A Day in the Life
5th December
I suppose I'd better bring you up to speed. I have been back at work now for five days. This is a good thing, since it enables me to get away from Jiraiya, Kiku and Naruto. Yes, Naruto is here too, as Jiraiya is "working from home" at the moment and apparently cannot function without his PA. I must add that "working from home" should be read as "working from Oro's place" until it is safe for Jiraiya to return to Konoha, as Teuchi-san is still looking to kick his head in. I would laugh, but the man's probably looking to smack me about a bit over the frozen prawns stunt - so I won't, although it's hard to resist. Schadenfreude and I fit together like hand in glove, which might explain my rather bizarre love for television prank shows and those programmes where members of the public send in their home videos of friends and relatives grievously injuring themselves.
The terrible trio have taken up residence in the boss's house. This should not be a problem because, as I have noted before, the boss has a ridiculously large home - far larger than necessary for any one human being, no matter how many members of staff he needs to fix him tea in the morning. Therefore, one would think that it would be entirely possible for Jiraiya and Kiku to go about their daily business without coming into constant contact with the boss and myself.
So far, this has not been the case. For I cannot get a moment - one single measly moment - alone with the boss without anyone interrupting!
For example...
Incident #1 The first night Jiraiya and Kiku stayed over, the boss and I decided to chill out for a bit and went down to the little cinema he had built specially for himself on the second floor (it's so mind-bogglingly cool, you have no idea. The seats recline and there's a proper popcorn machine that makes salted popcorn!) We brought a duvet and a copy of The Goonies and settled down to watch it. Fifteen minutes into the film, Jiraiya came sauntering in, said "Kiku's off to— Oh man, I love this movie! Don't mind if I sit here, do you, Oro?" and promptly plonked himself down in the seat directly behind us. All the way through, he kept leaning over and talking, and thus any canoodling plans the boss and I had were thwarted. Jiraiya did, however, treat us to an interesting personal interpretation of the Truffle Shuffle, which didn't work because he's surprisingly buff. Must be all those hours he's putting in at the gym...
Incident #2 The boss and I were kept up pretty much all night when Kiku plucked up the courage to phone home. The conversation did not go well, lasting only long enough for her father to inform her, in no uncertain terms, that she had been effectively disowned, having brought shame upon the family. Kiku cried a lot that night, and because Jiraiya was on comfort duty, the boss and I were left to nod and look sympathetic. The boss tried to make tea, but he left in the leaves for too long and messed it up (he can delegate and run a huge company but cannot make a simple cup of tea; this continues to mystify me). I had to make it and ended up as the re-fill boy until Kiku finally decided to head off to bed. I had to get up at eight for work the next morning and when I don't get my eight hours of sleep a night, I get cranky.
Incident #3 Now, I don't want to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that the night before Naruto came, the boss and I were... interrupted... by Jiraiya because he wanted to know if he could borrow a spare razor. Jiraiya kept winking at the boss and nudging him every time they passed in the dining room after that, and he said "Evening, Sasuke" with such amused sleaze that it made me blush and scurry away, shamefaced.
And it's even harder to get a moment to myself - never mind with the boss - now that Naruto is here. Naruto, you see, needs special care and constant attention. He is incredibly hyper, and if he thinks you're ignoring him, even for a trifling nanosecond, he will act up so that your focus is where it should be. Upon him. Thus, for the past two days, I have been down at the pool playing with the floats and doing cannonballs; having balls fired at me at considerable speed in the squash court in the basement; locked in a fiercely competitive Halo 2 tournament in the rec room along with Kabuto (Kabuto won - he is far too good at Halo); and making white choc-chip cookies and annoying the kitchen staff by making an unholy mess. The elderly female head cook shouted us down because Naruto managed to clog up the industrial toaster with cookie dough. When questioned and threatened with a rolling pin, he confessed that he wanted to see whether the cookies would bake in the toaster quicker than in the oven. I slapped my hand over my forehead in exasperation and informed him that the toast rotates on a sort of conveyor belt-cum-grill device and that therefore all the gooey dough, as soon as the device made its first revolution, would fall through the bars. Naruto scratched his head in that sheepish way of his, giggled, and said, "Oh yeah. Sorry about that. My bad."
It was at this point that copious amounts of smoke began to curl up and out from the giant toaster and I grabbed Naruto hard by the arm, fired out an apology and bid a hasty retreat before things kicked off.
When I finally collapsed out of sheer exhaustion, informing Naruto that I could no longer function and that he should seriously consider investing in some amphetamines, he took to knocking on people's doors and running away. The third time he did it to the boss, the boss, I was told by a giggling Kiku, was lying in wait and he grabbed Naruto by the hair, hog-tied him and left him out in the hallway over night, having stressed to the staff that no one was to release him from his dressing gown cord bonds until he had learned his lesson.
Unsurprisingly, Naruto was not best pleased and he didn't speak to the boss next morning at breakfast. I took him out to Burger King for lunch, though, and he cheered up considerably after that. Perhaps Naruto's hyperactivity is no bad thing because all was forgiven and forgotten by the time dinner rolled around.
Right then. It's off to work for more Christmas party organising hell. I'm not sure how much further we're going to get on with this, because Kabuto and Karin were arguing over whether we should have garlic mushrooms as an option for the hors d'ouevre. I don't know why I volunteered for this in the first place. I hate committee work. This time, I'm bringing my i-pod along with me, I don't care if the boss yells at me for being unprofessional.
6th December
Ha. The boss didn't yell at me. In fact, he praised me for my genius, walked out in the middle of the meeting and came back with his own. The meeting was over pretty quickly after that, leaving the garlic mushroom issue yet to be resolved, because Suigetsu whipped his i-pod out and then suddenly we were all nodding our heads to our own different beats. It was almost like those silent disco tents you get at music festivals. We were all sent home early, probably because everyone present had reached the optimum "could not care less" threshold, hence the reason why I'm here in my apartment right now updating my journal.
About fifteen minutes ago, I decided to unleash my repressed chivalrous side and have volunteered to take Naruto and Kiku shopping at the Oto Mall, because Kiku has written up a list of things she needs to buy since she's going to be staying at the boss's place for a little longer that she had originally anticipated. Naruto is tagging along, too, because he has a list too, apparently. I dread to think what's on it. Probably a lot of DVDs, ska CDs and sugary sweets. Naruto is desperate to drive, but there's no way in hell I'm letting him near the Aston Martin. No way in hell. If he even touches it, I will not hesitate to kick him in the crotch. Yes, I am that serious. And I'll kick him hard, too.
LATER:
I knew that the shopping trip would take a turn for the worse as soon as Naruto showed me his shopping list. Kiku, thankfully, was buying essential girly things like scented candles, throws, photo-frames and cushions. Sensible things. Creature comforts to ease the painful transition from high-school daddy's girl to... well... Jiraiya's girl, living in a posh house and having to learn which utensil to use and when or risk facing the ridicule of house's vain, spoiled owner, who just happens to be her significant other's best friend. This I could understand. What I could not understand, however, was Naruto's need to purchase two 4" x 8" boards of plywood, a tractor tyre, a squeezy tube of UniBond No More Nails, nails, screws, a drill and six feet of rope.
While standing outside the mall, I tried to reason with Naruto, informing him calmly and logically that it would be impossible to fit the tyre and the plywood boards into the back of the Aston Martin. Naruto, incredibly, countered with logic, saying that it was possible to have both the plywood and the tyre delivered to the Oto Enterprises depot, at which point, he said with a huge grin, he would go and pick them up.
"Fine..." I said, feeling my blood pressure rising, "but what on earth are you going to do with a tyre that size? If I know you at all, it's just going to sit in the middle of your room, causing a nuisance and it's going to finally trip you up when you're on the way to the bathroom at midnight and you'll say, 'Sasuke, why did you let me buy that thing back then'"
Naruto smiled at me and raised a finger to his lips. "It's a seeeeeeeecret, Sasuke," he whispered in a sing-song voice. "And that just ain't gonna happen. Cos the tyre is the... the..." his forehead wrinkled in thought as he searched for the unfamiliar words, and then the proverbial lightbulb pinged "... oh yeah! The tyre is the piece-de-resistance!"
"Ooooh," Kiku giggled, clapping her hands together and making her multitude of plastic bracelets clatter. "I like surprises. Are you going to build something in your room, Naruto?"
"Can't tell," Naruto replied, grinning. "It's a secret."
"Well fine," I snapped, coming to the end of my tether after having traipsed around store after store searching for one particular brand of cinnamon candle. "We'll need to head to the hardware store and then Michelin. God knows what the hell you're going to do with them, but..."
And so we headed for the retail park wherein a Home Depot and a Michelin centre were housed. No further drama ensued, and the plywood, glue, nails, screws, drill, rope and tyre were purchased with the minimum level of fuss (apart from Naruto somehow ripping a hole in the bottom corner of a wholesale sized bag of hex nuts, which promptly avalanched and spilled out over the linoleum floor. I swear the look the store boy gave me just for being of Naruto's party could have killed a dead cow. It must have taken him ages to clean it all up. Ha. Serves him right for not getting a proper job.)
Eventually, his need for hardware sated, Naruto bounced back to the car and deposited his various bits and pieces in the trunk while I set about selecting the coordinates for home on the sat nav.
This is where everything went horribly, horribly wrong. I began to realise with a sinking feeling as I stabbed at the on button again and again with a desperate finger that I had not charged the damn thing before I left. A cold dread stole over me. I had never driven out so far from the compound before without the aid of my trusty navigational device. As Naruto jumped in the back and slammed the rear passenger door closed, I shut my eyes and attempted to recall the winding twists of tarmac that brought us here.
Needless to say, the journey did not go well. At all. Kiku said that I must have taken the wrong exit off Takeshita Street because the further I drove, the more dilapidated the surrounding houses became, the more graffiti appeared on filthy walls, the more throngs of slouching individuals in hoodies I saw, and the more desolate and hopeless the general, pervading atmosphere began to feel.
It was perfectly, terrifyingly clear.
I had driven into Downtown Otogakure.
Sweat started to bead on my forehead as I thought of all the terrible things that could happen to us. Carjacking, I must admit, was foremost in my mind, followed by shootings. Suddenly, every man, woman, child or mange-ridden stray dog was cast in a more sinister light. The shadows looked longer and darker, the alleyways like places muggers would gather, and the elementary school we passed like a breeding ground for murderers, rapists and gangsters. My hands gripped the steering wheel like a lifeline.
Naruto and Kiku, however, were supremely and irritatingly unperturbed by the whole experience - even though they knew I was utterly lost in a strange, rough part of town. They even started cracking jokes, which made me grind my teeth so hard it felt like they were going to weld together. The worst was yet to come, though.
As I drove at a fair pace down a random, dingy side street looking for a place to execute a hasty U-turn, Naruto (and I almost leaned over the seat and punched him in the mouth right there and then, I was so agitated) wound down the window and bellowed to a crowd of youths who had congregated on a stoop (as I have since been informed of its proper name): "HEY!! HEY THERE!! YEAH, YOU!! DO ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE HIGHWAY FROM HERE??
I could feel a panic attack coming on as Naruto leaned forward and hauled at the collar of my shirt and shook to get me to stop the car. "Dude, these guys will tell us where to go!" he said happily, as my chest began to feel uncomfortably constricted, making breathing something of a chore.
Then from across the road, my horrified eyes took in the sight of five surly-looking youths lumbering towards us, towards the car - towards my Aston Martin - and I had convinced myself that these hoodlums were going to do something terrible to me. The biggest one, sauntering at the head of the group, looked at least six foot four and was built like a tank. He had strangler's hands. My face started to tingle, and I had to unbutton the top button of my shirt. I repeated to myself the following mantra: "Deep calm breaths, deep calm breaths..."
But it wasn't helping.
I could only hear Naruto conversing with the loutish behemoth out the passenger window vaguely. This was because everything had started to sound buzzy. Even Kiku's squeal of delight was lost on me, bar a strange, detached bewilderment as to why on earth she should be so happy to make the acquaintance of a common thug. I must have went really pale, though, and was probably gripping the steering wheel a shade too hard (picture white-knuckle intensity), because I could hear, distantly, as though from the end of a tin can on a string, the six foot four stranger saying, "S'up wit 'im? He don' look so good."
It was at that point that I finally gave in to my panic attack. This consisted of me being promptly sick all over the dashboard and blacking out.
I woke an indeterminate time later in a strange, musty-smelling place in a strange, musty-smelling bed. It was obviously the room of a teenager, for the walls were covered in posters of half-naked women and bejewelled and furred hip hop stars. I could hear RnB music thumping through the wall. This caused me to scream, loudly and shrilly until Kiku came bounding into the room with a jangle of bracelets, followed by an older woman in a pink velour tracksuit who looked strangely similar to Kiku.
"Heyyyy, you're awake!" she said cheerfully, rocking back and forth on her heels.
"W-where am I?" I managed to croak out, pulling the covers up to my chin. "And who's that?"
"This is my auntie Reiko and, like, big freaky coincidence, we're at her house," she replied, before cracking her chewing gum so loudly it made me flinch.
"And how did we get here?" I asked slowly, not at all keen on hearing the answer.
"Yah, well, that's easy. You blacked out in the car and Isamu - that's my cousin, by the way, the big guy Naruto was talkin' to - said that you'd probably, like, just fainted or something, so he got in and gave us directions to auntie Reiko's."
I could feel myself beginning to tremble again as I asked, "W-who drove us here, Kiku?"
She replied, quite cheerfully, "Oh yah, that was Naruto.
"None of us knew how to drive a stick shift, though, so the engine kept making this, like, weird grindy noise. Naruto said it'd be okay, though, because the house was only two blocks away..."
I almost vomited.
"Kiku..." I croaked. "M- My phone. Where is it?"
"I put it on the chair with that nice suit jacket of yours, honey-pie," a voice, presumably Auntie Reiko's, replied.
Still shaking, I muttered a brief thanks, stretched out a hand and fumbled around until my fingers closed around my smooth-textured, soothingly familiar i-phone. Instantly, I scrolled through my phone book, found the boss's number and dialled. Then I coughed politely to indicate that I did not want an audience, and Kiku and Auntie Reiko left, the former shooting me several curious glances over her shoulder.
It took five rings for the boss to pick up. Our conversation went something like this:
The boss: "Sasuke... this had better be life-threatening. I am in the midst of a game of Halo with Kabuto and he has just executed a spectacular, textbook head-shot on my character, and I am not pleased."
Me: "Sorry, but I... I... I'm lost. I don't know where I am. Well... I know where I am, but I don't really know where I am. I mean... sorry, that doesn't make sense. I can't—"
The boss: "Wait a minute. You're rambling. Slow down, Sasuke-kun, take a deep breath and answer me. Where are you?"
Me: "Downtown Otogakure."
The boss: "What on earth are you doing there?"
Me: "I- I got lost on the way back from the retail park. The battery on... on my sat nav ran out. T- Took the wrong turn off Takeshita Street. Blacked out near a basketball court and ended up here at Kiku's Auntie Reiko's house."
The boss: "Wait a minute... You blacked out?"
Me: "Mmm... I had a panic attack."
The boss: "Are you alright?"
Me: "... no. Not really. I can hear rap music coming from outside. It's shaking the walls. I feel a bit sick."
The boss: "That's it. I'm coming to get you. What's the address?"
I shuffled out of bed and over to the window. The peeling sign on the wall opposite read "22nd Stree". There was a pit-bull tied to a post on the grassy square at the front of the house. Sharing this space was a rusty Toyota with no wheels, propped up on jacks.
Me: "It's 22nd street in the old Rice Quarter, I guess. There's a pit-bull out front and... and an old white Toyota with no wheels."
The boss: "Right. Thank you, Sasuke-kun. That's all I need. I will be there as quickly as possible."
And then he hung up, and I was left alone in the hideous bedroom. I took a few deep breaths to calm my shattered nerves and decided that I was well enough to get up, go downstairs and wait for the boss. So it was that I emerged tentatively from the tiny bedroom and into the hall, shaking off a mildewed football sock that had managed to become stuck to my left ankle. Navigating the stairs was a task in itself, as I was almost bowled over by several marauding hordes of children, ululating at the tops of their voices. The fact that they didn't even bat an eyelid at the presence of a stranger in their home was testament, I thought, to the fact that they were used to random folk turning up at any given moment.
When I finally reached the kitchen, I was greeted by Kiku, a gaggle of her female relatives (all with dyed blonde hair, I hasten to add. What is the compulsion there? Is blonde hair so wonderful? I mean, everyone knows that I am the most attractive individual out of Naruto and myself. Perhaps it's different for women. Ino is definitely the hottest piece of eye candy at Konoha-Suna, and Tsunade's not bad either. Then again, for some reason, the one the boss is always jealous of is Naruto, the blonde. Intriguing. I must ponder further upon this most mystifying of mysteries.)
A cacophony of infants of various ages were also present, and the instant I was steered into a chair, one of the rag-tag urchins made to clamber onto my lap. I do not like children, so I stiffened and attempted to remove the child, but every time I did, another one appeared, so I gave it up as a lost cause, and cringed inwardly when Auntie Reiko said, pointing at me with the lit end of her cigarette, "You sure are good with them kids, sweetie-pie. I'll be wantin' to be givin' you a call when I need a babysitter."
Everyone laughed. I managed a weak smile and prayed to god that the boss would arrive soon, inwardly cursing the horrible little perisher who was laughing and smooshing his sticky, crumb-coated fingers through my freshly washed hair.
To his credit, the boss did arrive pretty sharpish. Though, as is always the case with the boss, he can go nowhere without creating a commotion. The first inkling I had of his arrival was when Isamu, Kiku's big bruiser of a cousin, came charging through the back door shouting, "Momma! Momma! There's a big ol' fancy car out front, and that guy from the big company uptown is comin' inside!"
Sure enough, there was a knock at the door. Relief flooded me. One of the many feral children must have answered the door, because I could hear snatches of conversation between said child and the boss.
The boss: "Greetings, little... ahhhh—?"
Child of as-yet-unidentifiable sex: "Girl. I'm a girl, Mister."
The boss: "Ah. Of course. Hello then, little girl. I'm looking for a young man called Sasuke. He is at this house, I believe. Do you know where he is?"
Feral girl-child: "Dunno who that is. I don' even live here."
The boss: "He would be wearing a shirt and tie and smart black trousers. He has black hair and dark eyes—"
Feral girl-child: "Oh yeah. Him. Bird-butt head. He came downstairs. He's in the kitchen."
The boss: "Excuse me? Bird-butt what?"
Feral girl-child: "Bird-butt head, duh! His hair looks like the back of a bird's big, ole butt. The kitchen's through there, Mister. I gotta go."
Bird-butt head.
Bird. Butt. Head.
My cheeks flushed bright red and I had to fight had to repress the urge to rush out and kick the kid really, really hard in the face. I mean, how dare she? What does a kid know about fashion, anyway? The erect strands of hair at the back of my head are meant to represent soft, natural looking spikes - not bird feathers! My hair is clearly superior in every way - and, I might add, does not harbour lice (which hers probably does. Little bitch.) Kiku's aunt was obviously thinking along the same lines because she put a hand over mine, smiling, and said, "I think your hair's beautiful, honey."
Was it my imagination, or was she flirting with me? I bet she was...
Anyway, the boss chose that exact moment to enter the kitchen. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. I had to suppress a smile. The boss, you see, was dressed in full formal regalia: black kimono, white nagajuban, subtly patterned haori, clicky-clacky geta and fully accessorised. Of course, this is quite normal for the boss, and I'm used to seeing him all dressed up, but he looked rather tense and terribly out of place in Auntie Reiko's. I really don't think he knows how to turn it off.
"Sasuke-kun," he said, his eyes darting nervously all around the room, and, I noticed, taking in the flaking, nicotine-stained paintwork, "are you ready to leave?"
I nodded and stood up, my affection for the boss overriding the fervent desire to watch him twitch and pick his way through the neon, plastic debris on the kitchen floor, freshly strewn that morning by children.
"Thank you so much, Reiko," I said, with a fair amount of sincerity, because even though the rap music and the mildew creeped me out, who knows what might have happened if I had been left in an alleyway somewhere.
"No problem, honey," she said. "Always glad to help. Just be thankful our little Kiku was there."
"Yes," the boss began thoughtfully, "and I believe your son, Isamu, is also due a token of gratitude. The porter's job he was interviewed for - I shall see that he gets it."
This announcement sent a frission of excitement throughout the assembled, female occupants of the room, and they began to chatter excitedly. Reiko's jaw dropped. "Oh thank you, Orochimaru-sama!" she said. "Thank you so much! I'm gonna have to tell Isamu - he's gonna be so thrilled! He's out back with that blonde boy from Konoha listenin' to that music of his."
The boss inclined his head graciously, signalling the conversation was at an end. Then he took me by the arm and steered me out of the kitchen. "Kiku," he called out over his shoulder, "Jiraiya is expecting you back. Tell Naruto that we are leaving."
Kiku, who was bouncing what could have been an infant cousin on her knee with a wistful look on her face said, "Sure!" and, depositing the gurgling child on the floor, skipped outside to fetch Naruto. The boss said nothing to me as we made our way out, and the kids, funnily enough, seemed to stay away from him too, appearing to be content to stare at him with a mixture of awe and open-mouthed curiosity.
When we emerged out into the front garden (well, it was more a patch of grass at the front of the house) the pit-bull started barking and lunging at us. My nerves already shot to hell, I let out an involuntary whimper and hid behind the boss's arm (I'm definitely more a cat person). Naruto and Kiku were waiting for us by the Rolls. My beautiful car was parked haphazardly across the street. A thought occurred to me that made my blood run cold.
"Err... wait a minute," I ventured, as all heads turned towards me, "what are we going to do about my car?"
The boss smiled. "That's simple, Sasuke-kun," he said. "I am going to drive."
There was a strange, puzzled silence, broken only when Naruto voiced exactly what everyone else was thinking.
"You know how to drive?"
The boss turned his head slowly towards Naruto and fixed him with a cold, haughty stare. "And what exactly do you mean by that?" he inquired. "Of course I can drive. I think you'll find that there are a number of things that I know how to do, despite the fact that you have not witnessed me doing so."
Naruto giggled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Hee hee... sorry man. I knew you weren't useless."
The boss rolled his eyes and propelled me towards the Aston Martin. "Keys, Sasuke," he said, and I handed them over with a faint twinge of apprehension. "And you two get in the Rolls. My driver will follow behind until we get to the compound."
And there followed, with a screech of tyres and the smell of burning rubber, the most frightening car journey I have ever had the misfortune to experience in my life.
The boss said that he knew how to drive. He did not say that he knew how to drive safely. Let it suffice to say that he drives like Hidan, and that while rounding one particular hairpin bend, I thought that I was actually going to die. He ran red lights, did not check his mirrors before manoeuvring, almost killed two cyclists, never indicated and seemed compelled to drive at a constant speed of at least sixty miles per hour around bends while talking and changing tracks on the i-Pod.
By the time we reached the compound, I was so relieved to be alive that I couldn't quite muster up the strength to speak. The boss, on the other hand, was strangely perky.
"Ahhh... that was rather fun," he said brightly, having parked the car. "I haven't driven in such a long time. I rather miss it. Sasuke? Sasuke-kun, are you alright?"
I was so tense that actually couldn't straighten up to get out of the car. The boss had to help me and I was trembling slightly. We walked all the way down to his house, and I didn't say a word until the front door closed and I sank down onto the floor and whispered, hoarsely, "I want a bottle of wine. A whole bottle. And a DVD. And a blanket. And a teddy bear. Now. And if you even mention The Fast and the Furious, I swear to you I will not sleep with you for a month."
The boss, needless to say, got the message. One of his house staff even managed to get me the teddy bear. It's really cute - and cat shaped, too! I've decided to name it Montague, and it is my new favourite possession. The boss fell asleep during the DVD and he's cuddling it. Now that I'm feeling a bit better and more like my evil self, I am tempted to take a picture.
Yes... I think I will.
Oh... one second. Naruto has just texted me and... oh my god. I cannot believe he is going to... Read this.
"hi dude gng 2 block prty at Isamus. he invited me & kiku 2day. sgonna b out of dis fckin wrld im so ecxited!! jiriayas cmn 2 so dnt wrry bt us gttin bck. migt nt b bck til tmrrw morn tho lol. catch u l8r. get well dude."
I seriously cannot believe him. Well, on second thoughts, maybe I can. It seems like exactly the sort of thing Naruto would do. He has absolutely no sense of either suspicion or discretion. I swear he will make friends with anyone who says hello to him - and he will remember their face, name, where they live, facts about their family, interests in common - he just has an unerring instinct for it. I swear it's going to get him in trouble one of these days, when he makes friends with the wrong sort of person.
Ah well... at least I'll get some peace at last. Perhaps I should wake up the boss to celebrate?
Satire, and veiled, ironic canon references in A Day in the Life? Wha?? Since when? XD
Well, hello there! Long time no see. I'm sorry for the delay between this chapter and the last, but I'm afraid I was suffering from severe burn-out. Writing around 73,000 words in just under two months can do that to you. I've had a nice break now, though, so although the chapters won't be coming as quickly as they used to, I won't be stopping altogether. Huzzah! I'm pretty glad for that myself, as I still like writing this story. Hope all you guys are still here too...
On with the thanks!
danniquinn (Yes, Oro definitely does have some sort of PMS. I'm guessing it's more SBS, or Spoiled Brat Syndrome. The tempestuous rages are definitely a sign. I wish I could have gone to Lee's party too. I love giant jenga). Lisa (Thanks for the compliments, hee hee. And don't worry. Your knight in shining armour, armed with frozen prawns, will come!) SlythCommand (Too wet for fireworks? Sadness. I love fireworks. That's usually the story here in the UK, when we have our fireworks day in November of all times. Couldn't Guy Fawkes have chosen a more clement time? Silly rebellious man). missyserena214 (ha, yup! The party did get wild. I suppose. Even no illegal substances were imbibed. Ph33r the mighty buck wild power of teh prawns!!) Raspedra Twilight (Lol, yes, you should fear the prawns. They tend to fall from freezer doors and cause injury, either by tumbling down and whacking someone on the head or back, or lying in wait for some poor sap to slip on them. And if not thawed properly, they can cause acute food poisoning. Fear the prawns...) Voltra the Lively (glad you like the twist there. Kiku as the Ramen Man's daughter just sort of came to me in flash of momentary inspiration, while I was looking for ways to tie her to canon - and then the Lee's party scenario surfaced and I though... Jackpot!!) fiore777 (ahhh... thank you again for the uberly cool review! I'm looking forward to your Oro/Sasori fic muchly... oh yes... especially if there are to be pairings involved. I remain hopeful. And by the way, you gave me THE coolest idea in the universe when you casually mentioned in a PM about Sasuke liking cats - and you unwittingly helped solve a problem I've been having with this fic! Fuzzies and white chocolate for you, sirrah!) Lenis Vox (firstly, "urban chair fight". Lol. Seriously. I think Sasuke will have to use it at some point, and you can play a game of "Ahhhh! That's my line!! Plagiarism! Plagiarism! Secondly... your dream. It sounds HELLA AWESOME!! I love having weird dreams like that!) xXUrbanRegalityXx (Hee hee, cheers so much for the compliments. Sorry I didn't actually update soon, but I'll try more to in future. And the Ramen Guy is the most powerful force in the universe. Clearly, you shouldn't mess with him. XD) natwel (sorry I haven't updated for a while, but you'll know why from the little note at the top. Burnout isn't good. The writing starts to take over everything and you end up forgetting to perform maintenance tasks like eating and getting dressed in the morning. XD As I said, not good. Oooh... bitchy e-mail there concerning Oro. I take it you're not a fan?) Zinjah (Mayfair is the most expensive square on the UK edition of Monopoly. Seeing as I'm from the UK, I used it, as I'm not sure what streets the Japanese version uses. It's approaching December because... well, the story is nearing the end of November. XD)
Rambonata (hee, cheers for the kudos, tis much appreciated. Sorry I couldn't update that soon, but my little note at the top there explains why. Burnout is a bitch.) ChibiKeimei (Lol, people should learn to fear and respect the power of prawns. One salmonella infected prawn can take a grown man down in one shot. Oh yes. Glad you like the story, too, even though it's Oro/Sasu. I get that a lot, actually. I guess it's because the story is so ridiculous that it simply cannot rub people the wrong way. XD I'm glad you liked Lee too, and I'm chuffed that you've totally got that I was trying to portray him as canon-like as possible - being calm and forgiving and stuff. Yay!) Niver (Yay! Hello again! Yes, jenga is a never-ending source of comedy. Especially giant jenga. Although it's not so funny when the blocks fall on you. Luna-Lunak (woo! Four reviews! Thanks very much! It's nice to know all your favourite moments. Makes me smile. Some of them are mine, too, especially that little email from Deidara. I miss him in the manga already. He'll be popping in for the Otogakure Christmas party, though, next chapter, so expect some mayhem.) danni quinn (Oh, I feel guilty now. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, but... burnout, lol. It sucks muchly. Never want to have to go through that again. Hope you had a good time wherever you went!) natwel (lol, hello again. Twenty-one is here.. finally. Woo! XD) Espiroth (Hiya! Thanks for the review. Tis appreciated muchly. I think I must confess that chapter nine is one of my favourites, along with the one when Oro gets banged up in the cells because of Sasuke. The thought of him having a proper man cold is just... it's just comedy. XD) ArilianaFireQueen (Hello again! Nice to see you and glad you're back. The killer tan and blonde streaks sound rather pretty, I must say. I'm afraid I'm a typical pasty Brit, and probably wouldn't be able to tan even if I spent ten years making roads in Dubai.) Nozomi-Sama (Hello there! Thanks very much for the review for the last chapter. Tis a cool thing to do. I'm glad I made your parents think you're mad. It's all part of the service, and lol, the characters were meant to be OOC in the beginning, but somehow, they have taken on a few canon characteristics. So much so now that I don't quite know whether they're trying to be canon or not. The only one I know for sure isn't at all canon is Sasuke, but then I love writing him that way. Funnily enough, I'm not that keen on him in the manga, yet I've written a twenty-one chapter story from his point of view. XD)
Thanks again, guys! You rock!