Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is copyrighted. Don't sue cause I own nothing of value.

Sorry it's late. I've been camping and stuff while on holidays.

Reviewers:

I FEEL LOVED! I would like to thank all of you for reviewing my story, but just so you know, I'm a Uni student so i may not get stories up as oftren as we may like. Anyway, thanks!

Whisper was in the busty blonde's office again.

'This is getting monotonous,' He complained loudly to Suichi, who was the only one at the surface.

The redhead laughed lightly. 'Well, you do get into trouble a lot.'

'Well, yeah. But I can usually talk my way out of it. How the hell am I supposed to talk my way out of something involving a corpse, a witness and a bound demon I called to the surface?' Whisper mentally pouted when Suichi laughed at him again.

'There's only one thing you can do at a time like this. And I would know; almost the same thing has happened to me often enough.'

'What?'

'Smile, bare it and try to either change the subject or shift the blame onto someone else.'

'…Gee, thanks.'

"Whisper-san! Answer the question!" The black-haired youth jumped slightly.

"Huh?"

The blonde on the other side of the desk developed a noticeable tick in her left eyebrow. Tsunade gritted her teeth and repeated herself.

"What happened in there? Start to finish if you please."

"Hmmm…? Okay." Whisper tapped his chin with an index finger as he pondered where to begin. "Well…it started yesterday after I left this room here." Whisper gestured to the room in general. "I wandered 'round for about an hour before I wandered into a randomly place Training Ground where I met Hinata and I asked if she would like to learn how to use the whip, since from what I saw before I interrupted her, she has the perfect build and balance to be able to become a master at it. Anyway, I was with her for, what, five-six hours before we went and got a meal at this Ramen Stand, Ichukiru or something. Then I asked her if she would help me with some clothes shopping for Naruto since his fashion sense sucks (honestly, whoever got him into orange should be hung up by their heels and skinned). That was a mistake since she took me on a four hour shopping spree-" The male ANBU in the room made momentary sympathetic noises-"and then I walked her back to the Hyuuga compound after getting Naruto's address from her (no idea how she got it) and promising her another training session in the morning. On the way to Naruto's apartment, I was waylaid by one of the guys who put me into the hospital and he asked some inane questions before taking off again-"

"WAIT!" Whisper paused and gave the Godaime big surprised eyes.

"Yes?"

"What do you mean 'he asked me some inane questions before taking off again'?"

"Exactly what it sounds like."

Tsunade's face was growing steadily redder and Whisper could practically see steam rising from her head.

'Are you sure it's okay to provoke her like this?' Suichi asked, honestly beginning to question Whisper's sanity. Again.

'Don't you mean 'safe'? Nope.' Whisper chirped with a Kitten Smile™ (Guaranteed to get coos of adoration from any Fangirl worth her salt). 'But you gotta admit it's amusing as hell.'

The Hokage tried steadying her temper with a few deep breaths. "Did you get the name of the nin?"

Whisper allowed his Kitten Smile™ to manifest visibly. "Of course! Naruto told me!"

Pause.

Longer uncomfortable pause in which Whisper continues to Smile™.

Tsunade twitched violently. All ANBU took a big step back.

"What was the bloody name, already!"

Whisper blinked innocently, naively.

Yeah. Me and the Tooth Fairy.

"What name?"

(Space)

Naruto jerked awake in his hospital bed when a frustrated scream tore through the Hidden Village of Leaf. All over town, dogs and Inuzukas started barking and howling.

(Space)

"Oh! That name!" The fox smiled benignly at the Hokage at the bottom of the ANBU dogpile…the only thing stopping her from completing the lunge which would take his head off.

"Itachi."

Whisper was instantly the centre of attention and not a few kunai.

'Why are you doing this?' Suichi sounded like he wanted to cry.

'Keep them from asking what Itachi wanted to know.' Whisper was vaguely amused at Suichi's relief that he had a plausible reason for his newly re-found insanity.

"You just let a missing nin of his rank walk off without alerting ANBU the hunt him down! Are you trying to get done for treason!"

Whisper held as finger up and wagged it under the enraged woman's nose. "Uh-uh-ah! You can only get done for treason if you betray your own Village. Last I checked, I was a suspended non-shinobi citizen of Hidden Bamboo. Furthermore, I like my head and screaming 'MISSING-NIN HERE!' is a good way to lose it. Besides, he wasn't wearing anything affiliated with Akatsuki and he wasn't doing anything to me but sating his curiosity with idle banter." How a group of people wearing masks could look outraged was beyond him, but they still managed to pull it off.

Whisper shrugged. "Besides, I figured you knew he was there since two of the ANBU watching me last night were situated on the roof opposite Naruto's apartment. I mean, it's kind of hard for a trained shinobi not to notice someone seated on a windowsill not a meter directly below them."

Heads turned to stare at a pair of ANBU who had the grace to look sheepish.

"Anyway, Itachi aside, I arrived at Naruto's house, my gear mysteriously turned up, I went to sleep, had a nightmare, spent a couple of hours on the windowsill, had a staring contest with said missing-nin, went back to bed when Naruto had a nightmare and went to sleep. Woke up the next morning at the crack of dawn by someone pounding on the door, dragged them inside and duct-taped them to a chair before going back to bed. Woke up an hour or so later and finished my fried tofu from yesterday, opened the door for Hinata-chan, set about Operation: Orange Burn, answered the door to let Gaara in (and I honestly have very little idea as to why he turned up anyway), set Naruto's wardrobe on fire, watched Naruto wake up, enter the kitchen, come back out, panic, try to put out the fire, put out the fire, comfort Naruto, wonder what Itachi's doing in the bedroom doorway and start humming a lullaby to Naruto. Snake-guy comes through the door and the shit hits the fan."

Whisper had the feeling several jaws were working under the white porcelain masks, not to mention a couple of couples of eyebrows getting hitched up under some hairlines.

Whisper grinned, well pleased with himself. "Trivialities out of the way, let's get onto the good stuff."

Tsunade nodded distractedly.

Whisper grinned cheerfully. "The Snake-Guy, who shall from now on be referred to as simply 'Snake', came in and said something about something belonging to him. I motioned for Gaara to take Hina-chan and go get back-up, which he did. Gaara and Hina-chan disappeared out the door and Snake made a break for Uchiha Sasuke, who happened to be the person I taped to the chair, only to be deterred by Itachi, who was still in the bedroom for some reason." Whisper continued grinning like a loon, all the while under the impression that everyone but himself had lost him ages ago and were blinking stupidly behind their masks. "I then proceeded to explain to the Snake why Itachi would bother saving such an ugly little brat. Naruto moved around Snake while he was distracted with Itachi and myself and, ahh, well…" Whisper rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Tsunade's amber eyes narrowed dangerously. "'And, well…' what?"

Whisper mumbled something under his breath.

Tsunade growled. "What was that? I can't hear you."

Whisper gave a very fake smile. "Why don't you wait for the forensics report? It'll probably be less gory." The woman looked like she was about to speak again, so the fox quickly continued. "Anyway, I think the Kyuubi no Yoko was in control at the time because I kind of got the impression of someone else and he sounded totally different when he spoke to me."

Tsunade stood and slammed her hands on the table. "What do you mean, when he spoke to you?"

Whisper shrugged, inwardly relieved they weren't going skitz about the Great Fox's appearance. "He said he wanted to talk to me again later because his presence was causing strain on Naruto's body."

Tsunade had calmed down considerably and now appeared to be contemplating what Whisper had said. "Why would he want to talk to you?"

Whisper gave a slow, mysterious smile. "The same reason Itachi does."

Tsunade narrowed his eyes. "And why is that?"

Whisper gave a blank, pleasant face. "That is personal and doesn't really affect the case in point. Only twelve people in living memory know about that and all but three are dead or close to it, which only leaves myself, Kyuubi and Itachi; though I'm pretty sure Kyuubi-sama only suspects." Whisper smiled and stood. "Now, if you would excuse me, I have an appointment with Hinata which has been put off too long."

The fox took off before anyone could consider stopping him.

Tsunade waved the ANBU back. "Let him go, but keep an eye on him. I believe he knows more than he lets on."

(Space)

In the depths of Irony's Closet™, Hope cackled evilly as the bindings on his wrists fall away. "First toilet; then…revenge!"

(Space)

In Konoha, Inari and Irony were stationed on a building overlooking the men's public baths with two pairs of binoculars when an uncontrollable shudder ran down their backs.

"Think someone's plotting against us?" Inari asked her compadrie.

"Uh-ha."

Quote: The Evil Overlord List No. 5: 'The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.'

Be sure to look this one up. I found it effing hilarious. ;-)