A/N: The chapter that I'd written - the inevitable Mary Sue chapter - has been cruelly ripped away from me and scattered over an ocean breeze. No, I have no idea what I'm really on about either. For inspiration, I'd decided to take a look at the most recently updated fics. And so, it hit me.

Coming Back

I feel empty, lamented Amu, looking up at the moon. She was strolling home. Admittedly, where she was strolling home from or why she had been kept out until after dark is a mystery but nobody cares about that. Anyhow, back to Amu's morose thoughts. Oh, I feel so empty. I wonder why I feel so empty. Empty... Empty... Sounds like Humpty. Humpty Dumpty, who had a great fall. And all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. Wait, that's it! She halted suddenly in the middle of the street. A man that possibly could have been a rapist stopped and considered her as his next target. Then he shrugged and walked away - the girl was obviously unstable and he wasn't sure if that kind of thing was infectious.

Amu smiled triumphantly, unaware of the possible danger that she might have faced. Her subconscious was telling her something! It was like a puzzle. Oh, what could the answer be, where could it lie?

She had the Humpty Lock. Ikuto, who was somewhere in Europe looking for his father, had the Dumpty Key. Now, Humpty and Dumpty were seperated and whatever the king did (king obviously meaning Tadase) he couldn't fix Amu's heart again! Now she knew why she felt oh so empty. Ikuto wasn't there! It took her five years to figure this out.

Her posture slumped again. But that was the point, wasn't it? Ikuto wasn't there. Oh, I'm so alone. So empty. So freaking SAD it's unbelievable.

Ah, but she had to hurry home. Who knew what was lying in wait for her out in the dark night like this?

-lll-

Ikuto was never a man to go back on his promises, and there was one promise that he especially wanted to keep. Which promise? Like any Amuto fan would be likely to forget - the I'll make you love me promise. Yeah, you know the one. That's right, now we really know exactly how this ends.

But Ikuto had a problem. What would be a sufficiently surprising and awe-inducing act that would make Amu love him even after he basically ditched everyone in Japan for five years to chase after a man he hadn't seen or heard from since he was a preteen himself? How would he be able to showcase his awesomeness and get the now seventeen-year-old and likely-to-have-bigger-breasts Amu? Sure, he'd angsted a lot and thought over how much he was missing his little strawberry (because this has to come up in the story) but he'd never come up with a plan. Now he was back in Japan for no discernible reason, fatherless, penniless, friendless and Yoru-less. He just wanted to see his little strawberry again.

He hadn't stopped anywhere to drop off his things. All his luggage and his violin case was still with him. As he walked aimlessly in the street and sometimes glanced up at the moon (look, they connect! Connect, I say!) he caught sight of one particular album song. Perfect, he thought.

He stuck a hand out onto the road and... a magical purple triple-decker bus instantly appeared, almost knocking him over. A conductor in a purple uniform leapt out of the bus and began to speak loudly into the night. "Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard..."

"Hey, you're in the wrong fanfiction corner, Stan," said Ikuto. Stan Shunpike looked at Ikuto for a moment before drawing his wand.

"Obliviate!"

... a taxi stopped for him. He would be going to Amu's place first thing. Oh, how he missed his little strawberry.

Utau? Utau who?

-lll-

Here, the fact that Amu is alone and still misses Ikuto is slammed into our faces repeatedly. Oh, and she has bigger boobs. Much bigger boobs. Incidentally, she was thinking about Ikuto as she unlocked the door to her house. Her parents were... somewhere else, probably with Ami. Either that or they let their seventeen-year-old, voluptuous daughter rent an apartment by herself (because Tsumugu Hinamori really seems like that kind of a person).

In the living room she saw...

"Ikuto!" she gasped, shocked, horrored. "W-w-what are y-y-you d-doing here?" Oh, careful Amu, the attack of the stutters might return full-force again.

Ikuto leaned in close, whispering seductively, "Shh, don't say a thing." He silently congratulated her on achieving such huge knockers in five years. With that out of the way, he wanted to impress upon Amu what an awesome guy he was. He wanted his first words to Amu in five years to be perfect. Sure, they hadn't met in all that time and he'd only ever texted her and he knew nothing of her life or the lives of her friends. Tadase got hitched? The Guardians are finally not elementary students? Baby sister had her first kiss from a willing participant? Who cares? All that mattered was impressing his, well, not so little strawberry.

With this in mind, he pressed the play button on the CD player and the first strains of music could be heard. He knew how to make an entrance.

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
I think it's special what's behind your back
So turn around and i'll pick up the slack.

Take em' to the bridge

Amu was completely entranced. He moved so... so smoothly. Seductively. It set her seventeen-year-old, hormone-filled heart racing. She totally forgave him for just taking off and leaving her completely alone for five years during which time she could have been abused and raped by random strangers. This song totally proved that he loved her.

Dirty babe
You see these shackles
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

And so he leaned in and kissed her. And they made out. All was right with the world once more. Aruto? What about him? It's all good as long as they kiss in the end. Don't y'all just love happy endings?