Life and Death

If you live your entire life feeling dead would that mean in death you would feel alive?

Death and life have a strained equilibrium. They both can occur unexpectedly and instantaneously. Within the shinobi world it is especially true. To become a ninja was to accept the fact that life and death always are staring you in the face with the hourglass of your subsistence. They continuously hover around the mind allowing your ears to hear each grain of your life slowly drift away from mission to mission. Battle to battle. Assassination to assassination.

Many are able to recklessly choose the path of being a tool of destruction. Those same people never think ahead. They are all complacent with seeing their own life clock and seeing the seconds drift away, but when that clock unexpectedly runs out for someone else… things change. People change. Ino Yamanaka has always been a person who sees the delicate balance of existence on the eyes of life. She believes that everyone should have the chance to live their life to the fullest. That is because everyone can add something to another's life. There was a time that the golden hair girl had forgotten about that and wanted to lose her life. Luckily she found another person who made her want to live everyday. That is why Ino has yet to kill anyone on a mission. So hopefully an enemy could change their life around or continue living. Today is different. The kunoichi feels like her life is going to change.

Blonde hair whips left and right in the thunderous weather. Rain falls as if it is trying to wash away impurities of the land. There are fallen bodies of both friends and foes, but Ino does not stop at any of them. Being part of a medical team that stays behind the enemy line and only moves in when there is no danger is not a hard job. One just has to be quick. Her mind feels that her body needs to be faster to find Zaku. The clock is ticking and the grains of life are falling like petals off a dying rose. How much more time could the bole eye boy have?

Ino can only curse herself so many times over that stray mutt. Her mind keeps wondering why he had to take the mission. It was her mission to begin with and not his! Yet every time the brain in her blonde head yelled to request his dissolution from the mission he refused. Sky blue eyes loom back and forth on the ground despite the stormy field. She is also on the team with the Hokage's most trusted advisor, but even the dark haired woman would need some time to catch up with Ino. The Yamanaka child is looking for only one person. Her cerulean orbs finally find him.

For Zaku Abumi there was no academy class in Oto so he was automatically a genin by his previous village's standards. How he became a genin was to kill a boy for that position. How he retained being a genin was by killing anyone who challenged him for the position. It was the same with his past partners. He killed to keep his position. The four sounds that protected his master killed to keep their position. The legendary leviathan killed anyone and everyone that would even think of usurping his position. It was no surprise then that this shinobi views existence through the contacts of death. Just as the harmonious mummy had said to him a long time ago 'Some people are only born to die. The world is a pyramid. Try not to be on the bottom'.

The stray from Oto agreed. Not everyone lives. Some are just around waiting to die. As his body lie in tall grass wondering if the weather would get better and rain pouring down as if from the head of shower he could only think of how many people are just in this world to die. Him. His old teammates. Half the population of the sound village. There are many more. None of their lives had any meaning. That was probably why they listened to the sound the great snake had played for them. Simply because that gave them purpose. It gave him purpose. It brought them all to life. With a raspy breath and eyes that are slowly closing the lone wolf disregarded the thought. Thinking isn't supposed to be his specialty anyways.

"Zaku!" the banshee like voice awakes him from his final slumber. That voice always seems to be able to awaken him. The Oto defector always found it annoying. Usually his voice would have roared back with the same intensity, but not now. He feels too weak. His throat feels like it is drowning. Perhaps on its own liquid. When her peach face and sparkling yellow hair come into view his lips want to give a smile, but can not. He wants to say something sarcastic and rude, but can't. His mind does keep track of his thought process. "She's someone that deserves to live."

"Idiot…. Idiot." She grits the words out through grinding teeth as she watches his form lying in pain, his spirit ready to dance away to the tune Hypnos. Why did he have to go off and take this? Why is he always so? Ino thinks of all the 'whys' that the prideful boy has created in her life, but none have an answer. Even if the hurt wolf's mouth always barked loudly, allowing anyone to know of his plans he kept this plan a secret from nearly everyone.

It was originally Ino's mission. The task at hand was to disrupt a yakuza group, known as The Green Light that had begun to infiltrate Fire Country. Their main weapon of attack was a very addicting drug. With this weapon the yakuza group managed to crawl through the country of Konoha very quickly and quietly. The shinobi village needed to step in when the evil addiction began to affect ninja of each rank. With little to go on, all they knew of the yakuza leader kept a few powerful shinobi at his side and he had a thing for beautiful girls less than half his age. With not knowing the strength of the shinobi this tyrant kept, it was only plausible to use a genuine young beauty rather than someone disguised. Everyone knew that left a select few who would go on this dangerous mission. It eventually became the task for Ino Yamanaka to take on the perilous assignment.

She would not be alone on the mission; her father would not have it any other way. Among this task to support a jounin and three chuunin. The plan was simple. Seduce the man and find out everything that could be known about the drug and all his contacts in Fire Country. Then assassinate him, preferably through a subtle way, without breaking your presence. The flower princess was more than willing to take on the challenge. Not just to keep up with her cherry blossom rival, but to also test and push herself to another level. It was the girl's decision in the end despite what her father thought. Despite what Zaku thought.

The blonde rushes over, dropping down to her knees and allowing them to drag and scrape against the rain soaked terrain. Both her arms cradle her love's head, bringing him up carefully as one would do with an infant. Ino almost forgets that she is a medical shinobi and not just some girl about to see someone precious to her die. Her head goes through the steps that have been taught to her in these situations. First thing: survey the scene before attempting anything. Ino already has blown that initial step so may as well move on to the other. Her head is not concerned for her safety but that just may put both in trouble. Next is to assess the victim and check for respiration. Body prone and not moving. Battle scars, bruises, blunt trauma. Still shouldn't be enough to put the dog out to pasture, but then… "Keep focus!" the young flower barks at herself. This is the most important time that she needs to remain a medical shinobi and not the weak girl who couldn't handle life from years previous.

"Zaku can you hear me? Tell me what's wrong?" her voice shouts trying to maintain a composed tone to calm her being more than anything. No response. Check the fundamental ABCs: airway, breathing and circulation. Nothing in his maw to block the breath of life. Not even the slightest rise in his chest. Eyes dilated. The boy's mind is a mile away from his body. Ino puts her ear to his chest and checks his pulse trying to gauge how much time is left within the hurt wolf's body. Pale fingers claw and stretch at the boy's shirt tearing it. Something is wrong with his respiration. That is where the kunoichi needs to start. Once that is assessed the medical ninja needs to do as much as she can now. Placing a palm on the middle of his chest, the chakra within her body begins to circulate. Hurry Ino. The clock is ticking. The hourglass is half way finished.

Think. Think! The flower's mind is running on two different tracks. One trying to finish assess the situation, the other wanting to panic and try everything her mind can rattle off just to bring the boy back to life. Why does he always have to be so careless with his life! Even in that mission that is the start of this heartbreak.

The mission had become botched. A combination of leaked information and shinobi who had paid attention the girl's actions. The blue eyed flower was in trouble and would have been crucified by this group as an example if it were not for the intervention of the Konoha shinobi. The battle quickly got out of hand which lead to the deaths of many. The Green Light managed to get the better of the leaf thanks to civilian body shields. Ino survived battle, blowing her cover as a double agent. Yet at the same time Zaku managed to gain the Green Light's trust playing to the other side and thus keeping his village of the leaf in the loop.

How did he manage this, especially after the Green Light had already found a betrayer? There was one thing he was willing to do that Ino did not. It was one of the reasons that her father did not want his little gold rose on the mission and one of the things she was warned about to be wary of and not to take. He took their drugs as if he was addicted.

And why not? This mission of the underworld is perfect from him. He has taken drugs before. How many painkillers did he need to take when his wind funnels were first grafted into the bones of his arm? Drugs to numb and ignore pain in the body. Pills to suppress pain in the mind. Stimulants to keep his body active pass his limits. Suppressants for other pills that made his chakra go haywire. Tablets that the immortal leviathan and his right hand nurse wanted to test. And even some for just shits and giggles.

He would laugh if his body would allow it. Thinking back exactly how many problems did glorious Oto fix with under the table medicine? His old shirt could have easily had 'Drugs' marked down on it three times instead of 'Death'. Then again 'Death' was cooler. Nauseous eyes just stare up at the blonde who appears she is going to hyperventilate. Zaku can only be thankful it isn't her in this position. She has more reason to live. Him? Well he was a mutt to begin with. Dying in ditch seems more fitting for someone like him. At least that's what the death seeker believes.

"There you are!" A voice echoes out through the night raindrops alerting Ino. Zaku makes no movement. Two shinobi quickly approach. An older female with three canines. This person passes Ino and rushes on ahead. The other, a man with black facial markings covering the top of his face stops. "You didn't survey the area first! We just had to take down thr-"

"Not now! It's Zaku! He's dying! Where's Shizune!"

"They need her in another area. She broke off from us after you went on ahead."

"But, she knows h-"

"It's ok. We can work here. But we must work quickly."

The two medical ninja begin to ramble. To the proud wolf's ears it's like trying to listen in on a conversation from six feet under water. There's a faint sound of a conversation, but the noise is so foreign to the ear they may as well just use hand signs to convey it. His eyes are feeling the same way. Everything is beginning to look like ripples. As if someone tossed a stone in a lake. Is this the death that he has somehow evaded for the last few years?

His ears try to listen to what they are saying. Only making out a few words with each of their sentences. Heart rate…. blood pressure. Pupils. Overdose from. Shock, diaphoresis, respiratory dropping. Lose. All gibberish even from what he can understand. The only thing that sticks with him is the word 'lose'. Loser. A word that sticks to him like the scent of a skunk. Even in this one small mission he still ends up losing.

When did the pills beat him? How could they? Back in Oto he never succumbed to any of those when others around him became devoted to their medicine cabinet. Even the double head of the four sounds had more than half his diet consisting on his happy tablets. So why now? Why this time? When did this fake persona of a drug loving mercenary become his actual face? Or maybe it was always his face? But that's too much thinking for Zaku. The stray dog would rather just take in the last view of blonde hair and blue eyes. All the while thinking of this poetic fate. 'A ditch in a street is the first place I remember sleeping. A ditch in a street will be the last place I remember sleeping.' Tick tock. The hourglass still moves. Just how many more minutes till Thanatos can claim a new pet?

Konoha's dandelion absorbs the information her medical superior is rapidly mouthing off while setting up the equipment. It is not going to be an easy procedure and the man does not lie when he says it may just be too late. Ino pays no attention to that part. They will both be around to see another tomorrow.

She puts the faint wolf's head on her lap, using one hand to gently slap his cheek and awaken him. The other begins to perform a technique. A deviation of the Delicate Illness Variation technique. Because of the instability of the boy's chakra the drug has caused them to use another way. Ino has the difficult job of keeping Zaku semi conscious lest he fall into some drug induced coma and lose all stability of his aura. At the same time she is going to use this variation technique to pull all the toxins from his affected areas into his stomach.

Simultaneously the middle-age doctor of shinobi is also going to use the technique to guide it to his stomach. There he will make an incision and use a tube in his stomach to siphon out the toxins. With luck they'll get it all out and finish stabilize him. The most likely scenario? Zaku will finish cross over into this toxic state and die. That is what the older doctor knows based on similar scenarios. Of course for Ino there is no giving up. If it is because she has not seen enough scenarios like this or lost patients just because there wasn't anything medically possible left do the man is unsure. Either way this will probably be one of those harsh lessons in life that a teenager learns and becomes more jaded to the world. How long till the dandelion learns this lesson? According to the hour glass just minutes away. Tick tock. Time's running out.

"Come on Za-kun! Get up! Just what do you think you are doing lying down here on the job? And I was thinking you were going to do something cool and impress me on this mission." Ino says putting on as big a smile as she can. Lips that reveal a smile but eyes that run like raindrops that fall from the sky. He just has to survive! The stray's eyes open blurred and hazed.

"Didn't…. I tell…. you… not to …. call me…. that."

A response! It's a start to survival. This alone makes her want to jump, but the battle is long from finished and time is favoring the dead. The tattooed face ninja looks at Ino. "I'm going to make an incision now. Hold him still."

She watches the scalpel cut in, the blood flow out. The boy slightly flinches but eyes remain locked with his blonde savior. "What... are you trying?" he croaks out weakly just a few decibels above a whisper. Her eyes still glimmer with tears holding her jutsu and speaking with him.

"Trying to save your life. Jeez you should be more grateful."

"You're friends… are out here too… right? You should… go find them first…"

"They're ok. Besides you're one of them too. Just focus on getting well here and then I can go check on the others."

"Stupid… there is no value… in… saving me. Go… find… someone..-"

"No idiot! Because saving you is the world to me right now!" she shouts. A part of her wants to strike him for being the idiot he is right now. Ino has to concentrate. Never before has the Yamanaka prayed for the little talent that she has to overcome and prevail in this situation. She never lost a patient that she worked on before. She has been this fortunate. If there is ever a day where she would have to watch someone fall from life into the pool of death it isn't going to be today.

Zaku isn't as determined. The ripple effect in his eyes just disorients him and watching the girl above him. The only thing he can see is a pastel mismatch of gold and sky blue. He would have wanted to go out with a better bang, but most of his wants were never reciprocated. Life is dreadful in that aspect.

The girl stopped his skeleton on that bridge months back. From then he never did try to make an appointment with death. Still that does not mean he did not want Thanatos to find him. He lived, but why? For her? It would never last. Misery likes company and even though both found a way out of that dark pit, only she shines brighter than ever before. Him? His mangled claws dragged his bones out of that well of darkness to find a road of nothing before him.

Ino's life is becoming something more. For Zaku, Ino is his only thing and it isn't enough. It isn't enough to keep her at his side. It is not enough to fill this void in his chest he cannot explain. Not surprising. His old teacher is the man who craves for everything. Ambition so great that it seeps into all those around him. And for a man who desires everything the promise of nothing is terrifying.

So there is only one way to make everyone happy. A death on the battlefield. The girl can move on to someone better. Her friends and family would not have to worry about the dastardly old wolf corrupting their flower. The leaf itself gets to take care one of its 'probable lawless' that he has been labeled and can just put everything about him in a file cabinet never to be opened again. And for the wolf himself? Destroyed in a final battle. Maybe one of those important battles that he could never win. What a nice send off to the afterworld. He would not allow himself to be killed, but the day when it would. Zaku could not wait. "Stop being stupid… Ino. I've been… in a coffin since the chuunin exams… it just did not close till today…. It's ok… this is… what I've been waiting for… dying for something."

"Don't say that! Why would you wait for that? I don't care how ripped you are in the head I'm not going to forgive you easily for spouting this 'dying crap'!" Her face tries to make a stern an angry look, but she is far more worried. The flower looks up to see her associate has already put in the hollow tube and begin to suck on it. First it's just blood that rises through the tube, but then the kunoichi can see the corruption in his blood. A disgusting mixture of dark green and red. She could beat herself and the stray wolf up. Her for allowing him to do the mission and him for even starting to take the drugs. Because he wants to die for something? Why is it men are always ready to die for something at the drop of a hat, but never seem gung ho to try their damndest to live for it instead?

"Why'd you have to take this stuff and not tell anyone!" she yells at him, for once anger beginning to overtake her.

"I thought… I had it under control…"

"You had nothing under control!"

"You're… right… I had… nothing… no… control… not anything."

"What?"

"Look… I'm a death seeker. It's only… natural for me to be… in a position like… this. I'm not alive unless… I'm killing… or being killed… Since…. I'm not shit… of a shinobi… anymore… being killed is fate."

"You don't feel alive? Not even with me?"

"No.. that's.. not-"

"You of all people who fight against everything! And you're talking about your fate to be killed! Even now you're still fighting for life! You just don't want to admit it!" Her voice calms down slightly, taking in a large breath. "Zaku I think no matter the situation you just want to try and piss me off."

"The… last thing you want… to… do to a dead man is yell at him…? You could… at least say something like 'I won't… forget you'." the death seeker says trying to make a cocky grin. He does not know if he makes the correct facial expression or if even his face can make it. Zaku just feels cold and dry. Ino's face looks down serious.

"Zaku. I won't ever forgive you if you die here. If your fate is to die here… then I guess it's also mine."

The boy is a little perplexed at what she says, but his is enough to rouse his consciousness and steady his sight a little. Things are a blur but no longer ripple like. "What are… you… trying to spout off…?" he coughs out. The girl strokes one side of his face keeping her look in his bole pupils.

"You didn't hear me Zaku. Well if you die here today then I will also die right next to you."

"What the hell… is that going to… solve?"

"The same as your death would."

"Don't… be… saying stupid… things like… that you idiot."

"Then don't die you idiot."

At this point Zaku can feel a weird pain at his side. The girl above him looks away concerned at someone else. She screams, although he cannot hear. Time is up. The sand has run empty in the hour glass and no one to turn it over to start again. The clock has stated its past due time. The haggard teen can feel his vision drifting. Everything ripple like and ethereal. His hearing as if in a cave and he can only hear echoes and not true voices. Is this the end? Someone calls his name three times, but he cannot respond back. Numbness. Hypnos is playing the sweet jazz of death. Thanatos has a carriage waiting with a leash for his new pet.

Death is found.

It is his belief, but then his eyes awaken. How much time has passed? He does not know. To him it feels like minutes, but he is in a hospital bed. A tube in his forearm, another in his stomach and a smaller one in his nose. To one side he sees the blonde kunoichi asleep in a chair near his bedside.

"Ohh you're awake." A medical ninja states. Even in his partially delirious state he can see the entering form. There is no mistake. The cherry blossom friend of Ino. He does not say anything but the girl speaks. "It's good to see you're finally up. Ino practically moved into your room for the last four days. She really burnt herself out to make sure you were alive." The girl states with a smile. Zaku stares back still bewildered to be alive.

"I have a few other patients to check on so I'll be back. If you need anything just ring." The rival flower walks out leaving the two winners. All the while Zaku just stares at her. "Hey you. Get up. You can go home and get some sleep in a bed."

Sky blue eyes awaken, tired and weary, but still with the energy to persevere. She looks at him with a smile and a yawn. "Took you long enough to wake up. You're so lazy always wanting to sleep."

"I was expecting that to be my final nap… but I guess not."

"You're too young to be having final naps. Stop trying to be a drama queen."

"Weren't you the one who said 'if its fate that you die then it's my fate too' or something like that?"

She slaps his leg with a laugh that causes the teen boy to wince slightly. "Pfft. I wasn't going to die for you. See you're such drama queen."

"So you were just going to let me die then?"

"Nope! You think I was going to let you get off so easy after putting me through all that trouble? No way. You owe me big time. And something trivial like dying isn't going to get you off the hook."

Zaku stares at the girl incredulously before letting his face hide in his palm. Yes that was his girl. Ino Yamanaka. The flower who punched out afterlife's clock. Her hands turned hereafter's hourglass upside down. She broke Hypnos's instrument of sleep. She toss Thanatos's leash in his face. She chased the two brothers away in their grim carriage while probably twirling a club in the air with a war cry. Zaku has to admit. In her own way… she is probably more of a brute than him. But that's a good thing.

The girl yawns and places her head back down where it was before. "I'm going back to sleep now." the peach face turns away from the boy only allowing to see the garden of gold locks on her head. "Just do me a favor and live.". The boy just stares down at her form.

"Even if there is nothing ahead for me in the future? What type of life is that?"

"That's all the more reason you should live. So you can find things that you want to live for."

"It's that simple to you huh?"

No response. Just the small rhythms of her breath can be heard. She falls asleep mid conversation. Zaku stares out his window at the sky. A wonderful scene of light azure with no clouds in the sky. "Guess there's going to be good weather today."

The boy has not found his answer with life and death. Just to keep living.

This chapter was for the most part done since the end of last year, but I just was not pleased with it. Still not fully pleased with it. It became one of those projects that the more I tried the worse I felt it was getting yet my personality wouldn't let me continue on any other fanfics until I either finished or scrapped this one. Since it has been written at different times over a period of nearly a year I figured I may as well post it up. Hope you enjoy. Sorry if I butchered the tenses of sentences. I tried writing it as if it was spoken. I'll let you all tell me if I succeeded or failed by trying that.

Hoped you enjoyed it.

SaiyanWarrior200: Thanks for the suggestion. Inoichi is just trying to be good father. Unlike us the viewers who know everything he is left out of the loop. It's a little hard to accept your daughter is dating one of the guys who had a hand in your leader's assassination. At least from his view. Don't worry though. Inoichi still has a hand or two to play in a later chapter. Whether if he'll be more accepting or not you will have to see.

Kiwi4me: Hopefully. Sadly I'm as fast as continents move each year and easily distracted. A very bad combination, but I shall try.

Next Chapter: Truths and Falsehoods