trying. And…she had fallen, fallen hard for the orange-haired teen who had fought so hard to save her life. She'd realized when Byakuya and Renji had arrived to take her back to Soul Society to face her execution, how much she cared for the substitute shinigami who had taken her powers. But it wasn't until he'd appeared, blocking the final blast of the Soukyoku and grinning that smug grin of his that she'd realized how deeply that caring ran. After it was over, she'd tried to push it aside, tried to ignore it. He was human, she was shinigami. It wasn't supposed to be that way, wasn't supposed to happen like that. But the more she'd tried to ignore it, the more she'd missed him. Even the few days that she spent in Seireitei without him had seemed like an eternity, and before she had even realized what she was doing, she had found her way back to Karakura. Back to him. And since then, she'd been at his side. Even her brother had began to understand her feelings, though she'd never voiced them to him. But the backhanded permission he'd given her to join the group going to Hueco Mundo had been enough to show that he understood, that he accepted her need to be near the orange-haired man who had come to mean so much to her. And since coming back from their daring rescue, Inoue and the others safe and together again, she'd stayed. Stayed here, with them. With Ichigo. Things had settled back into their normal flow, and their relationship had returned to it's usual bickering closeness smattered with occasional meaningful moments. And as much as she hated admitting it, it was becoming harder and harder to be satisfied with that. Harder to ignore the way she always wanted to reach for his hand when they walked next to each other, the way she always had to mentally remind herself not to scoot closer and lay her head on his shoulder when they watched the stars from the roof. Harder to hide the way her cheeks would pink whenever he glanced her way, or the way her breath would catch in her throat at one of his rare smiles.

Real smooth, Rukia. Falling for someone who doesn't even think of you that way. Hell, he'd probably rather go with anyone other then you. But…are you really surprised? Afterall, he rescued you out of obligation. Because he owed you. Did you really think it was out of love?

With a sigh, she flipped through the last portion of the rack, pausing as her fingers fell on dark fabric. Pulling the dress out, she smiled to herself. This was perfect. And…maybe she could still have fun, even if the one person she'd have most wanted to be there was absent. A soft gasp from behind caught her attention and she glanced over her shoulder to see Inoue standing, hands over her mouth as she gazed at the dress.

"Kuchiki-san….that's perfect."

Nodding, Rukia pulled it out and checked the tag. And just her luck, it looked like it would actually fit her. Turning to the other girl, she flashed a smile.

"I think so too, Inoue. Did you find yourself something?"

With a grin and a nod, the taller girl held up a shopping bag. She'd already purchased hers, and the dress was wrapped and ready to be taken home. Nodding her head towards the shoe section, she smiled at Rukia.

"Yup, already paid for and everything. Once you get that, let's go look at shoes and accessories and things, alright Kuchiki-san?"

With a nod, Rukia paid for her dress and headed off down the mall with Orihime. Afterall, there were still plenty of things to do.