Usual Disclaimer
DPOV
In the past two weeks my life has been a real Russian tragedy.
Two weeks ago I left my beautiful Roza and whatever happiness I had in me went with her. I left her thinking that I was doing it for her; after all she was the one who told me to take Tasha's offer. But I was the stupid idiot who listened and did exactly what she said.
I don't even remember what led me to doing it. I thought I was protecting her but maybe I was scared. Scared of what this beautiful woman did to me every time I looked into those eyes I loved so much. I didn't know why I loved them at first but then it dawned on me. The reason I loved her eyes so much was because I loved HER so much. I knew that I couldn't live without her because she's my everything.
But how can I expect her to take me back after what I did to her two weeks ago
-----Flashback-----
-----Two Weeks Ago-----
I was in the gym waiting for my Roza to walk through the door…
WAIT, I have to stop calling her that or this is going to be even harder.
I have to keep reminding myself that I'm doing this for her. All I seem to do is hurt her. Knowing that we can't be together and leading her on with those kisses… those kisses that make my heart race faster than I ever thought possible… STOP IT! I can't keep hurting her like this. I have to tell her that I'm leaving and maybe she'll be able to have a normal life.
"Hey Comrade" said an angelic voice behind me.
Startled, I turned around to look into the face of the person who owned my heart completely, my Roza.
"Hey" I said in an almost broken voice. I tried to cover it up but she picked up on it, she always could.
"Is something wrong?" She said, concern lacing that beautiful voice.
I closed my eyes to try and compose myself. When I opened my eyes again she was standing in front of me. Just being this close to her made my body ache for her touch and as if she was reading my mind, she reached up with her hand and touched my cheek. Her touch was so warm and gentle. It sent shockwaves down my spine just from that one touch and before I could control my body, it slowly started to lean in towards her.
She picked up on my body movement because her hand then moved behind my neck and pulled me towards her in a kiss that felt better than it ever has before. As our mouths moved as one, I couldn't help but realize that this will be the last time I get to kiss her, the last time I get to hold her. And with that realization, I pulled her closer to me making sure that there was no space between us. I needed to be close to her, but I also knew that this was wrong.
Reluctantly I pushed her away. We were both trying to catch our breathes from that amazing kiss and as I looked into her eyes, those eyes I loved so much, those eyes that showed so much love for me, I knew that they would soon be filled with sadness and hatred. Sadness and hatred towards me because I'm the one who will put them there.
I took a step back away from her. I realized what I had to do and knew that I had to tell her.
I tried to tell myself that it was like ripping off a bandage. But this bandage would most definitely leave me dead inside. I took a deep breath and exhaled while trying to put my guardian mask up.
I then looked her right in the eye and told her the one thing that will pain me to tell her, "I'm leaving Rose." I said in a low whisper. She didn't hear me so I repeated it louder.
She looked at me in disbelief at first. Then she took in my facial expression and her face showed hurt, sadness, and anger. "What? You're leaving? Why?" She said in a shaky voice.
"I'm leaving to take Tasha's offer."
"You're serious?"
"Yes. I'm trying to do what's best for you, I don't want to hurt you-"
"You don't want to hurt me?" she screamed. "If you really didn't want to hurt me you wouldn't be leaving me. How could you think this is the best for me?"
"Roza, I-"
"DO NOT CALL ME THAT! You are not allowed to call me that anymore."
"Rose I'm sorry. I'm doing this so that you can have a chance of a normal life."
"My life can never be normal Dimitri." She had tears streaming down her face by this point and she was shaking. Then before I knew it she collapsed on the ground. I ran to help her but as soon as I got close she sprang back up and gave me a look of pure hatred. I knew right then and there that whatever there could have been between us was destroyed. And I was the cause of it.
"Rose, I know you must hate me-"
"You think" she snapped.
"Alright I deserve that but Rose I want you to stay away from Ivashkov, I know his type and I don't want him to take advantage of you."
"Adrian could never make me feel as cheap as you've made me feel right now." Venom dripping off of every word.
"When have I ever-"
"You were just kissing me not even ten minutes ago and now you're telling me that you're leaving and that you're never coming back because you would rather run off with some scar faced bitch." I flinched "And to think I believed you when you said you loved me"
"Rose how could you think that I never-"
"Don't lie to me Dimitri. I know that you never loved, and you know what? I hate you and I never want to see you again. Have a nice life with her Guardian Belikov." And then she reached up, grabbed my shoulders, and thrusted her knee in my crotch. I doubled over in extreme pain but knew that I deserved it for what I did to her. I watched her as she ran towards to gym doors. And just as I heard the doors open I heard her call my name and when I looked up she told me to rot in hell.
I knew that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life and all I wanted to do was run after her and hold her in my arms. But I realized that this had to happen, I just hope that she lives a happy life despite how miserable I feel. Only she could do this to me.
-----End Flashback-----
That day something in me died.
Every time I close my eyes I see her face. That face that held so much hurt and sadness. All I do is replay the entire scene in my head over and over again and I realized that what she did to me wasn't enough. I deserved to die for what I did to her. But what really hurt was the phone call I got from Rose's friend, Lissa, about a week later.
-----Flashback-----
-----One Week Ago-----
The moment I saw that it was Lissa who had called me, I knew something had to have been wrong. And I was right.
"Dimitri, its Lissa." She said
"Yes, hello princess, it everything alright?"
"No Dimitri, everything isn't alright."
Lissa told me how Rose has been locked away in her room refusing to see anyone and how she refuses to eat. I thought that maybe she was really hurt and I asked if she was alright and she told me how she was fine now only because Alberta's been force feeding her every day.
Hearing her say that Rose nearly starved herself to death killed me inside. I couldn't believe I was putting her through that. Realizing who I was talking to, I told her that I was upset because Rose was my student and that I was worried about her. I knew that Rose never told Lissa about us and I didn't want to put Rose through more pain.
But then she told me that Rose told her about us. I let her know how truly sorry I was for leaving Rose. I told her that the only reason I left was because I thought I was protecting her. It nearly killed me to know that I almost killed the very person I loved most in this world. The only thing that could hurt worse than living without my Roza was living in a world where she no longer existed.
I realized then that I no longer wanted to be away from her. I knew I had to go back, back to the only thing that could give me life again. I told the princess that I would come back to the academy as soon as possible. I had a few things to take care of first.
As soon as I hung up with Lissa I felt arms wrap around my shoulders.
"Who was that sweetheart?" Tasha whispered into my ear in a low voice.
I then shrugged her arms off of me trying to ready myself to tell her that I can't be her guardian or her boyfriend.
"Dimitri, I realize that you're upset about leaving the academy but it's been a week. You've cut yourself off from everyone, even me. When we go out, you're in strict guardian mode all the time, never showing emotion. Then when we're here at home you never come out of your room. You're like a ghost and you're making me feel like you don't love me."
"Tasha we need to talk, sit down." I told her. She then sat on the coach where I was just sitting wearing a very wary look on her face. "What about Dimka?" she asks me.
"Don't 'Dimka' me Tasha. I'm trying to tell you something important."
"Dimitri, you can tell me anything, I love you."
"That's what I need to talk to you about. Tasha, I don't care for you that way."
"What are you saying?" she asked with watery eyes.
"I'm saying I don't love you Tasha. I never have and it was wrong of me to make you think I did."
"Well if you don't love me then why did you become my guardian?" tears finally spilling from her eyes and streaming down her face.
I knew that I had to be completely honest with her, well as honest as I could be. She deserved at least that much.
"I became your guardian because I was trying to get over a woman." Not just any woman though, I added to myself mentally.
"What woman?" she asked snapping her head at me.
I didn't know what to say so I just stayed silent. She apparently wasn't going to stop pushing because she then stood up and started walking towards me with a slight bit of anger in her eyes.
"Answer me Dimitri. Who is she?" she paused then said, "Is she the reason you don't love me, is it because you love her instead?"
"She's not the reason I don't love you Tasha, we're just friends. But yes, I do love her, more than anything in this world." and as I said it her eyes flared with so much anger.
"Then who is she?" I stayed silent and she grew angrier "Tell me now god d*** it! I deserve at least that much."
Again I said nothing and then she said, "Fine then if you won't tell me by choice, you'll tell me by force."
And before I knew it, something flicked in her eyes and I felt numb. Then she asked the question again in a low, irritated voice. And without controlling my mouth or voice to doing anything it said, "Roza" almost mechanically.
She gasped at the answer I gave and it left her in a daze so I was then able to shake off the compulsion she just used on me.
"How dare you use compulsion on me Tasha?"
"How dare I? How dare you? You're willing to give up what we have for her. Dimitri, she's 17 years old and a dhampir. How can you possibly say you love her?"
"Because I do Tasha. I love her so much; it is killing me inside to be without her. And I know she's hurting too which is why I'm going back to her-"
"Wait. You're leaving me to be with her" she said the last word with so much disgust "Dimitri you can't be serious, what kind of relationship can you possibly have with her?"
"I don't know Tasha; all I know is that I can't live without her any longer. We can figure all that stuff later if she even takes me back. But even if she doesn't I won't stop trying until I have her back in my arms." I then started towards my room to grab the bag I never even bothered to unpack.
"Fine, go, but don't you dare come back here you son of a b****!" I'll admit that I deserved that but what she said next sent me over the edge. As I was on my way out the door she yelled, "Have fun with your SLUT of a girlfriend!" I then slammed her up against the wall next to the door.
"If you have something against me Tasha, fine. I deserve that; you can call me names, yell at me, and hit me, whatever. But you will NOT talk about her that way in front of me, is that understood? She has not done anything to you because I was never yours and I will never be yours." Then I walked out of the house slamming the door behind me but right before I did, I thought for sure I heard Tasha mutter something along the lines of, "One day you will be."
But whatever she said is of no importance to me, right now all I care about is my Roza and getting back to her as quickly as possible.
-----End Flashback-----
So now I'm on a plan headed back to the academy. I had talked to Alberta the other day asking if I could possibly have my job back. She said that I could have it back if I wanted it so I took it as soon as she offered. But she was surprised that I would want to come back after having the offer I had. I couldn't tell her the real reason I was coming back so I lied saying it was because of me simply not wanting to be with Tasha in that way. It wasn't a complete and total lie but a lie none the less. I hated having to lie but I would protect my Roza no matter what the cost.
Alberta had sent one of the academy's jets to pick me up in California, which is where Tasha and I had been living, oh well. But it was easier that way then to have to buy a plane ticket and go through all of that especially with the whole me taking a silver stake through security. It wouldn't have ended well.
Plus the princess said that she wanted to meet me after I got off the plane. She said the Rose didn't know that I was coming and that she wanted to keep it a surprise, which I had no objection to, but Lissa had also mentioned that she wanted to have a word with me before. Again I had no objection. I appreciated Lissa for wanting to protect Rose from being hurt again, although I fully plan on never being that stupid ever again. I never want to put Rose through anything like this again, her or me.
"Please fasten your seatbelts, the plane will be descending into St. Vladimir's Academy very shortly, thank you." The pilot announced over the speaker. I quickly fastened my seatbelt getting excited at the thought of seeing my Roza after a whole two weeks. Being without her was torture and now I'm finally going to see her.
"Я поступающих моего Roza, просто провести по. Я уверен, поступающих," (I'm coming my Roza, just hold on. I'm coming.)
I just hope she'll take me back.
TPOV
I watched as he stomped out the door.
"One day you will be." And then he slammed the door behind him. That was the last time I saw him. After that night I was so upset. I knew I had to get back at him, both of them somehow.
If he thinks he can treat me like this then he is so wrong. I'll hurt him the only way I know how, by attacking his poor little Rose. Then he'll have to come back to me.
But how do I do that, I thought. I can't physically harm her, one because she can kick my ass despite my fighting skills and two because Dimitri will never let anyone get close enough to hurt her. So then that only leaves me with one option left, emotional harm. And I know just how to do it.
I need her phone number, maybe Christian will have it. I then got my cell phone out and dialed 1 on my speed dial.
Ring…..Ring…..Ring…..
"Hello?" asked Christian.
"Hello Christian, it's your Aunt Tasha, I was wondering if I could ask for a favor?"
"Hey Aunt Tasha, what do you need?"
"I was wondering if you had Rose's phone number by any chance."
"Ahh, yeah, why?"
"I just have to ask her about something, that's all." I said trying to sound innocent, which I obviously must have because he then gave me her number. The plan was in motion. You'll pay Dimitri.
After saying good-bye to my nephew and hanging up, I immediately dialed Rose's number. Ring….. I swear that little whore is going to pay for taking Dimka away from me. Ring….. I hope she rots in hell. Ring…..Bye bye Roza.
"Hello….."