A/N: I apologise to you all in advance for the big block of text below. Have courage.

Thank you to En ar Ciel, my fabulous new beta. She is a goddess among people.

Missing Paragraphs: Reward Offered

It was a normal day and the Shugo Chara cast were taking a break from all the romance that they were forced to undergo in most fanfiction. Kukai was being a coach potato and flipping through television channels in an attempt to find something to watch. He looked up, however, when he heard the sound of running. Utau burst in, her eyes wide with panic as she shouted, "We've lost our paragraphs!" Kukai stared at her. "What're you talking about, woman?" "That!" she exclaimed. "Can't you see? Each time somebody new speaks or a new topic is introduced it is supposed to be placed in a new paragraph!" "Golly gosh, you're right!" he exclaimed right back. "Look how difficult it is to read something like this? My eyes are already tired and watering. Plus, you can barely tell who's talking," she said, shaking her head sadly. "Gee whiz, captain, you're right again!" he replied, shocked. "And this is just with two people talking," Utau continued ominously. "Imagine if there were three people in this room... or more." "That sounds horrible! Oh, whatever can we do?" Kukai shouted, his hands coming up to cheeks to express how truly shocked he was. Utau shot him a suspicious look. "Are you making fun of me?" "Me?" he asked innocently. "Why would I do that?" Then the door opened once more and Kairi and Yaya entered, the latter eating cotton candy. Utau groaned and covered her eyes. "Hey~!" Yaya greeted them enthusiastically. Kairi frowned. "What's wrong with the paragraphing?" he asked, confused. "We've lost them," explained Utau. "Lost them? How're you supposed to lose paragraphs?" asked Yaya. "I don't know, alright?" Utau snapped. "This is fanfiction – if it made sense, it wouldn't be fanfiction!" Kairi sighed and adjusted his glasses. "Alright, calm down. What does the paragraph look like?" "It's a rectangular button with the word ENTER emblazoned on it," said Utau quickly, "and I can't find it anywhere." "Oh, the horror!" gasped Kukai. "Yaya doesn't get it," she said, tilting her head in confusion. "Well, the lack of paragraphing is what is causing the author to try and find actions for us to accomplish as we speak, in an attempt to lighten the confusion and inform the readers as to who is talking at the moment," said Utau, nodding sagely. "I see, I see. Imagine what it would be like if the author wasn't aware of the horrors of no paragraphing? Apart from making the eyes hurt, of course," Kairi added, looking very intelligent indeed as his glasses flashed in the light. "I wonder if anybody's still reading this after so many non-paragraphed lines?" said Kukai, attempting to look through the fourth wall. Utau hit him. "Stop breaking the fourth wall, already," she said. "This isn't the time." "But you guys keep doing it...!" he protested. "It's only okay when we do it. We're subtle," said Kairi meaningfully. Yaya had enough. "Come on, let's look for it already! Yaya's head is starting to hurt from all the text!" she wailed. "Just be thankful that the capitals are in the right place, the grammar is mostly correct and that punctuation exists in this piece of writing," said Utau. "Let's find the others and ask them if they've seen the paragraphs," suggested Kairi. Utau sighed. "Well, we have no other leads, so I guess this is our only option," she admitted. "Yay, an excursion!" said Kukai cheerfully. Utau rolled her eyes. "C'mon, we'll find Amu first." -lll- They found Amu fishing in a river with Nagihiko and asked her whether she'd seen the button. Yes, the author is using indirect speech to lower the amount of dialogue in this block of text. Ingenious, isn't it? "Sorry, I haven't seen anything of the sort," said Amu sadly. Nagihiko just shook his head mutely. "Oh, right," said Utau, disappointed. "Because I'm developing the worst migraine from this chapter." "Oh no!" said Kukai dramatically. Utau shot him a dirty look. "It's bad enoughI have to put up with you whenever I'm not being a bitchy obstacle in the way of Amuto, but in my break? God, I need some caffeine or I'll lose it," she muttered, jaw clenched. "Lose what?" asked Kukai. Utau took a deep, if not so calming breath. "Lose my mind," she managed to say evenly. "Oh? Didn't know you had one," he replied cheerfully. Rather than turning around and attempting to throttle Kukai, she chose instead to stomp away and yell at the top of her powerful lungs, "I need coffee NOW!" The others were helpless but to follow her. -lll- They found Rima loitering around the coffee machine with Tadase. They had been enjoying a kind of awkward silence before Utau and co interrupted them by asking if either of them had seen the big red button. They said they hadn't. "And co? I'm an 'and co'?" screeched Amu. "I'm the main character! Not that you could tell if you read any of this author's stories. They never focus on me. Me and my problems. That's what the show is about!" Ah, but the author was only intending to save space. "Then why couldn't it be Amu and co? Seriously! Why do you like Utau more than me? She wasn't even nice at the beginning of the show! And you're not even funny!" Utau laid a calming hand on her shoulder. "Look, let's save that for a later chapter. Right now, we need to focus on finding the paragraphs. Ratings are dropping like flies because people can't stand to read this kind of thing." Amu drooped, her fighting spirit gone. "I guess you're right. Who else can we ask?" "Well, who's missing?" asked Utau. They looked at each other and started to count. Amu, Utau, Kukai, Tadase, Rima, Nagihiko, Yaya, Kairi... Well, the adults wouldn't know anything. They were adults and therefore obviously utterly useless. So that left... "Ikuto," they chorused. "But where would a thieving cat be?" wondered Rima. Amu and Utau exchanged glances. "If we know anything about this author," said Amu, "we know where Ikuto would likely appear." The others in the group looked clueless. Utau sighed for the umpteenth time. "Follow me," she ordered. -lll- "Where're we going?" asked Yaya. "Up some stairs," answered Rima, her breathing just a little heavy. "Yaya knows that much, but where do the stairs lead?" said the girl, pouting. "To the roof," answered Tadase kindly. Or as kindly s he could, considering that this was the first time he'd spoken throughout the chapter. And Amu was complaining? Then they emerged into the light. And there in front of them was a sleeping Ikuto, just as Amu and Utau had predicted. After all, what would Ikuto do in his spare time if not sleep on a roof? As they crept closer, they saw that he was cradling a red button, the word ENTER clearly printed on top. How he had gotten it and why he was hugging it was a question probably best left unanswered. Utau reached down and deftly took it. Then, with a certain amount of ceremony, she pressed the button.

"Testing, testing, is it working?" Utau asked the air.

"It is! Look," said Kairi, face alight with wonder and relief.

"Oh. My. God. That is so fantabulously awesome!" Kukai cried out happily.

"There's space," marvelled Tadase. "Everything's not so... cramped and confusing!" He almost didn't mind that it was only his second line in the chapter.

"Things will be back to normal now," breathed Amu in relief.

Ikuto snored and shifted slightly in his sleep, therebyending his contribution to the chapter.

"Okay, good work, everyone!" said Utau. "We still have fifteen minutes of b

reak left."

"...What was that?" asked Yaya, sliding clos

er to Kairi.

"There it is again!" said Nagihiko, who could give Tadase a run for his money in t

he least number of lines spoken by a character.

"W-what's happening," stuttered Amu, backing away.

"I think... the paragraphs are going out of contro

l!" shouted Kairi.

"Like, oh mah gawd, how could this be happening to me? I'm t

oo pretty to be split up!" yelled Kukai in despair.

"Is Kukai broken?" asked Yaya, looking slightly worrie

dly at him.

"You can't break something that was never funct

ional in the first place," said Utau, wincing as she w

as split off mid-sentence again.

"Tht waz ttly rud i shud ttly blok u!1!" sc

reamed Kukai, even as the air split in two and the se

ntence was unnaturally torn apart.

"Okay, something's wrong with him!" sai

d Nagihiko.

"Something's wrong wit

h us!" Tadase retorted.

Utau looked down at t

he red button. "I think it's going ha

ywire!"

"bzkfbafsifhjbg!" sai

d Kukai.

"Yaya's scared!" she annou

nced, trying to scream over t

he rips in the air.

"Don't worry, j

ust run! Get away fro

m here!" ordere

d Utau.

"GO!"

The s

ky

s

p

l

i

t

.

-lll-

You sit there disbelievingly, staring at the five words displayed on the screen: 'Sorry, we're having technical difficulties'. Through reading this chapter, you have come to realise how important it is to place paragraphs in their correct places. You swear to yourself never to underestimate the powers of the 'Enter' key. You realise that if you are less than confident in your paragraphing skills, you can always practice using this very piece of writing. You can add paragraphs to the first blob of text, and remove them from the latter part of the story. If you do this right, you may end up with a perfectly balanced piece of writing.

Also, you learn that chatspeak should not be used while writing a decent story. Ever. More importantly, you learn to, if in doubt, look for Ikuto on the roof.

You learn all this. And then, as you navigate away from this page to read some other fanfic, this knowledge will slip from your mind and you will take with you only the lingering sensation of unease as you either ignore the Enter key or press it one too many times. Always remember; paragraphs are just a button away.