A Day in the Life

November 14th

I am a bad person. The lowest of the low. The scummiest of scum. I have acquired an Aston Martin - a lifelong ambition - but I don't feel good about it.

Popped along to the hospital to have my cast removed this morning at ten past eleven. The boss and I agreed it would be safest if he stayed in the hotel room until I got back. This was most definitely a stroke of genius, as I received a text from Itachi just as I was about to leave, letting me know of his intentions of accompanying me to the hospital. I replied and said that would be fine, pretending to be surprised that he was in Konoha. It seems he has given up trying to catch us in the act and has fallen back on Plan A: keeping us apart at all costs.

When I arrived at the lobby, Itachi was already there, sitting cross-legged on the big, squashy sofas by the reception desk leafing through a six month old copy of Cosmopolitan. He had bought a car to use for the day and offered to give me a lift to the hospital. I said, "Thanks very much, Itachi, that's awfully kind of you" and we walked round to the car park.

"Where's your car?" I asked, looking around for a respectable-looking Herz hire.

"Over there," Itachi said, pointing to one of the most beautiful cars I have ever clapped eyes on.

It was an Aston Martin Vanquish - a truly stunning, stunning work of art. While circling the vehicle in a daze, I openly drooled over the flawless design, the retractable wing-mirrors, and the tasteful, full-grain leather interior.

"You bought this just for today?" I asked my brother incredulously.

Itachi smiled slightly and shrugged. "It was on order for someone else, but I offered over the odds. I needed a vehicle."

"What are you going to do with it when you go back to Akatsuki?" I said, marvelling at my brother's flippancy when it came to his finances.
Itachi shrugged again and got in the car. I followed suit and when we were clear of the car park, Itachi floored it. Despite haring along the Konoha infrastructure at a frightening speed, because Itachi is a very careful and meticulous driver, we reached the hospital in very good time, suffering no physical trauma along the way.

Now, I don't mind admitting that I was a little apprehensive when I was called into the cast-removing room. Having never broken any bones prior, visions of lasers and hacksaws being manhandled by deviants posing as doctors danced through my head. Imagine my surprise when I encountered not a vile instrument of torture, but a rather funny little cross between a handheld blender and a pizza-cutter. The kindly, middle-aged nurse held my hand and cooed over me while her male colleague removed the cast by slicing the pizza cutter straight along, halving it in two.

As soon as the bandages were peeled away, an offensive odour wafted up to besiege my nostrils. I looked down to behold my newly-healed arm in all its stinky glory: flaking, incredibly hairy and smelling like Shikamaru's favourite trainers. Well... maybe not that bad. The smell of those things can choke a donkey. I wrinkled my nose in distaste, and the kindly nurse assured me that with a good scrub, things would be back to normal in no time. They fixed me up with a cotton sling and after telling me to gently exercise my arm, they sent me on my way.

Itachi was there waiting for me when I got out, reading the same issue of Cosmopolitan he had just put down at the hotel, though this one was a hospital copy and looked as though it had been repeatedly chewed on by several screaming children.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Absolutely!" I replied, rather cheerful despite my stinky arm. "Where to? You fancy something to eat?"

"I suppose so," Itachi said. "Where would you like to go?"

"Your call," I said, feeling generous.

This was a mistake, because we ended up at the dango stall getting natto and sweets. I'm more a savoury man, myself, but anything to keep Itachi away from the hotel for a while longer. We bought our food to take away, and we walked along to the public park and sat down by the duck pond to eat. Between the gentle stench of my brother's natto and rice and that of my less pungent arm, it's a wonder no one passed out. Itachi isn't the biggest talker, so we munched away in a companionable silence. I spotted a skater boarding along the path, travelling at a decent speed, so I threw out a stick in front of him and he went flying, headfirst, arms pinwheeling, into a thorn bush. Itachi laughed. I laughed. The skater's friend threw us a filthy look. We laughed at him too.

It occurred to me then that, against all odds, it is in fact possible for me to get along with my brother. This, of course, depends upon a) neither of us really speaking to one another b) not being placed in a competitive environment, and c) the presence of another to mock and bully. One of my fondest memories of Itachi is when we teamed up to take down his best friend, Shisui. I was but a little nipper at the time, full of the joys of life, and wished to make mischief. I planned to sabotage Shisui on his way home from buying groceries for his mum and hid behind a trash can to lay in wait. Itachi spotted me and asked what I was doing. I informed him of my diabolical scheme. He said, "Sounds like fun. I'll help you," and we took a trash can each.

When Shisui eventually rounded the corner, his hands full with carrier bags - god help him - I leapt out and grabbed him by the legs and Itachi tipped the trash can, overflowing with rancid garbage, over his head. Then we took sticks and started banging on the can, and when he was thoroughly disorientated, we tripped him up and rolled him along the street. By the time we had finished, Shusui was crying and covered in evil-smelling garbage juice. We never even got in trouble for it because Itachi forced him not to tell.

Thus, hazy-eyed and lost down memory lane, I began to feel not quite as ill-disposed towards my brother as is my wont. Memories of his recent bouts of almost psychotic protectiveness began to fade into the background and I even offered him my last dango ball which he graciously accepted.

For quite a while, we simply sat there in silence and watched the ducks gliding across the rippling surface of the lake. It was peaceful. It was relaxing. It was, dare I say it, almost enjoyable. Itachi had to ruin it all, though, by opening his mouth.

"Sasuke," he began, his chin resting on his knees, staring out across the water, "do you know how hard it is to be perfect all the time?"
This seemingly harmless sentence was uttered in such a solemn and matter-of-fact manner that it caught me completely off guard. I felt my forehead wrinkle in puzzlement as I sought clarification as to whether my brother really was that arrogant.

"What do you mean?" I said.

"It's such a burden," Itachi replied tonelessly, picking up a stone and skimming it, aiming for and successfully concussing a passing duck. "Everyone expects so much from me. I'm practically running Akatsuki single-handed..." A long pause followed, then a complete change of tack as he felt compelled to add, turning to look me straight in the face, "You know why I'm doing this, Sasuke."

In the words of Ino Yamanaka: "Yah, like, duh!"

Of course, I did not actually say that. Instead, I opted for, "You thought the boss came with me, and you don't want me to be alone with him. Is that right?"

"That is exactly right," Itachi said gravely. "I'm thinking about your future, Sasuke. What would happen if he were to become bored with you? I'll tell you. You would be tossed aside like an old glove, you may be sure of that - and as a consequence, your career and your prospects would suffer greatly."

Suddenly, visions of Kabuto - desperate, pathetic and homicidally jealous - swam in front of my mind's eye. What if the boss got bored with me? What if he had become bored of that Kimimaro guy and tossed him out on his ear? Would I end up the same way? Most importantly, if he drafted someone in to replace me - would I end up like Kabuto?

"I want to protect you from that Sasuke," Itachi went on, and he rustled around in his rucksack, unearthing the keys to the Aston Martin. He looked me straight in the eye, fixing me with an intimidatingly intense gaze, and said, "You may have the car if you promise me one thing."

"W-what's that?" I asked, even though I knew fine well what was coming.

"That you swear to me you are not seeing Orochimaru."

Now, it wasn't that I was setting out to lie to my brother or anything. It's more that I was terrified of how he might react if I admitted that not only was I seeing the boss, but that I had been for over a month now and that he was probably waiting for me at the hotel right at that moment with intent to molest as soon as I stepped foot through the door. The pressure I was under - it was immense. Itachi was blackmailing me, pure and simple. You might understand, then, why I did what I did.

I said to my brother, unflinching, "I swear to god, Itachi... I am not seeing Orochimaru."

Itachi surveyed my face for a prolonged moment, no doubt checking for any visible signs of deceit. Despite the fact that I was about to break into a cold sweat, he appeared to find none, as he smiled at me a few seconds later and tossed the keys at me. "Would you mind giving me a ride back to the hotel then, Sasuke?" he asked. "It's quite a bit away and I don't fancy walking."

"Sure!" I squeaked, the guilt already consuming me from within.

Itachi was fairly cheerful (by his standards) on the way back to the hotel. I think he has fallen for my horrendous lie hook, line and sinker. This ensured that I did not enjoy one minute of my first time in the heavenly Aston Martin. My newfound affection towards my brother evaporated in an instant. I wanted to punch him for putting me in this position and making me feel this way.

Eventually, we wandered back into the lobby. This was when everything started to go horribly wrong. In a misguided attempt to remain calm and make cheerful conversation, I asked Itachi, "So, what are your plans for tonight then?"

"Nothing much," he said. "My flight back to Otogakure leaves in a few hours. We could always go up to your room for a bit and sit."

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

A black cloud of dread and despair descended upon me. The boss was up there. Now, it was certain. Itachi would see straight through my lie and the result of that would be two shallow, unmarked graves found by a random dog walker two weeks hence on the outskirts of the Forest of Death.

"Err... what's wrong with your room?" I said thickly as my throat started closing up (probably anticipating my imminent death by asphyxiation).

Itachi fixed me with a calculating look. "Well, I assume since you are Orochimaru's personal assistant, he would at least supply you with an acceptable suite. I wish to spend my last few hours in Konoha in comparative comfort, and your room will doubtless be better suited for this purpose than mine. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, no, no! Of course not. Not at all," I shrieked, on the verge of hysteria as I fumbled around for the keycard. "It's on the top floor. We'll have to take the elevator."

And so I broke a new personal record for "Longest and Most Awkward Elevator Ride". The muzak did nothing to calm me in the face of imminent doom as I rocked and forth on my heels, whistling a manic little ditty. Itachi was cool as a cucumber and about as readable. I think I must have also set a new precedent for "Longest and Most Awkward Walk Down a Hotel Corridor." By the time I was faced with the dread portal that was once the nondescript hotel room door, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating like mad - so much so that I had difficulty getting the keycard to work.

"Sasuke, you're doing it too quickly," Itachi intoned.

Then it occurred to me.

I was not doomed yet. The innocent, little keycard held the key to my salvation (no pun intended). I now had a chance to at least warn the boss that Itachi was here...

"Oh dear!" I exclaimed deliberately and a little too loudly, slapping my forehead. "This keycard doesn't seem to be working! Perhaps you'd like to try, Itachi...?"

"Give it here then," he said as he deftly plucked the card from my hand, deactivating the lock in one swipe.

The door swung open. I closed my eyes as I felt Itachi brush past me. A few intensely nerve-wracking seconds passed and then...

"My, my, Sasuke. This is a nice room. Aren't you coming in?"

I sagged with relief and silently thanked whichever deity was watching over me. The boss had either heard me and had hidden himself away, or he had left the room at some indeterminate point earlier on in the day. Either way, I was saved, and I ironed my face, stood up straight, put on a smile and poured Itachi a glass of orange juice from the minibar. I handed him the boss's Big Book o' Existentialism and steered him firmly towards the balcony because my arm was starting to itch again and I was aching for a nice, hot shower.

When Itachi was firmly ensconced in the boss's big comfy chair on the balcony, I went back inside and headed straight for the towel cupboard. I had to bite back a scream when I saw the boss hiding inside it. He said nothing, but handed me a towel, smiling a very ominous smile that said, "You will be in so much trouble when I get you alone." Then he pulled the door shut and I was left to totter over to the bathroom, clutching at my chest. I swear all this constant terror is not good for my health. If it's not Itachi, it's the boss - and if it's not the boss, it's Itachi. I should seriously consider jacking in all this corporate stuff and rent out a little shack in Kirigakure and fish for a living instead. It's how Kisame started out, after all.

I had my shower (did not enjoy it one bit because I kept having to peek my head out the door in case Itachi came inside) and I spent the rest of the few hours gazing at Hokage mountain and watching Itachi read. Eventually, Itachi laid down the book and announced that he would be leaving to catch his plane. I have never felt so relieved in my life. Before he left to pack, he grabbed my shoulder as I was showing him out, right in front of the towel cupboard, and repeated his solemn conditions. "Sasuke, you must not see Orochimaru. I am doing this for your own good. You know what I am saying is true..."

I could only imagine what the boss must have been thinking in there, but I managed to crack a weak smile in return. "Of course, Itachi. I know it is."

He smiled at me approvingly and then he left. As soon as the door had shut behind him, I slumped against it and slid to the floor, a nervous wreck. I heard the boss whisper from the towel cupboard, "Is he gone?" When I replied that, yes, Itachi was gone, he emerged from his hidey-hole massaging his neck.

"Honestly, Sasuke-kun," he snapped, "that is quite possibly the stupidest thing you have done yet. What on earth possessed you to invite him here? I don't know what influence you are working under, but it certainly is not—"

At that point, something inside me snapped. My mind and emotions were in turmoil. My heart was fluttering and I felt sick. There was no way in hell I could have dealt with a strop from the boss on top of everything else. So, in the middle of his rant, I calmly stood up, ignoring him completely - even when he followed me into the bedroom, shouting at me even more for doing so - picked up my laptop and locked myself in the bathroom. He tried shouting at me through the door for a while, but he seems to have given up now and gone to bed.

I need time to think.

I keep thinking about Kimimaro and Kabuto.

What if Itachi is right? What if I am just another notch in his bedpost. I don't think I could take that...

November 15th

I ended up falling asleep in the big, round Jacuzzi bath with my mouth open and my laptop sitting beside me. Woke up to find the boss perched on the edge of the tub, looking down at me with his arms folded in his lap. I jumped when I saw him and scrabbled backwards, almost crushing my computer in the process.

"How did you—?"

"I picked the lock, Sasuke-kun," the boss answered.

"Oh..." I said, somewhat lamely as I folded my knees into my chest and hugged them. I chose to stare at my feet - anything so I wouldn't have to look the boss in the eye.

"Sasuke-kun," he began, "I know you don't like me doing it, since you have clearly managed to persuade Amachi to install hide folders software, but I must confess that I perused your latest journal entry while you slept."

I said nothing. I couldn't have, even if I'd wanted to. He knew everything now, anyway, so what was the point?

"I was going to leave you a message, but I felt it would be more courteous to tell you in person..."

I flinched as I felt him lean over and kiss the top of my head.

"You are not just another notch in my bedpost, Sasuke-kun," he whispered. "Admittedly, yes, I may be promiscuous - but I am exclusively promiscuous. Kimimaro-kun left me - it was not the other way around. And as for Kabuto? Well, yes, he is attractive enough in his own way, but he is not the one for me, and I think he knows that..."

My heart was pounding, and butterflies had made a rather grand entrance into my life, fluttering and flitting about in my stomach, causing me serious grief. I had totally frozen up. I couldn't speak. Was the boss actually telling me he loved me? No... It couldn't be that. He wouldn't say it. He would never say it... but maybe... just maybe?

His hand caressed my cheek briefly - a glancing, gentle touch - before he rose and paced to the door. He halted by the doorframe and rested his hand upon it. "Sasuke-kun," he said, with his back to me, "your brother is wrong. I would never toss you aside like an old glove. You are the one who cares whether Itachi discovers our liaison - not I. Personally, I would much prefer it out in the open. It doesn't affect me at all..."

It was then that I realised. The boss really didn't give a shit about Itachi. He was doing all of this for me.

"Whatever you decide to do, I will not attempt to stop you, but..." he added, "if you are the sort of person who would value a car over and above any sort of meaningful relationship, then I do not believe you deserve to be happy."

And then he left, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click.

For a while, I just sat there in the hot tub, completely and utterly stunned. It may sound shallow or cruel to say this, but I had no idea the boss had... well... feelings. Ever since I've known him he's always been impatient, demanding, spoiled, fickle, vain, capricious, arrogant and sometimes downright vicious, but never...

I can't even say it. I've tried typing it three times. It looks wrong on paper. It's just wrong, period. The boss is never like this...

Is he?

LATER: I am on the couch, typing this up and having a cuddle with the boss. He's watching Millionaire again. That show seems to have really taken off. Zabuza and Haku will be rolling in it, no doubt.

I expect you're wondering just how I managed to bring about this blissful image of reconciliation. Well, let's just say it involved several boxes of tissues and lots of embarrassing snivelling on my part.

I had sat in the bathroom for another half an hour after that, thinking about what the boss had said to me, and it dawned that I would willingly crush the Aston Martin into a thousand tiny pieces rather than let the boss get away from me. This was somewhat surprising, as I really, really, really love Aston Martins. Logically, it followed, therefore, that I must like the boss more.

Having realised this, I leapt from the Jacuzzi and burst out into the hallway. I entered the living area at a run to find the boss curled up on the sofa, reading the book Itachi had put down only a short time ago. He looked round when he saw me.

Once again, I completely froze. I shuddered to a halt and just stood there in front of him, shuffling my feet and looking sheepish.

"Come here, Sasuke-kun," the boss said quietly, opening his arms up as if to receive me.

I shuffled over to the sofa, and as soon as I sat down, I felt his arms close around me and I burst into tears. I know, I know. I am not proud of it, but there you are. I managed to choke out a few garbled confessions in between sobs, along the lines of, "I'm s-sorry... I-I really do like you... I mean, y-you're really funny and clever and you make me laugh - and you have a fantastic arse... I mean... I-I wish Itachi had never... God, I want to fucking punch him..."

The boss tried his best to be comforting, but that's one thing he's not really very good at. "Sasuke-kun," he said, stroking my hair, "I know you are upset but please stop crying. It does not become you, and you are making my kimono damp."

I sniffed, wiped my eyes and punched him hard on the shoulder. Completely unfazed, the boss smiled at me and kissed me. It was a nice kiss. I believe I shall remember it for a long time to come.

We had a discussion after that. The long and short of it was that the boss has agreed that we should keep our relationship secret from Itachi for my sake. Despite my renewed affection for the boss, the thought of Itachi finding out will still be the source of many a terrifying nightmare. It gives me the shakes just thinking about it. Especially now that I have in my possession an Aston Martin that technically does not belong to me.

All things considered, things have turned out rather well. Or, more accurately, things could have turned out so, so, so much worse. We're flying back to Otogakure tomorrow morning - in separate planes again - and work on my defence will begin in earnest. From what the boss was saying, it seems like I'll be rehearsing conversations and learning lines.

Ah well. Better cut this short. Things are getting interesting on Millionaire. I think the boss and I may just be witnesses to the first ever ten-million Yen prize-winner. After that, I plan to pounce. It is our dirty weekend, after all...

Will write later!

Phew! I think that chapter was a long one - possibly the longest yet. Though I must say... Poor, little Sasuke-kun. Orochimaru and Itachi are both fighting for him, pulling him one way and the other. He's all messed up.

On other news... thank you so much to everyone who has ever left a review for this story. A Day in the Life has officially pushed the one-hundred mark, and I have no one else to thank but you guys. You are all too cool. Really. I'm thinking about penning a one-off missing moment to say thanks, but I haven't decided which one to do yet.

Thanks must also go out to those who left reviews for the last chapter: redjjojin (thanks very much for the comment - it entertains me, too, because it's such a fun thing to write!), Raspedra Twilight (don't worry about being late - it's nice just to know you're still reading. I love the concept of Itachi being overprotective, too. Makes me snigger something awful. He's quite the manipulator, though. I wouldn't mess with him), Simple-Minded Idiot (the trial is still going ahead and it's scheduled for November 23rd. Things will happen then, I promise you. Once again, you are quite right. I should have realised 'nymphomania' was reserved for women, with the whole 'nymph' aspect being quite the give-away. You made me track down the male equivalent, though: satyriasis. Obvious again, etymologically, but it doesn't have the same ring to it. You learn something new everyday, though!), ArilianaFireQueen (lol, Minnesota... made me chuckle, that did. You could perhaps pursue Sasuke, though you may eventually come up against the dreaded Aston Martin. If you could beat Itachi to supplying Sasuke with said vehicle, however, you'd be laughing!), danni quinn (Sasuke and Oro are in the clear - for now... Make of that what you will), Alix (your review did verily make me snort with laugher. I, the destroyer of Itachi's street cred? What a fantastic title! I shall use it with impunity. Alas, however, there is no fund to replace damaged computers. Perhaps it's best if one is set up. I don't think I could afford to go to court for multiple small-damages cases. Kakashi definitely still has his Sharingan. As you say - how else could he pull off such righteous moves?), Sakonster (Yup. I'm agreeing with you there. Itachi is pretty insane. XD Or maybe it's more a case of him being so incredibly sane that he has passed beyond and out through the other side - becoming the epitome of cold, efficient, android-like sanity?) OOH.look.A.Giant.Hippy (lol, pissed for the first time? Excellent, excellent. You must always make sure that there's someone to hold your hair back when you're feeling a little worse for wear. That is my one piece of advice), and Ironic (Yay! I have another reader. There's always room for more! Happy dance! Well, there's a lot more Sasuke-related swoonage going on in this chapter - and quite a lot more drama too. Sasuke's life is so messed up! Poor thing.)

Oh... one more thing...

OMG WTF KABUTO!?! (If you don't know... read chapter 356).